


Uncertain future

by thedollars666



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Human Trafficking, Humor, M/M, Parenthood, Smuggling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2020-05-16 15:07:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 138,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19320625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedollars666/pseuds/thedollars666
Summary: It’s said that having a child changes your life, Izaya and Shizuo find out the hard way when they rescue a baby from the clutches of a human traffic dealer.Deciding to raise her as theirs, the two create themselves a little family. Unfortunately, the danger is far from over and their relationship begins to crumble more and more, until it leave them both broken.With their future uncertain, how long until tragedy strikes closer to home?Heartbreak, tears and tragedy ensues in this third and final sequel.





	1. Rescue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! this is the third and final sequel, following after winds of change, and my most recent one- Storms of yesterday.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it as much as the previous two!

Shizuo and Tom look up at the run-down looking apartment complex, Shizuo tilted his head, it didn’t seem like anybody was living here. “Hey Tom, are you sure this is the right place?”

 

Tom hummed and shoved his hands in his pockets, taking a few steps forward. “Think so”

 

Shizuo scanned the building, the brickwork was cracked in several places, it was even tilted ever so slightly to one side, and with only a few fully whole windows, he began to wonder how the hell anyone could even live here. “Doesn’t look like a place anyone could live” he voiced aloud, of course he did, he wasn’t going to keep that to himself, Tom was used to his bluntness anyway.

 

Tom shrugged and then smiled over his shoulder “Anyone can live just about anywhere, especially when times are hard, people get desperate; I suppose anywhere is better than the streets, even a place like this”

 

Shizuo sighed, pushing up his shades and then clicked his tongue, a tint of blush on his cheeks. “Tch. Man, now I feel kind of bad for saying that”

 

Tom chuckled a little, his friend was considerate, and he loved that quality about him. “Don’t worry about it, I won’t think bad of ya”

 

Shizuo smiled “Thanks. I guess, what I meant was, that if anyone is living here, they got no logic borrowing money off a loan shark company like us, right?”

 

The duo step into the building, even the stairs were worn, and the walls looked like they could just cave at any moment, Shizuo began to grow concerned, what if the client pissed him off? One burst of anger and he could bring the whole place crumbling down. They ascended the stairs carefully, even Tom looked concerned, though Shizuo suspected it wasn’t for the same reason that he was. It appears the building only had one floor, yet the stairs felt like they went on forever. Only when they reached the top did Tom finally answer Shizuo’s question. “I can certainly understand why that’d be a concern, gotta say, boss might have gone on a whim with this one”

 

They walked through the corridor, it was quiet, but they could hear shuffling through the doors they passed. Shizuo made a point to keep his hands in his pockets, he didn’t need fancy apartments or expensive possessions, but even he felt uneasy being here; he began to feel sorry for those they lived here. For a moment, he pictured what Izaya would think if he was with him right now. The way his face would scrunch up, the way he’d keep checking around himself, how he’d make a point not to _touch_ anything; kind of like what Shizuo was doing now. Somehow though, Izaya’s behaviour would be way more amusing, the informant would do nothing to hide his disgust. In fact, Shizuo suspected he would outright refuse to even enter the building, it made him think about those who sought him out for work. Wonder if this was probably the reason why Izaya made it a point to either have them come to his workplace or meet them out. Shizuo smiled, Izaya had rented out another apartment, like the previous one they lived in, and used it purely for work only; he claimed it was, so he didn’t get distracted. Shizuo knew better, it was so that at the end of the day, their apartment still felt like home once they returned, it made their lives a lot more private, and for that, Shizuo was extremely grateful.

 

Once they got to the end of the corridor, there were fewer doors, and it became even more quiet. Shizuo tensed, his fists clenched from within his pockets. “Tom?”

 

Tom turned, stopping just before he could knock on the door “What’s up?”

 

Shizuo stepped forward “Don’t know. Gotta a bad feeling all of a sudden”

 

Tom blinked in surprise, usually, when Shizuo said something like that, he was usually right. He’d known the guy for years now, and he was hardly going to start doubting him now. “What’s wrong?”

 

Shizuo sighed “Nothing, maybe it’s just this place, s’kinda giving me the creeps” he admitted somewhat embarrassingly.

 

Tom chuckled “Well, we’ll be out of here in no time, so don’t worry about it”

 

“Yeah, all right” Tom nodded and then turned to tap his knuckles against the worn wooden door. Shizuo grabbed his arm lightly, halting him again. “Let me go first, ok?” Tom smiled, it wasn’t like Shizuo to be _this_ worried, but he wouldn’t rebut him, they switched places. Shizuo knocked on the door. At first attempt, they got no answer. Shizuo growled low in his throat and tried again, knocking a little harder. The door rattled, Tom winced, this building wasn’t exactly in the best shape.

 

 _Please let the client not piss Shizuo off_ Tom thought, though that wasn’t his main concern, his main concern was Shizuo’s concern, when the man had a bad feeling, he was usually bang on.

 

The door opened to reveal a short brown-haired woman; her eyes widened at the sight of them both. She stared at them for a moment before attempting to slam the door shut again. Shizuo was quicker, his hand flat across the door as he easily caught it and pushed it fully open. the woman gave a shrill cry and stumbled backwards. “Relax. Not gonna hurt you or anything” Shizuo said as he and Tom entered the room cautiously. “Just here for the payment, all right?”

 

The woman stared at them; eyes terrified but her whole face was utterly confused. “You borrowed money, right? Just here to collect” Tom said slowly, he hoped that she wouldn’t try to do a runner, it was strange, but most of their clients were usually males. It wasn’t as though they’d give special treatment to them if it happened to be a woman, but sometimes, they had to be a little less threatening. It was a good thing Shizuo had more control over his anger when around women. “Are you listening? Come on, we’ll just take the debt owed and go, nobody is gonna hurt you”

 

Shizuo scowled, she looked completely lost for words, his eyes trailed over the apartment, or rather, the _room._ It was barely something you could call an apartment, there appeared to be a pile of bedding in the corner of the room, not even a mattress, no tv, no couch, not even a coffee table. Something told him she was living here without permission, at least, he got that feeling, given the lack of, well, anything. He looked to the left, another door, closed. _Probably the bathroom_ Shizuo assessed. He then looked down on his right, a single chair, but it was what was on the chair that caught his attention. It was oddly strange, even now, he surprised himself with his eye for certain details. Izaya had taught him to be attentive and perceptive over the years they’d been together, it definitely paid off, in more ways than one. In the last year, Shizuo had even gotten a small raise, his boss and Tom proud of his accomplishments, not getting pissed off and causing damage all the time was always a plus in the boss’s book.

 

He picked up the paper, tilting his head, it seemed important. The reason he was unable to figure out what it was, it was not in Japanese, even if it had been in English, he’d have a little understanding of it, maybe. He could hear Tom still trying to converse with the woman.

 

Tom sighed, he stepped back, closer to Shizuo and whispered, “Maybe she’s deaf?”

 

Shizuo shook his head “Pretty sure that’s not it. I don’t think she understands us” yeah, it was clear to him, judging by this sheet of paper-whatever it was- that the woman was most likely a foreigner.

 

“What makes you say that?” Shizuo turned around and showed him the paper, Tom gave an exasperated sigh. “This really sucks”

 

Shizuo looked at the paper again, he had no clue what it said, but he’d seen the structure of writing before, a few times actually. “I think she’s Russian”

 

Tom blinked in surprise “Seriously? How the hell do you know that? Don’t tell me you can speak Russian now?”

 

Shizuo had to laugh, it was sort of funny, to see how he seemed to keep surprising his long-time friend; huh, he kind of understood how Izaya felt now, surprising people, seeing them react to something _he’d_ done or said, it was a little satisfying. Except, Shizuo only found it so, by the _good_ things that he did, Izaya would not be that much of an influence on him. Shizuo shook his head. “Nah. I can’t read a single word on this paper. But I’m positive it’s Russian”

 

Tom shrugged “If you say so” Shizuo and Tom then look back at the woman “So then what now? I’m quite sure our boss doesn’t speak Russian, so how the hell did we wind up collecting a debt from her?”

 

Shizuo had no reply to that, he really didn’t know. “Anyone at the office know Russian?”

 

Tom laughed “Doubt it. I’m thoroughly confused”

 

Shizuo stepped toward the woman, who instantly tensed, he held up a hand “S’alright. Not gonna hurt you. ah, why am I even talking” he smiled and then sat down, cross legged. Showing her with actions, that he wasn’t a threat. She hesitated and then mimicked him. Tom smiled, his friend never ceased to amaze him, the man could make friends with anyone if he wanted to.

 

“Hey Shizuo? Quick question”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“How can you be certain it’s Russian? Like, what gave you the clue?”

 

Shizuo tilted his head, and then lay his palms flat out behind himself, leaning backwards. “Well. Izaya speaks Russian, fluently actually. I’ve seen him type emails, even write out a few documents in the language, I never really asked him to teach me” Shizuo laughed “I’m not that patient, but I’ve seen him write enough to recognise it”

 

Tom gave him a slight grin when he looked over his shoulder. “Tell me we’re on the same page here?”

 

Shizuo thought for a moment, then realised what Tom was asking, he didn’t need to voice it. “Really?”

 

Tom shrugged “Give him a call, we need the help man”

 

Shizuo looked at the woman again, smiled and held his hand to her when he stood up. She blinked up at him and gently took his hand. “I’d rather not”

 

“How come? Sounds like he’d be a great help here”

 

“That’s not the problem. We don’t know what’s really going on here, kind of all seems a bit sketchy if you ask me. I- I’d rather not involve Izaya in something I don’t even know myself about, you know? I’ve no doubt he’d help, which is why I don’t wanna ask” Shizuo gave him a grin “Gotta keep him out of trouble when I can”

 

Tom laughed with a nod “I get ya. No sweat. So what about Simon? He is Russian after all”

 

Shizuo nodded with a smile “Yeah, great idea! That’ll work”

 

“We’ll come back, I’ll explain to the boss, I’m sure he won’t mind” Tom turned to the woman, waving his hand a little, Shizuo nodded at her, smiling. “Do you know any words? Like, see ya later or…even goodbye?”

 

Shizuo scratched the back of his head, blushing a little. “I know something, but I doubt she’d wanna hear it”

 

Tom pulled a face “Never mind. Sorry I asked”

 

Shizuo blushed even more “Not like that! Nothing like that! I just-” Shizuo said the next part faster, feeling totally embarrassed “I know how to say I love you, all right?”

 

Tom blinked and then smiled “Oh. That’s _cute_. A little odd, that Izaya picks that phrase of all things to teach you, doesn’t really help us now, still, cute”

 

Shizuo looked away, still with a tinge of red on his cheeks “Tch, shut up” Tom chuckled, as they were about to leave, the woman grabbed onto Shizuo’s sleeve. They turned around, halting by the door. Shizuo took his sleeve back gently. He nodded at her. “We’ll be back” hoping that she understood that at least. They left her.

 

……………………….

 

Shizuo frowned as he stared at the ground, they were on their way to the sushi bar, to retrieve Simon so they could communicate with the woman. Tom noticed his lack of conversation, and, the concentration on his face, like he was deep in thought. “What’s up? You’ve been quiet since we left that building ten minutes ago”

 

Shizuo stopped walking, causing Tom to stop, he tilted his head, concerned. “That look she gave me, right before we left, I can’t stop thinking about it, she looked, I don’t know, scared”

 

Tom hummed in thought, then shrugged. “Well, she probably knows she’s in trouble with us at least, she’s gotta know that much”

 

Shizuo’s frown deepened “That’s not it. Something’s wrong, I can’t explain it, but I get the feeling we shouldn’t have left so quickly, I feel like she was telling us to stay”

 

Tom knew Shizuo was serious, he didn’t say anything he didn’t truly mean, the man wore his heart on his sleeve, always. “What do you wanna do then?”

 

“You go ahead. I want to go back”

 

“Really?”

 

Shizuo smiled “Yeah. Need to follow my instincts, in fact, I’ll meet you at Russia sushi, I’ll try and bring the woman with me” Tom watched Shizuo begin to retrace his steps, he shook his head with a sigh, not that he was annoyed or anything, he just didn’t want him getting in trouble unnecessary. Tom jogged to catch up with him, Shizuo stared at him in surprise as they walked in sync. “You don’t have to-”

 

Tom shrugged with a grin “Well, you gotta keep Izaya out of trouble when you can, so I gotta do the same for you no? After all, he can’t keep an eye on you all the time either”

 

Shizuo chuckled “Appreciate that”

 

The two retraced their steps, and they were soon back at the apartment complex, the bad feeling coming back instantly. Shizuo felt it more so than when they’d first arrived. Once they reached the right door, Shizuo again knocked first. They could hear loud whispers, and it seemed as though the woman was now not alone. Tom and Shizuo shared a glance, it couldn’t have been no more than half an hour. The whispers turned into shouts and something that sounded like a glass breaking, then it became eerily silent. Shizuo’s heart raced and his skin crawled, he growled and raised his foot. “Fuck this” he mumbled loudly.

 

Tom raised his hand in an effort to stop him. “Wait a minute-” Too late, Shizuo’s foot connected with the door harshly, and with the structure being what it was, the door was completely busted off its hinges. He stormed in and his eyes scanned over the room; a few seconds passed and soon enough, Shizuo stumbled forward, almost falling face first into the floor. He felt something wet run down his face as he grabbed his head with a low growl. Tom’s eyes widened. “Shit, Shizuo…. are you okay?”

 

Tom ran into the room and then they spotted a man making a run for the window. Shizuo’s eyes snapped up to him, nothing but pure rage in their depths. He ran over and instantly grabbed the guy by the back of his hoodie. “Get the fuck back here!!” the man screamed out as he was yanked to the floor, his eyes staring up at Shizuo with fear.  He didn’t understand, at the proximity and the object with which he attacked him, Shizuo should have been unconscious, or possibly dead. “You just clobber a guy over the head and expect to walk away unharmed!?”

 

The guy shook his head frantically, Shizuo grabbed him by the shirt, raising his fist, he was about to punch his lights out when- “Shizuo!”

 

Shizuo looked up, he froze, Tom was knelt on the floor by the woman, lifting her up slightly. Shizuo could see a deep gash across her forehead, she was barely moving. His grip on the man’s shirt loosened and he dropped him, out of shock. “She all right?” he asked, somehow, he thought he already knew the answer.

 

“I’m calling an ambulance….” Tom said hurriedly as he reached for his phone, the woman reached up weakly and grabbed his arm, halting him from doing so. Using the distraction, the man bolted and headed for the window, Shizuo span around and was about to jump out after him. Tom looked up and called him back, Shizuo grit his teeth, watching the man get away, his grip on the window ledge tightening, causing a large crack to surge up the wall. “Don’t go getting into trouble Shizuo, we have no idea what’s going on yet…”

 

Shizuo clenched his fists, he’d never been so angry. Tom looked down at the woman in his arms, she looked at him, half lidded eyes and was able to mutter something in Russian, but then they were able to make out a name at least, before her eyes fluttered closed and she became limp. Tom’s eyes narrowed and he pressed two fingers to her neck, he looked at Shizuo and then closed his eyes as he shook his head. Shizuo fell to his knees, feeling utterly defeated, in a way, he felt like this was all his fault. He slammed his fist to the floor. “Fuck!” his body shook, he’d never been witness to a death before, it was gut wrenching. Shizuo felt absolutely useless, like he could have done more, could have gone back sooner, could have stayed, could have saved her…

 

Tom gently lay the woman down, this was now a crime scene, and they needed to be careful. He stood up and then knelt by his friend, a hand coming up to his shoulder. “Shizuo…, we need to contact the police…”

 

Shizuo didn’t say anything, he just nodded and stood up with Tom. Then they heard it, a shrill cry. Shizuo’s expression suddenly came back to life, he blinked at Tom and their attention turned to the closed door. “Is that…”

 

“Sounds like a baby, you’ve got to be kidding me…”

 

Shizuo attentively took a few steps toward the door and then slowly opened it, and the cries instantly became louder, both men winced. There, on the bathroom floor, was a grey basket, and within its bundles of blankets, a small baby. “Shit, you’re right Tom, it’s a baby”

 

Tom walked up behind him, looking down at the thrashing infant. “Ah man. This just got even more complicated, what now?” Shizuo frowned a little, he walked forward and knelt to the basket, the crying was grating on his nerves, but he was hardly going to lose his temper over a baby. “Shizuo…”

 

Shizuo placed his hand inside the basket, gently touching the baby’s arm, the little one didn’t even notice, just kept on crying. “Damn it…” Shizuo winced.

 

“Pick it up or something” Tom told him

 

“But…. it’s so damn small, what if I hurt it?”

 

Tom covered his ears with his hands “You’ll be fine, just- make it stop crying” Shizuo stared at the baby for a moment, he and Kasuka hadn’t been that far apart, so he barely remembered how to even hold a baby. Even Izaya would be a lot more experienced then he was, still, he put both hands inside the basket, tucked them under the baby’s arms and lifted the infant out of the crib. The baby looked no more than three months old, Tom wasn’t an expert, but he could tell that much at least. The moment Shizuo stood up with the baby, the crying seized to a light whinge. They walked out of the bathroom and into the dark display of the living room. Tom sighed with sadness, he hadn’t expected this turn of events, he then pulled out his phone. “We need to contact the police; they’ll want a full description and I’ll need to notify our boss too….”

 

Shizuo kept staring at the baby that was held at arm’s length, having really no clue how to hold it right. “W-what about…. what about the baby?”

 

Tom looked over “I guess they’ll take it to social services”

 

Shizuo nodded, yet, he felt inclined to disagree. “What about the father?”

 

Tom sighed again “Yeah well, if that asshole happened to be the dad, then we’re not going to have a problem there” Shizuo nodded, frowning as he understood the implications, the baby would be placed into care then. “Something wrong?”

 

Shizuo lowered his arms a little, the baby had stopped crying now, and was looking at him through half lidded eyes, not quite able to stay awake for long. it seemed as though, that it was at least old enough to support its own head. “Don’t know. I just feel responsible”

 

Tom tilted his head “What do you mean?”

 

“I should have stayed here. you saw the way she looked before we left…. I could have-”

 

“Shizuo. This wasn’t your fault, don’t go feeling guilty or anything, neither of us could understand her, and we still have no idea what happened, why that guy was suddenly here”

 

A thought suddenly crossed his mind, Shizuo looked up from the baby “What if- damn it, what if he was already here!? What if he was here the whole fucking time!” Shizuo bellowed, momentarily forgetting that he had a baby in his arms-or hands- the baby let out another scream, the two men winced. Shizuo looked down, bringing the baby closer to him, trying his best to hold it against his chest, rocking the infant softly. If it weren’t for the situation Tom might have laughed at the scene, the strongest man in Ikebukuro, comforting a baby-of course Tom knew Shizuo was gentle really-but it just looked so damn funny, he looked so awkward.

 

“What do you want to do then?” he asked, and what came next, Tom never expected to hear.

 

“I’m going to take it home”

 

Tom nearly choked on the air, his eyes nearly bugging out of their sockets.  “Are you- seriously?”

 

Shizuo looked at the baby in his arms, it was fussing a lot, but it seemed to be getting comfortable. Shizuo felt guilt stab him in the chest, the baby had just lost its mother, and all because they didn’t act sooner. “I just- it’s my responsibility, I could have done something more, doesn’t feel right to just hand it over to social services”

 

Tom lowered the phone for a moment “You realise what you’re saying here? this isn’t some kind of stray dog you’re taking in-” Shizuo almost laughed, he wouldn’t get one foot in the door if he brought home a dog. “It’s a baby Shizuo, you don’t just get to decide, ‘oh hey, I think I’ll keep it’ this is a human being man, and we have no idea what’s going on”

 

“Exactly, something fishy was going on here, I just want to make sure this kid is safe”

 

“That’s fine, I agree, but, isn’t that what social services are for? I know you feel responsible and all- this wasn’t anyone’s fault but that guy’s, taking home the baby on account of guilt is a bad idea”

 

Shizuo sighed, somewhere in the back of his mind he knew Tom was right, what if that guy really was the dad? What if he tracked the baby down? Shizuo frowned then, if that was the case- “Tom. What if that asshole was the dad? If we take the kid to social services, it’ll be a lot easier for him to get the baby back wouldn’t it?”

 

Tom tilted his head, Shizuo had a point, then the baby really would be no better off. “I guess so, but-”

 

“Then it’s safer with me”

 

Tom smiled, his friend was such a good person, he really wished people would stop thinking otherwise, they just didn’t know him, it got him angry sometimes. Then a thought crossed his mind, something Shizuo probably didn’t really think about. “Aren’t you forgetting something? Or rather- _someone_?” Shizuo blinked, Tom sighed, honestly, Shizuo was so one-track minded sometimes. “Izaya?”

 

Shizuo shuffled awkwardly “Yeah. I know. I’ll think of something”

 

Tom shook his head, seriously? He was really going to just take the baby home and hope for the best? “No offence, but I really doubt Izaya is the paternal type, in fact, he’d probably laugh”

 

Shizuo frowned a little, while it was true that Izaya was hardly the parental type, Shizuo knew damn well the informant wouldn’t laugh. “No, he won’t. but, you’re probably right about the paternal thing. If that is the case, I know he’ll help to deal with the situation before we hand the baby over”

 

Tom nodded, he then looked over at the woman. _What a mess_ he thought. He then grabbed the sheet from the floor of the makeshift bed and gently lay it over her, mumbling an apology. He then turned to Shizuo, who was still trying his hardest to hold the baby in a better position. It wouldn’t do well for him to be here when the police showed up, if he really planned on taking the baby with him, then- “Hey Shizuo, you should go now”

 

Shizuo looked up from the baby “Huh?”

 

Tom smiled “Yeah. You won’t get anywhere with the infant if you’re here when the police are called. I’ll tell them what happened, no sense in both of us being here, as far as I can tell, the baby doesn’t even need to be mentioned, it’s not hurt is it?”

 

Shizuo looked the baby over, it was whinging, but it seemed fine. “Don’t think so”

 

Tom nodded and shrugged “So, take it with you, I just hope you know what you’re doing. Take the basket with you, think I saw some things you might need”

 

Shizuo smiled and retrieved the basket from the bathroom “Thanks Tom, I owe you” he said as he returned.

 

Tom waved a hand dismissively “Forget it. You’re probably right, anyway, shouldn’t give over the baby when we don’t know if that’ll make things worse”

 

Shizuo nodded and then smiled as he began to walk out of the room, he stopped then, glancing at the sheet that was covering the woman. “Don’t worry” he told her “The baby is safe”

 

Tom’s eyes softened as he watched Shizuo disappear into the corridor. He then looked down. “He’s right you know; no better man is capable of taking care of that baby then he is”

 

 

………………………………

 

Izaya stopped by a lamp post of the street he was walking on, finally, he was finished for the day. He’d met with several individuals throughout the morning, then spent the entire afternoon observing two men who seemingly ended up having nothing better to do then to try their luck with someone whom he himself knew very well. The two men he’d begun to follow hadn’t been part of his schedule, but the sudden description of someone being mentioned had him worried, and so he had tailed them all over the city. He praised himself on his amazing instincts, because the moment they made their move, his suspicions were correct, their sights were on Anri. Sure, Izaya knew Anri could take care of herself, but she was still a young teen. Izaya didn’t know why they were suddenly after her, he opted to find that out later, but for now, she was safe, because it hadn’t taken him long to mess with them enough to warn them off.

 

In fact, Izaya smirked at the memory, the moment they saw him, their whole persona changed. They knew who he was, and being a very famous information broker, they knew how dangerous he could be, but that wasn’t all, the moment they saw him, they instantly connected him with another famous dangerous individual- Shizuo Heiwajima. In the last few months, people in the city had gotten used to the fact that he and Shizuo were now officially a couple, it took a lot of time, but nonetheless, word got around. That was when a phrase began to become somewhat famous- ‘mess with Orihara, you mess with Heiwajima’ at times, Izaya was somewhat annoyed by this, because he still had a job to do, and even now, despite not breaking his promise, he still liked to mess with people. It was harder to do that nowadays, because the minute they saw him, they were either ready to run for the hills or give up whatever they were hiding very quickly, to which Izaya found extremely boring.

 

Other times, like the situation with Anri earlier, he really didn’t mind, two men were hardly a match for either of them. But who knows if anyone else lurked nearby, he didn’t want to put Anri in an unnecessary potentially dangerous situation. So knowing that he was now on to them, they would probably keep their distance, and Izaya didn’t mind if that was only because of Shizuo. Izaya sighed, it had been a long day, it was already dark and even after the whole incident with Anri, he hadn’t finished, because after that, he received a phone call from an unknown person. Honestly, he would have preferred to just go back to his workplace and relax a little, he still had other information he needed to email. He was curious about this one however, although, it did seem a little farfetched. The unknown person called him out of desperation it seemed, Izaya couldn’t help but think the man he spoke to was one that got the job done himself, and he somewhat admired that, so for him to call an informant like Izaya, the raven knew he wasn’t playing around. The information he got, was that somebody had kidnapped his child, maybe out of spite, or maybe for ransom-since he got the impression this man was something of importance.

 

The man couldn’t give him a description of the kidnapper obviously, but he gave him a few names that might have had something to do with it. So, Izaya spent most of the evening tracking those names and connecting them to all kinds of places, all except the one he was hoping for. In the end, none of the names the man had given him had led him any closer to finding out the kidnapper. He phoned the man back and questioned him about his work, but he only got vague descriptions about lawyers, it seemed possible, if the man was a lawyer, people might threaten his family if he’d sent dangerous people down. Izaya managed to get another name after probing a little more-Daijon Menton. _It sounds like the name of a condiment_ Izaya had thought with amusement. The name didn’t even sound Japanese. He opted to think from a kidnapper’s point of view, Ikebukuro was a large city, and if he were a kidnapper, he’d rather not hold someone in such obvious places. So after asking around one of the rougher areas of Ikebukuro, suspicious activity was mentioned by several locals which had led Izaya to a rather run-down looking apartment building.

 

Questioning some of those that lived nearby or within the building, he had discovered that a man and a woman were presumably residing in one of the rooms. That wasn’t the suspicious part, a week after they had been there, they had heard baby cries coming from the room. Izaya concluded that there was more then one kidnapper involved, he then spoke to an old woman that owned the corner shop across from the building. Izaya learned that a man fled the building in a hurry, a body had been discovered shortly after, and another man was seen leaving the scene- with a baby. Now, Izaya had no other leads to work with, seemingly had one dead kidnapper, one completely disappeared and the other who now was in possession of the child. Izaya was now back to square one, he was still no closer to finding the child and that building had been his best lead. Izaya phoned the man back to explain what he’d discovered; it was safe to say he wasn’t happy about it. Izaya told him that there were a few other resources he could check with, so he bought himself some time and would continue the search tomorrow. The search was difficult, since the child apparently wasn’t very old, not even half a year. So that left him no description to which he could ask people, the old woman couldn’t remember what the man whom had fled the scene looked like, and only caught barely glimpse of the one who had taken the baby.

 

It was already nine by now, he was tired, and rather annoyed that he hadn’t been able to stick to his schedule. He began to make his way home and then as luck would have it, a heavy rain pour began. “Terrific…” he wrapped his jacket around himself. “What a day…” his phone then rang, again. Frowning, Izaya stopped, taking shelter under a nearby shop sign. He looked at the caller ID. It was Shizuo, no doubt he was starting to worry. He answered with a slight smile. “I’m fine” he said immediately, getting straight to the point he knew Shizuo would ask. “I’m on my way home now- hm? Order whatever you like, I’m in no mood to cook anyway-I’ll just have some rice with a little soy sauce” Izaya rolled his eyes with amusement, Shizuo was such a worrier. “I know, but I’m fine, just a little- wet. I’ll be home soon- yes, you too” he then hung up, sighing as he shivered a little, the rain didn’t let up, in fact, it only got worse. “Ugh”

 

 

……………………….

 

Shizuo looked up from the table that he was currently setting out with cutlery, he heard the door open and close and smiled shyly as he lit two candles. Shizuo heard the sound of keys being thrown into the dish by the door and then Izaya shuffled into the kitchen. He was absolutely drenched, his hair sticking to his forehead as his fur coat clung to his thin frame. “Shit. I kind of told you it was suppose to rain” Shizuo told him, only to receive a glare from his partner.

 

“Well I had planned to be home already, but my day got screwed up. Don’t lecture me now, I’m fucking cold, I’m tired and-” it was then he noticed the table setting, and the candles, he smelt the aroma of the food that had still yet to be placed on plates. He then raised an eyebrow as he locked eyes with Shizuo. “What’s the occasion?”

 

Shizuo shrugged “Nothing. I just- sounded like you had a bad day on the phone, so I brought food like you asked, and wanted to make it- nice”

 

Shizuo was definitely the romantic one out of them both, however, there was being romantic and there was acting suspicious. Izaya knew the blond well enough by now, to know when he was either hiding something, or he’d done something that Izaya was most likely not going to like. “What did you do?”

 

Shizuo blinked up at him after pouring himself some wine. “Huh?”

 

Izaya sighed as he leaned against the door frame. “As much as this is nice. There’s something going on, spill it”

 

Shizuo shuffled his feet, suddenly not able to look Izaya in the face. “I uh- well…”

 

Izaya was about to say something else when a massive flash of lightening startled them, which was soon followed by a loud clap of thunder sounding through the apartment. “At least I made it home in time before that happened” Izaya turned around, heading for the stairs. “I’m going to get out of these clothes, I’d really rather not deal with a cold right now”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened and he ran out of the kitchen. “Izaya wait-” Shizuo would prefer to tell Izaya first, before he noticed. But another flash of lightening and an even louder roar of thunder, caused the very thing Shizuo was trying to tell him of, to begin screaming. Izaya froze mid-step on the stairs. Shizuo winced at the cry. Izaya turned to his partner, eyeing him suspiciously.

 

“Shizu-chan, what is that?”

 

Shizuo scratched the back of his head sheepishly “Damn it. I was going to tell you, stupid storm. It’s kind of a long story…”

 

Izaya narrowed his eyes and continued up the stairs, Shizuo followed after him. Izaya walked into their bedroom, and there in the middle of their bed, amongst a bunch of pillows so that it didn’t roll off the bed, confirmed the informant’s guess. “Shizu-chan?”

 

Shizuo stood in the doorway, trying his best to ignore the crying. Izaya was going to be pissed. “Yeah?”

 

“Why is there a baby on our bed?”

 

Shizuo walked into the room with a sigh. “There’s a really good explanation, I swear”

 

Izaya looked at him, cringing at the cries of the infant, damn it. “I’m all ears, but first, do something about that” Izaya pointed at the bed, he was already getting a headache, it didn’t help that he was still in his damp clothes. “I’m going to shower. Then we’re going to talk about this” Shizuo winced at Izaya’s tone, yeah, he was definitely not happy. Once Shizuo explained the situation, he was sure Izaya wouldn’t be so annoyed with him.

 

Izaya let out a sigh of relief as he stepped into the warm shower. The events of the day played through his mind, it had started out rather uneventful, but once the whole Anri scene happened, it just got more complicated. Coming home to then find out Shizuo had brought home a baby, of all things, not even a stray cat or something- a fricking baby. Izaya frowned then, a baby…. he had been searching for a baby, hadn’t he? Izaya shook his head. _No way, that’s just too much of a coincidence._

 

Izaya stepped out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist and a smaller towel around his neck. He looked over at Shizuo, who was still trying to calm down the baby, Izaya chuckled, it was honestly a rather amusing sight. He ignored them for the moment, opening up his draw and pulled out some shorts, he slipped into them quickly and then leaned against the wooden furniture. “Shizu-chan, it’s not a football”

 

Shizuo glared at him, but he was holding the baby at arm’s length. “I don’t want to hurt her”

 

Izaya raised an eyebrow “So it’s a girl” it struck him as odd now that he thought about it, the man didn’t even mention the gender of the child, then again, Izaya hadn’t asked.

 

“Y-yes…you know, had to change her…”

 

“How did you-” Izaya shook his head “Never mind”

 

Shizuo seemed to know what question Izaya had wanted to ask, “There were a few diapers in the basket”

 

Izaya blinked at him, he had so many questions floating around his head right now, but first things first. Izaya rolled his eyes and held his hands out, he needed to cease the crying. Shizuo seemed surprised as he handed Izaya the baby, Izaya took her into his arms and Shizuo watched him cradle her head and curl his other arm under her. He felt his heart skip a beat at the strange scene, he couldn’t help but smile, he knew the raven would know what to do. Izaya sat down on the bed and the baby finally stopped crying as she snuggled against Izaya’s bare chest. “Finally. I suppose Shizu-chan might be a little scary to a small human like yourself hm?”

 

Shizuo snorted “Oi shut up, the storm probably scared her”

 

Izaya chuckled in response “I’m kidding”

 

“Tch” Izaya realised the baby had calmed down enough that she’d fallen back to sleep. Izaya shifted carefully and placed her back in the makeshift nest of pillows. Shizuo smiled. “You’re kind of a natural, you know that?”

 

Izaya glared at him and stood up, shoving the blond toward the door. “Don’t even- out” they made their way back down the stairs, and into the kitchen, the baby’s cry was loud enough so they knew they’d be able to hear it. The two sat down at the table opposite one another. “Talk. Now”

 

Shizuo winced again at Izaya’s tone, he felt like he was being scolded by one of his parents. He took a deep breath, and suddenly the image of that woman flashed through his mind and he blanked. He lowered his head and threaded his hands through his hair, damn it, if only he’d gotten there sooner, if only he’d stayed…. His hands started to shake with anger, and he slammed his fist on the table, almost knocking the candles over.

 

Izaya flinched, he blew out the candles, just in case, and his narrowed eyes turned soft for a moment, he stood up and knelt beside him. “Shizu-chan….” Izaya wasn’t very good at comforting people, least of all Shizuo, heh, usually it was the other way around. After all, Izaya was always getting himself into ridiculous situations, and while being stubborn about it, saying things like he was fine, Shizuo would comfort him in the end. This time it seemed, it was Shizuo that needed him, and quite frankly, it kind of scared him. What exactly had happened to make the blond act this way? “Shizu-chan” he tried again and placed his hand on his thigh. “Talk to me” he tried to chuckle, something to lighten the mood. “I know I’m not very good at comfort but-” Shizuo suddenly turned around and wrapped his arms around the informant. Izaya let out a squeak of surprise and the weight of Shizuo leaning forward caused them both to almost topple. Shizuo slid off the chair but didn’t let go, now they were both just, sitting on the floor. Finally, Izaya moved his arms and wrapped them around Shizuo’s broad back, he could now feel how shaken the blond was. “Hey. Shizuo, what happened? Just talk to me”

 

Shizuo’s eyes suddenly snapped open, blinking as he realised what he was doing, he pulled away, slightly embarrassed. “Shit. Sorry. Didn’t mean to get that way”

 

Izaya smiled a little, it was actually kind of nice, for him to do the comforting for once. Not that he would want Shizuo to ever feel this way in the first place. “Makes a change ne?”

 

Shizuo huffed a laugh, swiping a hand through his hair. “Shut up” Izaya stood and held his hand out, Shizuo’s cheeks tinted red and he took the offered hand and they stood up. “Sorry”

 

Izaya pulled on his hand and dragged him into the living room. “Come on” they were both now sat on the couch. “Tell me what happened”

 

With another shuddery breath, he started to talk, he was calmer now; it seemed Izaya was better at the comforting act then he realised. Izaya listened to his every word, the more he spoke, the more he began to piece things together in his head, honestly, how could this have been so convenient? Once Shizuo was done, Izaya sat back, of all the accidental mishaps- the very baby he was looking for, was the same one that was currently in his bedroom, brought home by none other then his partner. Did that make a total of two kidnappers, or three? He knew that Shizuo wouldn’t outright kidnap a child, but from what the neighbours had seen, one dead, one fled out of the window, one fled with the child. There was obviously a misunderstanding here on Shizuo’s part, ignoring the fact that they had gone to the room to collect debt-it wasn’t the first time that their own ‘clients’ and those that linked to Izaya’s had crossed paths. He didn’t understand one thing, if they really were kidnapping the child for ransom, then why the hell borrow money? Unless, they did it to pay the debt back? Gaining a lot more afterwards, made sense. Back to the number of kidnappers, now that he knew that Shizuo had been the one to leave the scene with the baby, that added a total of two, he would hardly count Shizuo. One dead, one fleeing the scene, but all he needed was the child, and he found her, the man didn’t need to know who the kidnappers were, since that old woman couldn’t even remember what the other one looked like anyway. He never found out whether it was that Daijon Menton the guy mentioned or not-it didn’t matter, because he had completed the job. Izaya would make up some story about finding the apartment, causing the man to flee the scene in horror at being discovered and evidently, leaving the baby behind. He’d buy that right? After all, it wasn’t exactly a lie, now was it? Just that it was Shizuo to find the kidnapper, not him.

 

“Izaya?” Izaya blinked, realising he must have zoned out rather a long time.

 

Izaya chuckled “Sorry. I was piecing things together”

 

Shizuo frowned “Not exactly a funny situation”

 

Izaya sighed, he could imagine how guilty Shizuo must have felt about the woman, he was determined to put an end to that. “I wasn’t insinuating it was. It’s all right Shizu-chan. Rest assured that this whole thing was not your fault, and it was very much a misunderstanding”

 

Shizuo’s frowning expression disappeared, to be replaced by a confused one. “What?”

 

“Ok. this is going to sound oddly coincidental at first, but bear with me, it’ll make sense once I’ve finished explaining”

 

…………………………….

 

Shizuo sat there, completely at a loss for words, what he heard couldn’t be right could it? He could not have misinterpreted the situation that much, could he? Was Izaya really telling him, that the man _and_ the woman, were both kidnappers of that baby? Seriously? Shizuo shook his head, no way, that couldn’t be true. “You’re wrong Izaya”

 

Izaya raised an eyebrow, he actually laughed, his explanation was spot on, it cleared up the whole thing, surely Shizuo could see that? “Excuse me?”

 

Shizuo snorted “Yeah. I know you’re usually right, so don’t let that knock you off that high horse of yours”

 

Izaya blinked, whoa, that was a little- harsh. Damn, the blond looked kind of- pissed. “Ouch” he wasn’t sure what to say to that, Shizuo wasn’t usually that snarky with him. He then frowned, now _he_ was pissed, how dare he- “All right. Tell me why I’m wrong”

 

Shizuo seemed to shut his mouth, Izaya knew damn well he wasn’t good with words like him. “You weren’t there”

 

Izaya tilted his head “Right. That cleared that up, I believe you now”

 

Shizuo glared at him “I’m not finished!!”

 

Izaya glared back, they were raising their voices now?  “Fine. Enlighten me some more, oh barer of words” if Shizuo wanted to get snarky, then he could give it back just as much, if not more.

 

Shizuo clenched his fists and stood up, he so had to walk away now. He took a deep breath to calm down. Izaya watched him walk toward the door and then back again, gripping the back of the couch. “Don’t talk down to me”

 

Izaya raised an eyebrow “I wasn’t”

 

“You-”

 

“You started it, I wasn’t intentionally degrading you, I was simply snapping back to your first comment” Izaya smirked a little “Or maybe I was too high up on my horse for you to hear right”

 

Shizuo faltered, oh, he sighed and slumped, his anger fading a little. He didn’t realise how his words might have affected Izaya, most people wouldn’t know it, but words cut him deeper than any wound could. Shizuo knew for a fact, as well as that, Izaya didn’t like being yelled at. “Sorry…”

 

Izaya looked away, embarrassed at being discovered, damn, Shizuo knew him too well. “Whatever” Shizuo then walked around to the couch and slumped back into the seat, arms dangling over his knees as he leaned forward.

 

“I don’t want to argue like this”

 

Izaya turned to him, Shizuo’s words forgotten. “Look, I’m not saying I don’t want to believe you, the information from both sides just fit too well. Can you think of anything else? Something that might throw it off?”

 

Shizuo looked up at him, well, at least Izaya wasn’t completely dismissing his instincts. “I’m trying. All I keep seeing is that woman…”

 

Izaya shifted closer to him. “Don’t think about that right now. Go back to the beginning, what about the apartment? What did that look like?”

 

Shizuo frowned “Well. It wasn’t really an apartment, just a room, a mattress with some sheets thrown in a corner, and a bathroom, no furniture at all, except for a chair” Izaya hummed and Shizuo sighed “All right. I know that sounds bad. Like the kind of place one would take a person they kidnapped”

 

“Quite true. But there are many other places you could take someone. But since we’re talking about a baby, a small room like that would be sufficient. Anyway, what else do you remember?”

 

“She was Russian”

 

Izaya blinked, he didn’t think that was something Shizuo would forget, but then again, he wasn’t really thinking straight right now. “I’m guessing she didn’t understand you?”

 

“Not a bit. She looked, so confused, Tom and I wondered just how the hell she even got the money, our boss doesn’t speak Russian, and neither do those we work with”

 

“The second guy is starting to make more sense isn’t it?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“A second kidnapper. He was obviously the main speaker of the two, he probably borrowed the money before, the child being kidnapped was to get ransom money”

 

“Your guy tell you that?”

 

“Not specifically, he doesn’t know the reason behind why someone would kidnap his child, but he is a lawyer-at least that’s what I got from the information he told me, so a ransom would fit”

 

Shizuo shook his head, not wanting to believe it, but what Izaya said, seemed to be making more sense. “Something was wrong, I know it was”

 

“Yes. The baby was kidnapped, you saved her”

 

“No. that woman, she wasn’t a kidnapper”

 

Izaya sighed “Shizu-chan, how can you be so sure? You can’t always rely on that instinct of yours, sometimes, facts need to be made”

 

Shizuo growled “Why!? It’s always worked before; they’ve never failed me”

 

Izaya smiled “Even if that’s true. Just like me, there will come a time when you’re wrong, I was wrong about that stalker after all”

 

Shizuo clenched his fists “Fuck!”

 

“If you can’t remember anything else, then I don’t have any choice but to return the baby to her father tomorrow. I won’t tell him about you obviously, I already have a story in mind as to how I found her. Unless you want me to tell him that you rescued her? He might give you a nice reward, he is rich you know” Shizuo glared at him, Izaya chuckled. “Relax, I was kidding about that last part, your involvement doesn’t need to be mentioned”

 

“I don’t give a flying fuck what you tell him! I’m telling you; something isn’t right!”

 

Izaya narrowed his eyes, Shizuo was really adamant, wasn’t he? He’d really like to believe him, he really would. “Calm down-” and then there was a faint whinge before it turned into an all-out cry. Izaya tilted his head in agitation. “Now look what you did”

 

Shizuo scowled, and then sighed, great, he woke the baby. “Sorry”

 

Izaya didn’t intend on moving, he looked over at Shizuo “Off you go then, it’s your fault she woke up, you can’t blame that one on the storm”

 

It was then Shizuo realised, that indeed the storm had stopped, how long had they been talking? Or rather, arguing. He got up from the couch, and made his way up the stairs, he had no idea how to comfort this baby. Izaya seemed to know exactly what he was doing, the image of him holding her, still warmed his chest, he didn’t think he’d ever see that side of the informant.

 

Izaya leaned back on the couch, fishing his phone out from his pocket. He opened up a new conversation with the unknown number from earlier in the day. His thumb hovered over the keys, hesitating, what if Shizuo was right? If he sent a text to the man, telling him he found his daughter and that she was safe, what if that was really putting her in real danger? Heck, the guy hadn’t even revealed his own name! then again, he was a lawyer, if people were out to get him, he wouldn’t reveal his name either. But he didn’t have anything else to work with, everything about what he found out, was and seemed legit. He didn’t have time to start a search on this guy, the man wanted the result tomorrow, if he started to stall, the man would surely get suspicious. His thumb began typing on the keys quickly. :I have good news. Your daughter-: actually, scrap that, Izaya deleted the word and wrote instead :Your baby is safe, where shall I meet you?:

 

As expected, it didn’t take long for him to reply :That’s fantastic! Thank you, I owe you! please, meet me on green street, there’s an office building in between a block of apartments, make a left and you’ll see the entrance behind. It’s a little secluded, I like my privacy. Given how you saved my daughter, we wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you, so it’ll be a good place to meet:

 

Somehow, the way the man said that, made him uneasy. He shook it off, confirming that the baby was a girl, only managed to side with Izaya. For some reason, he hoped that Shizuo had been right. Speaking of, Izaya noticed the crying had actually stopped, he smiled in amusement, he had to see for himself just how Shizuo had gotten the baby to stop fussing. He made his way up the stairs and silently stood in the doorway. Shizuo was singing! Holding the baby in the way Izaya had shown him, and he was singing. As gruff as his voice usually was, it sounded way gentler now. Izaya smiled, who knew? His smiled then faded when he realised what lullaby Shizuo was singing away to. He then let out a light chuckle, almost startling the blond. Shizuo turned around, indeed the baby was asleep now, but that was more amusing. Shizuo blushed. “How- how long have you been standing there?”

 

“Long enough. Who knew you could sing?”

 

Shizuo blushed harder “Shut up. I can’t sing. I just, all babies like lullaby’s, even I know that”

 

Izaya walked into the room “True, but you do realise that lullaby is about a girl comforting herself, singing about her miserable situation? She was forcibly sent away to work for a rich family at a village across the mountain. As she works for the family with a baby on her back, she is reminded of her own family, looking at the silhouette of the mountains in the direction of her homeland”

 

Shizuo’s face was priceless! “The hell?”

 

Izaya laughed “Its true. It’s an old real story”

 

“Who the hell would sing that to a child?”

 

Izaya tilted his head “You just did”

 

Shizuo shut up and then snorted “Only because I didn’t know what the hell I was even singing about”

 

Izaya chuckled “I don’t think it was really intended to be a child’s lullaby when it was made”

 

“How did you know about that anyway? D’you look up information about lullaby’s as a kid or something?”

 

Izaya shrugged, watching Shizuo gently place the child back on the bed. “I had two little sisters. I didn’t want to creep them out”

 

Shizuo blinked at him, he’d been joking, did Izaya really- “Seriously? You actually researched lullaby’s? weren’t you like- nine?”

 

“Old enough to understand. I may not have gotten along with them much after high school, but I didn’t want to unnecessarily frighten them, they were infants once” Shizuo smiled and walked toward the raven, who narrowed his eyes “What?”

 

Shizuo wrapped his arms around Izaya’s waist. “What a softy”

 

Izaya tried to shove him off “Ah. Shut up. Don’t make fun, Shizu-chan, it’s not nice”

 

Shizuo chuckled “I’m not. I was just surprised is all”

 

Izaya pouted “I wasn’t always an asshole, you know”

 

Shizuo smiled again “I know that, I’m still surprised though. Maybe information really was your calling huh?”

 

Izaya smiled then “Maybe”

 

“So what else?”

 

“What?”

 

“What other lullabies are creepy?”

 

Izaya shrugged “Practically all of them, in my opinion. Especially rock-a-bye baby, or something like that”

 

Shizuo seemed shocked “What’s wrong with that?”

 

Izaya laughed, Shizuo really didn’t read much into anything. “Shizu-chan, come on, think about the words ok?” Shizuo nodded, as if he was really expecting Izaya to actually say the whole lullaby. “Seriously?” Shizuo was still waiting, Izaya sighed, what a weird conversation, however, it seemed to lighten the mood from their previous one, so he didn’t mind much. “All right, listen. ‘Rock-a-bye baby, in the tree top’- first of all, why the hell is a baby in the tree- ‘when the wind blows the cradle will rock’- and now there’s a cradle, no question as to why- ‘when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall’- now that should be obvious to anyone, but what kind of sick human would allow that to even happen? ‘and down will come baby, cradle and all’- so basically, at the end of this lullaby the baby dies, that’s suppose to comfort them? Like, all the while, the baby is probably thinking, oh, shit, they’re going to leave me in a tree and I’m going to die. I mean, really” Shizuo didn’t have a clue what to say, he’d never heard such a vivid description of a simple lullaby before, every detail well thought out. But Izaya was definitely right though, had no one thought of the implications of the song as they sung it to their baby? Shizuo had to chuckle, Izaya seemed so offended by the very idea of that rhyme.

 

“You ok?”

 

Izaya frowned and realised he’d actually gotten worked up over a damn nursery rhyme, he blushed a little. “Shut up. Do you get it now at least?”

 

“Yeah. I know what you mean. So what did you sing?”

 

Izaya shook his head “I gave up on finding one that didn’t sound creepy, or ridiculous. So I read to them most times”

 

“And you didn’t find anything creepy in children’s books?”

 

“Even back then, I was good with words. So I made them up. Nothing about false impressions of the world, I didn’t want them to think it was all happy and bright”

 

Shizuo snorted “How blunt of you”

 

Izaya pouted “I wasn’t finished. I didn’t want them to think the world was all doom and gloom either. I wanted them to know that there were monsters out there, real ones. But, at the same time, some monsters could be misunderstood-” Izaya’s eyes widened as he realised what he had said. Shit. “Forget that”

 

Shizuo raised an eyebrow “Meaning?”

 

“Nothing! Forget I said anything”

 

Shizuo smiled, when they first met, that would only make the girls around six, right? Old enough to understand a story, young enough to be told one. “Izaya- were you, were telling them about me?”

 

Izaya looked away, quickly covering his face, how embarrassing! “No…”

 

Shizuo grabbed his wrist, pulling his hands away from his face. “You actually were”

 

Izaya shoved him “Shut up” embarrassed to be found out, and since Shizuo was holding his hands now. He hid his face against Shizuo’s chest. “It’s not what you think. I just- I knew at some point you’d probably know of them, and most likely get to know them as they grew up. You hated me, but I didn’t want you to hate them too, or even the other way around. I thought, that if you liked them at least, then it’d make me feel comfortable knowing that if they got in trouble, that you’d protect them”

 

Shizuo was absolutely dumbfounded. Was that why he always felt a little protective over them? Why he never seemed to hate them as he used to with Izaya? Izaya had really pushed that into their minds? That even though he was always angry and throwing things, they weren’t to be scared of him, but to treat him like normal? To like him. Izaya had really done that, even though they hated each other. “I never knew that. Why didn’t they tell me? It might have changed my opinion of you a lot quicker”

 

Izaya smiled up at him “I told them not to. I didn’t think it’d make much of a difference. By the time I left high school, I got involved with the Awakusu and we didn’t talk much after that. Besides, I’d framed you just after, so I doubt you would have believed them anyway”

 

Shizuo sighed, man, they really had fucked up all those years, hadn’t they? “I guess not”

 

Izaya wrapped his arms around Shizuo’s neck. His embarrassment forgotten. “It doesn’t really matter now ne? whatever happened before, seems like it was meant to happen”

 

Shizuo didn’t reply and simply pressed his lips against Izaya’s. Izaya moaned softly, his hand coming to rest on Shizuo’s arm, while the other remained around his neck. They soon broke away at the sound of a cry. “Your turn” Shizuo grinned

 

Izaya rolled his eyes “You’re the one that brought her here, this is your problem, I’m still hungry, so I’m going back downstairs to eat. Come down when you’ve gotten the baby back to sleep” Shizuo looked at him, Izaya moved toward the door, the raven wasn’t kidding.

 

“Izaya-”

 

Gone. Shizuo glared at the empty doorway. He then looked at the flailing baby on the bed, what had he gotten himself into? It was harder than it looked.

 

…………………………

 

Izaya had eaten his rice and placed the other food containers in the fridge. Shizuo hadn’t come down, but he couldn’t hear the baby cry either, so he assumed that Shizuo had fallen asleep with her. He turned off all the lights, checked the locks and then made his way up the stairs quietly. As he walked into the bedroom, his thoughts were confirmed, the bed was lit only by the lamp on the nightstand. Shizuo was lying on top of the covers, still in his clothes, sleeping with a slight frown on his face, yet the baby was safely tucked into his arm, clutching at his shirt as she slept. Izaya simply stared at them, how could Shizuo even think that he’d hurt her? Even by accident? Sudden guilt crashed into him; he still hadn’t told Shizuo that he’d sent the text. He wanted to believe Shizuo was right, he really did, but it just simply wasn’t the case. Izaya got into the bed, very carefully, he didn’t want to wake either of them now. He glanced at the clock on his side, damn, how was it that late already? In just a few hours, he’d have to get up again. Now that he’d gotten into bed, he really was exhausted, the whole day had been weird. He was used to working to that extent, but still, he usually gave himself a little break in between. He wondered if he should have told Shizuo about those men after Anri, nah, it wasn’t relevant, and he’d only worry anyway.

 

Thoughts went back to the kidnapping. No matter how he played over the information, he couldn’t come up with anything different. Izaya closed his eyes, he needed to sleep, he sighed; the moment he closed them to finally rest, the baby decided to cry. _Ugh. What did I do to deserve this?_

………………………

 

Neither Shizuo nor Izaya were very talkative when they woke up. Their sleep had been interrupted rather a lot, and they were simply avoiding unnecessary arguments. After showering, coffee made, coffee half drank, twenty minutes trying to figure out how to mix the formula that was also conveniently left in the basket, and Izaya explaining that they simply couldn’t just give the baby their own milk, they were a little more themselves. Izaya had told him about the text, Shizuo still wasn’t happy about it, and avoided talking more about it. Izaya was annoyed by that, he was going to try and ask him more about what happened at the apartment, whether he could remember anything the woman said, whether it was in Russian or not, _he’d_ understand it. But no, as it were, Shizuo wanted to stay mute, and so, Izaya didn’t say anything else. Izaya glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall, he finished his coffee and then stood up. “I have to go. Do you have work today?”

 

Nothing.

 

“Ignoring me now? That’s kind of childish, don’t you think?”

 

Nothing.

 

Izaya sighed, he then picked up the basket that the baby had been placed into. At least she wasn’t crying at the moment. “I’ll see you soon”

 

He was about to walk out of the room when Shizuo finally spoke. “Please Izaya. Please don’t take her back”

 

Izaya stopped and looked over at him, Shizuo wasn’t looking at him, but he looked so defeated. “Shizu-chan. What else do you want me to do? You can’t give me anything else about what happened yesterday, all the information fits. I-”

 

“Stall him”

 

Izaya frowned “I can’t. I already told him I have his child”

 

“What about Satoshi? Maybe he can help?”

 

“I can’t call him either”

 

“Why not? You know he’d help you in a heartbeat”

 

And wasn’t that the truth. “That’s not the problem. I can’t call him because he’s working. He’s undercover right now, something about black markets or trafficking. He wouldn’t give much on the details, he said he would have asked for my help, but he couldn’t unless I agreed to work for him. We both know that’s not going to happen. If I call him, I might blow his cover”

 

Shizuo frowned, he didn’t know that. “Shit. Don’t do that then, I guess”

 

“Do you remember anything else?”

  
Shizuo gripped his hair out of frustration. “I’m trying. There’s something the woman said before she- but I can’t remember what it was. It was in fucking Russian”

 

“Not anything? A word? A name?”

 

Shizuo looked up then “Yeah. A name. ah, but I can’t even remember that…”

 

Izaya sympathised with him, Shizuo was really bad with names. Maybe, if he said a name that the man had given him…. “Was it Daijon Menton?”

 

Shizuo blinked, now _that_ he would have remembered. “No. I might have remembered that. Sounds like a condiment”

 

Izaya chuckled _great minds think alike_ he thought. He reeled off the other names, but Shizuo just shook his head. That was his last effort if Shizuo couldn’t remember any of what the woman said, then it left him no choice. Izaya sighed. “I have to go. I can’t leave this any longer”

 

Shizuo clenched his fists, but he nodded. “Yeah…” he watched Izaya leave the kitchen, hoping beyond hope, that he really was wrong.

 

………………………..

 

Izaya walked down green street, baby in the basket dangling in his hand. He ignored the looks people gave him, who knew just what they were thinking, he imagined a lot of rumours were going to be heard tomorrow. Things like ‘did you see Orihara? He had a baby with him’ ‘I didn’t think gay couples were allowed adopt’ Izaya snorted at his own thoughts, that sounded just about right. He turned off the street and spotted what he was looking for. The office building, in between a block of apartments, the man wasn’t kidding when he said it was secluded, if he hadn’t of told him that it was an office, Izaya wouldn’t have glanced twice at it. He tilted his head to the side. “Make a left, and you’ll see the entrance” he muttered to himself. “Some entrance” Izaya indeed turned left, yet all that was within that space was a door. Was this really his office? He had thought a big shot lawyer would be located somewhere a lot more, fancier. Izaya entered through the door, it was a lot bigger on the inside though. The floors were tiled and the walls wooden, a fountain stood in the middle and Izaya couldn’t help but think just how cliché that really was.

 

“Are you Mr Orihara?”

 

Izaya was startled by the sudden voice, he looked to his left, realising there was a desk along the wall, a tall black-haired woman stood behind it, dressed in a black suit. “Yes?”

 

She smiled at him, but Izaya couldn’t help but think it was forced. “Mr Korito Sato will be right down, he’s expecting you”

 

 _Obviously_ placing the basket on the floor next to his feet, he pulled out his phone, wondering if the name the woman just mentioned had been the one Shizuo was trying to remember. :Korito Sato? xx: Shizuo was quick enough to reply

 

:Yes!: another message came through quickly after :xx:

 

Izaya was somewhat surprised, he hadn’t really thought it would be, he then chuckled at the last message :I’m at the building now, waiting on this guy, the name mentioned turned out to be the father xx:

 

:Seems sketchy. Why would her last words be about the father of the child she kidnapped? xx:

 

Izaya rolled his eyes. :Famous last words Shizu-chan xx:

 

:Yeah. Except I didn’t understand what she said xx:

 

:Have you thought about asking Tom-san? Maybe he remembers xx:

 

:Good idea! And be careful xx:

 

Izaya had intended that to be a joke. After all, it was a little too late now. He shook his head before sending a final reply.  :I always am. Be back soon xx:

 

The elevator in front of him pinged and Izaya turned his full attention on it. His body tensed, but not because of the man he was suppose to meet, it was because of the man of whom Sato was with. Izaya’s heart began beating fast. _Shit, shit_ he tried not to give away that he knew who the other man was, judging by his surprise, he hadn’t expected him to be here either.

 

“So sorry to keep you. where’s my little girl!?” Sato smiled gleefully, Izaya snapped out of it, looking down at the baby in the basket. “I owe you so much!”

 

Izaya tried to contain his shook, even his fucking hands were shaking as he reached into the basket to retrieve the child. The baby fussed a little but began babbling away. He turned to the man, holding the baby close to him, trying his best not to look at the other one standing behind. “It’s nothing. Really” Izaya hoped his voice didn’t crack just then. He glanced around, the exit was behind him, so there was that. This whole situation just became completely unravelled; he’d been wrong right? So wrong…. Damn, he really wished he’d gotten Shizuo to come with him.

 

……………………..

 

Shizuo paced in the apartment, he was anxious, he was so fucking anxious. “Damn it! I should have gone with him”

 

………………………..

 

Izaya stared at Sato, the man was holding his arms up, ready to retrieve the baby. Izaya’s heartbeat quickened again, what should he do? He still didn’t know what was going on….what if the baby really was his regardless? Suddenly, the elevator pinged again, and two more men stepped out. Sato turned to them in anger. “I thought I told you to wait!?”

 

“Sorry sir, but he escaped…” one of them said

 

“What!? How!?”

 

“He got free of the ropes!”

 

“God damn it”

 

Izaya was too shocked to move. These men….he recognised these men. _They’re, they’re the ones who were after Anri…_ Izaya swallowed the lump in his throat. If they recognised him now, he was screwed. He tried to hide his face, but realised it wouldn’t do any good, no matter what, they’d know him instantly. He held the baby tighter.

 

_“That’s not the problem. I can’t call him because he’s working. He’s undercover right now, something about black markets or trafficking. He wouldn’t give much on the details, he said he would have asked for my help, but he couldn’t unless I agreed to work for him. We both know that’s not going to happen. If I call him, I might blow his cover”_

Izaya’s eyes widened then. _Satoshi, black markets, trafficking….Anri, the woman…._ He looked down at the baby, if the woman really was dead, then the next best one was- he thought he was going to throw up. He glanced back up at the men in front of him, daring a quick glance at Satoshi, but the man couldn’t give himself away, Izaya wouldn’t ask him to.

 

Sato smiled “I really don’t know how to thank you” he held his arms out further, stepping closer. “You can give her to me now. Be rest assured, I know she’s safe”

 

Izaya took one step back, he glanced at the men, why weren’t they saying anything? Had they forgotten? Or maybe they just didn’t want to admit that they screwed up because of him? “It’s clear you’re not a lawyer” oh god, why had he just asked that? This was no time for his games. He had a fricking baby in his arms.

 

Sato blinked and looked round, then he laughed “Oh that? Nah, we were talking about a game. I play games in my free time, it relaxes me. Right?” the men nod as an answer, but Izaya couldn’t help but notice those glares were directed at him. “It’s all right. I just want to see my daughter now”

 

Izaya took another step back, his eyes counting the men in front of him. Excluding Satoshi, there were four- Izaya then glanced toward the gap at the back, seemingly the staircase, he grimaced- make that six. _Shit._

 

“Come on. Hand over my daughter”

 

Another step back. Izaya narrowed his eyes. “No” a sudden vibrate against his leg, told him he had a message. He was hardly in a position to answer it now.

 

Sato glared at him then, his smile disappearing, showing his true self. “Don’t be stupid, just had her over, and leave”

 

Izaya held the baby close, would he be able to make a run for it? What if they had weapons? Weapons! He had a weapon! Izaya slowly reached inside his pocket as Sato got closer.

 

Satoshi’s eyes widened, seemingly knowing what Izaya was reaching for, the informant couldn’t be that risky? Didn’t he think these guys might have guns? Satoshi knew they had, but Izaya…. He frowned, he wouldn’t stand here and not do anything to help, no matter what he was suppose to be doing. He suddenly yelled. “It’s a smoke bomb!”

 

Izaya stopped his movements, he looked at Satoshi, the man ran at him and all of a sudden, a can of some kind was dropped and the whole room was filled with smoke. Izaya clenched his eyes shut and took the opportunity to run back through the door. Once outside, he coughed considerably, his eyes watering a little, he looked down at the baby. She seemed fine, but she was starting to cry. He coughed again and took the first turn, had his sight been a hundred percent, he’d have realised that he had taken the wrong one.

 

Izaya stared at his surroundings, suddenly noticing that he wasn’t already back on the street. He spun around when he heard voices behind him, he ran down the next turn and stopped behind the wall when he realized he couldn’t run any further, it was a dead end.

 

Izaya could hear voices in the near distance behind him, shouting. He pressed himself closer behind the wall of the office building, there was a total of six men, Izaya was confident he could take them down if necessary, maybe. Or at the very least, he could cause enough distraction in order to lose them. However; Izaya looked down at the bundle in his arms, whatever he could have done was annulled by the small problem that lie safely tucked within his grasp. He furrowed his eyebrows, honestly, he hated it when Shizuo was right.


	2. Rescue part 2

The voices were getting closer, which meant that he was running out of time, there would be no hiding from them, he covered the baby’s head with his jacket. Her cries were muffled, but not enough to stop them from hearing it. “Just hand over the brat and everything will be over!” he heard one of them shout, probably Sato. Izaya looked to his right, there was a few jagged edges to which he could heave himself up onto the large bin beside him, he then looked up, wondering if it was a good idea to risk the roof.

 

The baby whined and Izaya smiled lightly “No. probably not a good idea, you’re right” he whispered, as if the child had answered his mind’s question. An idea suddenly sprung to mind, maybe, maybe he could draw them away? Enough to circle back. But he needed to hide the baby for a moment first. “Don’t be afraid little human” Izaya soothed as he shifted her and nudged the bin forward, he took off his jacket and bundled her up inside it, he reached for his knife and his phone. For a moment, he hesitated, if they found her- he’d never get her back. He clicked the record button for a moment while she cried and fussed as he placed her behind the bin, as hidden as possible. “It’s ok. I’ll be back, I promise. I won’t let them snatch you away” stopping his phone, he pulled the bin back to shield her more, he took the blanket she had been in and wrapped it around a couple of bricks. He looked down at her, she seemed to stop crying for a few seconds, staring at him. “I won’t leave you here. I will come back, just gotta deal with these idiots first ne?” Izaya smiled at her, pulling the bricks close to him and then ran in the opposite direction.

 

He half wondered whether it might have been better to create the decoy the other way, simply by placing the phone behind the bin and making a run for it. The idea of it however, sounded worse, if he got caught anyway, who knows what they might have done. This way, he knew they’d more then likely follow him if they _believed_ he had the baby with him. He ran behind the opposite building and then he heard shouts of protest and calls to ‘get him’ ‘don’t let him escape’ he could hear footsteps running behind him and he dived into a smaller alleyway. He backed up until his back touched something solid, he cursed when he felt brick behind him. Two men grinned at him as they made their way into the alley he was situated in.

 

“Hand the baby over, it’s not you we want, I’m sure you want to be rid of that crying pest. We’ll be happy to take the brat and you can get away; no harm done”

 

Izaya snorted and pulled the ‘baby’ close to him. “If you really want her, come and take her” his heart was beating a mile a minute as they closed in on him, from what he could tell, there were no weapons on them. The second they were near enough, he swung the blanket, shouting “Take her!” and clocked the first one over the head, the man fell without any trouble, knocked clean out. Izaya span around, and before the other could try anything, he swung the blanket again, smashing the bricks-splitting them in half, into the bulky idiot’s face. Izaya sighed in relief when he too fell unconscious. “Two down” he whispered.

 

Izaya then jumped up onto the railing beside him and ascended a set of fire escape steps. He made it to the low roof and ran over to the other side, looking down, he spotted the two from before, the one’s after Anri. He pulled his phone out and clicked the play button, leaving it beside the wall and then hid himself. The two look up and soon began climbing the fire escape below with a cry of “It’s the baby! He’s up here!”

 

Izaya grinned, yes it was true, he was up here, the baby wasn’t. Izaya shuffled backwards as the two men made it to the roof and began scouting around quickly. His fingers brushed against something cold and he looked down to see a crowbar. _Perfect_ he thought. If he could help it, he’d rather not use his knife, that would mean engaging in a lot closer combat, which could prove more dangerous. Izaya wanted to get out of here quick, he couldn’t take more unnecessary risks then he already was. He almost laughed as the confusion set in on the two men’s faces, they soon spotted the real source of the baby cry.

 

“Fuck! He’s messing with us!” one of them said as he picked up the cell phone.

 

“Damn. He’s smart, no wonder we had trouble with him before” Izaya waited until they were directly in front of him but turned enough so that he wouldn’t be spotted. “Where the fuck is he? He can’t be too far if he has that baby”

 

 _So naïve_ Izaya thought with a smirk and then hopped out of his hiding place and swung the bar as hard as he could over one of their heads. The man went down easily enough, Izaya then sidestepped as the last swung for him, he laughed and then ducked a kick, he sprang up and smacked the other upside the head. “Four down…” he breathed. “That just leaves that shit Sato and-” Izaya was interrupted by the sound of a gunshot hitting the ground, he flinched and looked up. “Shit” his eyes widened as he watched the man approach him at running speed, raising the gun to shoot again. Izaya doubled back and ran behind where he’d been previously hiding, two shots rang out and he knew they’d alert Sato to their location. Izaya dared a glance, poking his head just enough to see the man almost beside him. Izaya shuffled around the wall just as his chaser appeared, he watched the man frown and carry on walking around. Izaya couldn’t risk making a run for it, he needed to knock him out, he heard footsteps and dashed round the wall, quickly picking up his fallen crowbar.

 

A click was heard all too loudly, just mere centimetres from his head, his hand shook as he tightened his grip around the bar. “Where’s the baby?” Izaya didn’t answer, he just kept crouched on the floor, hoping the man hadn’t noticed what was in his grip. “Stand up, slowly” Izaya moved the bar in front as he stood up, this had to go right, if his aim was off- well, he’d rather not get shot in the head. “Where is she?” the man growled low in his throat and Izaya heard him approach closer. “What are you hiding? Show it to me!”

 

“With pleasure” at speed that made him a little dizzy, he swung the bar as quickly as he could, giving no time for the man to pull the trigger. Izaya heard the crack as the bar collided with the man’s skull, earning a scream of agony as the man dropped to the floor. Izaya dropped the metal as pain shot up his arm. “Ah!” he gripped his right arm with a hiss and then moved his hand away when he felt wetness. Blood. Had he been shot? He was sure the gun didn’t go off when he swung the weapon. “When…” then he realised. Two shots had fired hadn’t they? Back when the man had started to chase him. He couldn’t remember even feeling it; likely though, it had caught his arm and the pressure from hitting the other man caused it to worsen. “Damn it” there was nothing he could do about it right now, ignoring the pain, he made his way down the fire escape. He had no idea where Sato was, but he didn’t care, his next move was to get the baby and run!

 

Izaya checked his surroundings after he’d jumped from the ladder, he couldn’t see anyone else that was pursuing him. His eyes locked onto the alley way across from him, just a bit further and he’d be there. “I’m coming” he whispered, as if the baby could hear him. He ran across the distance, and just as he was about to turn the corner he froze when he spotted him at the corner of his eye. Sato grinned at him, Izaya noticed that the baby wasn’t with him though. _Good, he hasn’t found her yet._

“I really do appreciate your help in this matter broker” Izaya glared at him, stepping back, not taking his eyes off him “Which is why I’d hate to have to kill you. So tell me where you’re hiding her”

 

“She’s long gone. I’ve already had someone take her somewhere safe” it was a cheap shot, but it was all he could come up with, he had no idea whether she was even still here himself, whether someone else had found her.

 

“And they just left you here? you expect me to believe that?”

 

Izaya shrugged “They’d do whatever I told them, I am paying them after all” of course, Izaya was talking about Namie. Izaya also began to wonder where Satoshi had gone, and a thought crossed his mind, maybe he found the baby? If so, what would happen now?

 

“Tch. You know, your smug attitude pisses me off, and to be perfectly honest, you’ve already seen more then I’m willing to let go” Izaya backed up as Sato approached him. “It’s quite a shame really. I’ve heard rather good things about you” Izaya’s eyes widen a little. What the fuck did that mean? Had Satoshi been telling Sato about him? It would explain why he knew to reach out to him for his help. No…., no, he refused to believe that Satoshi would give away anything about him, even if he was undercover….he couldn’t…. Izaya clenched his fists, gritting his teeth, sneering at the other man with anger. “It’s obvious that my men have been taken out, dead or not, how did someone like you even do that?”

 

Izaya found himself grinning “I’m far more capable then I look”

 

“I can change that” Izaya watched as the man pulled out his gun, Sato was too close to be able to dodge the shot in time, but too far away to use his knife. Just as Sato rose the gun, a piercing wail caught their attention.

 

Ah. At least Izaya knew she was still where he’d probably left her. But that meant Sato knew too. Using the momentary distraction, Izaya drew his flick blade and swiped it across Sato’s arm, unfortunately, the man didn’t drop the gun like he’d hoped. Izaya attempted to cut him again but Sato moved, the element of surprise was gone, Izaya tried again, ducking a fist and jumping to the side. The raven grimaced, trying not to move his injured arm that he’d forgotten about. His knife still secure in his left hand, he lunged forward, but a scream tore from his lips when he felt searing pain shoot through his leg, rather literally. Izaya dropped the knife and collapsed to the ground, his eyes closed tightly, a hand pressing down on his leg.

 

Sato grinned down at him, waving the gun. “I’ll deal with you in a moment, but first, I should retrieve my daughter” he said with a cruel laugh as he turned for the alley, his laughter was cut off when he jolted and then collapsed to the ground.

 

Izaya blinked in surprise, was that a trashcan just now? There was only one person he knew that could throw those kinds of objects. Izaya looked over, and sure enough, there he was, looking incredibly pissed off. “Shizu-chan….”

 

“You bastard!” Shizuo shouted as he stormed over, picking up the already unconscious man. “I should fucking kill you for what you did!” Shizuo realised the man wasn’t responding, he snorted and threw him to the side. He was practically shaking with anger, however, the moment his eyes landed on Izaya it subsided. “Izaya!” Shizuo ran over to him as the raven managed to sit up.  “Are you ok?”

 

“Ugh…, you couldn’t have gotten here a minute sooner?”

 

Shizuo growled, clenching his fists, knuckles turning white. He could now see two nasty looking wounds on his lover’s body, he didn’t need to be told they were gunshot wounds. “Can you move?”

 

“My arm isn’t a problem. But my leg is pretty bad. Get the little one first, I had to hide her so I could draw them away better”

 

“Where?”

 

“Alley way. Behind the bin, she’s wrapped in my jacket” Izaya hissed as pain throbbed around his leg. Shizuo looked behind him, Izaya nudged his arm. “He’s out Shizu-chan. Get the baby and we can get out of here…”

 

Shizuo nodded and quickly ran into the alley, he threw the bin to the side without much effort and sighed in relief when he saw her. He knelt down and gently lifted her in his arms, along with Izaya’s jacket. “You had me worried, you know that?” the baby sniffled and then started to cry again. “Hey. It’s ok. you’re safe now” Shizuo whispered softly as he pulled her closer to him. “Let’s get your idiot saviour and go home, what’dya say little one?” he smiled down at her as she clutched her tiny fist around his shirt, he turned the corner and then-

 

“Wouldn’t that be nice. But I’m afraid you might have a bit of trouble in that regard”

 

Shizuo froze as he looked up. He could have sworn he’d fucking knocked him out! Sato grinned darkly at him, he had Izaya, his arm around the raven’s neck, a knife to his face, izaya’s knife. Shizuo could see that Sato had Izaya’s other arm locked behind him, he growled in anger, judging from the raven’s pained expression, it was probably his injured one. “You bastard! I’ll rip you apart”

 

Sato laughed “Well that’s pretty funny, I don’t think you’re really in a position to do that right now” Shizuo knew the man was right. He had never been this helpless before, it made him sick. “Here’s the deal. You put that baby down there,” Sato said, gesturing with the knife toward the ground between them. Izaya eyed it wearily, it was dangerously close to his throat, even if he tried to get free, there was no guarantee that Sato wouldn’t have the chance to slice his neck. “You put the baby down, and I let him go” Izaya glanced at Shizuo, the blond looked beyond furious, but his body was tense, then he noticed his eyes. Was he- was he considering- no!

 

“Shizu-chan run! Don’t give him that baby! I’m not worth-” Sato gripped Izaya’s arm tightly “Ah!”

 

“Shut up broker!”

 

Shizuo growled loudly, taking a step forward, “You fucking hurt him anymore, the deal is off”

 

Izaya was getting frustrated, did Shizuo seriously think Sato would even let him go once the baby was handed over? Surely the blond was smarter than that?

 

“As you wish” Sato grinned “Now. The baby first, on the floor”

 

Izaya watched Shizuo step forward, that idiot! As Sato shifted as well, it was then that the raven could feel something against his back. He knew both of Sato’s hands were occupied, but he could definitely feel it, the butt of the gun was resting between them. Sato probably had it sitting securely in the hem of his trousers. Izaya knew he was right, of course he knew, Sato was planning to let him go and shoot him in the back; leaving Shizuo in complete shock, he’d end up shooting him too. A chill ran up Izaya’s spine, he couldn’t move, but he needed to get through to Shizuo, the blond could not give this baby away for his sake! At least if he fled with the tiny human, then that would save both of _them_ at least. “Shizu-chan! He’s not going to let me go! You know that! Just fucking run!”

 

Sato narrowed his eyes and kicked out behind Izaya’s leg, another scream was torn from the raven, but Sato held him up, stopping him from collapsing. “I said shut up!”

 

“That’s enough!!” Shizuo shouted, his voice giving away how much it pained him to see Izaya suffer. “Don’t. fucking. Touch him” Shizuo knelt down, his hands shaking as the baby looked up at him. “I’m so sorry…”

 

Izaya couldn’t believe it, the blond was actually- Sato was going to kill him anyway, and yes, Izaya was fucking scared to death, but he couldn’t bare the thought that his death was going to cause not only the life of the baby-a fate probably worse than death, but Shizuo’s too. Shizuo! The man he loved more then anything. “Shizu-chan…please, please just run….please”

 

Shizuo could hear his plea, but there was no way. No way he would leave, he couldn’t do that. But deep down, his gut instinct was telling him that Izaya was right, would Sato really let him go? It was highly unlikely. But….the thought of just- abandoning- _I can’t, I just can’t leave you, Izaya…_ damn it! This was all his fault! If he hadn’t had brought the baby home in the first place, if he’d just waited with Tom for the police, the baby would have been safe there anyway. But no, he had to go and do things on impulse! And now- now Izaya was-

 

Shizuo placed the baby on the ground and stood up, his fists clenching. Izaya watched him, the guilt was practically radiating off him, he knew Shizuo didn’t want to do this, so why the hell was he risking it? Shizuo looked at him and Izaya knew then. _Because he’d do anything for me, anything, as long as it kept me safe._ The raven decided, that to get Shizuo to make the right decision, he was going to have to make it for him. Izaya clenched his eyes, and with all the courage he had, he threw his head back, smacking Sato in the face hard. Izaya winced and span around as the action caused Sato to release him, he jumped at him, trying to wrestle the knife from his hand.

 

Shizuo gaped and then attempted to run toward them, that stubborn- what the hell did Izaya think he was doing!?

 

Izaya was weakened, Sato lashed out with the knife, but the raven was slow to react, and the blade cut across side. Izaya hit the ground, a hand cradling his wound as he coughed. “Shi- Shizuo! Run! Just fucking run! Take the baby and go!”

“Forget it! No fucking way!” but Shizuo was already carrying the baby in his arms again.

 

“You can’t sacrifice her for me…you know that! Please….please take her and go! I-” Izaya coughed as a foot slammed into his already injured side. “Shiz- urgh…go….please”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened. He froze. Sato glared at him, pulling out his gun. “Leave now, and I will kill him”

 

Izaya grit his teeth. “He’s going to kill me anyway! Leave now! God damn it….Shizuo! the world doesn’t revolve around us! This is me being selfless….let me have it, will you” another harsh kick and Izaya bit his lip, a crack was heard. “Shiz…chan….”

 

Shizuo knew what he needed to do, but....he couldn’t move his damn feet. He loved Izaya so much, just the thought of- of losing him, how had things got so screwed up so quickly? He had all this strength and yet- and yet he was helpless now, Izaya was suffering and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. Anger was boiling in him, he wanted nothing more then to tear the bastard to shreds for ever laying a finger on his lover. He looked at the baby in his arms. Then it struck him. Izaya had never cared this much about someone else, with the exception of himself-meaning Shizuo. Izaya cared about this baby, enough to be willing to throw his own life away so Shizuo and her would be safe. Fuck. But it tore the blond apart. Was he suppose to raise this child without him? He was sure that’s what Izaya was intending to do if he’d managed to get her and himself to safety....but, what did that mean? That Izaya wanted a family? Tears sprung to Shizuo’s eyes, when had the raven decided this? Just fucking now. Was that some kind of death bed confession?

 

A click was heard, and it snapped Shizuo out of his thoughts. “The baby comes with me, or I will put a bullet between his fucking eyes!”

 

Izaya looked at Shizuo, making sure he was paying attention. “You know it’s the right thing to do. Please....take her and....” Shizuo saw tears glisten in the raven’s eyes and his heart broke. “You’ll be ok. You’ll....make a good dad....”

 

“Izaya- don’t make me do this...”

 

“It’s ok. We’ll meet again, remember?” Izaya smiled, but his emotions gave him away, and there was regret in his eyes.

 

Sato’s eyes narrowed and he slammed his foot down again, this time, on Izaya’s leg.

 

Izaya couldn’t help the scream that burst forth. Shizuo almost saw red, life be damned! He was not going to stand here- no! He was not running away and letting this asshole get away with what he’d done. He was about to put the baby down again and- he didn’t know how- but make this guy suffer!

 

That’s when he heard it, the echoing sound of a horse mixed with a motorbike.

 

Celty!

 

From what he heard, she sounded damn angry. The sound became louder, Shizuo could feel the vibrations through his whole body.

 

And then there she was, her scythe was out, looking razor sharp in the sunlight, despite the shadows. Shooter whinnied angrily and Celty’s shadows circled around the air. Shizuo looked at her, damn, she really was pissed. He’d never seen her like that before. “Celty” it was all he could say.

 

Sato’s eyes widened “W-what the hell is that thing!?” Now, now Sato was afraid. Shizuo narrowed his eyes, clenching his fists as the gun was still aimed for Izaya. “I’m warning you! Stay back!” Seeing Izaya only angered her further and shadows sprang forth, first the gun was taken away in a blink of an eye, then the knife, then... she looked confused for a moment, then she wrapped the baby in a few thin shadows and carefully brought it to her.

 

That was it, that was all Shizuo needed. He growled and lunged. “I’ll fucking kill you!!” Sato gaped and before he knew it, Shizuo smashed his fist into the man several times before hurling him through the air, he skidded to a stop. But Shizuo wasn’t done. He was beyond fuming. He would pay ten times over for what he’d done to Izaya. Suddenly, shadows halted him, trying to calm him down. Shizuo then snapped out of it for a moment as Celty was beside him. Baby held close to her by her shadows.

 

[I don’t know what happened. But we’ve got to go!]

 

Shizuo turned and ran to Izaya. He knelt down; the raven appeared to have almost lost consciousness. He received a pained groan when he lifted Izaya up, pulling him close. “Sorry. I know you’re hurting. Just hang tight a little”

 

“Shizu....chan. Baby.... leave me” Izaya gritted his teeth as Shizuo shifted him in his arms.

 

“It’s ok Izaya. We’re ok now. Celty’s here, the baby is safe, and so are you. We’re gonna get you to Shinra, so try to relax ok?”

 

Shizuo wasn’t sure if Izaya had heard him, or understood what was happening, but he took Izaya’s hand clutching his shirt as a sign that he did. The raven coughed weakly “Hurts....Shizu-chan...” Shizuo felt guilt crash into him, how had he let him- how had he let that bastard hurt Izaya like that! “Hurts....t breathe...can’t....hur....ribs...., feel......cold”

 

Shizuo’s eyes watered, he just cradled his lover, trying to comfort him, warm him. This was all his fault... a PDA was shoved in his face.

 

[he needs help! We need to get him to Shinra! Come on Shizuo, don’t blame yourself. You can tell me everything that happened once we get there. But getting Izaya help is more important right now] Shizuo nodded. She was right. And then there was a cart with a shadowy cover over it.

 

Izaya groaned in pain against Shizuo’s chest as the horse rounded another corner. Shizuo quickly glanced at the baby, she was secured with a lot of shadow, but she didn’t seem too frightened now. He felt Izaya’s hand clutch at his shirt, and it tugged at his heart. “We’re almost there. Just hang on, you’ll be all right”

 

“Shizu...chan....”

 

“I’m right here. You’re safe”

 

“Shizu...love you”

 

Shizuo clenched his eyes shut “Don’t you dare do that. You hear me? Don’t be saying any goodbyes. Izaya....you’re not going to fucking die on me. You- you can’t ok?”

 

“Try....hurts....nd...scared”

 

God damn it. He wished he could do something, anything, to take away Izaya’s pain, he’d gladly take it all himself. “I know. I know. We’re almost there....Shinra will help you, like he’s going to let you slip away from us. Please Izaya, just hang on”

 

“Mmm....love you....”

 

Shizuo frowned “Stop it. Stop saying that. Because I can’t except a goodbye. Tell me that when you’re recovered”

 

………………….

 

Shizuo sighed as he sat on his friend’s couch, his hands in his hair. The baby was finally asleep, secured by pillows. He’d told Celty everything that had happened since he and Tom had found the baby. She was sat beside him, she couldn’t believe it, who would try to do that to a small innocent baby? And, what struck her more, was the fact that Izaya had been so willing to give his life, like he’d already become attached to her. “I let him get hurt. He could have fucking died, and- I just-stood there”

 

Celty typed furiously, tapping hard against her keypad. [No! there was nothing you could have done! Izaya wanted you to save her, he wanted you both safe! That man had you at a weak point, and he knew it. It’s not your fault]

 

Shizuo’s hand shook as he covered his face “God. What would I have done? If you hadn’t have shown- I was….what if he didn’t make it? What if he still doesn’t?”

 

[I got there in time. You would have done the right thing. Izaya told you to save the baby, because he knew how much you wanted to protect her]

 

Shizuo smiled sadly “I know. He’s got some damn timing, confessing to wanting a family”

 

Celty’s fingers froze for a moment and then- [Wait. What?]

 

Shizuo chuckled lightly “Yeah. he told me I’d make a great Dad. I could- I could see regret in his eyes. Like he’d planned on us looking after her together….”

 

[Are you sure about that?]

 

Shizuo nodded, his hand clenched into a fist. “I love him so much…., I nearly lost him today, I still might”

 

Celty lay her hand on his shoulder, her shadows portraying how worried she was.

 

Shinra soon come out of the room, sighing. Shizuo jumped and turned around in his seat. “Shinra…., tell me he’s ok”

 

Shinra smiled at him and nodded “He’ll be ok. The bullet that was in his arm cracked his elbow, but it didn’t come out the other side, so I had to remove it. The one in his leg did, but it tore the femoral artery, which caused a lot of blood loss, not to mention that there was intense bruising around the area, which probably worsened it. I gave him several stitches across his midsection due to a large knife wound, and lastly, two of his ribs were cracked and that caused a collapsed lung”

 

Shizuo was growing more and more angry every time Shinra spoke, hearing the extent of Izaya’s injuries, confirmed just how close the raven had come to dying. “Fuck” Shizuo kicked at the table, sending it sliding across the floor. “How did I let this happen…”

 

Celty slumped and then looked at Shinra, the doctor realised that Shizuo was probably blaming himself right now and he shook his head as he made his way around the couch. He took a seat next to him, pushing his glasses up. “Shizuo. It could have happened to anyone. Just because you’re strong, almost invincible, you’re still human, if it were me, or even Celty in that situation- we would have been left just as helpless”

 

“Except, Celty did something. I just fucking stood there! I let him get hurt! He almost died!”

 

The baby began to cry, and it startled them, Shinra turned and picked the baby up, trying to comfort her. “But she didn’t have a baby to worry about at the time. Did she? Both you and Izaya were left vulnerable, it wasn’t your fault. You saved her, Shizuo; and Izaya will be ok too, just think about that, and be happy that both are safe” Shinra handed her over to Shizuo and she whinged and then clutched his shirt- his shirt…. the way Izaya had done, damn, he’d never seen his lover so scared. He wasn’t wearing the one he’d arrived in, but he remembered how much blood there had been.

 

“Can- can you watch her? I want to sit with him for a little while” Shizuo said after he’d managed to calm her down.

 

Shinra nodded “Sure. Take your time. He’ll be out of it for a few days, but he doesn’t look as bad as what I made it sound” Shizuo handed her over to Shinra and walked toward the back without a word. “Just come get me if he wakes up at all, I’ll need to keep his morphine pretty high for the next few days too”

 

Shizuo mumbled a reply and then walked into the room and shut the door.

 

 

…………………….

 

Shizuo sat there, unmoving on the chair next to the bed. He felt calm now, seeing Izaya-even though unconscious-was a relief, he was alive after all. The hand beneath his own twitched, and Shizuo looked up into half lidded reddish-brown orbs.

 

“Shizu-chan….”

 

Shizuo managed a smile, Izaya’s voice was raspy and his breathing sounded awful. “Hey. I didn’t expect you to wake up yet…, go back to sleep ok? I’m here”

 

Izaya brushed his thumb over Shizuo’s palm. “Can’t…”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Painful…”

 

Shizuo then remembered that he was suppose to get Shinra if Izaya woke up. “Hold on. I’ll get Shinra” Shizuo then ran out of the room, alerting his friends immediately. “Shinra, he’s awake”

 

Shinra sighed, he hadn’t been really expecting Izaya to wake up when he had told Shizuo to get him. Celty was holding the baby so Shinra followed him through to the room. He grabbed a needle and inserted it into a syringe, liquid filled the tube and he quickly inserted it through the wire that was attached to Izaya’s wrist. “Try and relax, the pain will go in a few minutes” Shinra told the raven as Izaya tried not to jolt from the pain.

 

“Tired….”

 

“I know. This’ll help with that, give you a few hours pain free”

 

“Baby?...”

 

Shinra smiled and lay his hand on Izaya’s shoulder. “Just worry about yourself for now. She’s fine, she’s safe ok?”

 

Izaya nodded and watched Shinra leave the room and then glanced over at Shizuo. “Shizu-chan?”

 

Shizuo looked at him and then took his hand. “Yeah?”

 

“Stay with me?”

 

Shizuo nodded and took a seat again, he leaned over and kissed the top of Izaya’s head. “I’m not going anywhere, so just close your eyes, I’m right here”

 

 

………………….

 

After a week, Izaya was on the road to recovery, he’d spent hours trying to convince Shizuo that none of what happened was his fault, eventually the blond conceded. Shinra and Celty had been a big help too, taking care of the baby while Shizuo sat with Izaya in the night. Heck, if it hadn’t had been for Shinra, he might not have been able to do that. The couple knew it was becoming a strain, the baby was crying a lot, but they couldn’t blame her; she wanted attention, she was barely six months old. It had been established by Shinra, that the baby was older than they had first thought. Shinra made a guess that the baby was probably around five and a half months, Izaya and Shizuo wouldn’t have really known much different, they weren’t experts.

“Shizu-chan?” Izaya called as Shizuo held the baby close to him, taking his seat next to the bed. He’d felt a little bad that he hadn’t been giving her the attention she needed, so Izaya told him to bring her in the room for a little while.

 

Shizuo looked up, Izaya looked exhausted, there were still pained lines around his eyes whenever he moved too quickly, but Shizuo was just grateful that he was going to be ok. “Yeah?”

 

“I never asked. How did you know I was in trouble?”

 

“Oh. Yeah. guess I forgot. Satoshi called me”

 

Izaya frowned “You know, it was them he was undercover for”

 

Shizuo nodded “Yeah. he told me that too, in the end. Didn’t really say much else, but he didn’t have to”

 

Izaya tried to sit up, but gave up on that idea, his body still needed rest. “I don’t know what to think about that”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Sato. He said that he’d heard a lot of things about me”

 

Shizuo narrowed his eyes, not liking where this was going. “You think Satoshi told him information about you?”

 

Izaya managed a shrug “I don’t know. I don’t want to believe it, but what else am I suppose to think? He was undercover so….”

 

Shizuo snorted “That doesn’t give him the right to-”

 

“I know. I was hoping he’d get in contact with me. I haven’t heard from him”

 

“You think he called Celty too?”

 

“Maybe. Didn’t you ask her?”

 

Shizuo shook his head and then smiled “Been too worried”

 

Izaya returned the smile and then Shinra popped his head round the door. “Hey, you both have a visitor”

 

“Both?” Shizuo asked

 

Shinra nodded and then none other than Satoshi himself appeared in the room, Shinra gestured for Shizuo to hand the baby over and then he left them alone. “I’m really glad you’re ok Izaya. Shinra said you were going to make a full recovery”

 

Satoshi felt Shizuo’s glare on him and he tried to focus his attention on Izaya. “What are you doing here?” Izaya then asked

 

“I wanted to make sure you were ok. and, try to explain some things”

 

Izaya narrowed his eyes, feeling a little more alert now. “I’m listening”

 

Satoshi sat himself on the edge of the bed. “The group I was undercover with are dealing some heavy trafficking”

 

“We figured that out already” Shizuo said with a sneer

 

Satoshi nodded “Yeah. not only that, but black-market schemes, smuggling-”

 

“Two men were after Anri a couple of days ago” Izaya said “I didn’t know why at the time. Were they targeting her?”

 

Satoshi sighed “Maybe. Probably thought she’d be an easy catch. She’s young”

 

“So what can you tell me about the woman?” Shizuo asked next, Izaya looked at him, he then glanced back to Satoshi, that had been his next question anyway.

 

“She was smuggled in from Russia, Sato had been paying this guy to lie to women and get them here, saying they’d be safe and that they’d be well taken care of. New home, medicine, things like that. Obviously not Sato’s intention. Just more for business”

 

Izaya had heard all this before, so it didn’t really surprise him, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t made him feel less queasy. “And the baby?” he asked, not really wanting to know.

 

“There wasn’t suppose to be a baby. The smuggler fucked up. Didn’t check this woman’s info properly. She was heavily pregnant by the time he brought her over. So he hid her, hoping to stall enough time for her to deliver the baby, recover and then get her to Sato without him ever knowing she had conceived”

 

“The address she was living at, was on our debt collect list” Shizuo said

 

Satoshi nodded but then sighed “Yeah. Sato was the one that borrowed the money, but he used a different name, probably hers”

 

Izaya then spoke “Why would he need to borrow money?”

 

“He doesn’t. He just likes to play around, he’s frickin odd. I don’t think he expected anything to fall apart this much, I doubt he expected your involvement Shizuo”

 

Shizuo frowned “How did he come to know about the baby, if you said that he didn’t have any knowledge about her”

 

“When you first showed up at the apartment, the guy was hiding in the bathroom, which is probably why you didn’t know about the baby until you went back the second time. Our smuggler was counting on being gone with the woman by the time you got back. I don’t think he counted on you returning so quickly”

 

“I got a gut feeling”

 

“Yeah. so when you did, that’s when things went wrong, he tried to drag the woman out of the building, but he hit her in the head when he panicked”

 

Shizuo gritted his teeth “She died”

 

Satoshi nodded “I know”

 

“So did he go back to Sato?” Izaya then asked

 

“He came back, hoping to try and reason with him. He told him a lot of things, about the baby, and how it was a girl and that Sato could still benefit from her”

 

Izaya cringed

 

“She’s Six months old!” Shizuo yelled

 

Satoshi flinched at Shizuo’s anger. “True. But. In the business of selling human organs and such, babies are rare to come by”

 

“You’re fucking joking right?”

 

“No. unfortunately I’m not. Anyway, they tied him up and eventually, that’s when they sought for your help, Izaya”

 

“He fucking played me” Izaya was angry now. More so then he had been before, now that he knew the whole story. Well, almost. “Did he already know that Shizuo had her when he called me?”

 

“No. but he knew that he’d been involved. The guy gave Sato a description of him and told him his name”

 

“He knew my name?” Shizuo asked in surprise

 

Izaya smiled at him “Most people do. If given the bartender description”

 

Shizuo snorted “Shut up” Izaya chuckled, the action caused him a bit of pain, but he tried to ignore it for now. Shizuo however, didn’t. “Oi. Do you feel ok?”

 

Izaya nodded, even though his hand was holding his side. “Anyway. Back to this smuggler. He obviously knew Shizu-chan, even if by reputation and rumours. Who told Sato about me?”

 

Satoshi seemed surprised by the question “Same one. He told Sato who to contact, said you’d helped him out in the past”

 

“Who?”

 

Shizuo growled “Been living under a rock if he thought Izaya was still that person”

 

Izaya could sense Shizuo’s turmoil, the blond hated it when someone brought up what he used to be like in the past. “Who was it?”

 

“He goes by the name Daijon Menton”

 

Shizuo snorted “Oh. The condiment”

 

A small smirk formed on Izaya’s face and Satoshi chuckled “That’s the name he used. But Izaya, you probably know him by a different name”

 

“And that would be?”

 

“Morita”

 

Izaya tilted his head in thought for a moment and then he remembered “Oh. That moron. I know him. So he’s ditched the pharmaceutical job and become a smuggler for Sato. You’d think he’d have learnt his lesson from Celty. But I never knew what happened to him and those he worked with”

 

Shizuo spoke, not quite knowing who they were talking about. “Who’s Morita?”

 

Izaya looked over at him “He was a trafficker for the pharmaceutical company, bringing them humans to experiment on. Celty would probably remember them, Dotachin too”

 

Shizuo tilted his head “Black van?”

 

Izaya blinked “I suppose”

 

“Yeah. think I remember her telling me something like that once”

 

“Regardless” Satoshi said, “That’s how Sato got the insight to call you Izaya, and that’s how he knew about Shizuo too” Satoshi sighed “I bet you thought it was me, right?”

 

“What was I suppose to think?”

 

“I know. I really was surprised to see you at their office. Once I learned that Sato had gotten you involved, I was going to try to contact you, but I couldn’t get any privacy. I took a risk by contacting Shizuo, and then of course, Celty, once I realised the trouble you were in. believe me when I say, that I hated myself, because I couldn’t help you. I’m still technically undercover. There’s a higher boss, that’s controlling those from today, but I have no idea who that is”

 

“Are we safe?” Shizuo asked “I mean. Does it seem like anyone is going to try and come after us?”

 

Satoshi shook his head “I honestly don’t know. Those that were knocked out by Izaya, won’t say anything to whoever their boss is, out of fear of what he’ll do. They’re afraid that the situation with the woman and the kid will jeopardize the whole thing. So they’ll unlikely talk”

 

“What about Sato?” Izaya asked, he sat back, pain seemed to be a constant now, he just wanted to sleep and be pumped with morphine.

 

“That I don’t know. He’s disappeared. No one can find him”

 

Shizuo clenched his fists “I should have killed him”

 

“That wouldn’t have done any good Shizu-chan. You’re not a killer”

 

“He deserved it!”

 

Izaya smiled, he knew Shizuo was still incredibly angry over what had happened. “I’m ok though right? There’s no need to track him down now. He’ll most likely be just as afraid of confessing to his boss about what went wrong” Izaya looked at Satoshi “Right?”

 

“Yeah. more than likely. I’ll keep an eye out, see if I can maybe figure out where he went. But, it’s looking like they won’t risk anything by coming after you” Izaya nodded and Shizuo seemed to relax at hearing that. Satoshi stood up. “I’ll let you rest. I just came to check on you, and I really needed to confirm that I hadn’t betrayed you both. I knew Izaya would probably be thinking that”

 

Izaya avoided his gaze then, “I’m grateful. That you didn’t….”

 

Satoshi smiled and then said “Take care” as he left the room.

 

Shizuo sighed and Izaya looked over at him “Ok?”

 

Shizuo nodded, he then took Izaya’s hand and flinched when he felt the hot skin. “Are you?”

 

Izaya smiled weakly “Just a little uncomfortable. Need some pain relief, I suppose”

 

Shizuo stood up and placed the back of his hand on Izaya’s forehead. “Shit. Izaya, you have a fucking fever. Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

 

Izaya sighed, he honestly didn’t think it was that bad, now he felt really lousy though. “Sorry…., I didn’t feel as bad before. But we needed to know what was going on, so…., I’ll be all right once I’ve rested some”

 

Shizuo snorted and walked toward the door. “I’m getting Shinra”

 

Izaya sat up slightly, and then he got dizzy. “Wait….Shizu-chan…”

 

Shizuo grew concerned “What’s wrong?”

 

“Bowl….” Izaya pointed over to the table.

 

“Shinra!” Shizuo called loudly and raced to grab the bowl and held it up to Izaya’s face as the raven sat up more and then puked. Shizuo supported his lover’s shoulder’s as Izaya spat in disgust, his skin felt hot under his touch.

 

“Ngh…” Shizuo moved the bowl away as Izaya clung to him. “Hot….”

 

“I know. You probably overdid it today” Shizuo said calmly as he rubbed Izaya’s back. Shinra then came rushing into the room, looking somewhat annoyed.

 

“I told you to take it easy” he said as Shizuo moved away to allow Shinra some room. Izaya was laid back down and Shinra placed an icepack that he’d brought, over his head. “How’s the pain?”

 

“Painful…”

 

Shinra rolled his eyes “On a scale Izaya”

 

Izaya tried to smile but he grit his teeth curling over slightly. “7…”

 

Shinra nodded and increased the dose in the syringe and inserted it into Izaya’s cannula. “You’ll be uncomfortable for a little while due to the fever, but the pain should go very shortly. Just rest from now on. I knew I should have not let Satoshi see you. you would only get worked up, and you did”

 

“It’s ok though” Shizuo told him

 

Shinra looked at him “As in, the situation?”

 

“Yeah. looks like we’ll be fine, Satoshi said that they’re not likely to come after us”

 

Shinra smiled “That’s good to hear. Now rest”

 

Shizuo watched Shinra walk out of the room and then sat down again. “Idiot” he muttered

 

Izaya smiled “Sorry….” Shizuo linked their fingers together. “Shizu-chan?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I was thinking….Mai”

 

Shizuo blinked in confusion “Mai? Who’s Mai?”

 

Izaya huffed a laugh, his eyes were drooping, he was so tired, and the morphine was setting in. “A baby name….our baby”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened “I-Izaya…., you really want to- I didn’t expect- are you sure that’s not the fever talking?”

 

Izaya shook his head. “Don’t think so…., I know that we can’t adopt her, but, we can raise her as ours?”

 

Shizuo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I have to be dreaming…”

 

Izaya smiled “It’s real. I just- when we were talking about lullaby’s and stories in our room that time. It-for a split second, it felt like she was already part of us”

 

Shizuo tightened his hand around Izaya’s for a moment, emotions welling up in him. “Izaya…”

 

“I’m probably hopped up on morphine, and I probably sound ridiculously sentimental. But, the idea is real”

 

“Won’t people start questioning it?”

 

Izaya smirked “We’ll tell them it’s Namie’s”

 

Shizuo laughed “Won’t she be pleased”

 

Izaya brushed his thumb over Shizuo’s hand. “This is something you want, isn’t it? back when we rescued Akane?”

 

Shizuo nodded “But you said-”

 

“I know. We weren't parenting material, and our jobs were dangerous, and they and we, still are. It feels different this time. I don’t know why. I feel like giving her away now would be wrong”

 

“You really want to do this?”

 

Izaya nodded

 

“Mai. Our daughter, Mai….our daughter”

 

“Good ring?”

 

Shizuo smiled and leaned forward, gently pressing his lips to Izaya’s.

 

 

 


	3. And baby makes three

A few days after the traumatic events that had taken place at the office building, Izaya and Shizuo had gone back to their apartment, with baby Mai. Their daughter. Something about that statement still sounded so strange to the pair, they didn’t think they’d ever be ready or willing to except that one day they’d be calling themselves parents. It wasn’t legally, but it didn’t matter, they’d come up with a way to explain the situation eventually. Izaya was under strict orders from Shinra to rest and NOT LEAVE THE APARTMENT unless it was a slow walk, WITH SHIZUO. Izaya argued until his voice was but a hoarse whisper, but he didn’t win, it was three against one anyway, and as soon as his sisters got wind of what had happened, they’d be against him too.

 

He guessed this was one of those times, where they had a very good reason to worry, he’d almost died. Yes, they had said that before, on many occasions actually, when he’d saved Shizuo from a gunshot, when he fell off the roof protecting Anri, when he actually jumped off the roof…. This time, this was different, it felt different, Izaya even knew it himself, felt it, remembering the feeling well. He’d sometimes jolt awake while he’d still been recovering at Shinra’s in the previous days. All the other times before, he’d never been truly sure whether he’d make it or not, not even when he was shot and had confessed that he finally loved the blond. No, not even then.

 

So they did have a right to worry. They’d been truly scared, and Izaya felt as though he was at fault, but he knew better. They really had thought he was going to die, and the raven would be lying if he said he hadn’t. He couldn’t remember much after Celty had come to help them, he remembered clinging to Shizuo, and he’d be willing to bet the blond thought he’d been afraid. That was partially true, but Izaya clung to him, to try and stop himself from slipping away, like there was this unknown force, trying to drag him backwards, into a far away place, where he’d never come back from. That was why it was different, all those other times, he’d never felt that force before and it had scared him something fierce. Maybe that was what led to the confession of regret, when he had screamed at Shizuo to leave him, there was regret, regret for all the things they’d never do again or get to do. When Celty appeared, it had been like she was the force tugging against the other, pulling him back from the darkness that he began to slip into. And Shizuo. Shizuo was the net, the safety net, ready to catch him and wrap him securely in his arms, never letting him go.

 

When Izaya woke up the first time, he was groggily aware of where he was, and his mind was still processing the knowledge that he was alive, in a way, he welcomed the pain that had been brought with that knowledge. Simply because if he felt pain, it truly meant that he was alive. The second time, that was when he knew, remembering the regret, remembering what might have happened to those he loved if he really had died. Izaya had come to realise, that his friends, his family-being his sisters, and of course, Shizuo’s parents- really did care about him, they loved him, he’d gotten used to that now, so if he died-what kind of mess would he leave behind? He couldn’t speak for Shizuo, because that man was unpredictable, even now. But, he imagined that things wouldn’t be the same, his friends would mourn, but they’d be ok. his sisters though, he’d doubt they’d truly ever be ok, they meant the world to him now, and they’d told him many times the feeling was mutual.

 

Shizuo could go two ways, he’d either withdraw from everyone and never be who he was before, or, he’d be more destructive then ever and grieve in all the wrong ways. There was a third option, and being unpredictable, it might be plausible, that he’d grieve for a long period of time, remain silent, but, he’d come to realise that his friends and family still needed him, and that even though Izaya was gone, he’d live in everything and everyone that surrounded Shizuo.

 

In any conclusion, no matter how they’d grieve, they would handle it better than Izaya ever would or had done. When the raven thought he’d lost Shizuo from that coma last year, Izaya lost his mind in a way that he couldn’t describe now if someone asked him. His heart couldn’t take the damage, he wanted it over, as quickly as possible, he wanted to end his life, no hesitation, no second thoughts. He-just-couldn’t-cope.

 

A small cry startled him. How long had he been zoned out for? He looked down to his left, Mai was wriggling in her bouncer, clearly disliking the fact she had been ignored for longer then necessary. Izaya smiled. he was fine, he was alive, they were ok now. Nothing happened.

 

He leaned over slowly, ignoring the pain the stretch caused him, he picked her up and settled her on his good leg and leaned back into the couch. “Sorry about that. That’s called overthinking. But you wouldn’t care, because you’re a baby, so you’d likely never overthink anything for more then a millisecond” if Shizuo heard him now, he’d point out that it was unnecessary to talk to a six month old baby like she was an adult, like she would even understand him anyway. Izaya disagreed, he wanted their baby to be smart, and he’d read a few books while being cooped up in the apartment, that the more you spoke to a baby in a certain way, they’d pick up on it eventually, maybe. Izaya hated the cooing and baby talk most adults gave their children, it was demeaning, just because they couldn’t actually talk, it didn’t mean they weren’t able to listen. “What does daddy know ne? he has an amoeba mind; a single celled microscopic animal, of a group of phyla of the kingdom Prostita. That’s why he’s a protozoan” Izaya chuckled when Mai simply replied by gurgles and then kicked her legs out. Izaya groaned at the contact, trying to keep hold of her as he hissed. He then smiled weakly. “I guess I deserved that,”

 

Seeing his facial expression change, she then started to cry. He blinked in surprise and then realised it was probably the change in his attitude that scared her. He’d shown her discomfort. “Whoa. Sorry, it’s ok, I’m ok, you didn’t mean to. It’s not your fault” he pulled her to his chest and rubbed her back. “Shh…don’t cry now, Iz-nii is here”

 

Iz-nii. Izaya smiled when he remembered that very conversation he and Shizuo had the first day they brought her home.

 

_Izaya had been bed bound, so he merely watched Shizuo and Mai while they interacted with one another on the bed, sitting beside him. “I was thinking,” Shizuo said as he allowed Mai to hold his fingers, to which she then decided that sucking on them would be a better idea. Shizuo pulled a face, but he didn’t retract his hand, Izaya chuckled at the action. “I spoke to Mom and Dad earlier”_

_Izaya blinked. “Already? We’ve only just brought her home”_

_Shizuo hunched, he didn’t know that he wasn’t suppose to tell anyone yet. “Er. Sorry. I got excited I guess” he admitted, with a blush._

_Izaya shook his head, he supposed he couldn’t really blame him. “Am I right in thinking they were probably a little happy?”_

_Shizuo snorted with a smile as he picked Mai up and shuffled closer to him. In the days spent at Shinra’s, Shizuo had gotten more confident at holding her, his fear of hurting her had lessoned each time. “A little? She practically screamed down the phone”_

_Izaya grinned, sounded about right. “So what are you thinking about?”_

_Shizuo took to jiggling the baby up and down on his knee. “It was her idea”_

_Izaya raised an eyebrow “Blaming a baby, really now, Shizu-chan, that’s low”_

_Shizuo glared at him “Not the baby, my mother” he then noticed that Izaya was smirking, and realised the raven was teasing him. “Asshole”_

_Izaya tutted “You know, we’re going to have to watch our language around her. She’ll pick it up”_

_“She’s six months”_

_Izaya laughed, Shizuo couldn’t grasp certain facts. For all he knew, babies were just babies, and they didn’t know anything. He found it cute rather than ignorant. “She’s at the age where she’s acquiring cognitive and physical skills” Izaya looked at Shizuo’s face, knowing the point where he’d lost him. He laughed. “She’s more observant to her surroundings then you think. She’s going to watch us, copying our social interactions by speech or action, for her later skills. When she talks and walks” Shizuo stared at him, mesmerized by Izaya’s  knowledge. It was a shame that Izaya was injured, and of course that there was a baby with them right now. Hearing the raven speak so passionately about something, always got him flustered. Izaya tutted again, knowing full well what was going through Shizuo’s mind. He then smirked. “You’ll just have to be patient”_

_Shizuo blushed, embarrassed that he’d been discovered so easily. “Shut up. Obviously I can wait”_

_“If you say so. You and your hand are going to be busy for a while. Since I can’t move my right arm much anyway”_

_Shizuo rolled his eyes “You’re left-handed”_

_Izaya shrugged “True. But the knife wound, and my broken ribs are on the left, so movement is proving to be difficult”_

_Shizuo’s face faltered into a frown, feeling concerned all of a sudden._

_Izaya gave him a dismissive wave. “It’s ok. don’t worry about it. Shinra gave me plenty of pain relief. So it doesn’t hurt right now. No need to get all gloomy”_

_Shizuo snorted, damn. Izaya may tell him that he’s unpredictable, but Izaya knew him better than he admitted to. “I know. sorry”_

_Izaya shrugged “Now. Tell me your Mom’s idea”_

_Shizuo thought for a moment. He’d almost forgot what they were suppose to be talking about. “Oh. Right. They ran an idea across me. Since we can’t adopt or anything, it was the best they could come up with”_

_“And what’s that?”_

_“Well, I said I’d discuss it with you first. But, they suggested that_ they _adopt Mai. That way, she’s technically part of the family, we’ll still be able to look after her like this, and she’ll have at least one of our last names” Shizuo chewed his lip after finishing his explanation. “I don’t know how you’d feel about that”_

_Izaya stared at him in surprise, didn’t know how he’d- Shizuo was right, he couldn’t describe how he felt, but it wasn’t the reason Shizuo was thinking. He was overwhelmed, that the blond’s parents would do something like that for them, for him._

_“Izaya?”_

_Izaya hadn’t realised he’d yet to reply, he smiled, unable to help the tears that sprung to his eyes. Ah. He wiped the away, with a little annoyance. “Damn it”_

_Shizuo just smiled, and leaned over to kiss him, not acknowledging it. “So what do you think?”_

_Izaya nodded “It’s a great idea. But, I was thinking too. About how we’re going to raise her with regarding us as parents”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Well. We want her to recognise us as both parents obviously. But her calling us both dad or daddy is going to get confusing for both of us and her”_

_Shizuo thought for a moment “I guess so. So what, like, I’m referred to as dad and you daddy or the other way?”_

_Izaya shook his head, chuckling a little “That doesn’t really solve the problem. I was thinking more of-and since she’s going to have your last name anyway- it’ll make it easier. That you are referred to as daddy or dada or however she wants to say it when she’s older”_

_Shizuo wasn’t sure this was fair. “And what about you? you’re her father too, or will be”_

_Izaya nodded “I know. we’ll raise her to acknowledge that. but when my sisters were little, they would call me Iz-nii, they couldn’t really pronounce my name anyway, but it stuck for a while, until they got older, or the fact that we’d grown apart for a long period of time. I swore Mairu slipped up on the phone the other day, she’s denying it though” Izaya chuckled._

_“Are you sure that’s how you want it? being called Iz-nii, instead of dad?”_

_Izaya nodded “Like I said. We’ll raise her to acknowledge both of us as parents. When she’s older, we’ll explain the difference”_

_Shizuo nodded “All right. I agree that it’ll be less confusing if she calls out to one of us. I just feel kind of bad”_

_Izaya smiled and raised his finger in Mai’s direction so she could grab it. “It’s fine. I don’t mind. The authority title suits you better anyway”_

_Shizuo glared playfully at him “You saying I’d be stricter?”_

_Izaya laughed “Quite the opposite actually. Daddy’s little girl, ne?” Shizuo blushed, it was true, he already felt so protective of her. “She’ll have you wrapped around her finger”_

_Shizuo rolled his eyes, he wasn’t that soft was he? “She won’t be like that. I won’t spoil her; I don’t want her growing up like that”_

_Izaya smiled, this was really happening, wasn’t it? “I was just kidding. She’ll be fine. She’s got two pretty strong influences, with rather strong beliefs, no?”_

_Shizuo nodded, that was true. But something Izaya had said once, when they rescued Akane. “I thought we weren’t great role models?”_

_Izaya smirked “Probably not. Even so, we_ know _the difference between right and wrong”_

_Shizuo returned the smirk “Don’t do what daddy does?”_

_Izaya laughed “Well, I’m hoping we’ll get used to being careful around her, so we don’t have to explain that”_

_Shizuo nodded, he looked at Mai, she was still holding Izaya’s finger, but she looked at him and then let out a shrill giggle. Shizuo couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah. she’ll be fine”_  
  


Izaya sighed in relief when Mai sniffled and seized her crying. “Why don’t we play a game hm?” Izaya sat himself up a little and carefully swung his legs over the couch. He placed her on the floor and slowly stood up, he shuffled over to the box that had been placed by the stairs. He opened it and picked out a smaller box, he limped his way back to her, chuckling as she watched him the entire time. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were worried. But I don’t think you understand the concept of injury. It’s a nice thought though, isn’t it?” Izaya sat back on the couch and lifted her up again to sit beside him. He emptied half the contents of the box in front of her and then placed it the other side of him. He held two red blocks for her to see and then connected them. “See? This is a colour called red, one of Iz-nii’s favourite ones. You can’t say that yet, but coordination doesn’t care about that” he then picked up two blue blocks, and then linked them together. “This is blue. Daddy’s favourite colour. Even though he always wears black and white, kind of like a penguin”

 

“Oi. I heard that” a voice came from behind them, Izaya turned his head and chuckled. Shizuo came through the door, setting his keys in the dish and then made his way over to the couch. He knelt down on the floor, Mai looked up and gave him a smile, babbling happily, recognising his face. “What are you up little one? Hm?” Shizuo laughed as he took the block he was given and linked it with another one and then handed it back to her. She looked at it, and then pulled them apart. “Huh. Daddy was wrong then, I guess”

 

Izaya chuckled, it couldn’t be that she’d grasped what he was showing her, could it? he liked to think so. “I was showing her matching colours. Two blocks of the same colour together”

 

Shizuo smiled, he looked up at Izaya “You think she grasped that concept that quickly?”

 

Izaya shrugged “I don’t know. she didn’t like yours, a yellow block and a green block. Not the same colour”

 

“Maybe she just doesn’t like those colours”

 

Izaya laughed “That sounds even less plausible”

 

Shizuo shrugged and then sat the other side of her, watching her happily pick up the blocks. She wasn’t able to grasp putting them together, but she could easily pull them apart, as she had just demonstrated. “Let’s see if it’s true then” Shizuo then picked up two of the same colour blocks, green ones and then gave it to her. All of a sudden, she threw the blocks as hard as she could, and they hit the television screen. Luckily, the force wasn’t strong enough to break it, but they flinched regardless. “Good luck getting her to eat vegetables”

 

Izaya tutted at him. “I doubt it was because she hates the colour. Babies throw things, it’s just a matter of teaching them not to”

 

“She doesn’t understand”

 

Izaya couldn’t help but smile. “You’d pick up the blocks and bring them back, and simply say ‘no’”

 

Shizuo blinked at him “Really?”

 

“The more she hears that when she does something wrong, the more she’ll learn it”

 

“Just how many books have you read? I mean, it’s only been a few days”

 

“I read fast. We were at Shinra’s for a little while, and if I’m stuck here, what else am I suppose to do?”

 

Shizuo slumped, he felt as though he should know something, but he didn’t have a clue. “Sorry. You probably think I’m being kind of an idiot”

 

Izaya frowned, he reached over and covered Shizuo’s hand with his. “That’s not it. I wouldn’t know any more then you do, half the stuff I’ve read I didn’t know until then, so whatever I tell you, is only what I’ve learned”

 

Shizuo looked over at him, he gave him a small smile. “Thanks” they look down to see a tiny hand soon placed over theirs. Shizuo chuckled. Izaya was right. She was taking in her surroundings, she saw Izaya cover his hand in comfort and mimicked him. “Thank you little one, I feel better now” she seemed to react to his happiness and giggled.

 

“Good” Izaya said, “So did work go ok?”

 

Shizuo nodded “Nothing out of the ordinary really”

 

Izaya grinned “So does that mean flying clients?”

 

Shizuo rolled his eyes and then nodded “Yeah. piss me off”

 

Izaya chuckled and lifted Mai onto his good knee, Shizuo couldn’t help but notice the tension in the raven’s face as he did so. “See. Daddy said a bad word, that’s a big no no”

 

Shizuo huffed

 

“Bad daddy. You can say annoyed me, or perhaps bugged me. But don’t repeat what daddy says”

 

Shizuo shook his head “Like your mouth is clean”

 

Izaya gave him a seductive grin “Cleaner than yours”

 

Shizuo blushed and stood up “Damn flea”  Izaya chuckled as he watched Shizuo retreat to their kitchen.

 

“And now he’ll hide for a while. Because daddy gets embarrassed when I talk that way. But he likes it secretly”

 

Shizuo came back quickly, a glass of milk in his hand. “Pft. Yeah, that’s a great thing to teach her”

 

Izaya stuck his tongue out

 

“Which one of you is the child again?”

 

Izaya laughed “I didn’t say anything bad. I was only making references, its true. Even now, you still blush at-” Izaya covered Mai’s ears “Sexual references” and then he took his hands away.

 

“Shut up. Anyway, how are you today?”

 

Izaya smiled at the change of subject, but he answered regardless. “I’m fine. Picking her up is a little strenuous, I can walk, but I can’t stand still for long”

 

Shizuo nodded and then ran his fingers over Izaya’s side. “And this?”

 

“Stitches pull a little, but it’s nothing serious. My breathing is fine, sometimes it’s a little difficult at night, because I’m laying flat, but the pills help with that”

 

Shizuo sighed “Sorry for getting all worried”

 

Izaya smiled and shook his head. “Don’t be. I’m used to it. but I promise, I’m taking it easy”

 

Shizuo nodded, he was grateful for that. he supposed that what happened didn’t just scare himself and others, but Izaya too. “I know. but, you will tell me right? If you’re feeling pain or if you’re struggling”

 

Izaya nodded “I will, I promise”

 

“Good” Mai then reached over for Shizuo’s glass, trying to make a grab for it. “This is a big Girl’s cup. Can’t have glass, too dangerous for your little hands” Izaya chuckled “What?”

 

“Nothing. I just had this image of when you were a kid, when you hurled your refrigerator at Kasuka, when he took your pudding cup”

 

Shizuo clicked his tongue. “Shut up. Like I’m gonna yell at a six-month-old”

 

“So if she was older then?”

 

Shizuo scowled at him “No!”

 

Mai jumped at the sudden loud noise of her father’s voice and she started to sob. Izaya sighed “I’ll let you deal with that. I need to rest a little” Shizuo looked at him in concern as he took Mai from his partner.

 

Izaya smiled reassuringly at him. “Don’t worry. I’m all right. I didn’t sleep much, and keeping an eye on Mai all day- I just need a little rest, honestly, I’m ok”

 

Shizuo nodded and watched as Izaya slowly made his way up the stairs. He then turned his attention to Mai, who was still crying. “Shh… sorry, daddy didn’t mean to scare you. I bet you’re hungry now right? Yeah, me too. Let’s get some food, what’dya say?”

 

…………………………..

 

Three weeks pass by and Izaya and Shizuo began to get into a little routine. They both had days where they needed to work, so those occasions, either Shizuo’s parents would have Mai or Mairu and Kururi would look after her. By now, all of their friends knew about their daughter, and as much as it came as a surprise they all rushed over at some point to meet her. Mai got used to a lot of faces, so it was easy to leave her with one of them. Shizuo mainly finished work early enough so he could look after her during most days. Tom gave him two days off a week, unless it was urgent, Shizuo didn’t mind, it meant they could form a proper schedule. He’d get the weekend off, so Izaya could work on whatever he needed to do. It was a good thing that they had an apartment separate from Izaya’s workplace, Shizuo knew neither of them wanted Mai around that kind of atmosphere. Izaya didn’t want his daughter picking up on his mischievous nature while he worked.

 

The raven wasn’t fully healed, but he took to either working a little from home-even if he just answered emails and browsed the forum sites- or he’d visit his workplace and give Namie a few tasks that he couldn’t manage quite yet. Shizuo would rather him not galivant around the city until he was fully healed, and Izaya would rather not deal with a constant worry from the blond, so he did as he promised and carried on taking it easy for now.

 

His stitches were out, so it was easier to move, and his arm had almost healed, as well as his ribs. The only thing that gave him the most trouble was his leg, he couldn’t walk without limping, but he couldn’t get to where he needed to without doing so. Once he was home, he’d rest it, but during the day it would have to suffer.

 

Currently, Izaya and Shizuo had the evening off together, it was important to them, at this stage of Mai’s development, they both be around as much as they could. Izaya smiled as Mai opened her mouth to another spoonful of rice pudding. They had both agreed, that whatever the two were having, they’d liquidize it if possible. Sometimes they fed her store brought baby food, if it contained healthy nutrients purely for growing babies. Izaya was particular about her health, Shizuo knew it wasn’t a bad thing, he trusted his partner’s judgement, and knew for a fact that Izaya wasn’t going to let Mai pick up his bad eating habits.

 

“She seems to love this” Izaya said as he watched Shizuo eat the same thing from across the table, he chuckled. “Just like daddy”

 

Izaya then pushed the bowl to one side for the moment, he gave her a spoonful of grapefruit that had been mushed in order for her to be able to consume it. She opened her mouth and Izaya waited for her reaction. Nope. Mai scrunched her face up and spat the food back out. Shizuo grinned “That’s my girl”

 

Izaya sighed and then smiled. “Well. If she won’t eat it, more for me” Mai watched Izaya take the spoon for himself and begin eating. She seemed to like that idea better and giggled happily.

 

“Yeah. I’d spit that out too” Izaya pouted at him and Shizuo laughed “What? Grapefruit it yukky”

 

Izaya rolled his eyes “Yukky? That’s great vocabulary there Shizu-chan”

 

Shizuo just laughed “Oh come on. I’ve heard you with her in the bathtub”

 

Izaya seemed to tense and then he looked away “I don’t know what you’re talking about”

 

Shizuo grinned at his embarrassment “Oh no? splishy-splashy?”

 

Izaya covered his face. Mai looked up at hearing those words, thinking for a moment, before deciding to act on them. She giggled and slapped her little hands down on the highchair, which unfortunately, hit the plastic rice pudding bowl and it splattered everywhere. Shizuo flinched and Izaya grimaced as half the food landed over his shirt. “Ugh” Izaya glared at Shizuo as he started to snicker. He looked back at Mai. “No” he told her, he wasn’t even the slightest bit angry, Shizuo could see that he was trying not to laugh. She smiled at him, her own face covered in the mess and then placed her hands over his. Izaya closed his eyes as Mai’s food covered hands landed on his face.

 

Shizuo couldn’t contain his giggles and then burst into laughter. Izaya sighed and grabbed a napkin from the table, wiping his face, though he was smiling anyway. Shizuo got up to help, lifting the lid to the highchair up and took Mai in his arms. “I think that’s enough food play, I think it could be your bath time little one” Shizuo told her, making her giggle as he made a raspberry noise. Izaya shook his head and just chuckled as he stood up to clean the mess.

 

“Daddy won’t be laughing later on, when there’s no fun for him” Izaya muttered, loud enough though for Shizuo to hear.

 

Shizuo snorted and then lifted Mai up slightly in the air, making her giggle more. “He says that. but Iz-nii doesn’t have a lot of will power when it comes to- the part before the fun”

 

“Yeah. we’ll see about that”

 

 

………………………….

 

The spare room had been turned into a baby’s room, complete with a white crib, a baby mobile above it, dangling down. A few toys were placed in the corner of the room. A mixture of light pinks and reds made up the décor, along with a light blue, mainly the carpet, since that had already been placed. Just because Mai was a girl, it didn’t mean she would just be shrouded in pink and all the other girl colours. Neither Izaya nor Shizuo cared about specific gender colours.

 

 

Izaya bit around his wrist to stop himself from moaning loudly as Shizuo thrust into him with deep hard movements. One leg was lifted over Shizuo’s shoulder, the other lay comfortably on the duvet, it still caused him discomfort. Shizuo leaned forward slightly, pushing inside him deeper, he grunted as Izaya clawed at his other shoulder. “Izaya….hn…fuck, so good”

 

Izaya arched when Shizuo wrapped his hand around him, his leaking cock hard and sensitive. “Nh…Shiz- ah! Ah! Fuck! Fuck me! Fuck me harder! Harder!” Shizuo complied, sitting up slightly and pounded into him, harder, faster, like Izaya demanded. “Ah! Right there! Don’t stop! Oh god….yes!”

 

Shizuo clenched his eyes shut, sweat poured off them as he thrust relentlessly into his lover, hitting his prostate multiple times. He was close, so close. Izaya cried out, no longer able to keep his voice hushed. Shizuo stroked him fast and then sucked hard on the tip as he leaned forward again.

 

“Aaah!! Oh go-ooood fuck!”

 

Shizuo grinned, leaning up once more and lifted him up slightly, he pulled out almost all the way and pushed back in fast, hard, deep. Izaya screamed, Shizuo covered his mouth, but didn’t stop his pace. He stroked him faster, could feel himself tense. “Come for me”

 

Izaya felt his body jolt and his cries of pleasure were muffled by Shizuo’s hand. Izaya tensed and then came hard, his orgasm rocking through him as he shuddered, Shizuo thrust deep into him as he then climaxed. They moaned as they rode out the rest of their orgasm, Izaya breathed heavily, trying to catch his breath. Shizuo panted and then pulled out, collapsing on his side. “Shizu-chan….” Izaya complimented him, using only his name, but Shizuo knew the tone well.

 

Shizuo grinned and then said “Told you”

 

Izaya looked over at him, still breathless. “S-smartass….” It was then they heard a soft cry over the monitor, followed by a louder cry. “At least she…has good timing. If I didn’t finish- I would have been pissed”

 

Shizuo clicked his tongue. “How selfless of you” Izaya chuckled and then rolled on his side.

 

“You go. I can’t move right now” Izaya grinned at him and Shizuo turned to kiss him, but Izaya covered his face with his hand.

 

“Not a chance”

 

Shizuo smiled slightly, his cheeks reddened “Oh. Right” he quickly went into the bathroom, swished his mouth in mint wash and washed his hands, he ran back to Izaya, kissed him, placed his boxers on, and then made his way quickly out of the room.

 

Izaya turned and picked up the monitor so that he could hear them better. Good thing they could set these to one way. “That would have been traumatizing for her” Izaya muttered his thoughts aloud. He then grinned when Shizuo’s voice came over the speaker.

 

“Shhh. It’s ok. daddy’s here. don’t cry. You’re not alone, Iz-nii and I are here”

 

Izaya smiled, he always listened. Shizuo’s voice was softer, when around Mai, and it warmed his chest. It was something that would have never occurred to him before. His family, his own little family. Shizuo, his partner, his lover, his life. And Mai, their daughter, their own little bundle of joy. What had he done to deserve this? He honestly didn’t know, but he was grateful every day.

 

Mai’s cries had seized, Izaya heard shuffling which indicating that Shizuo was placing her back in the crib. “No one will ever hurt you little one. You’ll never know the cruel world that befell Iz-nii and I. You and Iz-nii will always be safe, I promise”

 

Izaya chuckled a little, Shizuo probably wasn’t aware of it, but he said something similar to her almost every time he calmed her down. Izaya sighed as he lay on his back, ignoring how he should really shower now. “Unfortunately Mai. We can’t shield you from the cruel world forever. But that’s ok. because we’ll always be here to protect you” he said quietly, frowning. He tried not to think about it too much, but sometimes, thoughts about someone like Sato trying to get to her swarmed his mind. He shook his head. It wouldn’t do them any good to worry about that now. If they were going to come after them, they’d have done so by now.

 

Izaya sat up, he was sore, but in a good way. It had been sometime since they had been able to interact on a sexual level, if the slight claw marks on Shizuo’s shoulders, or the raised skin on Izaya’s body were anything to go by. Shizuo had become used to them, meaning Izaya’s, he used to hate himself if he got even a little carried away. But after so many times of being reassured by the raven that it was ok, and that he really could handle him, that he liked it. Shizuo come to accepting it.

 

Izaya was just finishing changing the duvet when Shizuo returned. He smiled at him and then made his way over, limping only slightly. “Mai ok?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Shizuo’s neck.

 

“She’s fine. No dirty diaper or anything. Just fussed a little”

 

“I forgot to say. Your mother called, she has the papers and wants us there when she signs them, wants to make a little celebration gathering. She tried to call you around two” Izaya then laughed. “I told her you were most likely flinging a client into the air so you couldn’t answer”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened “Don’t say that!”

 

Izaya grinned “I didn’t. but it was funny to watch your reaction just now” somethings would never change. Shizuo sighed. “I just told her you were busy working. She wants us to go at the weekend, she even invited most of our friends, and my sisters”

 

Shizuo rolled his eyes. “I know it’s a big deal. But still”

 

Izaya kissed him “Signing papers is a big deal”

 

Shizuo grinned, getting what Izaya meant. “I remember”

 

“Besides. Mai loves the attention”

 

Shizuo scoffed “She gets that from you”

 

Izaya just smirked

 

……………………….

 

The weekend came by, Izaya, Shizuo and Mai were stood in the kitchen of Shizuo’s old home, along with his parents and their friends. Mairu and Kururi, Shinra and Celty, Kadota and his group were there, Anri and Mikado, Masaomi and Saki, even Tom. Shizuo had no idea when everyone had come to know his parents so well, but he didn’t care; he’d gained even more friends, and since introducing his parents to Izaya, Shizuo saw them more then he used to, which was nice. Namiko began signing her name on one page, while Kichirou signed his on the other. Currently, Mai was being held by Erika, who was babbling on about different kinds of Manga’s and what Anime’s to watch. Mai didn’t really look like she was paying attention, she seemed more interested in the dog.

 

Izaya’s fear of dogs had subsided a little, he was still afraid, but he’d gotten used to this one. He walked over to Erika and then Mai held out her hands when she saw him approach. “I think Erika should stop now before she warps your mind with more explicit stories” Izaya said, eyes on Erika, though he was talking to Mai.  

 

Erika pouted and then smiled “Ok! but when she’s older, the Yuri and Yaoi world awaits her!”

 

Shizuo’s ears perked at that statement. “Hell no!”

 

Izaya just laughed and then set Mai down so she could look closely at the dog.

 

Kadota chuckled, hearing Shizuo’s protectiveness was amusing. “I wouldn’t invite Erika to babysit in a few years then”

 

Erika whined “Why not!? We’d have great fun!”

 

Masaomi knelt down, Mai looked up at him, she was still unsure about a few faces, so it took her a while to recognise him. “Hey squirt” he said, allowing her to grab his fingers. Saki then smiled as she then knelt down, Izaya could tell she wanted to hold her, so he passed her over.

 

Saki laughed “Don’t call her that”

 

“But she’s so small” Izaya laughed when Mai grabbed his hair. “Ow! Ok. ok”

 

Namiko and Kichirou were finished, she smiled as she began popping the champagne corks on the bottles. “All done!” she exclaimed, getting everyone’s attention. “We send these back and it’s official”

 

Izaya stood up with the teens, Saki handed her back to him and he walked over to Shizuo. Namiko poured them all a drink from the many bottles and they rose their glass. Mai turned and held her hands out to Shizuo, Izaya handed her over and Shizuo smiled down at her. It turned out, all she really wanted was his drink, which of course, Izaya didn’t have. “Dip your finger in it, let her try it” Izaya told him. “It won’t harm her”

 

Shizuo dipped his little pinky in, and she sucked on it when he brought it to her lips. She pulled a face that made everyone laugh.

 

Izaya smiled proudly. “That’s my girl” Mairu bounced over and clapped her hands, Shizuo passed her down, warning her to be careful. Izaya rolled his eyes. “Relax Shizu-chan. She’s fine”

 

Shizuo hunched “Yeah. sorry”

 

Izaya just chuckled as he watched his sisters play with her. Mai adored them both, she saw them more often then anyone else. “You’re so cute!” Mairu exclaimed, raising Mai up in the air, Izaya could swear Shizuo was going to have a heart attack. “When you’re older, I’ll teach you lots of cool things too. Like how to kick butt!”

 

Izaya rolled his eyes “That’s not happening you two”

 

Mairu pouted “Why not?”

 

“She’s not going to be in a position where she needs to ‘kick butt’” Shizuo remarked

 

Izaya smiled at Shizuo’s words and then said “I wasn’t talking about that.  kicking butt in self-defence is a good thing” then he glared at Mairu, knowing exactly what she meant. “But not intentionally to kick mine”

 

Mairu grinned at him “Spoil sport” and then she turned back to Mai, making her giggle. “Well. Welcome to the family. Mai Heiwajima”

 

Hearing that, Izaya chewed his lip, trying to contain his emotions. He felt Shizuo’s eyes on him and turned to look, Shizuo’s own emotions were reflecting back at him. Izaya held his hand out behind him, Shizuo grabbed his fingertips.

 

And baby makes three…..

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! I just love writing those two interact with their baby girl!
> 
> They'll be more baby moments to come for now, because the first moments are so important! I love them!


	4. Snippets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your continued support! I hope you enjoy the next chapter!

** Teething and Crawling **

 

Shizuo winced and grinded his teeth, Mai was being extremely vocal today, making it almost impossible for him to relax. He’d tried everything, rocking her, feeding her, changing her; he even took her out of the apartment for a walk in the building. Nothing worked! She just wouldn’t stop crying, it wasn’t a whinge or a cry for attention. She was uncomfortable with something, Shizuo was sure of it, she hadn’t been this way with either of them before. Mai was seven and a half months now, growing healthy-as the doctors had told them- so what the hell was wrong with her?! It tugged at his heart, that she was crying like this, and he didn’t know why.

 

Shizuo sighed as he sat back down with her on the couch, placing her against his chest, rubbing her back. “Please stop crying” he said quietly, of course that wasn’t going to work. He rubbed his temple, damn he had a headache, it was his day off from work, and of course, Izaya happened to be busy with his; on a day like today. “Lucky bastard” he muttered even quieter. He checked his watch, actually, Izaya should be home soon; since they’d gotten Mai, he never stayed at his workplace any later then 9pm if he could help it.

 

Mai had been crying on and off since the early afternoon, his shirt had wet patches all over from her constant drawling. He had text Izaya a couple of times, just to let him know what was going on with her, but he’d gotten no reply. Shizuo wasn’t going to worry though, sometimes, Izaya would just be too busy, and he knew that if it was a real emergency, Shizuo would have called and Izaya would pick up.

 

“Sorry little one. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you” he’d been wracking his brain all day, and he’d been so worried to leave her side for any longer than two minutes, he was sure that one of those books Izaya kept reading, would tell him the answer. “Tch. I just bet, when Iz-nii comes home, he’ll probably have the answer” he told Mai, bouncing her on his knee. “That right?” he smiled, she chewed on her fist, not for the first time, her face red from all the crying. “I suppose I’m a pretty lousy dad” he felt awful; he just didn’t know what to do. She was still crying, but it was muffled a little by her tiny fingers.

 

The sound of their front door opening, and shutting was like music to his ears. He turned around on the couch and Izaya smiled as he walked toward them, only to be met with a loud cry. The raven stopped and grimaced, then he leaned over the couch, seeing her small features, tear stained cheeks and red little nose and puffy eyes. Izaya frowned in concern. “How long has she been crying for?”

 

Shizuo sighed in frustration, “All damn day. On and off. I’ve tried everything, she won’t eat anything but a mouthful”

 

Izaya held his arms out, Shizuo passed her to him, swiping his hands through his hair. Izaya could see the exhaustion in him, and he noticed wet patches staining Shizuo’s shirt. “Drawling a lot?” he asked, gesturing to his clothes.

 

Shizuo was quite sure that was sarcasm, but he nodded anyway.

 

Izaya sighed and switched Mai to lay her head over his shoulder, he made his way into the kitchen, Shizuo followed after him. Izaya ran the cold tap and placed his finger under the water and then sat Mai on the countertop, holding her upright. He placed his finger in her mouth and she immediately latched onto it, he gently rubbed around her gums. She seemed to calm a little, sobbing and sucking at the same time. Izaya turned to Shizuo, smiling sympathetically at the situation. “I think she’s teething”

 

Shizuo blinked. Teething? Was that- he suddenly grew annoyed. “That’s it?”

 

Izaya raised an eyebrow, surely Shizuo wasn’t dismissing this so easily? “Teething is painful for a small baby Shizu-chan”

 

Shizuo glared “I know that! I just- I meant- why the hell didn’t I figure that out? Shouldn’t need a damn book for something that’s probably common knowledge!”

 

Izaya knew then why Shizuo was angry, he picked Mai up and walked over to him. “Don’t get angry. You didn’t know”

 

“But you did!”

 

Izaya sighed, it was becoming an issue with them, Shizuo would get angry with himself if at any point Izaya knew something he didn’t. “I was around when my little sisters were born, I guess I must have paid _some_ attention. You were too young to notice these things when Kasuka was born, besides, I had a lot of free time while I was recovering, I did read all those books you know….”

 

Shizuo glanced away, guilt written on his face “Knowledge is practically a part of you”

 

Izaya shrugged, it was true, he could take in vast amounts of information quickly, so maybe he did have an advantage. He smiled and placed his hand over Shizuo’s cheek, coaxing him to look at him. “But your heart is bigger” Shizuo blinked and when he didn’t reply, Izaya continued. “You might only know a few things, but, the rest of you is filled with generosity, and kindness, and there’s enough love in you for both of us, me and Mai. You’re better with emotions, she needs you for that”

 

Shizuo stared at him, utterly shocked by the sincerity in his lover’s voice. He suddenly pressed his lips to Izaya’s, his arms coming around to bring the two most important people closer. Mai cuddled against Izaya’s chest, finally settling for a moment as she hiccupped and her breathing calmed. “You know what I love most about you?”

 

Izaya grinned up at him “My hotness? My incredible mind?”

 

Shizuo huffed a laugh, shaking his head “It’s your ability to make those around you feel good about themselves, and you don’t even realise you do it, and in a way, I guess that does stem from your incredible mind, so yes, I love that too” Izaya’s heart clenched, making those around him feel good? He’d spent years of his life doing the exact opposite, and for Shizuo to just- Izaya kissed him, showing how much those words meant to him. “Of course,” they pulled away “You are almost impossibly hot” Another kiss “And beautiful” another “And-”

 

Izaya pressed his finger to Shizuo’s lips, a small smirk on his face “I get it” he chuckled lightly. “She’s asleep, for now”

 

Shizuo stepped back, his hand coming to rest on her head. “Teething huh?”

 

Izaya nodded “We’re in for it” he smiled knowingly

 

“Can’t wait”

 

A couple of days pass and Mai wasn’t much better, she fussed during the day and cried a whole lot more at night. They’d gotten some soothing objects to help her along and gave her small doses of paracetamol for the pain. On the days when she wasn’t crying as much and less agitated, they just called them good days. And today, today was a good day, Izaya was home while Shizuo went to work, and the raven was grateful; he smirked, Shizuo would probably be jealous.

 

Currently, Izaya was sat on the floor, against the couch, merely watching Mai as she happily lay across the blanket on the floor. She was laid out on her stomach, playing with her rattling soft bunny, and sometimes chewing on her teething ring. The nights were worse, and even though most of the time, Izaya was used to surviving on little sleep, the exhaustion had caught up to him eventually. His head lulled back slightly, and he stared at the ceiling for a moment before his eyes begun to drift shut.

 

Izaya’s eyes snapped open, had he fallen asleep just then? For how long? shaking his head, he glanced down and his heart stopped. “Mai?” sitting up, his eyes scanned the immediate area. He shot to his feet in panic. “Mai?!” as he span around, he caught sight of her, just behind the couch. He sighed in relief and made his way over to her, he picked her up, hugging her close. “You almost gave me a heart attack…” he whispered, that was a new type of fear he’d never felt before. “I shouldn’t have fallen asleep” he was angry with himself “I-” and then a sudden thought crossed his mind. He looked at Mai and then back over to the couch. “How did you-” realising what had just happened, a smile came over his face. He lifted her up in the air, unable to stop the tears that sprung to his eyes. “Mai! You crawled! Didn’t you?” Izaya couldn’t help it, he was so proud “You amazing little human!” he span her around lightly, and she giggled, clearly liking the proud tone of his voice. Izaya placed her down and moved a fair distance from her, he knelt down and took his phone out. “Wanna do it for daddy now? I’m sure he’d be incredibly happy” Izaya was wondering if he was overreacting, wondering if anyone else had been this proud, she was crawling but- was he suppose to be this happy?

 

Mai stared at him for a moment and then she pushed herself to her knees. Izaya swallowed the lump in his throat as he pressed record when she crawled toward him. He scooped her up and then lay on his back, arms lifting her in the air. “Iz-nii is so proud of you!” she giggled again, and he brought her to his chest.

 

Izaya sighed, Mai was fussing again now, in her highchair and trying to push whatever food was being held in front of her away. “Mai…, I know you’re probably in pain, teething sucks, I know, but can’t you just have something?” as if she would answer him anyway, she looked at him, eyes watery as she sobbed and kept rubbing at her ear. Izaya passed her the teething ring from the bowl of cold water. She latched onto it, chewing through her sobs. It hurt him as much as Shizuo, that she was in pain, there was only so much they could do for her. He smiled as he brushed a thumb over a stray tear. “Least you achieved something today ne? wanna make a bet what daddy’s reaction will be?”

 

“Are you teaching our daughter to gamble?” Izaya smirked and tilted his head back, to see Shizuo in the doorway of the kitchen. He suddenly turned around and stood up, his face a look of concern. Shizuo knew what Izaya was looking at, he lifted his hand up as a gesture that he was ok. “Don’t worry, things got a little heated at this guy’s place, suppose I wasn’t paying attention, didn’t see the knife I guess, trust me, he’s worse off now”

 

Izaya’s eyes widened “He stabbed you?!” the raven moved to where Shizuo was leaning against the counter, the blond grabbed the medical box from the top cupboard, only for Izaya to snatch it from him.

 

“Well, someone threw it, so I guess so. What’s wrong? It doesn’t hurt or anything” Shizuo smiled, it wasn’t like Izaya to worry this much about him, the raven knew better than anyone that Shizuo’s body was ‘immune’ to most injuries. He watched Izaya frown as he cut across his pant leg to get to the wound, he stood there, unflinching as Izaya cleaned it and then bandaged it. “Oi. It’s not like you to act this worried”

 

Izaya stood up, realising that he probably overreacted, he blushed a little. He knew Shizuo was fine, obviously he was. “Guess I forgot…”

 

Shizuo tilted his head, and then understood what Izaya meant. Since Mai, neither of them had gotten into trouble, Shizuo tried his best not to react to the clients; he couldn’t afford to get arrested or in this case-‘injured’ and Izaya had refrained from pissing too many people off for now, even if they most likely deserved it, but he held back on taking too many jobs. They had been careful, more so now than before, they had someone that needed them both. “The asshole got lucky, that’s all, I was too busy yelling at him to notice”

 

Izaya nodded, he didn’t know why he was that concerned, Shizuo was invincible, wasn’t he? Izaya playfully hit him on the shoulder, trying to hide his annoyance at his reaction. “Oh!” he exclaimed suddenly and grabbed his phone from the table, he then handed it to Shizuo before sitting back down in front of Mai, who was getting agitated. Izaya pulled her out of the highchair and sat her down on his legs. “Navigate to the recent video clip”

 

Shizuo sat down opposite and did as instructed, he watched the image, almost laughing at Izaya’s playful voice behind the phone. Then he saw something that made his heart swell with pride, his daughter, his baby girl, was crawling. “Seriously?” Izaya could see the emotions bubbling to the surface. Shizuo chuckled and scooted down to Mai’s level. “Way to go little one, I’m so proud of you” Izaya took his phone back as Shizuo smiled and asked “Must have been pretty exciting” Shizuo was bound to tease him, and usually Izaya would bite back, but the raven avoided his gaze for a moment. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Tch. I fell asleep” Izaya replied with an angry tone

 

“What?”

 

Izaya’s eyes narrowed at him “I fell asleep! For a few minutes, I don’t- I didn’t know I was that tired. I was watching Mai and then- I dozed off without realising. When I woke up, she wasn’t on the blanket anymore, I panicked….she was fine, she hadn’t gone far, I was so impressed that she was crawling that I didn’t think about it again, until now”

 

Shizuo shook his head “Don’t be so angry with yourself, you’re tired, that’s ok you know. Izaya, you work all day, or you have her during the day and you still get up for her during the night. It’s not a surprise that you’re exhausted”

 

Izaya wasn’t convinced “That’s not an excuse, I’ve managed days on little to no sleep for work, this is- and pardon the pun- child’s play”

 

Shizuo laughed

 

“It’s not funny!”

 

Shizuo then placed his hands on Izaya’s shoulders “Oi. Calm down. It’s ok, you fell asleep once, it’s not the end of the world. You’re a light sleeper, you would have woken up if something went wrong. But she’s fine right?”

 

Izaya nodded, what the hell was wrong with him? “I know, and I know that I said we weren’t going to be those kinds of parents, the ones that overreact to every little fall and bump”

 

Something was going on, Shizuo knew Izaya wasn’t usually like this, something was bugging him. “What’s really eating you?”

 

“Nothing” one word, no hesitation. Shizuo frowned

 

“Don’t hide away Izaya, not from me” Izaya passed Mai over and stood up, he placed the medical box back in the cupboard and then there was an arm around his waist. Izaya’s hand came to rest on Shizuo’s own, Mai was quite content with her head over his shoulder, drawling away. “Talk to me”

 

Izaya stiffened and then sighed, he knew Shizuo wasn’t going to let him stay silent. “I had a dream last night” Izaya tilted his head so it rested on Shizuo’s other shoulder. “I was here with Mai, while you were at work, just like our usual schedule, like today. Mai was in her crib and I was getting her food ready. I heard a noise, and as I walked through to the living room, he was here. Sato. He came for Mai…..I- I couldn’t- I couldn’t stop him, he attacked me and- I tried to fend him off but-I couldn’t…”

 

Shizuo growled, tightening his hold on both of them, without hurting Mai and just enough to calm his lover. “It’s ok. you’re ok, Mai is safe, and so are you. it was just a dream; Sato isn’t going to come after us. Satoshi seemed pretty sure”

 

“Haven’t heard from him since Shinra’s”

 

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

 

Izaya nodded, and he turned in Shizuo’s embrace, his forehead coming to rest on his chest. “Sorry”

 

Shizuo frowned. How long had Izaya been worrying about this for? Why hadn’t he said something sooner? Had he been hiding it from him? “Don’t. it’s ok Izaya. He’s not going to get near you both. And if he tries, I’ll rip his damn head off” Shizuo’s grip on Izaya tightened. “No hesitation this time. I’ll kill him” Izaya huffed a laugh, grinning up at him and Shizuo loosened his hold.

 

“You always know just what to say”

 

Shizuo snorted and muttered “Shut up” and then kissed Izaya hard against his lips, Izaya pushed forward and kissed him back, they pulled away and Shizuo locked eyes with him. “Seriously. I won’t let him hurt you”

 

Izaya smiled and then shook his head “It’s not me I’m worried about”

 

“Yeah well. _I_ worry about you. he won’t hurt either of you”

 

Mai decided that she was being ignored for too long and began to cry, although, it came out more of a whine of protest. The two laughed at the sudden reaction. “Mai agrees. I guess” Izaya stated with a smile.

 

“That’s cause she knows I’m right”

 

“She knows her Daddy’s a soldier” Izaya grinned then, seeing Shizuo’s embarrassment

 

“Tch. That’s a bit much”

 

“Ne. if you say so”

 

 

** First words and Walking **

****

It was rare, but Izaya and Shizuo had the day off together, they had planned to take her to a park to get her used to other surroundings. They’d only done so a couple of times before, since both had been worried about her safety. Mai was ten months old now, so it was beginning to become clear that if someone wanted her back, they’d have tried their luck by now. As it were though, it was currently raining, and the news reported storm warnings. Izaya and Shizuo weren’t too annoyed about it, so they decided to play a few games with her, making the most out of this rare family day. Izaya was sprawled out across Shizuo’s legs, Mai was sitting in front of him smiling and laughing as the raven clapped his hands in between her own. Izaya then picked up some of her blocks. “Red. Blue. Green”

 

Shizuo laughed “Do you really want her first words to be a colour?”

 

Izaya tilted his head to look at him, pouting “I wasn’t trying to”

 

“Yes you were. You want her to be unique”

 

“Not true. She can say whatever she wants. Within reason”

 

Shizuo shook his head, like they were going to tell her off for her first word. “Wouldn’t you rather it be one of us?”

 

Izaya shrugged and then went back to playing with the blocks, joining them together, Mai soon copied him. “Doesn’t matter. The word isn’t important. We’ll be proud anyway”

 

Shizuo smiled, that was true. “Soppy flea”

 

Izaya snorted “Shut up”

 

Mai giggled and then opened her mouth, shouting the first word that she seemed to find the easiest to say. “Flea!”

 

Izaya and Shizuo blinked at her, wondering if they’d heard right. “Did she-”

 

Shizuo pulled her up to his chest, lifting her in the air. “That’s what you wanna say little one? Your first word! So proud of you!”

 

Izaya turned on his back, smiling as he watched them. “I guess she thought it was funny” he said

 

Shizuo looked down at him, smiling sheepishly “Whoops. Sorry”

 

Izaya grinned “Well. I said the word didn’t matter” he laughed, Mai turned to him and held her hands out, he pulled her close to him. “I’m still proud of you, little human” Shizuo smiled. It might not have been intentional, but each of them had their nicknames for Mai. While Shizuo referred to her mostly as little one, Izaya seemed to have a habit of called her little human. Mai snuggled against him, clutching at his shirt with her tiny fist. “Somebody wants a nap” Izaya said quietly, he looked at Shizuo, the blond leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. “She’s not the only one”

 

“Does daddy want a nap too?” Izaya joked, despite his own eyes drooping.

 

“No. but I think Iz-nii does”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous”

 

Shizuo smiled at him “No? then why are your eyes closed?”

 

Izaya slapped him on the arm “I’m resting them”

 

“Uh-huh” Shizuo sighed when Izaya opened his eyes again, glaring at him-or at least trying to. “Just sleep already. You look tired. I’ll wake you up in a couple of hours”

 

Izaya’s eyes drooped again, “Promise?”

 

Shizuo nodded “Yes”

 

Izaya’s head lulled to the side and he shimmied down slightly to get comfortable. “Don’t leave the apartment” he mumbled quietly, on the verge of sleep.

 

Shizuo blinked at the sudden vulnerable words, he shook his head, Izaya was tired. _He probably won’t even remember he said it_ Still, Shizuo let his hand thread through Izaya’s hair. “I won’t. I’ll be sat right here when you wake up”

 

……………………….

 

Shizuo had occupied himself by finally reading one of the baby books. He’d read about what to expect around Mai’s age and how to encourage her learning skills, something Izaya was already accustomed with. Around this age, it seemed that Mai might even take her first steps soon, Shizuo was proud that she was learning at a good pace.

 

“Shizu-chan?”

 

Shizuo looked over, he almost laughed, Izaya’s hair was sticking out at ends and he looked so damn adorable, with Mai laying on him. “Hey sleepy head”

 

Izaya groaned in protest, he mumbled something about shut up and then sat up carefully, so as not to wake Mai. “Time?”

 

“Don’t worry. It’s only half two”

 

“Oh” Izaya could have sworn he’d slept longer than an hour and a half. “What are you reading?” he nudged Shizuo’s arm as he leaned back against the armchair.

 

“Thought I’d read one of these books. I’m suppose to right?”

 

“Anything interesting?”

 

Shizuo rolled his eyes “Like you don’t know”

 

Izaya chuckled, he swore sometimes Shizuo thought he knew almost everything. “I might not. I haven’t read that one yet”

 

Shizuo stared at him, wondering if Izaya was teasing him. “It says that she might start taking her first steps soon”

 

Izaya smiled “See. I didn’t know that”

 

Shizuo shook his head “Yeah right”

 

“Honest” Izaya sat up and moved his legs so they curled underneath him and leaned against Shizuo’s shoulder. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes. “I can’t believe our Daughter’s first word was flea”

 

Shizuo chuckled “Yeah. my bad, it slipped out, I didn’t think she’d pick up on it. I haven’t said it in the time we’ve had her. In fact, I think the last time I said it, was when we were at your family’s reunion”

****

Izaya smirked, “Actually, I believe it was our ‘honeymoon’”

 

Shizuo grinned “Oh yeah”

 

Izaya chuckled and passed Mai over to him and stood up. “We should probably think about lunch”

 

“I was going to suggest going out, it’s stopped raining now”

Izaya looked out the window to confirm Shizuo’s words, he nodded. “Let’s get Mai fed here first. She’s been sleeping a lot today; she’ll only wake up and want food right away anyway”

 

…………………….

 

Izaya and Shizuo were getting ready to leave the apartment, Mai was sat on the bed while the raven was making sure their day bag had everything they’d need. Izaya zipped up the rucksack and then smiled at Mai as she crawled across the bed. He shouldered the rucksack and picked her up. “Time for an outing, what’dya say Mai?” Mai clapped her hands with excitement, Izaya wondered if she understood what he meant or whether she was just happy to be spoken to. Izaya dressed her in some light blue trousers and a long white sleeved top with the words Daddy’s little girl. “Now where is that daddy of yours ne?”

 

“Izaya!” Izaya rolled his eyes and then grinned down at Mai

 

“Found him” he chuckled and left the room to make his way down the steps, he made his way into the kitchen. “Problem?”

 

Shizuo sighed and shut the fridge “Outta milk”

 

Izaya raised an eyebrow “That’s it? you called my name for that?”

 

Shizuo shrugged and then grinned, he kissed Izaya on the lips “Just wanted to get you down here faster” Izaya slapped him on the shoulder.

 

“I was making sure we had supplies, and I was getting Mai changed, what were you doing?”

 

Shizuo chuckled “Looking for milk”

 

Izaya clicked his tongue, unsure which one of them had gotten the most distracted. Shizuo then saw the outfit that was on Mai, he smiled, he hadn’t seen that before. Izaya noticed what had made Shizuo smile and kissed him. “Early Christmas present?”

 

Shizuo shook his head and kissed Mai on top of her head. “Daddy’s little girl huh? That true little one? Are you daddy’s little girl?” he smiled, and she giggled, reaching out for him.

 

“Dada!”

 

Izaya and Shizuo gasped, blinking down at her before Shizuo broke into a tearful laugh, lifting Mai up. “Yeah! I’d say so!” Izaya smiled, overwhelmed by Mai’s clever little brain. “I’m proud of you, so so proud”

 

Izaya chuckled “Daddy’s Christmas and birthday present”

 

Shizuo grinned and then kissed Izaya, as he shuffled out of the kitchen with Mai. “Iz-nii might get an early Christmas present later too”

 

Izaya clicked his tongue and followed them out, heading toward the door.

 

 

………………………………

 

Izaya and Shizuo were sat opposite ends of the living room, both smiling brightly as Mai-unsteady on her feet- took her first steps. “Shizu-chan, she’s fine” Izaya grinned at him, Shizuo looked like a nervous wreck every time Mai wobbled. “Go on Mai, walk to Daddy”

 

Shizuo smiled, holding his hands out, ready to hold her once she reached him. He sent Izaya a playful glare for his previous comment and Izaya stuck his tongue out.

 

Time seemed to be going by so fast for them both, it seemed as though it was only two days ago since they had brought her home, now she was one, taking her first steps and communicating vocally, though she was hardly able to form many words. Mai smiled and made grabby motions with her hands once she’d reached her destination. “Dada! Dada!” Izaya could have sworn that Shizuo got emotional every time he heard that word come from their daughter’s lips. Izaya had almost dropped his tea the first time he had heard Iz-nii slip. They were in the kitchen, just him and Mai at the time, Shizuo had already gone to work. Mai had been sat in her highchair, spooning the porridge in her bowl. She had the food all over her face, Izaya chuckled at the sight, joking about how messy her face was getting. She had just looked up at him, with a serious face, and then decided to voice his name.

 

Izaya didn’t think he’d ever been so proud of her; he knew exactly how Shizuo felt the day she was able to say Dada. He thanked god Shizuo had already gone to work, unable to stop the tears in his eyes.

 

Shizuo kissed Mai on her forehead as she finally reached him, she turned around in his hands, deciding to make her way back to Izaya. She got halfway and then fell on her butt, she whinged a little, rubbing her eyes. Izaya got up and took her in his arms and she buried her face in his chest. “Iz-nii…” Izaya smiled, rubbing her back

 

“I think someone is getting tired now” Shizuo stood up and walked over to them, he stroked Mai’s head.

 

“Want me to put her down?”

 

Izaya nodded and was about to pass her to him, but Mai wouldn’t let go of his shirt. “Maybe not” he chuckled quietly; mostly, when Mai was tired or feeling out of sorts, she’d often seek Izaya’s comfort, the raven had no idea why, but it seemed to just happen that way. When she was happy and playful, Shizuo would often be the source of her attention, and sometimes, if she seemed scared too.

 

Shizuo smiled and kissed her head, Mai's hair was growing now, her short black strands covered her head. Mai's mother was dark brown, so they assumed that whoever had been the father, was mostly likely black haired. It wasn't possible, but due to having black hair, Shizuo pointed out that she could possibly look like a mini Izaya one day. "Night little one" Shizuo then moved to kiss Izaya and threaded his hands through his hair. "I love you"

 

Izaya almost laughed at the randomness of the sentiment, they didn't need to say it all the time, so when Shizuo said it, Izaya thought it was amusing. Still.... "Love you too"

 

Shizuo looked back down at Mai with a smile "How did she get so big already?"

 

Izaya figured Shizuo was in one of those sappy moods, since Mai took her first steps earlier in the day, he'd been overwhelmed with emotions. "Wait until she starts school"

 

Shizuo snorted, he clicked his tongue when he realised Izaya was teasing him "Shut up. _That_ is a long way off yet"

 

Izaya chuckled "It's only a couple of years Shizu-chan, she could start in Kindergarten when she's three"

 

Shizuo cringed, he just couldn't imagine the little one in Izaya's arms to- he shook his head, this was way too much for him to think about yet. she'd only just started walking, and Izaya was already talking about schools. "She's too small"

 

Izaya laughed, he knew Shizuo was protective, he hated the thought of watching their little girl go off on her own for the first time, even if it was just kindergarten. "Now she is, but she's growing up Shizu-chan, she won't stay this small forever"

 

Shizuo sighed, he wasn't stupid, of course she was growing up, but he didn't have to like it. She was fucking one for god sake! barely even on her feet. "Let's not talk about it for now"

 

Izaya smiled and then kissed him, and then made his way up the stairs.

 

Izaya placed Mai in her crib, smiling down at her, his finger stroking her cheek. "Daddy's right. You're growing up fast, aren't you?" every now and then, the reality that he was a father still got to him, even now, she was just so precious to them. Izaya never imagined his life turning out this way, he had a family, it seemed so unreal, and yet, it was. "Sleep well, little human" Izaya leaned in and kissed her and then made his way out of the room, making sure there was a gap in the door.

 

****

** Birthday **

****

****

Shizuo glanced around their apartment, strewn with streamers and banners, and a few presents piled in the corner of the living room area. It was true, that for Mai’s first birthday, they hadn’t made a big deal about it, she wasn’t really old enough to remember anyway. So this time, now that she was two, they wanted to make it more special. “I thought you didn’t want this many banners?” he asked as Izaya stood against the couch, watching Mai as she made mess across a large sheet of paper with her nontoxic paints. It was an early birthday gift from Shizuo’s parents, they understood Izaya’s desire to encourage Mai’s learning skills, so the raven was happy. Of course, an old duvet sheet was placed over the floor, so that Mai didn’t get paint everywhere, apart from herself that is.

 

“I didn’t” Izaya grumbled, he turned to Shizuo, suddenly becoming distracted by his attire. The blond was wearing a short sleeved navy shirt with black khakis.

 

Shizuo raised an eyebrow at him, Izaya glanced away for a moment, before snorting. Shizuo chuckled and carried on with their conversation. “What’s with the mass of pink everywhere?”

 

Izaya sighed and pointed toward the kitchen “I made the mistake of letting my sisters _and_ Erika plan some of the party”

 

Shizuo simply laughed and scanned the room “Bad choice I guess”

 

“Exceptionally”

 

Shizuo noticed that Izaya was avoiding looking directly at him, he grinned and walked up behind him. He wrapped his arms around Izaya and whispered against his ear. “Something on your mind there, Izaya?”

 

Izaya elbowed him “Shut up. It’s your fault”

 

“How so?” Shizuo was still pressed against him, his breath sending little shivers down Izaya’s spine.

 

“You look too damn good in that. idiot”

 

Shizuo chuckled “Sorry about that” his hands splayed over Izaya’s stomach, raising his shirt slightly. Izaya was wearing a red tight fitting V-neck, with black faded jeans. “Like you’re one to talk”

 

“I didn’t do it on purpose”

 

“And I did?”

 

“Who knows”

 

Shizuo smiled and pulled Izaya closer, his voice lowering “Izaya” he purred “I want to take you, so hard right now”

 

Izaya bit his lip, tensing. He glanced down at Mai, but she was oblivious. “It’s Mai’s birthday. We can’t. that’s just wrong”

 

“I want you. I want to take you upstairs, fuck you hard and make you scream my name as you come”

 

Izaya shivered, his legs almost buckled with Shizuo’s words alone. “Shit” Izaya said breathlessly. He shook his head but was leaning back against Shizuo’s chest. “You’re relentless, you know that?”

 

“Am I?” Shizuo moved his hands around Izaya’s waist and ran them up his sides. Shizuo bit on his ear and Izaya let out a little quiet moan. “Izaya….let’s go upstairs…”

 

Izaya finally nodded, he glanced down at Mai, but she was too busy with her painting, and his sisters and Erika were distracted in the kitchen. “We don’t have long”

 

“Not a problem”

 

The two practically ran up the stairs, Izaya grabbed Shizuo’s shirt and pulled him into the bedroom, their lips crashing together. Their kisses were fast, desperate and fierce. Shizuo shoved Izaya against the wall, causing the shorter male to hiss with a pleasurable sound. Shizuo pinned his wrists to the wall above his head and harshly sucked on his neck. Izaya pushed against him and they quickly removed themselves of their clothes. Shizuo was on him again, pushing him harder against the wall. Their erections rubbed against each other, causing each of them to gasp. “Izaya….” Shizuo moaned quietly, grabbing at Izaya’s hips in desperation.

 

Izaya grinded against him, the friction made him almost buckle, he clawed at Shizuo’s back. He lifted one leg up and Shizuo reached under it to hold it in place. “Fuck me Shizu-chan”

 

Shizuo grunted, almost slamming Izaya’s back against the wall in his urgency. “Wait…, preparation….Izaya”

 

“No need. No time”

 

Shizuo twitched, his need throbbing at Izaya’s words. But he couldn’t will himself to comply. “Izaya. I want you. but I don’t want to hurt you”

 

Izaya groaned, pushing off the wall for a moment as he hooked his other leg over Shizuo’s hips. “Like I said. Relentless. Last night was enough ne?”

 

Shizuo clenched his eyes shut, if Izaya kept talking like that…. “Shit”

 

Izaya grinned and kissed him hard. “Fuck me Shizu-chan” he said again, pure lust in his eyes. “Fuck me hard” Shizuo couldn’t take it anymore, he pushed him back against the wall, found Izaya’s entrance. With his legs over his hips, it was easy to push inside him, and he did. He thrust into Izaya in one smooth motion. Izaya groaned and dug his nails into Shizuo’s back. “Fuck!”

 

Shizuo stilled, he knew this was a bad idea. “Izaya?”

 

“Oh god…”

 

Shizuo frowned and was about to pull out, but Izaya stopped him. “It doesn’t hurt. You just- shit…you hit my prostate already…I thought I was gonna come”

 

Shizuo rolled his eyes, but he chuckled a little. “God dammit. I thought I’d hurt you, idiot” Izaya pulled him closer, he moved against the wall, sliding himself against Shizuo’s cock. “Shit!”

 

Izaya chuckled “Come on. Take me, make good on your promise…Shizu-chan”

 

Shizuo growled and lay his palm flat against the wall, his other hand grabbing Izaya’s hip to keep him in place. He thrust hard into him; slowness forgotten as he repeated his actions consistently. Izaya clenched his eyes shut, his head thrown back as he cried out in pleasure with each powerful thrust. Shizuo grabbed his shoulder and bit down as he pounded into him, repeatedly slamming him against the wall. Izaya placed his forehead against Shizuo’s shoulder, mimicking his actions, he had to stop himself from screaming. “I always make good on my promises” Shizuo said breathlessly and then fucked him harder, faster….Izaya snapped his eyes open when he felt Shizuo’s hand stroke him repeatedly, no stillness in his moves.

 

“Shizu-chan!! Ah! Ah!...fuck! I’m gonna-” Izaya tensed and cried his name again as he came fast, white hot across Shizuo’s stomach, Shizuo slammed into him again as he came inside, pushing at his prostate. Izaya gasped and twitched in an effort to ride his orgasm out longer. Shizuo moaned his name, finally slowing down his moves. He let up his hold on the informant, Izaya’s feet touched the floor as Shizuo pulled out of him. Shizuo held onto him, both panting heavily, Izaya felt as if he was going to collapse. “Shit….that was….”

 

Shizuo let out a shaky breath against his neck, he felt as though he were coming back to his senses. “Sorry…”

 

Izaya managed a frown “Don’t be”

 

“I didn’t hurt you?”

 

Izaya grinned as he stared into his eyes “Only in a good way”

 

Shizuo blushed a little and then kissed him, more tenderly then a minute ago. “I hate losing myself like that”

 

Izaya smiled “I know. but you know that I would tell you if it hurts, right?”

 

“Would you? you are pretty stubborn”

 

Izaya nodded, and he really meant that. when it came to Shizuo, the last thing he wanted was to hide any pain that Shizuo himself was causing, unintentionally of course. “I would. I wouldn’t hide that from you”

 

Shizuo nodded, he could tell Izaya was serious about that. “All right” Shizuo tested Izaya’s balance, releasing him from his hold. “Ready to go back downstairs?”

 

Izaya smirked “Are you? can’t have you jumping me in front of everyone now, can we?”

 

Shizuo growled “I think I’ll be fine. You started it anyway. You gave me that look”

 

Izaya blinked “I don’t have _a look_ ”

 

Shizuo laughed “Yeah. you do. You don’t notice that? I can tell you know”

 

Izaya shoved him “Shut up. I don’t have a sex look”

 

Shizuo found Izaya’s flustering adorable, he honestly had no idea. “Aw. I can’t believe you don’t know. when you started checking me out, your eyes dilate, and you tend to bite your lip a little”

 

Izaya snorted and shoved him again, unable to help the blush on his cheeks “Fuck you”

 

Shizuo laughed again, unfazed by Izaya’s words. “I think it was the other way, don’t you think?”

 

Izaya glared at him, but his eyes were playful as he began to redress himself after cleaning himself up. He grumbled something about being readable and ‘not having a look’ causing Shizuo to smile. So. Adorable.

 

As they made their way out of the door- the open door…. Shizuo flinched, Izaya groaned in dismay. “Great”

 

Shizuo squirmed a little on his feet as they entered the hallway. “Forgot to shut the door”

 

“Anyone could have come up here…We should have better control” Izaya was smirking though. He then grimaced as he looked over at Shizuo, “I wasn’t that loud, was I?”

 

Shizuo scratched the back of his head “No?”

 

Izaya rolled his eyes, he knew it himself that he was very vocal. “Your fault. Damn you and your promises” Shizuo chuckled and they made their way down the stairs. “I think my back is bruised”

 

Shizuo didn’t worry,  he believed Izaya wasn’t actually hurt. “You’re welcome”

 

Izaya clicked his tongue “Animal”

 

Once they reached the bottom step, Erika and his sisters were in the living room. Mai was working on her next mess of paint, she seemed to have barely noticed their absence, to which they were grateful. Izaya noticed that Mairu and Kururi were completely avoiding their gaze, unable to even look their way. Erika, however, was grinning from ear to ear, she looked directly at them. “When the bed is rocking, don’t come a knocking” she said teasingly “Although, by the sound of it, it was more like the wall”

 

Izaya covered his face with his palm, how embarrassing, they had clearly heard him. “Shut up..”

 

“So not cool” Mairu mumbled, clearly horrified that she had heard her own brother having sex.

 

Erika was the only one that seemed not to care, she was still grinning “Not gonna lie, that was hot”

 

Izaya groaned and hid his face more as he stalked hastily to the kitchen.

 

Erika looked at Shizuo, he was blushing and barely unable to look anywhere but the floor. He mumbled an apology to the twins and found Erika’s unfazed act even worse. He quickly made his way into the kitchen, Izaya glared at him from beside the countertop. “Don’t be mad at me” Shizuo laughed “You could have muffled your screams or something”

 

Izaya narrowed his eyes, but he was somewhat pouting. “I _tried_ ”

 

Shizuo found that even funnier, he walked up to him, placing his hands either side of him. “Guess we’re both to blame”

 

“Satisfied though, right?” Izaya suddenly smirked at him

 

“Hell yeah”

 

Izaya chuckled “Good” Izaya shoved him away “Now, let’s focus on our daughter’s birthday, shall we? Let’s just be grateful she didn’t hear us”

 

Shizuo nodded.

 

 

Not long after, their invited friends began to arrive, and after a thousand apologies to his sisters, the twins had forgotten about it.

 

Mai had been cleaned up from all the paint and was dressed in a light blue dress, her black hair reaching her ears, she had a white bow in her hair. Shizuo was sat on the floor with her, helping her to open up presents. Their friends and family sitting around the living room, each awaiting her to open their gift. Mai happily tore open a larger wrapped box. It was a black bike, small enough for her to fit on, it didn’t have pedals or anything, just a simple push bike that she could move with her feet. Izaya looked over at Celty, she hunched her shoulders slightly, everyone knew the gift was from her. “Get her a real one, Shizu-chan would freak out, it’d be hilarious”

 

Shizuo snapped his head up, eyes scowling at his lover “Shut up. Like you wouldn’t”

 

Izaya chuckled “Like she would get her a real one. Mai seems to like it anyway”

 

Shizuo smiled down at Mai who made little ooo sounds.

 

The next gift that was opened was a plastic case with a red cross on the front. Shizuo rolled his eyes as Mai looked curiously at the case. Shizuo helped her open it and she took out an item that looked very much like a scalpel. Immediately, Shizuo snatched it off her, causing her to jump slightly. Izaya chuckled. “Shizu-chan. It’s not real” Shizuo shifted, embarrassed at his overreaction. Though Izaya looked over at Shinra to clarify. “Right?”

 

Shinra nodded, but he sighed dramatically “I wanted to get her a real set of tools, but Celty wouldn’t let me”

 

Izaya’s eyes widened a little “Seriously? You were going to give my daughter a _real_ scalpel?”

 

Shinra pouted “What? I was four when I did my first dissection”

 

Shizuo narrowed his eyes and said “And look how you turned out”

 

Shinra whined “Hey!”

 

Everyone laughed at his defeated expression. More presents were opened, she’d gotten some clothes- courtesy of Masaomi, who’d gotten her a hoodie like his own. And Saki, who had gotten her a light pink skirt outfit. Anri and Mikado had gotten her some baby books, her first counting books and some animal ones. It was the most practical thing she had gotten, at least, from their friends. Namie had even made the effort to get her a gift, she’d gotten her a toy phone that made rather annoying noises when the buttons were pressed. Izaya wondered if she’d gotten that just to irritate him, which she probably did, judging by the grin she sent his way. There were plenty of presents that suggested Mai had a lot of influences in her life, but they meant well; like Erika’s gift for example- the anime DVD collection practically screamed baby’s first anime, though it didn’t actually state that.

 

Once all the presents were opened, they stood in the kitchen, Mai was sat at the table on her booster seat with a chocolate cake in front of her. Izaya lit the two candles, careful to make sure Mai’s hands were at a safe distance from the flames. Shizuo was on the other side of them, ready to help her blow out the candles. The group of friends sang happy birthday to her and she took a breath and blew out the two flames, Shizuo blinked, he didn’t even have to help. The cake was sliced into small triangles and Namie helped Shinra pour out the wine for everyone.

 

Mai was sat on Mairu’s lap, Kururi next to her. Mairu praised her as she helped Mai make a fist. Shizuo glanced over at them from his seat near Izaya. “The hell are you doing with my child?” he asked gruffly

 

Mairu grinned at him “Relax Shizu-chan. We’re just pretending”

 

Shizuo snorted, rolling his eyes “Quit teaching my daughter to punch people”

 

Izaya chuckled, yeah, Mai definitely had a lot of bad influences in her life. But he also knew that she had a lot of people that she could depend on, they’d look out for her.

 

 

……………………..

 

“So. You’re telling me, that if Mai asked you for a switch-blade like yours, you wouldn’t let her?” Shinra leaned over on the couch, he was clearly drunk now, most of their friends had gone home, it was just him, Celty and Izaya’s sisters now.

 

Izaya shook his head “She doesn’t even know I _have_ a switch-blade, and no. not even if she cried and sulked for eternity”

 

Shinra pouted “That’s just cruel”

 

Izaya shook his head, not liking the idea of his daughter walking around brandishing a switchblade. He wasn’t against her learning self-defence, but he didn’t want her to grow up feeling like she had to have a weapon.

 

“Izaya and I don’t want that for her. We want her to have a normal life, as normal as possible. We’re trying hard not to let our habits become an influence on her”

 

Izaya smiled, he couldn’t have said it better himself. He knew Shinra was drunk, and the idiot was only teasing. [I think that’s nice. She doesn’t need weapons. Besides, there are plenty of us that can keep her out of trouble]

 

Shizuo growled, clenching his fists “I’ll ram their ass into the ground if anyone so much as looks at her wrong”

 

Izaya shook his head at his lover’s protective streak, though he knew that if someone laid a finger on his little girl, Izaya himself wouldn’t hesitate to make their lives miserable.

 

Mai was sat on the floor, playing with some of her new toys, she seemed to get annoyed at something and threw the plastic phone down. “Ass!”

 

Everyone blinked at her, Izaya glared over at Shizuo, the blond flinched. “Wonderful” Izaya said with a sigh.

 

“Whoops”

 

Mairu giggled “Looks like she was taking an annoying phone call there” judging by Mai’s scowling sulky face. “Who were you talking to sweetie?”

 

Mai looked up at her and sighed dramatically. “Stupid human…” she muttered loudly, shaking her head.

 

All eyes were now on Izaya, that statement could have only come from him, only he ever used the term human. Izaya smiled sheepishly. Shizuo clicked his tongue. “Well done”

 

Izaya rolled his eyes, like his statement was worse than ‘ass’

 

 

…………………….

 

Izaya picked Mai up from the couch, she was asleep now, the day’s events tired her out. “I think she had fun today” he chuckled, looking over at Shizuo as he came in with two steaming mugs. Shizuo nodded with a smile, looking down at their daughter, who now had her arms wrapped around Izaya’s neck. Their friends had gone home, leaving the three alone to have some family time.

 

Shizuo glanced at all the presents that were yet to be put away. “I kind of feel sorry for her. Our friends are hardly the greatest of role models, makes me wonder what kind of person she’s going to grow up to be”

 

Izaya laughed “They mean well I think. And she’ll be her own person, she’ll find her own personality eventually”

 

Shizuo nodded with a smile as he placed the mugs on the coffee table. “Wanna watch a film or something? Haven’t done that in a while, since Mai’s asleep anyway”

 

Izaya nodded and made his way upstairs, he placed Mai in her new child’s bed. No longer needing a crib, and he couldn’t believe how much she’d grown, time seemed like it was passing by so fast. “Sounds ridiculous, but I wish you could stay small forever” he chuckled to himself and kissed the top of her head. He made his way into the bedroom to find Shizuo getting changed. He took his clothes off in favour of something more comfortable, a pair of black shorts and a lose black jumper. Shizuo had already slipped into some grey joggers, leaving the top half of his body bare.

 

“What did you wanna watch?” Shizuo asked as they made their way back downstairs, they cradled the mugs in their hands and Izaya shifted to curl up against Shizuo’s side. Shizuo switched the tv on.

 

“You pick” Izaya finally replied as he sipped on his tea.

 

“I’ll see what’s on” Shizuo began flicking through the guide on the movie screen. Most of them were halfway through already. “That was popular for a while, at least, I heard people talk about it”

 

Izaya chuckled “Do you even know what that’s about?”

 

Shizuo shrugged “Not really, I don’t really pay much attention. I guess its some kind of sappy romance thing”

 

Izaya laughed then “If you say so. I wouldn’t quite call it _sappy_ ”

 

Shizuo sighed in annoyance “Just tell me what it’s about”

 

Izaya grinned “Put it on and find out”

 

Shizuo looked at him “You know, don’t you?”

 

Izaya continued to laugh “I’ve read the book”

 

Shizuo raised an eyebrow “There’s a book?”

 

“There’s three. I’ve only read the first one, but I never watched any of the films”

 

“Any good? The book I mean”

 

Izaya suppressed a grin, unsure how Shizuo would even feel about it “The book was good. When a book is made into a film, it’s either just as good or it ruins it” Izaya nodded to the tv “It’s about to start, so if you wanna watch it…”

 

“What’s it about? Just give me a clue, it’s not gonna be one of those confusing flashback films is it?”

 

Izaya snorted “Hardly. Let’s just say, I’m wondering if we’re going to even get to finish the film”

 

Shizuo shifted on the couch, Izaya looked up at him with a grin, Shizuo gave him a questioning look. “Meaning?”

 

“Its contents might be rather….erotic, to some”

 

Shizuo’s eyes glinted with a little desire “Oh. It’s _that_ kind of movie”

 

Izaya chuckled “Yes. Though it’s not everyone’s taste”

 

“Is it yours?”

 

Izaya smirked at him “Remember the socks?”

 

Shizuo thought back and blushed slightly when he had tried to buy handcuffs. “Oh”

 

“BDSM. A woman is basically introduced to that kind of world, by a multi-millionaire”

 

“Sounds like something you’d like”

 

Izaya lay his head on Shizuo’s shoulder. “You’re more than enough to handle”

 

Shizuo laughed “All right. Let’s watch it then”

 

“If you want. But, don’t say I didn’t warn you”

 

“You don’t think I’ll last to the end, do you?”

 

Izaya shook his head “Not a chance”

 

“We’ll see”

 

……………………..

 

The two were almost halfway through the movie, Izaya could feel Shizuo tense every so often, and he kept shifting in his seat. Izaya chuckled to himself, he glanced down and his hand came to rest over the bulge in the blond’s joggers. He leaned up to whisper in Shizuo’s ear. “You’re not gonna make it, are you?”

 

Shizuo took a shuddery breath, Izaya’s fingers caressing him through the fabric. Shizuo grabbed hold of him and pinned him to the couch in one swift move. Izaya looked up at him with lustful eyes, he leant up and bit Shizuo’s bottom lip. “Your fault”

 

“I don’t mind taking the blame” Izaya smirked and Shizuo grinded against him as their lips met in a passionate tongue clashing kiss.

**AN: I’ll let you use your imagination this time** 😉

 

 

 

 

 

        


	5. Sick

Shizuo's eyes snapped open in the darkness of their bedroom, he looked to his right, Izaya shifted out of the bed, Mai was crying again. Four times now. It was unlike her to wake up so often nowadays, she was almost three, she rarely cried this much anymore. At least, not for small matters, she was a pretty happy child, during the day she would just play and run around the apartment, sometimes she tried to have little conversations. Izaya had begun trying to teach her to vocalise proper sentences and Shizuo would run around with her in the early evening before bedtime. "I'll go this time" Shizuo said as he swung his legs over the bed.

"Don't worry about it. You have work soon, I'll go" Izaya made his way out of the room, Shizuo sometimes worried that Izaya wasn't getting enough sleep, he'd tend to Mai almost every time she woke during the night. Then again, it had been that way since they brought her home, since Izaya was used to being up late anyway, it made sense. Now that Mai had a regular sleeping pattern, he had hoped that he'd be able to take some of the late night wake ups off Izaya, and there wasn’t many anymore.

"Stubborn flea" Shizuo mumbled, and then he heard a yell that made his heart drop.

"Shizuo!" Izaya's tone sounded off, desperate. Shizuo leapt from the bed and ran down to the room next to theirs. Shizuo stopped in the doorway, Izaya was holding Mai but he looked worried. Izaya glanced up at him. "Something's wrong"

"What? what is it?" Shizuo walked over to them

"She feels really warm, hand me the thermometer" Izaya tried to keep the panic out of his voice, he sat down on the soft chair that was in the corner. Shizuo handed him the requested item, his heart beating faster, Mai was crying but it wasn't a usual cry. Izaya tried to sooth her as he placed the thermometer inside her ear. He took it out and bit his lip with worry. “39. She has a fever!” Izaya quickly started to remove her onesie until her skin was exposed to the cool air. He then stood up and handed her to Shizuo, running into their room to grab his phone. He waited for the person to pick up, glancing at the clock, it was 5am, but he didn’t give a shit. “Shinra it’s Mai, she’s-” Izaya took a deep breath, he had to calm down. “I think she has a fever, her temperature is 39c,- I don’t know! she’s been waking up a lot tonight, but I’ve only just now discovered the fever” Izaya sighed, as he sat on the bed, biting his thumb nail. “Can you just- can you come and look at her?” of course he knew Shinra would, but the doctor probably found his worrying a little amusing. “Thank you”

Izaya stood up and quickly made his way into Mai’s room, Shizuo was trying to sooth her and keep calm himself, he looked at the doorway when he realised Izaya was with him. “She’s not crying anymore”

Izaya frowned and took her in his arms and carried her to their room, just as he was about to put her on the bed, she vomited, Izaya grimaced as it landed all over his bare chest. It was then she started to cry again, it tugged at his heart. “Shhh. It’s ok, its ok, you’ll be all right”

“What’s wrong with her?”

Izaya ignored him and went into the bathroom, he ran the cold water and placed a small washcloth under it. He began to clean her and ran the cloth over her body, hoping that would at least help her feel more comfortable. Shizuo made his way into the bathroom, he sighed and took Mai from Izaya so the raven could get himself clean. “Shinra is on his way” was all he said as he wiped himself clean.

“What’s wrong with her?”

Izaya bit his lip and proceeded to dunk the cloth in the water again, he then took Mai back from Shizuo and placed her on the bed. He kept running the cloth over her body. “I know. I know sweetheart, I’m trying my best…Shinra will be here soon”

Shizuo’s chest tightened, he couldn’t stand seeing their daughter in such discomfort, and he was worried that Izaya wasn’t handling it well, emotionally speaking. “Izaya, what’s-”

Izaya spun around, his hands clenching to fists. “I don’t know! alright? I don’t know! she’s sick! And I don’t know how to help her!” Shizuo frowned and grabbed hold of Izaya’s shoulders.

“Hey! Calm down. Izaya, it’s ok, you don’t have to know everything, you’re not a doctor. Don’t feel like this is your fault because you don’t know” Izaya gritted his teeth and hands came up to grip Shizuo’s arms. “Calm down, she’ll be all right….”

Izaya felt awful, he thought he should know, that he should know how to help her. He hated this, for once, he had no idea what to do. “I want to help her….but I can’t, I don’t know what to do, Shizu-chan…..I don’t know”

Shizuo rubbed his hands over the informant’s shoulders. “It’s ok. You can’t expect to know everything. You called Shinra didn’t you? you knew she had a fever, probably even before you checked her temperature. She’s going to be ok”

Izaya took a shaky breath as he sat back on the bed, placing Mai on his lap, close to his chest. The raven kissed the top of her head, he closed his eyes, a tear slipped down his cheek. “I’m sorry little human, you’re going to be fine, uncle Shinra is coming”

Shizuo shook his head, it hurt him, just as much. Knowing he couldn’t ease their suffering; all he could do was be here. he then frowned and knelt down on the floor in front of them. “Hey” Shizuo touched Mai’s back gently with his fingertips. “Her skin is a little red here”

Izaya opened his eyes, looking down at Shizuo “What?”

“The skin, it’s all red on her lower back”

Mai fussed and moved around in Izaya’s arms as he shifted her so that he could see for himself. “It looks like a rash…., how long has that been there? what if- what if it was there all night and I didn’t-”

Shizuo frowned “Don’t. you couldn’t have known, so don’t start blaming yourself”

“It could be anything! I should have checked!”

Shizuo stood up “You didn’t have a reason to check! She’s only just started with a fever Izaya!”

“I’m the one that read all the books! I’m the one that should have known!”

Shizuo growled then “Unlike me you mean?”

Izaya glared at him, standing up with Mai, Shizuo then snorted and began to walk away “Shizu-chan- that’s not what I meant!” Shizuo left the room, only to barge past Shinra, who had let himself in with the spare key they had given him.

“Hey Shizuo-” Shinra looked at the retreating blond as he made his way down the stairs. “Shizuo!” Shinra tilted his head in worry and then ran into the bedroom. “Izaya, what’s wrong with-” Shinra cut himself off when Izaya looked at him, eyes narrowed a little, but Shinra could see the glistening tears in them. “What’s wrong?”

Izaya shook his head, ignoring him. “It’s Mai. Shinra, something isn’t right. She isn’t crying a lot, her temperature isn’t going down and we just discovered a rash” Izaya set her down on the bed, Shinra frowned and set his black case down on the floor.

“How’s her appetite recently?”

Izaya placed a loose grey shirt on, feeling a little awkward since he was only in shorts. “I don’t know much about yesterday, but the day before she was fine. I’m sure Shizu-chan would have said something if her eating was off”

Shinra checked her temperature and shone a light in her eyes, however, she seemed to shy away immediately and let out a loud cry of protest. Izaya jumped at the sudden noise, he batted Shinra’s hand away immediately on instinct. “I didn’t hurt her on purpose. Whoa, and I thought Shizuo was the protective one”

Izaya realised what had happened and he shuffled backwards, sitting on the bed. “Sorry” he mumbled, slightly embarrassed by his overreaction. Still, he brought Mai onto his lap and then Shinra checked her back. She was gripping onto Izaya’s shirt and trying to squirm away from Shinra’s hands. “I know you’re uncomfortable Mai, I’m sorry sweetheart, it’ll be over soon”

Shinra smiled at Izaya’s soothing voice, and then switched the conversation. “So, speaking of Shizuo just now, what’s up with you two? Been a while since I last saw you argue like that”

“I’m surprised Celty isn’t here” Shinra looked at him, he then rolled his eyes

“Don’t change the subject. Why were you arguing anyway? You’re not gonna tell me that you-ow!” Izaya kicked him in the shin, giving him a glare and gestured to Mai. “Oh. Yeah, sorry, never mind”

Izaya sighed “It wasn’t a big deal. He took something I said the wrong way, that’s all”

Shinra then searched in his case. “Well. For your information, Celty is here, she’s downstairs. So she’s probably talking to Shizuo right now”

“Is she going to be ok?” Shinra could hear the worried tone coming from his friend, he’d never heard him this frightened.

“Look. It could have been a lot more serious than it actually is”

Izaya frowned “What’s that suppose to mean?”

“She’s got meningitis”

Izaya’s eyes widen “W-what?”

Shinra sat down on the bed “I don’t think its bacterial, which is why I said it could have been worse. But the signs are there, she’s most likely got a viral meningitis, it’s not as serious, I think we caught it in time. I’ll prescribe you some medication she can take, it’ll reduce the fever and help fight the infection. Izaya, this is contagious, so I really hope you had your vaccines when you were younger” Izaya pulled Mai close to him when she started crying, she clung to his shirt and he rubbed her back. “Izaya?”

“Yeah. I think so”

“You think so?”

“I probably did”

Shinra sighed in frustration, though he couldn’t blame him, Izaya was worried. “What about Shizuo?”

“How the hell should I know?” Izaya snorted “He’s probably immune”

A sudden voice came from the doorway “Immune to what?”

The arguing ravens look up to see Shizuo and Celty in the doorway. Izaya looked away from him, so Shinra decided he needed to answer. “Mai’s condition”

Shizuo tensed as he entered the room “What about it?” since Izaya wasn’t even looking at him, he got the feeling it was bad. “Shinra!” his fists were clenched now

“She’ll be all right. But she has meningitis”

Shizuo froze and then growled “Don’t say that like it’s no big deal!”

Izaya felt Mai cling to him tighter, he could still feel how warm she was. Izaya glared up at Shizuo, he knew the blond was worried, but yelling about it wasn’t going to help calm Mai. “Shizuo, shut up”

Everyone seemed to turn their attention to him then, Shizuo gritted his teeth. “Hell no! She’s our Daughter! Are you-”

Izaya got up and pried Mai’s hands away and handed her to Shinra. He then proceeded toward Shizuo and shoved him toward the door. “Outside”

Shinra and Celty watch them go and exchange a look of concern. Shinra then sat Mai on the bed, he gave her a small dose of liquid nurofen. She pulled a face but accepted it. “Good girl” Shinra said gently as he stroked her cheek.

Izaya and Shizuo were now downstairs, Shizuo tried to calm down, Izaya watched him as he paced around the living room. “Shizu-chan…”

“Oh. Shizu-chan again now is it?”

Izaya narrowed his eyes, why was the blond being so frustrating, they needed to be there for Mai. They rarely ever argued. “Fine. If you want to be that way”

“What way!? Our Daughter is sick!”

“I know that! but you yelling in front of her isn’t going to make it better, you were scaring her!” the minute those words left his mouth, Izaya regretted them. Shizuo growled angrily and stormed toward the door. “Shizuo!” Izaya ran after him and leapt onto his back, preventing him from leaving.

“Get off!”

“No! I’m sorry about what I said! I’m sorry for making you feel useless!”

“Izaya-”

“I’m sorry Shizuo! I didn’t mean to upset you, Mai needs you! I need you!”

“Izaya!” Shizuo moved back into the living room, prying Izaya from his back, he grabbed him by the arms.

Izaya was shaking now “Don’t leave! I- I can’t do this without you….”

Shizuo tightened his grip and pulled him toward his chest, wrapping his arms around him. “Calm down. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get angry, I’m just so worried”

Izaya balled his hands into fists behind Shizuo’s back “I’m scared too…..”

Shizuo sighed, his hold tightening as he took a deep breath “It’s ok. I’m not going anywhere”

“I’m sorry”

“It’s ok. I’m sorry too”

“Hey guys?” Shinra called, the two pull away from each other and look toward the stairs. Shinra and Celty were at the bottom. “Everything good down here?”

Izaya nodded and moved away from Shizuo, the blond sighed and they stepped forward toward their friends. “Mai?” Izaya asked first.

Shinra smiled a little. “Well, I managed to get her comfortable enough that she’s asleep for now. Keep checking her temperature and watch for the rash. It might spread around her neck and arms. If her temperature goes above 40 I really advice calling an ambulance. I don’t think it will” Shinra then handed Izaya a box. “It’s nurofen for kids. It’ll help reduce the fever and help with any discomfort. typically, this type of viral goes away on its own, should start seeing a change in a week. But, just a precaution, I think you both need to stay here, no work”

The two agree immediately, as if they were going to work when their little girl was sick. “So are we prone to infection if we’ve had the vaccines?” Shizuo asked

Shinra tilted his head “It’s a little unlikely, but there’s a small chance” Shinra then frowned at Izaya “If you had them”

Izaya returned the frown, Shinra’s big mouth, he didn’t need Shizuo worrying about him too. He turned to the blond, of course, whom was now staring at him. “What?”

“You didn’t get your shot?”

“I think I did. But I’m not a hundred percent certain, I can’t remember”

“Well I did,” Shinra said “pretty sure we all had them at school, you and I went to the same middle school, soooo”

Izaya sighed, “I was taking care of my sisters by then, so I honestly can’t remember, I probably did. I know my sisters did”

“I definitely remember getting mine” Shizuo exclaimed, causing Izaya to roll his eyes.

“I’m only concerned. That’s all. You know your immune system is terrible Izaya” Shinra told him sternly.

Izaya clicked his tongue “Shut up. But, thanks for coming here….Mai is ok, right?”

Shinra nodded and placed a hand on Izaya’s shoulder. “I think she’ll be fine. Just still keep an eye on her, keep her fluids up and give her that medication as per the instructions”

“Thanks” Shizuo said

Celty walked toward them, she had been wondering what to say or do. Having not much experience with small people, but Mai was part of the family, so she was concerned too. [I’m here if you need me]

Shizuo smiled and Izaya nodded as he began to make his way up the stairs. Shizuo saw the two friends out and then locked the door. He turned off all the lights and then made his way upstairs. He sighed, he had never been so frightened and worried, Mai was everything to them. Shizuo stepped into the bedroom, his eyes immediately locking onto Izaya.

The raven was just standing beside the bed, looking down at a sleeping Mai. Izaya was biting his lower lip, his arms wrapping around his small frame. Shizuo stepped behind and offered his own arms, wrapping them securely around Izaya. “She’ll be ok”

Izaya’s head leaned back against Shizuo’s shoulder. “I’m sorry”

Shizuo kissed his neck and then his face, then his head. “Nothing to be sorry for. We were both worried”

Izaya turned in his arms and wrapped his hands around Shizuo’s neck, his face burying in the crook of it. “I should never have said that”

Shizuo’s hands came to rest on Izaya’s upper back. “And I shouldn’t have stormed off like that, that wasn’t fair”

“She’ll be ok” it was a statement, as if Izaya needed to say it, to reassure himself.

“She will” Shizuo pushed Izaya back a little so he could look at him. He then pressed his lips against Izaya’s in another desperate attempt to apologize. Izaya leaned into him, mimicking the kiss. They pulled away and touched foreheads. “Let’s get some sleep. I’ll text Tom in a few hours, let him know that I won’t be at work for a while”

Izaya nodded “Are you sure?”

Shizuo smiled a little, “Doctors orders, right?”

Izaya huffed a laugh “Right. I suppose I can give Namie a few days off. There isn’t any information that needs immediate attention anyway”

“Good” They both look at the sleeping infant on the bed. “Shall we let her carry on sleeping with us?”

Izaya nodded “Probably best. I don’t want to wake her up now”

 

One week later…….

Mai was slowly getting better, much to Izaya’s and Shizuo’s relief, she was smiling more and would sometimes play for a little while, her fever had gone down and even though the rash had spread, there were signs of it fading. Her appetite was still on and off though, and she’d sometimes outright refuse to eat anything. Still, they were just relieved she was really going to be ok.

Shizuo sat up in their bed, he stretched his arms up and yawned. That had been the best night sleep he’d had in a while, Mai hadn’t interrupted their sleep during the night, and since she was back in her own bed now, it was a lot more comfortable. He looked to his right, Izaya wasn’t there, not really surprising. Shizuo swung his legs over the bed and stood up, he scratched his head tiredly and then proceeded toward their bathroom.

The door opened and Shizuo froze at the sight in the entryway. “Are you all right?” The blond was more than a little concerned, Izaya was extremely pale and his cheeks were flush. The raven smiled at him, though it wasn’t very convincing since he was holding himself up by the frame of the door. “What’s wrong?”

Izaya shook his head “Nothing, I’m fine Shizu-chan” he tried to laugh but it didn’t quite come to that as he started coughing.

“Are you sick?”

“Ne. No, just a tickle, I just woke up sooo~” Izaya made his way to the bed, and Shizuo could see how much of a struggle that was for him, he could barely stand on his feet.

“Izaya, you really don’t look so good”

Izaya shook his head, wincing a little at the sudden movement. “Don’t worry. I’m fine, you worry too much”

Shizuo frowned, Izaya was not going to convince him this time. “I’m not kidding. You look awful”

“Ah. Well thanks” another meant to be laugh turned into a cough, Izaya cradled his stomach as he did so and then his eyes widened as he felt nausea creep up and then he ran to the bathroom.

Shizuo followed him and caught the sight of his lover collapsing to his knees, retching before finally vomiting. “That’s what you call fine?!” Shizuo yelled

Izaya cradled his head with one arm while the other held himself up over the toilet. He spat and coughed again. “Ngh….fuck…”

Shizuo growled and then sighed, he waited until he was sure the raven was done before lifting him up from under his arms. Of course, Izaya tried to fight him, but Shizuo wasn’t having it this time. He then ran the cold tap on the sink and poured him some water. “Here”

“No…” Izaya tried to bat his hand away

“It’s just water. You need something to drink Izaya” Izaya shook his head but Shizuo shoved it toward him. “Don’t be an idiot. You’ve just been sick; you need to keep up with fluids”

“Not…first time”

Shizuo blinked “What do you mean?”

“Not first time….I was sick during the night, twice, then again earlier and…just now”

Now Shizuo was pissed. “Why didn’t you wake me!? What the hell is wrong with you?”

Despite feeling weak, Izaya took the water and drank half, his throat was burning, and he could feel his skin prickle with heat. He was aware that Shizuo was still holding him up, so he pushed him off and shuffled out of the bathroom. The blond slowly trailed behind him, ready to catch him if necessary. “Wasn’t necessary…”

“Wasn’t- are you kidding me? What if you had fainted or something?”

Izaya turned to smile at him “You worry too much. I don’t need to be looked after like a child, it’s most likely a twenty four hour bug”

Shizuo frowned “And you getting sick just days after Mai is just a coincidence?”

Izaya shrugged and tried to grin “Yes?”

“I’m not joking Izaya, you couldn’t even be sure that you had those vaccines as a child”

Izaya huffed “Oh honestly. I don’t fucking have Meningitis Shizu-chan, really now, over reaction much?” Shizuo clenched his fists, growling as he stormed out of the room, leaving Izaya to blink after him. Izaya sighed heavily and then felt his chest constrict as he coughed again, the back of his hand covering his mouth. He cringed at the nausea, he hadn’t felt this ill before, he cradled his stomach, did he even have anything left to throw up?

He sat on the bed, breathing slowly, trying to will away the need to vomit again. He looked at the water on the nightstand, Shizuo was right about one thing, he needed to keep his fluids up. After all, he didn’t think he could stomach any kind of food right now. He drank the water slowly and sighed with a little relief at the cool texture on his sore throat. As he looked over at the doorway, Shizuo carried Mai into their room, he smiled. “Someone’s feeling better” Shizuo said as he sat down on the bed with her. Mai crawled over the bed and Izaya lifted her up and placed her on his lap, Shizuo noticed that he seem to struggle with that.

“You gave us a scare you know” Izaya said, his voice was more then a little raspy. Mai didn’t seem to really notice, she raised her little arms and hugged him around his neck.

“Love you Iz-nii”

Izaya chuckled a little “Well I love you too”

Shizuo shook his head with a smile, he then stood up and said “Come on little one, breakfast time” Mai turned in Izaya’s arms and Shizuo lifted her up into his own. “You coming?”

Izaya nodded, looking up at him with a small smile, he was so pale, Shizuo was really worried. “I’ll be down in a minute”

Shizuo frowned and then took Mai out of the room, bringing her downstairs.

Izaya stood up, only to sit once again as the room started to spin. A hand to his head, he waited for the feeling of dizziness to fade, he stood back up more carefully.

  
Shizuo laughed as Mai made happy sounds at eating her would be favourite cereal. He set his own bowl of chocolate porridge down and then looked toward the door when Izaya appeared, dressed in his usual black attire. “How’d you feel?”

Izaya shrugged and made his way to the table, he managed to pour himself a tea and then sat at the table. “Just tired…”

“Why don’t you go back to bed? Rest will do you good”

Izaya shook his head, “I’ve been out of work too long. I should get back today”

Shizuo stared in surprise and then scowled “You’re not serious?”

Izaya looked at him “Perfectly serious”

Shizuo continued to scowl at him “I really think that’s a bad idea”

Izaya smiled at their daughter, still happily eating her chocolate porridge “Mai is a lot better now, I think it’ll be all right for one of us to go back to work”

“I was talking about you! you shouldn’t be working in your condition”

Izaya raised an eyebrow at him as he took sips of his tea, “My condition? What would that be?”

Shizuo sighed, Izaya was so stubborn “You’re sick”

Izaya huffed and then stood up “Just because I’m not feeling completely myself, doesn’t mean I’m just not going to work”

Mai looked up at Izaya, she then held her spoon out to him “Iz-nii?”

Izaya turned his attention to her, “What is it little human?” Mai continued to hold out the spoon for him. “You can do it”

Mai shook her head and smiled “You av it?”

Izaya grimaced and then gave her a smile “That’s all right. It’s yours. You have to eat it”

“No more. Iz-nii av now”

Izaya shook his head “Feed it to daddy” Shizuo snorted, Izaya chuckled lightly “Iz-nii isn’t hungry right now”

Shizuo rolled his eyes, he looked at his partner, the man was practically leaning on the table. “You should eat something at least”

Izaya waved a hand dismissively “Trust me Shizu-chan, if I ate anything right now, I really will puke” Mai caught the topic of the conversation, she pulled a face and gave Izaya a sad expression. “Hey. What’s with that face? Why are you sad?” Izaya knelt down beside her

“Iz-nii sicky?”

Izaya sighed and smiled “No. I’m not sicky. Its ok Mai, but you feel better right?”

Mai nodded with a smile “All better”

“Then that’s all right. Iz-nii is going to go to work for a while ok? have fun with daddy”

Mai nodded happily, quickly forgetting her sadness and Shizuo glared at Izaya, obviously Mai took his word for it. He watched Izaya shuffle out of the room and proceeded to clean the mess of food from the table and around her face. He laughed when she giggled as he wiped her face clean from the chocolate. Shizuo lifted her up off her seat, she immediately ran into the living room, where she began playing with her blocks. She loved those and was getting so much better at co-ordinating them and stacking them into sections. “I’m just going upstairs. Stay here ok?”

Mai looked up at him, tilting her head, she then nodded with a smile and carried on playing. Shizuo wasn’t even sure if she really knew what he said, but Izaya had told him to talk to her with capable words, he really did hate the baby talk. It was easier now that Mai was older, they didn’t have to be in the same room as her every second, they knew she’d be ok if they left her for a few minutes on her own.

Shizuo started up the stairs, for safety reasons, he locked the baby gate so that she didn’t attempt the stairs on her own at least.

Izaya was sat on the bed, cradling his head in his hands by the time Shizuo stepped into the room. “Izaya?” The raven grunted and hissed when Shizuo opened a curtain, he raised an eyebrow at him. “Thought it was kind of dark”

Izaya looked over at him, half scowling “That was the point…”

“Huh?”

Izaya winced as he caught a glimpse of the sunlight from his field of vision “Put it back”

Shizuo blinked in confusion but did as told, he heard his partner sigh and walked around to kneel beside him. “Thought you were going to work?”

Izaya was barely looking at him, still trying to cradle his head “I was….but my head…it fucking hurts”

Shizuo sighed, seriously, Izaya was so damn stubborn. “Migraine I guess. Did you take something for it?”

“I tried….”

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

“It means that the water didn’t stay down long enough. I threw up”

Shizuo clicked his tongue and felt the informant’s forehead “Have you even checked your temperature?” Izaya shook his head, groaning in discomfort at the motion of movement. “You could have just said no. and why are you even sitting up? Its going to cause more dizziness right?”

Izaya batted his hand away “I was waiting for the nausea to pass….didn’t wanna lie down only to have to get up again”

Shizuo frowned as he opened up a draw, taking out the thermometer they’d kept nearby for when Mai was sick. Shizuo held it out to Izaya’s mouth, the raven pouted at him. Shizuo then grinned “Would you rather I check it more accurately?”

Izaya’s eyes widen a little, he tried to grin, but it didn’t look at all effective. “That might be a turn on for you”

Shizuo blushed and tried not to think about those kinds of thoughts. “Just open your mouth!” Izaya cringed at the loudness of his voice, he let out an inaudible groan. Shizuo lowered his head, he hated seeing him like this. “Sorry” Izaya pouted again but took the item between his teeth and held it in his lips. They waited for a few seconds and Shizuo took it back, his eyes widened. “God damn it. you really are an idiot. Should have checked this earlier”

Izaya sighed, only now, did he feel like maybe Shizuo was right, he really felt awful. “That bad?”

“Izaya, you’re at 39 already, and that’s border lining on 40. I’m calling Shinra” Izaya grabbed Shizuo’s hand, halting him from retrieving his phone. “Izaya” Shizuo gritted his teeth

Izaya narrowed his eyes “We’ll manage. We don’t need shinra….I’m an adult, I’ll be all right”

“We don’t even know what you have, what if its serious?”

Izaya smiled, his cheeks flush as he leaned forward to grasp Shizuo’s hand. “Don’t worry…it’s nothing more than a virus, an ordinary flu-like virus. No rashes or anything like that, I-” Izaya started to cough again and then gritted his teeth as his stomach clenched. “Ngh….Shiz-….sick” Shizuo reached under him and helped him to the bathroom, Izaya retched and fell forward, throwing up bile. Shizuo grimaced, there was nothing left to project, he heard Izaya cough and rubbed his back, not willing to look, since it triggered his own need to puke. He felt Izaya’s hand tightened against his arm as he coughed again, but he then heard a gasp and a small whimper… “Shizu-chan…..I- its…”

Shizuo turned his head, Izaya sounded scared all of a sudden, and when his eyes landed on the raven’s hand, he knew why. “Shit. Izaya-” Spots of red covered his palm, and Shizuo began to get really worried.

Izaya shook under his hold, clearly more worried then he was before. “W-what’s wrong with me? Shizu-chan….”

“I don’t know. but I’m calling Shinra right now” Izaya didn’t argue this time, he clung to Shizuo as the blond practically carried him to the bed. He lay Izaya down across it, the raven groaned and curled on his side, cradling his abdomen. Shizuo stroked his head, his hair was starting to dampen from his fever. “You’ll be all right….I’m here”

Izaya half opened his eyes “Mai…?”

“She’s playing downstairs, I think I should call my parents, or your sisters, they should take Mai for a little while. She shouldn’t see you like this”

Izaya nodded, pain danced in his eyes as he tried to focus on Shizuo, he started to shiver. “S-sorry…”

Shizuo sighed “What for?”

Izaya reached for his hand, to which Shizuo extended for him “Being…s-stubborn”

“Wouldn’t have you any other way” Shizuo stroked through his hair again “You gonna be all right while I make a couple of calls?”

Izaya nodded, he curled up more on his side, trying to will himself not to vomit anymore, it was too painful. “N-not….my sisters, don’t…wanna…worry them”

Shizuo sighed but agreed, Izaya would only try to make out that he was less ill then he actually was.

At Izaya’s request, Mai was to be collected by his parents, she didn’t seem to mind and Shizuo was grateful that she didn’t know what was going on. Shizuo wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep up a happy façade for her while his partner was this ill. He phoned Shinra immediately after and explained what was happening and told him Izaya’s symptoms as best he could.

By the time Mai had left the apartment with his parents, and Shinra arrived it was the early evening.

Shinra made his way into the bedroom that was now in complete darkness, save for the hallway light peaking through. He spotted the lump under the covers and made his way over, setting his bag down. “Izaya?” Shinra got no response, which was strange in itself, since he knew the man was a light sleeper. He knelt down beside the bed, shifting the duvet off so that he could get a better look at his friend. “Izaya, it’s Shinra, I need to take a look at you”

Izaya stirred awake, his eyes blinking blearily as he tried to put the voice to name. “Where…am I?”

Shinra took an icepack from his bag and placed it over Izaya’s forehead, the raven sighed instantly. “It’s ok. you’re at home, you’re not well, I’ve come to help”

“Shizu-chan….?”

“He’s here, he’s outside ok, can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Feel sick…”

“I know, anything specific?”

Izaya sat up a little, “No…I mean I feel sick…”

Shinra’s eyes widened “Oh. Hang on” Shinra grabbed a sick bowl and held it out, Izaya groaned in pain and then threw up, nothing but bile and then blood splattered the edges as he did so. Shinra frowned in concern, Izaya hissed as he slumped onto his back, a hand around his stomach. “Shizuo said you’d started to vomit blood, I didn’t wanna believe it”

Izaya looked at him, even in the dark room, Shinra could tell he wasn’t right. His skin was a sickly white-yellow, and his eyes hazy from his fever. “Why…? What’s wrong….with me?”

“You really should go to a hospital Izaya. But you’re not going to do that, are you?”

“Can’t you help….?”

Shinra sighed, it was really in his friend’s best interest that he go to a proper hospital. He pulled out a square monitor. “I’m not sure how well this will work, it might not even show me what I need to know, you might need an MRI”

Izaya held back a pained grunt as he lay completely flat, clearly it hurt more to stretch out. “If you….can’t find anything…I promise, I’ll go to the hospital”

Shinra looked at him, wondering whether he was even aware of this conversation. “All right” the doctor switched the monitor on and then pulled out some gel. Izaya raised his eyebrow suspiciously. “It’s necessary”

“What is it?”

“It’s just a gel. For the ultrasound”

Izaya snorted, despite the obvious pain and discomfort he was in, he tried to joke. “I’m not pregnant Shinra”

Shinra rolled his eyes, he knew the informant was teasing, knowing full well that ultrasounds were for more than just pregnant women. “How can you joke at a time like this?”

Izaya smiled, until an unbelievable amount of pain shot down his side, the raven gasped loudly, curling on his side as he clutched the duvet. “Fuck!”

Shinra could only wait until the pain passed, he held his friend’s arm, trying his best to comfort him. Izaya seethed, eyes tightly closed, Shinra was getting really worried now. “Izaya, I really think you need a hospital…”

“Ngh….Shizu-chan….”

“Izaya-”

“Please…..”

Shinra sighed and called out to Shizuo; Izaya was in pain, and as harsh as it was, he didn’t need Shizuo, he needed a hospital. Shizuo came running in without hesitation, Shinra frowned at him. “Maybe you can get him to listen. He needs a doctor Shizuo”

Shizuo glared “And what are you then?”

“He needs a licensed one. There could be something seriously wrong with him”

Izaya rolled onto his back, the pain was subsiding again, he was panting heavily as he looked over at his lover. Shizuo had never seen him look so weak, he made his way across the bed, grasping Izaya’s hand in his own. “Maybe he’s right Izaya” Shizuo said softly, not liking how fragile his grip felt.

Shinra bit his lip, he looked at the monitor in his hands. “Look. I’ll give this a try, if I find something or rather, don’t find something. We get you to a hospital, ok?”

Izaya nodded, his grip tightening in Shizuo’s hand, the blond knew he was scared, and he closed his hand around Izaya’s. Shinra squirted some gel across Izaya’s abdomen, and for a moment, Izaya sighed at the coolness of it against his hot skin. He then proceeded to very slowly, smear the gel over Izaya’s stomach with the transducer. Shizuo felt strangely uncomfortable for some reason as he, Izaya and Shinra stared at the monitor. Shizuo cleared his throat before speaking, “Uh…, we’re not gonna find like- a baby in there, are we?”

Izaya huffed a small laugh, despite the pain he was still in, though at the moment, it was bearable. Somehow, Shizuo’s joke made him feel less afraid, made him feel like nothing was wrong. “What would you do if we did?” Izaya teased back, it certainly was a good distraction for him, trying not to think about the pain.

Shizuo cringed at first and then smiled, laughing a little even “Probably be happy. I mean, that we’re capable of creating something like that, it’d be our baby, like- part of both of us”

Izaya raised an eyebrow at him. It was meant to be a joke, but somehow Shizuo’s reply made him realise that he really would be happy. He shook his head, grinning a little. “You realise how weird that sounded, right?”

Shizuo laughed “Yeah. I know. but it’s the truth, though I’d probably freak out”

Izaya clicked his tongue “You’d freak out? I’d be the one that has to bear the child”

Shinra sighed “I’m happy that you’re not in much pain at the moment. But I really need to concentrate. Izaya, quit moving”

Izaya and Shizuo exchange a look of concern, it wasn’t like Shinra to be so serious; in fact, they’d been waiting for him to join in on the teasing. “Oi” Shizuo said “Is something wrong?”

Shizuo could feel Izaya tense suddenly, the grip on his hand tightening and Shizuo wasn’t sure whether it was the pain returning, or fear of Shinra discovering something serious. Shinra was frowning, and he wasn’t speaking, which was not a good sign in their eyes. “Shinra…?” Izaya spoke quietly, he wasn’t sure he could bare the silence any longer.

“It’s kind of hard to tell. I’m seeing a lot of infection around the abdominal cavity…..”

“What does that mean?” Shizuo asked, feeling panic start to set in.

Shinra’s eyes became wide as realisation dawned on him “Shizuo, call an ambulance. Right now”

“Wait, what? Why?”

Shinra frowned at him “I’m not kidding, do it now”

Shizuo looked at Izaya, the raven looked worriedly at him, Shizuo grabbed his phone from the nightstand, reluctantly releasing Izaya’s hand. “Shit. Shinra, what’s wrong?” he asked as he did as Shinra told him, waiting for the phone to connect him.

Shinra just looked at Izaya, the man was so pale, and he wondered how the hell he was even able to tease and speak so calmly. It was no wonder he was in so much pain. “Izaya. Tell me the truth. Have you had abdominal pains recently? before this morning I mean?”

Izaya suddenly felt interrogated, he ducked his head under Shinra’s gaze. “I suppose. But I just thought it might have been something I ate, or- you know, constipation or whatever”

“Seriously? and how long has this been going on?”

“A week, maybe”

“A week!? A fucking week Izaya!? Do you have any idea how dangerous this is?”

“Shinra. I’ve been worried about Mai, the pain was tolerable, it wasn’t all the time. I just- I didn’t think it was anything to worry about. I’ve only felt this bad since this morning”

Shinra placed the ultrasound back in his bag, he was not at all happy, Izaya had never seen him like this before, and quite frankly, it scared him more. “Izaya. This could have been avoided, you should have said something sooner. I can’t believe you could ignore your health like this”

Shizuo was trying to listen to the woman on the other end of the phone, while partially listening to the conversation his partner and Shinra were having. The parts he had heard, he wasn’t liking, and it angered him that Izaya hid something like that from him, that he didn’t tell him he was experiencing that sort of pain. Shizuo caught the question the woman had asked, but he had no idea how to answer. He held the phone out to Shinra. “I’m not sure what to say” Shinra nodded and took the phone.

Shizuo looked over at Izaya, the informant hissed as pain seemed to catch him off guard. Shizuo clenched his fists, he was pissed. But being angry at Izaya now wasn’t going to help, he knelt beside him and Izaya latched onto his arm. “Idiot. What were you thinking?” Shizuo said quietly, trying not to sound angry.

“S-sorry…” they still didn’t know what was wrong, and Shizuo found that incredibly frustrating, so he couldn’t imagine how Izaya must be feeling. “I didn’t…..know”

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why did you hide it?”

Izaya curled on his side, the pain was becoming sharp and constant now, he could barely focus on what Shizuo was saying. “Mai…., too worried….”

Shizuo sighed heavily. They wanted Izaya to be more considerate of others before, but this was ridiculous, the blond didn’t want him ignoring his own health. He looked up as Shinra came over to them.

“It’s on its way” Shinra told them, he knelt down beside Shizuo. “How you doing Izaya?”  
Izaya just shook his head, barely able to speak through ragged breathing.

“Shinra. What the fuck is going on?” Shizuo demanded now, he was not going to be kept in the dark.

“Izaya’s appendix has burst. There’s a lot of infectious material that’s causing a lot pain. This is very dangerous; this can lead to a serious inflammation of the abdominal cavity line”

“It sounds serious, but what does that mean?”

“Shizuo” Shinra looked at him from over his shoulder “He could die if the treatment doesn’t work in time”

Shizuo paled, how could- this couldn’t be happening. “But- I thought, appendix-whatever, was something that was common?”

Shinra sighed and nodded “Appendicitis is normally, it can be a common occurrence, and mostly it’s a procedure easily done. But because Izaya didn’t get himself checked when the pain began, he’s left it too long and the appendix burst, probably this morning. That’s why the vomiting started, and that’s probably the cause of the coughing blood. He might even have an abscess, this is caused when the tissues try to wall off the infection, I really don’t know the extent, if the bacteria from the rupture has gotten into the blood stream already-I don’t think it has, but if that’s the case, we’re looking at sepsis. There are three forms of this, but even the mildest form can be life threatening”

Shizuo swiped a hand over his hair. “Christ….” He looked at his partner, the man was barely conscious, he probably hadn’t heard a word Shinra had said. “Shinra, what do I do?”

“Nothing you can do, except be with him. And pray to god it’s not too late”

Shizuo squeezed Izaya’s hand, tears threatening to fall. “Stay with us….”

  
Once the paramedics arrived, Izaya was immediately taken to Raira hospital, he was rushed into surgery upon arrival; leaving Shizuo and Shinra in the waiting room.

Shizuo was pacing, he couldn’t sit still for more than a minute, and Shinra kept looking at the clock. He knew himself that Izaya’s chances were slim, he’d only made an estimated guess about when the raven’s appendix had most likely ruptured. Shinra couldn’t bear to tell Shizuo just how slim Izaya’s chances could be. He watched him pace, the blond needed a distraction, a sudden thought came to him. “Hey Shizuo?”

Shizuo gritted his teeth, half glaring over at Shinra as he answered through clenched teeth. “What?”

“I think you should call Izaya’s sisters, they should be here”

Shizuo stopped pacing, suddenly feeling like the worst brother-in-law ever. It hadn’t even occurred to him to contact anyone else. “Shit. I hadn’t even thought about that” Shinra could see Shizuo was struggling to hold it together, any life threatening injuries the two had experienced, they were nothing compared to this.

“I can call them. If you want”

Shizuo nodded “I’d appreciate that…”

  
Izaya had been in surgery now for almost two hours. Mairu and Kururi were sitting with Shizuo in the waiting room, it seemed that having the twins there, helped keep him calm. Shinra knew that Shizuo would remain stronger and more composed if he had someone else that needed him. He had an arm around each of their shoulders, but it was easy to forget they were nearly eighteen-especially when they were this worried. “What are his chances, Shinra?” It was Mairu who asked. Of course she did. Shinra sighed, why did she have to be the need-to-know.

“Hard to say. Depends on the infection, how much bacteria has leaked, how much his immune system was able to fight it off. Also, the timing would have been crucial, if the rupture was this morning-” Shinra looked at the clock, “Or rather, yesterday morning. There might be a better chance. The later the rupture, the better chance he has”

“But that’s not adding the fact of afterward. Is it?”

“No. if it’s sepsis, and if it’s severe or worse. There will be more complications. Tests will be done to rule this out regardless”

“Shut up” Shizuo growled out “I don’t want to hear this right now”

Shinra frowned “Shizuo-”

Shizuo glared at him “Not. Another. Word”

Shinra nodded, slouching in his seat, feeling a little threatened under the blond’s glare.

  
A doctor opened the door to the waiting room, it felt like hours Shizuo’s head snapped up to glare at the intruder, until he realised that it was the doctor, and also, this was a waiting room; he had no jurisdiction of whom could come in here. it had just been them all this time, and Shizuo couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed, as if someone else should be feeling the worry that he and those with him were feeling. Shizuo stood as the doctor moved into the room, causing the twins to wake up from their nap on his shoulder. Shinra followed after him, noting the door hadn’t been closed-and although he was an unlicensed underground doctor-it told him that things went well.

“Mr Orihara was incredibly lucky. We caught the infection in time before it spread into his blood stream, as strange as this sounds-it was fortunate that an abscess formed”

Shizuo growled “How is that fortunate!?”

The doctor flinched, feeling suddenly frightened, he composed himself however, being used to loved ones angry at times like this. “It means that his body created a wall to fight off the infection, stopping it from completely spreading. We drained the abscess first, it wasn’t ideal to perform more surgery within such a short space of the drain, but the abscess wasn’t too big, and we needed to remove the ruptured appendix as soon as possible. We managed to clean and remove the infectious bacteria, I’m happy with the results” the doctor smiled. Mairu and Kururi sighed in relief, tears of happiness at the corners of their eyes. But Shizuo just glared, clenching his fists, and Shinra knew why he wasn’t yet relieved. He placed his hand on Shizuo’s shoulder, causing the blond to look in his direction.

“Shizuo. He’s going to be ok” Shinra told him with a smile, a grin even.

Shizuo finally sighed, he was a simple man, hearing all that medical stuff hurt his head. All he wanted to hear was that Izaya was going to be ok. “Thank you” he told the doctor. “Can we see him?”

The doctor nodded. “Not all at once. He’s groggy, in and out of consciousness, he will be for a few days. Also, he’s on a course of antibiotics for at least several weeks. For now, he’s receiving that through as vein, and when he’s discharged, he’ll take tablets. It’s just to make sure the infection is completely gone”

Shizuo gritted his teeth “You said you removed the infection”

The doctor couldn’t help but sigh “We cleaned the abdominal cavity of the bacteria, because not all of it was walled off, he needs the antibiotics anyway to make sure that’s taken care of. It’s mainly the case of stopping it from coming back. Given that he’s also had open surgery, he’ll take longer to heal, he’ll experience some discomfort and pain for a while, but don’t worry, he’ll be ok. we’ve performed some tests, and we’ll let you know the results once we receive them, this will rule out sepsis. Given that we caught this all in time, I’m confident the tests will come back negative”

Shinra kept his hand on Shizuo’s shoulder, mainly to keep him calm, he knew that what the doctor was saying was annoying him. But, he also knew him well enough, that Shizuo was listening regardless of showing how it pissed him off. At this point in time though, the blond just wanted to know if Izaya would be ok. “Shizuo. Go see him. He’ll be ok, go see for yourself”

Shizuo snapped out of his staring contest with the doctor. He looked back at the twins, wondering if it was ok for him to go first. Mairu and Kururi seemed to know what he was silently asking, Mairu smiled and said “You’re his partner, you need to go first, he’ll wanna see you when he wakes up. Tell him we’ll be here”

Shizuo nodded and then followed the doctor out of the room, he was led down several different corridors until the doctor stopped at a closed door. “He needs a lot of rest, so make sure he doesn’t overexert himself, and the less stress he’s under, the better”

“What are you implying there?”

The doctor blinked and shook his head “Nothing. It’s just something I have to run by all my patient’s loved ones, if such an occurrence of surgery is performed. It’s a guideline, no implications were meant by it”

Shizuo nodded, feeling a little guilty for snapping. He mumbled an apology as his hand closed over the handle. “Thanks” he then said more clearly. The doctor smiled and left him alone. Shizuo sighed as entered the room, almost snorting at the privacy, Izaya always made sure that he had a private room noted on his medical records. Shizuo stood beside the bed, he could see the tube that connected to his hand up to a bag of fluids, most likely the antibiotics the doctor was talking about. Izaya looked peaceful enough, his skin still a little pale, but he didn’t seem to be in constant pain anymore. Shizuo grazed his fingertips over Izaya’s hand, careful not to nudge the cannula. He then leaned down and captured Izaya’s lips lightly with his own, as he leaned back up, the raven’s eyes fluttered open, smiling weakly at him.

Izaya whispered softly, a little teasing edge on his quiet tone “And the sleeping beauty was awakened by his love’s first kiss…”

Shizuo chuckled as he rolled his eyes, even when he was pumped with drugs, Izaya was a light sleeper. “His love’s first kiss?”

Izaya grinned a little “Last time I checked. I was a guy”

“Ah. So naturally you changed the gender” Shizuo then snorted “Sleeping beauty huh?”

“Mm hm, naturally”

Shizuo smiled and captured his lips again, he then let his head gently rest against Izaya’s forehead, letting out a shaky breath. Izaya smiled and raised his other arm so that his hand could cradle the back of Shizuo’s neck. “Don’t ever do that to me again….”

Izaya let out his own shaky breath, he honestly berated himself for his stupidity. Ignoring injuries was one thing, he was used to that, his pain tolerance was something he sometimes prided himself on. But, to ignore obvious health warnings that almost killed him, it wasn’t quite the same, he had a daughter, he had a family; he should know better. “I’m sorry….”

Shizuo leaned on his palm, still pressing his head against Izaya’s. “You keep doing this to me….almost slipping away, one day I feel like you’re just going to-”

Izaya cut him off, pushing at his shoulder to get Shizuo to look at him. “I promise, I promise that will never happen. I won’t leave you”

Shizuo clenched his fist around the sheet. “You can’t make that sort of promise Izaya. Even I can’t do that. Not in the physical sense at least. But….I just, I love you so much, the thought of losing you… it kills me”

Izaya sighed, biting his lower lip, he hated seeing his lover like this, Shizuo was stronger than this, stronger than he’d ever be. “I know. I didn’t do this on purpose. If I really had known it was this dangerous, I would have said something, I’m not a complete stubborn idiot, I just- I was so worried about Mai, and then the pain seemed to go away, so I thought that maybe I just had a bit of flu…”

Shizuo nodded, he could tell Izaya was being sincere, there was no signs that he was lying. “I know” Shizuo kissed his forehead and then his lips once more. “I know. we were really worried”

Izaya nodded, he knew that, it was written all over his partner’s face. “I don’t remember much you know. it’s all a blur, where’s Mai? And I didn’t say anything embarrassing did I? I remember my temperature was rather high”

Shizuo shook his head with a chuckle. “Mai is with my parents at the moment, we figured she shouldn’t see you like that, she’s way too young. Though she’s pretty smart, she knew you were sick way before things got worse. Also, you didn’t say much of anything. Just made a smartass joke about pregnancy when Shinra did some scan thing on you. I might have joined in on that”

Izaya smiled, suddenly remembering that. “I remember you not being opposed to the idea. Actually, you were excited about it”

Shizuo blushed, of course, Izaya would remember that “Shut up” Izaya chuckled. He shifted a little and winced, his eyes shut momentarily as he tried to get comfortable again. “Are you hurting?”

Izaya smiled a little “A little. But it’s fine. Antibiotics seems to be doing its job. It’s mainly the incision, nothing I can’t handle”

Shizuo rolled his eyes, sometimes his lover was such a masochist. “Yeah. I guess so”

Izaya shifted down a little, he felt sluggish, but he refused to sleep. “So. Did you slay the dragon so that you could wake me?”

Shizuo blinked in confusion, before realising that Izaya was talking about that fairy tale from earlier. “Damn straight. Though Shinra was hardly a challenge, nor the other doctor”

Izaya chuckled “What about a certain other fairy”

Shizuo thought for a moment, and then he knew Izaya was talking about Celty. “Ah. Pretty sure, if she’d come with us she’d be the fairy that aids me”

“Most likely” Izaya smiled, his eyes half lidded now as he fought against sleep. “Love you, Shizu-chan”

Shizuo leaned over and kissed him “Love you too, stubborn flea”

 


	6. Danger returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. been super busy lately. I hope you enjoy!

Izaya stood with his hands in his jacket pockets, a proud smile on his face as he and Shizuo watched their little girl walk through the doors of her first school, her first year of elementary school. The now 31 year old raven looked over at Shizuo, the blond haired man was tense, unable to stop the emotions from showing on his face. “Shizu-chan?”

 

Shizuo swallowed the lump in his throat. First she was walking, then it was off to kindergarten, and now…. now she was six. He couldn’t believe it. It felt as though he’d been stood still for a long time, blinked and she suddenly was this, Smart. Beautiful. Loving and mischievous little girl. How had this happened? Izaya placed his hand in Shizuo’s and only then did Shizuo look away from the now empty playground, void of small kids. He looked at Izaya, the man had barely changed at all, still the same hair, same grin, same skinny flea he fell in love with, along with that damn jacket. Honestly. The raven looked like he hadn’t aged a fricking day. Though Shizuo couldn’t really talk. He wasn’t all that different either. The only things that had changed in the six years they’d had her, was that of everything around them.

 

Shinra and Celty were married. Finally. They had decided to tie the knot last year. It was a pretty interesting wedding, small, but interesting. Izaya was Shinra’s best man, and Shizuo walked Celty down the isle. Never had anyone, nor ever thought, they’d witness a human being, marry a Dullahan.

 

Masaomi and Saki, now young adults, lived together -as did Mikado and Anri. Mikado was a professor at Raira academy, Izaya had teased him about how normal that was; given how he’d started out as the founder of a large gang. Anri owned an antiques shop, her Saika giving her a great advantage to her findings. Masaomi preferred to live life much more on the edge. He and Saki would often travel, however, living life day by day had its downfalls, and pretty soon, Saki wanted to settle down more. She and Izaya had a conversation about it the year before, about how she may want to get married one day and have a family. Masaomi still had a little growing up to do, but Izaya assured her that he’d be ready when the time came. Saki teased then, she believed it too; pointing out how Izaya had acted when he was the age Masaomi was now. Izaya nodded, also pointing out, that the four friends from Raira, were a lot different to how he, Shizuo and Shinra were back then.

 

Kadota and Saburo put together their own decorating business, Kadota had enough experience with building work to make it happen. Erika and walker, with their extremely vast collections of manga’s, anime’s and figurines; were now the proud owners of their own anime shop-to which had become rather popular. So, they might have grown up-slightly. Though all four were still inseparable.

 

Mairu and Kururi, now 22, had taken over their sensei’s dojo, and they’d taken on quite a few kids and teenagers who wanted to be stronger.

 

Including Akane, who was now in her final year of Raira academy. She had become very good friends with the twins and had started to visit Izaya and Shizuo a lot more now that she was older. She outright refused to take over her family’s business. She’d found out when she was 13, and spoke to no one for a few months, not even Izaya nor Shizuo; since they had known all along. She got over it. she’d grown up a lot since then, she had a fondness for art and hoped one day she could sell her art professionally.

 

It seemed as though everyone around them were changing, one way or another. Not drastically, but enough that Izaya had noticed it only a few days ago, that he and Shizuo, hadn’t really changed at all. Izaya didn’t care. He liked his job, even now, he wasn’t sure what made him hang on to it, maybe it was the excitement, it just never got boring. But Izaya had a strong feeling, that Shizuo was beginning to doubt his own profession. He supposed, that being a debt collector had to lose its edge eventually; but given how his temper was still a bit of a problem, Izaya wasn’t sure what else Shizuo could really do. He also suspected that Shizuo only really stayed for Tom’s sake, the blond didn’t want to leave him on his own.

 

“That was harder than I thought” Shizuo said as they walked into their apartment after dropping Mai off at school. “She looked so nervous”

 

Izaya smiled as he pulled out his phone after hearing it ping. “She’ll be fine. She’s a brave girl” Izaya’s smile faded as he frowned at the screen.

 

Shizuo noticed his change in demeanour and walked up to him “Something wrong?”

 

Izaya shook his head, smiling up at Shizuo, pocketing his phone. “It’s nothing”

 

“Tell me”

 

“It’s nothing to worry about. I’m sure it’s just an angry client”

 

Shizuo raised an eyebrow, how Izaya could say that so casually he had no idea. Shizuo held his hand out. “Give me your phone”

 

“Why? It’s not a concern. Trust me Shizu-chan” Izaya grinned then “Or maybe you’re worried it’s a secret love affair?” Shizuo rolled his eyes and stalked into the kitchen. “I’m kidding!” Izaya skipped after him and stopped when he realised Shizuo wasn’t there. “Shizu-chan?” all of a sudden, he was grabbed and pinned to the refrigerator. “The hell!” Shizuo grinned, hands either side of Izaya’s head.

 

Shizuo started laughing “I didn’t expect you to jump so much”

 

Izaya pouted and shoved him back “You scared the fucking crap out of me! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

 

Shizuo shook his head “Calm down. You’re not _that_ old, you’re 31 Izaya, not 60”

 

“Shut up” Izaya continued to pout at him, trying to be annoyed. Shizuo chuckled.

 

“Aw come on. Don’t be mad” Shizuo leaned in and kissed his lips “I’m sorry” and again, “Love you” and again.

 

“Asshole”

 

Shizuo laughed and then kissed the top of his head. “Let me make it up to you”

 

Izaya smirked “I’ve got an idea”

 

 

 

…………………….

 

 

Shizuo yanked his wrists against the bars of the headboard. “Izaya…” Izaya moved against him and licked around his pert nipples and down across his stomach, trailing kisses up to his chest.

  
“Now you’re at my mercy” Izaya said with a seductive grin, he placed two fingers against Shizuo’s lips. “Suck”

 

Shizuo’s eyes stared at him intently with lust and he opened his mouth and gathered Izaya’s two fingers in his mouth, twirling his tongue around them and salivating as much as possible. He was growing hard, this wasn’t like their usual interactions, this was hot. So hot. Izaya could feel Shizuo throbbing beneath him as he grinded himself down against him. He released his fingers and sat up slightly, lowering himself down Shizuo’s body. At first Shizuo closed his eyes, preparing himself for what he knew Izaya was going to do, and he was so damn ready, he ached. When Izaya moaned a little, Shizuo’s eyes snapped open, and what he saw, was enough to send a wave of excitement straight to his groin, his cock throbbing. Izaya was leaning over him, his fingers moving skilfully, he was actually- oh god. Izaya panted as he released little moans of pleasure, whilst thrusting his own fingers inside himself. Shizuo watched in fascination, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight, it was so erotic.

 

Izaya moaned again when he parted his fingers and added a third, Shizuo arched in response, his heart beating fast. Izaya opened his eyes, looking down at Shizuo through half lidded eyes, he leaned down and captured his lips in a fierce kiss. Their cocks rubbed together the moment the informant lay over him, Shizuo gasped at how painfully hard he was. Izaya breathed deeply, sparks of pleasure swept over him as he continued to move his fingers for a few more seconds. He straightened up, pulling his hand away and flashed Shizuo a grin that said, ‘I’m in control’ and Shizuo just knew. He followed Izaya’s movements and released an agreeable squeak of surprise as the raven positioned himself over Shizuo’s hard leaking cock. He was so hard, so damn hard, it _hurt_ “Izaya…”

 

Izaya chuckled and then gasped as he lowered himself down onto his lover. Shizuo resisted the urge to arch into him, he wanted it to be at Izaya’s pace, he really was at Izaya’s mercy. Izaya pushed deeper, grasping the bed sheets as he penetrated himself with Shizuo’s cock. Was it always this big? Though he couldn’t remember ever doing it this way before. Izaya leaned over slightly, relaxing a little and then began to move. He slid against Shizuo, feeling the cock push inside, filling him. “Ah….oh…Shizu-chan…feels…so good”

 

Shizuo clenched his eyes shut, it was all he could do, his hands were bound after all. And his legs were slightly pinned under Izaya’s weight. “Fuck….”

 

Izaya became used to the feeling and he wanted more, his moves became quicker as he lowered himself completely. He gasped at the shock of pleasure and suddenly, he sat up, throwing his head back as he continued to thrust himself up and down. “Yes! Oh god! So good! Fuck! Fill me! You’re filling me!” Izaya pushed against him harder and let out a cry of ecstasy when he felt Shizuo’s cock deep within him.

 

Shizuo dared to watch, Izaya was panting hard, and bouncing on him and he felt excitement rush through him. “Fuck! Izaya…you’re…you’re so hot, so fucking hot!”

 

Izaya’s legs burned with the intensity of keeping up the pace, he leaned forward, resting his hands on Shizuo’s arms, he stopped for a moment, trying to catch his breath. Shizuo’s cock pulsed within him and Izaya could feel his own leaking. “Shi-Shizu-chan….I can’t….keep the pace” Izaya gasped when Shizuo pushed up into him slightly. “You’ll have to finish…” Izaya reached up and quickly untied Shizuo’s wrists and collapsed over his chest. In that instance, Shizuo grabbed Izaya’s ass and pushed into him quickly. Izaya cried out as he was repeatedly pounded, Shizuo thrust up with fast motion, never switching their angles. Izaya clenched his eyes shut as he lay against him, Shizuo fucked him over and over until the informant clutched his arm, clawing at him, begging for release. “Shizu-chan! Ah! Ah!...oh god!!”

 

Shizuo pushed up and sat himself up and Izaya bit his shoulder as he felt an overwhelming spark of pleasure hit him. Shizuo moved Izaya up and down, thrusting his hips at the same time. Izaya clung to him, digging his nails into the blond’s shoulders. “Izaya!” Shizuo cried and lowered himself over the raven, lifting his leg and grabbing his hip, slamming into him once more. Izaya saw stars, the pleasure was too much, he gasped as Shizuo rapidly hit his prostate and before he could protest any more, Shizuo wrapped his whole hand around his cock. Izaya screamed his name until his throat was hoarse and Shizuo froze with a cry of pleasure as he came hard inside. Izaya released himself in a blinding flash of ecstasy. His breathing rapid as Shizuo pushed inside a couple more times, riding out his orgasm. Izaya felt it run down his thigh as he tried to catch his breath. “Oh….god…I can’t….shit”

 

Shizuo gently pulled out, Izaya groaned, feeling his lover’s seed dribble out. He turned over, an arm over his head. “Izaya….are…you ok?”

 

Izaya could only nod.

 

“Did…did we…go too far?”

 

Izaya chuckled a little, finding his voice… “Well. I think…we might have…set ourselves…a new record…”

 

Shizuo grinned a little and kissed Izaya gently on the lips. “I should run us a bath….”

 

Izaya nodded and winced as he sat up slightly. “Damn…I will be sore for a couple of days”

 

“Sorry”

 

Izaya smiled at him. “My fault. It was my idea after all. Who knew it would turn you on so much”

 

Shizuo kissed him again “Shut up”

 

 

After their extremely explicit love making, if that’s what you’d call it, Izaya and Shizuo were laid on top of their bed, bathed and relaxed. Izaya lay across Shizuo’s chest, hands splaying across his stomach as he ran his fingers lightly over him. He felt kind of guilty for hiding his phone from Shizuo earlier, but he knew it would just make the blond worry. Still. Izaya sat up and reached for his phone on the nightstand. Shizuo’s eyes roamed over his slender body, clad in nothing but black boxers right now. he took in the several bruises that now marked Izaya’s body and ran his fingers over one on his hip. “Don’t even think about it” Shizuo stilled his hand and Izaya turned to him. “Don’t go into a sulk Shizu-chan. I like the marks, they’re memorable”

 

Shizuo blinked at him and then chuckled “You’re crazy”

 

Izaya smiled and leaned over to kiss him, he splayed his fingertips over the angry red marks on Shizuo’s arms. “See?”

 

Shizuo looked down at them and snorted “God damn it. could you get any more aggressive?”

 

Izaya huffed and poked him in the chest “Look who’s talking. I wanted to come! I thought I was going to implode!”

 

Shizuo laughed and shoved him off and rolled over him, hands on Izaya’s wrists gently, careful not to lean too much on him. “You’re really crazy. I love you so much”

 

Izaya chuckled at the sudden emotions that Shizuo was displaying. “I love you too, my wild beast”

 

Shizuo let out a growl and then laughed as he gently kissed Izaya’s lips. “We’ve gotta get Mai in an hour”

 

Izaya playfully shoved him off “Then you better get off me”

 

Shizuo tutted. “Yeah. like I’d be able to do anything right now”

 

Izaya looked over at him as he sat up with a grin “You’re actually tired for once?”

 

Shizuo rolled his eyes and then lay on his pillow. “Screw pride. I’m fucking exhausted. And _you_ can barely stand”

 

Izaya clicked his tongue “Shut up” Shizuo chuckled.

 

Izaya unlocked his phone and navigated to his emails. “Here” he said as he handed Shizuo the phone.

 

Shizuo sat up and took the device from his lover with a curious frown. “What?”

 

“I received this earlier. Downstairs”

 

Shizuo looked down at the screen and instantly grew angry, Izaya snatched his phone back before the blond could break it with his strength. “Are you fucking kidding me!?”

 

Izaya knew he’d get angry. “Calm down. It’s probably nothing”

 

Shizuo gritted his teeth “ _That_ is not nothing. When someone threatens you, it’s not just nothing Izaya” Shizuo got off the bed and began to get dressed. Izaya huffed and then glanced at his phone when another email came through. He then laughed. “What’s so damn funny?”

 

Izaya chuckled and read his email aloud. “I know where you live” he shook his head at Shizuo’s narrowed eyes. “Oh come on. How cliché is that? that’s not a threat. It’s too funny”

 

Shizuo sighed, Izaya was too calm about this, it annoyed him how he could disregard that so easily. “And what about the first one? ‘I’d watch my back if I were you’ what the hell is that suppose to mean? I think- Izaya! Stop laughing!”

 

Izaya calmed down, he buttoned up his pants and looped his belt around his waist. “Sorry. I just don’t think it’s serious. It’s pretty pathetic really”

 

Shizuo looked at the clock “We’re going to be late. Let’s go”

 

Shizuo walked out of the room, Izaya rolled his eyes and followed after him. “I knew I shouldn’t have said anything” he muttered

 

 

Mai was chatting away a mile a minute about her first day, in between both her parents who were holding her hand as they listened to every word. She was so excited. “And the teacher said I was smart cause I got all the answers right!” Shizuo chuckled, looking over at Izaya who smiled at him.

 

“I wonder who that comes from” Shizuo said with love in his eyes, seemingly forgetting about their little disagreement earlier.

  
Izaya shrugged, though he had no doubts at the moment that they’d raised her well, he felt proud. “Did you talk to any of the other kids today?” he didn’t want his daughter to take the same routes that he’d done, he wanted her to have friends, to have fun.

 

“Yeah” Mai looked down sadly for a second, her cheerful attitude changed.

 

Izaya and Shizuo stopped outside their apartment and the raven knelt down in front of her. “Why the sad face?”

 

“Well. When we had playtime. A girl asked me where my Mummy was today. I didn’t understand. I said I didn’t have a mummy; I have two daddies instead” Izaya glanced up at Shizuo and the blond sighed in anguish. Izaya thought for a moment, wondering how to respond. “She told me that I was suppose to have a mummy, cause that’s what’s suppose to happen, and she said that having two daddies is against the law”

 

Izaya groaned inwardly. Legally, that was true. But Mai didn’t understand, she was much too young to know the truth yet. They got into the apartment and Mai hung up her coat with a sad look, she’d been so excited before. “Mai. Why don’t you get changed all right?” Izaya said gently

 

“K” Mai trudged up the stairs as they watched her go.

 

Izaya looked over at Shizuo, he seemed frustrated, running a hand over his face. “What shall we do?”

 

“She’s much too young to know what happened” the two sat on the couch.

 

“We’ve got to tell her something. The same gender can fall in love. She understands that at least”

 

“Yeah. but now she knows she had to have come from somewhere, what if she asks _where”_

“She would have questioned it sooner or later”

“I know that. but we can’t very well tell her that one of us gave birth to her. And we’re not telling her that a fricking stalk brought her here”

 

Izaya laughed at the statement, that was the last thing he wanted to tell her. “She’s a smart girl, I think she’ll be able to understand part of the truth. We don’t have to tell her exactly what happened, just enough”

 

Shizuo sighed, leaning back against the couch. “I don’t know Izaya. I knew this was probably going to happen once she started school. But they’re only six year olds, I didn’t think it would happen already”

 

“Kids are pretty observant sometimes. They’re merely curious, that’s all” Izaya and Shizuo turned to Mai as she reached the bottom of the stairs. Izaya smiled and pat the couch. “Mai come here; we want to explain somethings to you”

 

Mai ducked her head “Am I in trouble?”

 

Shizuo shook his head with a smile “No. of course not. We just want to talk to you about what happened today”

 

Mai ran over to them and climbed onto the couch between them. Shizuo looked at Izaya, having no idea how to start. Izaya covered her hand with his. “Mai. You know we love you very much, don’t you?” Mai nodded. “You-” Izaya bit his lip, hesitating slightly before continuing. “You had a mother Mai”

 

Mai’s eyes widened a little “I did?”

 

“Yes. Mai, you know the difference between the love we have for you, to the love that-a mother and a father have for each other, right?”

 

Mai tilted her head “Hmm. I think so, like uncle Shinra and Auntie Celty, they act all weird”

 

Izaya chuckled “I suppose so. And you know that it can be the same for two men, or two females, right?” Mai nodded happily “So you know that Iz-nii and daddy love each other a lot”

 

Mai smiled brightly “Daddy says that you’re his whole world!” Mai widened her arms to emphasize her point.

 

Shizuo blushed when Izaya raised his eyebrow at him. Shizuo tickled Mai playfully. “Thought that was a secret huh” Mai giggled.

 

Izaya shook his head with a small laugh “Anyway. Mai, your mother also loved you a lot, just like we love you. but….” Izaya looked at Shizuo, he didn’t know how to put it without making her feel sad.

 

Shizuo picked her up and placed her on his lap. “She was sick”

 

Mai looked up at him “She was?”

 

Izaya nodded and closed the gap between them, his hand resting on her back. “She was very sick Mai. She didn’t know if she could take care of you, she didn’t know if she could give you the happiness you deserved”

 

“Did you love mummy at one point?”

 

Izaya cringed a little but smiled “No. but she was a good friend of ours. She- she had to go away, because she was sick…. You were just a baby when we found out about you. she asked us to take care of you, and to raise you, to give you the best life we could”

 

Mai listened to every word, they was unsure if she understood though, she looked down at her feet. “Did mummy love me?”

 

Shizuo kissed the top of her head, feeling a past guilt creep into his heart. “She loved you very much, that’s why she knew she did the right thing”

 

Izaya smiled and wiped her tear away with his thumb. “It’s ok Mai, do you understand?”

 

Mai nodded “Think so. Mummy loved me, but she was too sick to look after me. She gave me to you”

 

Izaya lifted her chin gently so she could look at him. “That’s right. You’re still our daughter Mai, you will always be our little girl. We just thought you’d want to know where you came from, we wanted you to know that you did have a mommy”

 

Mai smiled brightly, and she stood up on the couch, wrapping her small arms around both of their necks as they hugged her tight. “You know what?”

 

“What is it?” Shizuo asked with a smile

 

“I like having two daddies anyways!”

 

Izaya and Shizuo chuckled

 

The small family were now sat at the table, having dinner, Mai was happy again, her legs dangling. “Can I ask a question?”

 

Izaya and Shizuo shared a glance before turning to their daughter. “Why don’t you finish your dinner first ok?” Izaya told her, she nodded, and they fell into comfortable silence until they’d finished dinner. Shizuo stood up to clear the plates, he piled them together and walked over to the sink.

 

Izaya smiled and nodded at Mai “All right. What’s your question?”

 

“What’s a penis?”

 

There was a loud smash behind them, Shizuo blanched and cursed at the broken plates in the sink. He turned steadily to see Izaya and Mai staring at him, though the raven was trying very hard not to laugh. Shizuo glared at him and then came to sit back at the table. Izaya turned to Mai, he couldn’t believe what she just said. “Um. Mai, that’s a- very…adult word. Where did you hear that?”

 

“Is it a bad word?”

 

“Yes!” Shizuo yelled, Izaya frowned at him

 

“No its not” Izaya turned back to their daughter “Mai. You know how you’re a girl, and we’re- not”

 

Mai nodded “Cause you’re a boy”

 

Izaya smiled “Right. Well, a male has a different part of the body…down there”

 

“Izaya!”

 

“What? I’m trying to explain to her”

 

“Not like that!”

 

Mai tilted her head curiously “What for?”

 

Shizuo shoved him “Well done”

 

Izaya shifted awkwardly. “Well. Erm….it’s what they pee from”

 

Mai frowned in confusion “But why do they need a different part for that?”

 

“It helps to make a baby”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened “What the hell?”

 

Mai grew more curious “How?”

 

Shizuo banged his head on the table “Oh god”

 

Izaya really wished he hadn’t opened his mouth; he could have said ‘when you’re older’ but noooo. “When two people decide to make a baby, the male puts his-” Izaya coughed slightly “Penis…, inside the woman, and something comes out and that grows into a baby in the woman’s tummy until its ready to come out”

 

Shizuo was still banging his head on the table “Why. Why. Why”

 

“But the male and female have to be in love, and at least- twenty years old”

  
“Twenty five” Shizuo interjected with a frown

 

Izaya rolled his eyes “Twenty five” he repeated, he looked at their daughter nervously “Do- you have any more questions?” _why did I ask that?_

Mai seemed to be thinking it over, she looked a little confused. “Does that mean someone put their penis in my mummy?”

 

Shizuo covered his face “Just kill me now”

 

Izaya nudged him with a frown “Don’t be dramatic” though he was screaming on the inside. “Y-yes. But sometimes….couples might not love each other anymore, so they split up and the mother might choose to have her baby on her own”

 

“Oh”

 

Izaya sighed tiredly “I think it’s time for bed now ok?”

 

“I have one more, pleeeease?”

 

Izaya closed his eyes for a second, he opened them and nodded “All right. One more question”

 

“You said that two boys can be in love, cause you and daddy are”

 

Izaya didn’t like where this was going “R-right…”

 

“What happens when daddy puts his penis into you?”

 

Izaya paled significantly and let out a little squeak “What?”

 

Shizuo just wanted to crawl under the table and simply die right now.

 

“Can you make a baby if daddy puts his penis into you?”

 

 _Oh god, why me?_ “No Mai”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because I don’t have a womb”

 

Shizuo lifted his head “Izaya seriously, stop talking”

 

Izaya kicked him in the leg “Shh. A baby has to grow inside a part called a womb, and only females have those”

 

“Oh” she seemed satisfied with that answer and then- “Is that what the boy at school meant when he said that I can’t have two daddies?”

 

Izaya sighed, why was his child so damn curious about everything? She definitely got that from him. “A child can have two daddies, just not that way” Izaya stood up “And you’re not suppose to be asking anymore questions. Bedtime young lady”

 

“But, but! Is that why Mummy gave you to me too? Cause you wanted a baby?”

 

Izaya pinched the bridge of his nose “Mai”

 

“So why did that boy say it wasn’t allowed?”

 

“Our country doesn’t like it. it’s not supposed to be allowed on documents”

 

Mai covered her mouth and then pressed her finger to her lips. “It’s a secret?”

 

Izaya groaned and just nodded “Yes. It’s a secret. Now,” Izaya lifted her up and kissed her cheek “Go brush your teeth and get into bed. We’ll be up in a minute to say goodnight”

 

Mai nodded happily as Izaya put her down “Ok!” she then ran out of the kitchen

 

“Don’t run up the stairs!” Izaya called after her

 

“Ok!”

 

Izaya huffed and slumped back into the chair “Un-fucking-believable”

 

Shizuo sighed “Did we seriously just have the sex talk with her?”

 

Izaya turned to him with an annoyed frown “ _We?_ What part of that was _we?_ You just sat there and didn’t utter a single word”

 

Shizuo covered his face “I’m sorry! I didn’t know what the hell to say! I don’t know how to talk about stuff like that to a little kid. And she’s a girl, and she’s so curious”

 

“Well I didn’t know what to say either”

 

Shizuo snorted “You seemed to know plenty”

 

“I was rambling! You could have said something, or stopped me”

 

“I tried, but you kept kicking me in the leg”

 

Izaya swiped a hand over his hair with a sigh. “She’s growing up Shizu-chan. We need to expect this kind of thing now. more so now that she’s started school. There’ll be other questions. We don’t want to lie. I read something about this, honesty is best, otherwise she’ll just get more confused later on”

 

Shizuo nodded “You’re right. I know you’re right. Its just- she’s just suddenly not so little anymore”

 

Izaya chuckled and stood up, he wrapped his arms around Shizuo’s neck from behind. “Come on, let’s go to bed”

 

“I’m done!” they heard a loud voice come from upstairs and both laughed.

 

……………………

 

Shizuo opened his eyes for the fourth time, he couldn’t sleep, something was playing on his mind. He looked over at Izaya, wondering whether he should wake him. Shizuo leaned over and nudged him, Izaya batted his hand away. “I’m still sore” he muttered and buried himself under the covers. Shizuo rolled his eyes, did Izaya actually think that was all he thought about? Shizuo nudged him again a little harder.

 

“Izaya. I can’t sleep”

 

“Well I can”

 

Shizuo huffed, he rolled onto his back, hands behind his head. “I keep thinking about those emails”

 

Izaya opened his eyes then, he shifted and flicked the bedside lamp on. He sat up and Shizuo looked up at him and then shifted up to the same level. “I told you, it’s nothing”

 

“But what if its not? We don’t know for sure if they’ve forgotten about us”

 

“It’s been six years. They’re very unlikely to start pursuing us now”

 

Shizuo frowned “That doesn’t make me feel better. Regardless if its them or not, someone is still threatening you”

 

“It’s a prank Shizu-chan. A very pathetic one. It’s really nothing to worry about”

 

Shizuo sat up a little more and held Izaya’s hand “Izaya, I think- I think we should move away”

 

Izaya’s eyes widened “Where did that come from?”

 

“It’s not that I don’t love this city- but, we’re never going to escape all the danger if we stay here much longer. What about Mai? What if something happens to her, because of us? What if either of us piss someone off one day and-” Izaya lay a finger against Shizuo’s lips.

 

“You’re worrying too much. Everything is ok. we’re not in danger, Mai isn’t in danger. This is our home Shizu-chan, our city, everyone we care about lives here. my whole life is here, yours too. I don’t want to leave. Besides, Mai has just started her first year at school, it was hard enough getting her into there without giving too much away that we’re her active parents”

 

Shizuo looked down at his lap, his hand still closed around Izaya’s. he nodded. “I guess so”

 

“We’ve got a great number of friends that will do anything to make sure Mai is safe. But I think we’ve done a good job of keeping ourselves out of trouble since we’ve had Mai, don’t you think?”

 

Shizuo huffed a laugh and hugged him “You’re right. Maybe I am worrying too much”

 

Izaya smiled and kissed him on the lips “We’re safe, ok?”

 

Shizuo nodded and Izaya switched off the light and the two settled back into the covers. Unbeknownst to each other, both sporting worried expressions, that neither of them were entirely convinced they were really safe.

 

 

……………………..

 

Two weeks later……….

 

Izaya leaned against the back of his couch, listening to the person on the other end of the phone ramble on about his company. He kept a close eye on Mai, who was running around the apartment, playing who knows what game right now. he turned away for a second. “Your company is already on the verge of collapse even before the sabotage, you’re just looking for someone else to blame” Izaya rolled his eyes when the man started yelling at him. Like it was his fault. He listened until he finished and was about to reply, he turned back around, and his eyes fell on Mai. He pulled the phone away, placing the person on hold and yelled “Mai get down from there!” Izaya’s heart almost leapt into his mouth, Mai looked down at him with a pout. Izaya ran over and grabbed her from the shelving that reached just above his head. He placed her down safely and gave her a stern but worried look. “You know you’re not suppose to climb on furniture like that. you could have seriously hurt yourself, what if you had fallen off?”

 

Mai ducked her head slightly. “Sorry…”

 

Izaya sighed “What kind of game are you even playing?”

 

Mai grinned up at him. “Parkour!”

 

Izaya blinked, how the hell did she even…. “Mai. Where did you even learn that?”

 

“Miss Namie said that you and daddy were esperts!”

 

Izaya groaned, what the hell was Namie teaching his child? _Note to self, reduce Namie’s pay._ “Mai, that’s a very dangerous thing to do. It’s not for everyone, please don’t ever do that again. You’re much too young, you could seriously injure yourself”

 

Mai hunched a little and looked down at the floor. “K….”

 

Izaya smiled, she looked so deflated. “Listen. After I finish this phone call, I’ll take you to the park, there’s a lot of climbing frames there right? We’ll play pretend, ok?”

 

Mai looked up with a gleeful smile. “Really!?”

 

Izaya nodded “Really. No more climbing on the furniture ok?”

 

Mai nodded and skipped away to do something else. Izaya breathed a sigh of relief, he hadn’t had to be stern with her before. He glanced down at his phone, realising the man was still on hold. He clicked the button and was yelled at again for being placed on hold. Izaya sneered. “You realise that pinning the blame on someone else, regardless of their part in the damage, will just cause more complications?” Izaya listened to the man rage on until-

 

“I don’t care! Its their damn fault I tell you! I’ll pay you whatever you want, get rid of them!”

 

Izaya frowned “I’m not in any position to do that. I can create a rift and shift the damage onto them, but I will not help you ‘get rid of them’”

 

“You’re an informant! You can-”

 

Izaya hung up, scowling at his phone “What a moron” he then looked up with a smile “All right Mai. I’m done, we can- MAI!!”

 

“You can’t defeat me! I’m too strong and quick for you!” Mai was still running around the apartment, however…. Izaya ran over to her, and quickly grabbed her arms tightly.

 

“Mai what are doing!!? Give me that now!!” Mai stilled. Her eyes wide. Never had he shouted at her like that before. “Do you have any idea how dangerous this is!!?”

 

“B-but…Iz-nii has one…”

 

“This is mine!! Where did you even get this from!!? And how did you even know about this!?”

 

Mai’s eyes began to water “I was…only playing….”

 

“This isn’t a toy Mai!! This is a very sharp weapon!! It’s a knife Mai! You know better then to play with knives!!” Izaya angrily, but gently took his switchblade from her hand and pocketed it.

 

Mai frowned and stomped her foot. “Iz-nii does!”

 

Izaya’s eyes narrowed “I have it for self defence reasons!! It’s not a toy! It’s for protection only!”

 

Mai knew she was in trouble, she looked up into Izaya’s eyes, he was so angry. “I just wanted to be like Iz-nii!”

 

Izaya stood up “I don’t want you to be like me! It’s too dangerous!” Mai’s eyes watered more, a few tears slipped from her face and she ran off and up the stairs. “Mai!” Izaya ran to the bottom of the stairs. “I didn’t mean it like-” he heard the door slam shut. Izaya seethed and kicked at the banister in frustration. He knew he shouldn’t have said that. he sat on the couch, wondering if he yelled too much, whether he might have upset her, had he been too hard on her? When he saw the knife in her hand….it just looked- so wrong. His body reacted on instinct, he feared for her safety. What was Namie thinking anyway? What had she shown their daughter? They had tried so hard to keep her away from their daily lives, up until now, Mai didn’t even know he had a switchblade; and parkour? How exactly did Namie even explain that? still angry, Izaya pulled out his cell and called Namie. When her monotone voice picked up. “So. Care to share why you so suddenly felt the need to tell my daughter about what goes on in my life?”

 

“What are you talking about now?”

 

Izaya narrowed his eyes “You know damn well what I’m talking about! What gives you the right to start telling her about my skills? Parkour? My switchblade!? Namie! Do you have any idea what that could do to everything we’ve worked for? didn’t you think about what showing a child that could do!? Everything is a game to her right now! she started climbing the furniture and the shelves in our living room, and when I asked her what she was doing, she said parkour! And when I asked her how she knew about that, she proudly announced your name”

 

“Izaya-”

 

“I’m not done! As if that wasn’t enough to indulge her little play games, she found my knife! If I hadn’t had been right there, she would have severely injured herself! I know you don’t care for any kind of responsibility for anything, except for your fucking twisted love for your brother! Get fucking over it, he’s not in love with you, he never has been”

 

“How dare you!”

 

“How dare I!? just because you’re still stuck in the same obsessive cycle, that doesn’t give you the right to take it out on me by showing my daughter _my_ past”

 

“That isn’t what-”

 

“I don’t want to hear it anymore. I never want to see you again. You’re fired”

 

Namie’s eyes widened “Wha…?” but he had hung up. She looked at the phone, scowling and then threw it across the room. “Bastard!”

 

Izaya chucked his phone across the couch, his hands were shaking, he’d never been so angry, never yelled so much….he took several deep breaths, trying to calm down. He looked over at the stairs, glancing up, he really should go and see Mai. He stood up, making sure to take another deep breath before he made his way up to her room.

 

Izaya knocked gently. “Mai, it’s me” he said just as gently, keeping his voice soft.

 

“Go away!”

 

Izaya winced but couldn’t help but feel a little proud at her feisty stubbornness, she probably got that from both of them. “Mai. Can I come in? I just want to talk to you. I promise I won’t yell”

 

“I want daddy!”

 

Izaya sighed. He lay his palm on the door, his forehead resting on its frame. “I’m sorry Mai. I didn’t mean to scare you….I was just worried that you might hurt yourself” he knew the door wasn’t locked or anything, but he wanted to give her the choice whether she saw him or not. “Mai?”

 

“No!”

 

Izaya leaned off the door, he felt awful, but he respected her wish not to see him. She’d come down when she was ready, this was the first time they’d really ever argued with her. She was only six, Izaya didn’t know how to really punish her, and what for? She was a curious child, playful and happy; it wasn’t her fault that Namie showed her those things. Izaya was angrier that he believed Mai was older than she actually was, she was smart for her age, but sometimes he forgot that she was still a little girl. She knew better then to play with sharp objects, or to climb on the furniture, but; children did bad things that parents didn’t like sometimes, even if they knew it was wrong. Izaya could have dealt with the parkour thing, it wasn’t a big issue, he was willing to take Mai to the park and play a pretend game of it with her. But, once he saw the knife in her hand, that drew the line! He could only see a much younger version of himself in her, and he felt sick. Mai would not grow up to be like him! At least, not how he used to be.  “Mai…I’m sorry I yelled. I’ll be waiting for you downstairs ok? come out when you’re ready”

 

 

……………………..

 

Izaya glanced at the clock, it had been three hours now, Mai still hadn’t come out of her room. He had given her some space, but now he was going to talk to her properly whether she liked it or not. Then again, Shizuo would probably be home very soon, he wondered whether it might be a good idea to let her see him first. He sighed and switched on the television, the woman on the screen was happily explaining the weather forecast for the upcoming week, it looked like they were in for some storms soon. It was due, since the air had been so dry and mugging lately. “What’s so cheerful about that?” he muttered. He then heard the door open and shut behind him, he smiled and leaned over the top of the couch, arms resting on the edge as he turned to his lover. “Hey. How was work?”

 

Shizuo looked at him for a moment, as if trying to figure out how to respond. “Don’t ask”

 

Izaya raised an eyebrow and then chuckled “That bad huh?” Izaya stood up and walked toward him, he wrapped his arms around Shizuo’s neck with a small grin. “Well you’re home now” Izaya leaned in to kiss him, he frowned as soon as their lips met, something felt off. “Are you ok? the boss isn’t mad at you is he?”

 

“What? No, why should he be?”

 

Izaya tilted his head, Shizuo was clearly in a bad mood, but he shrugged. “Do you want to get a takeout tonight?” Shizuo nodded and scanned the room for a moment. “Mai’s in her room” Izaya said, as if knowing that was who he was looking for.

 

Izaya followed Shizuo to the couch and watched him sit down. Izaya sat next to him, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. “Did something bad happen at work today?”

 

Shizuo looked over at him “Do I have to talk about it?”

 

Izaya huffed a laugh “Not if you don’t want to”

 

“Then stop asking me”

 

Izaya frowned at him, he had no idea why Shizuo was angry, but that wasn’t important right now. “Shizu-chan. There was an incident with Mai today, she won’t come out of her room, and she said she’ll only see you right now. I think I upset her because I yelled at her”

 

“Did she do something bad?”

 

“Well, I suppose so but-”

 

“Then what’s the problem? She’s obviously sulking”

 

Izaya clenched a fist unseen, his entire being was screaming at him that something was really wrong, but…. “Can you just go talk to her? She just wants to see you”

 

Shizuo sighed and stood up “Fine” Izaya watched him go, eyes following him up the stairs. He felt as though he should follow him, not quite shaking this feeling. Izaya shook his head, even if Shizuo was in a bad mood, Mai would cheer him up, he wouldn’t take it out on her.

 

Izaya glanced at his phone, reaching over and seeing that he had a missed call. Satoshi. “He doesn’t usually call unless it’s urgent” he muttered; he was about to call him back when he heard Mai’s voice.

 

“No!” Izaya sighed, obviously Shizuo didn’t have much luck with her either. She soon come barrelling down the stairs and Izaya stood up as she ran at him, clinging to him tightly.

 

“Whoa! Mai, what’s wrong?”

 

Mai looked up at him, he could see fear behind her eyes, what the hell? “Not daddy!”

 

“What?” Izaya knelt down to her eye level “What are you talking about Mai?”

 

Mai looked behind her, clenching her tiny fists against Izaya’s shirt. “Not daddy” Izaya glanced up to see Shizuo reach the bottom steps.

 

“What happened?”

 

Shizuo narrowed his eyes “I don’t know! I was trying to talk to her about what happened, and she started squirming away”

 

Mai clung tighter as Izaya stood up, his phone rang again, he kept his eyes on Shizuo, wondering what the hell had gotten into him. He answered the call. It was Satoshi again. “I’m kind of in the middle of something right now”

 

“Izaya! Thank god you answered! You should probably get down to the station”

 

“What for?”

 

“Shizuo’s been arrested, I’m not sure as to why, something about violent abuse-”

 

Izaya’s mind blanked as he stared at the person in front of him, his hand tightening on the phone. “S-say that again” he could not have heard right

 

“I’m not at the station, a close work colleague called me, something about abuse, I’m not sure”

 

“Before that, what did you say?”

 

“Shizuo’s been arrested; Izaya are you ok?”

 

Izaya’s heart began to beat incredibly fast, he swallowed the lump in his throat. “When?”

 

“I don’t know, I got the call about three hours ago, I’ve been trying to call you, I even called Namie, she said you were at home with Mai, but she didn’t sound very happy”

 

 _If Shizu-chan is at the police station_ Izaya looked at the blond standing before them

 

“Izaya? Izaya is something wrong?”

 

Mai looked up at Izaya and back to the other man. “Not daddy!” she said again

 

“Shut up you little brat!”

 

Izaya pushed Mai behind him, a sudden swell of panic and anger stirred within him, there was only one person that ever called her that before. “Sato….” It was him, it had to be, but…. He looked like- why the hell did he look so much like Shizuo!?

 

“Izaya!? Izaya! What’s going on!? Talk to me! Did you say Sato!? Is he there? Izaya!” Izaya hung up the phone, placing it in his pocket.

 

“Mai. Listen very carefully. Go upstairs, into my bedroom, and lock the door. don’t come out no matter what you hear”

  
“Iz-nii?”

 

“Do it”

 

Mai looked over at the stranger, that man was not her daddy, she knew that. but- she started to panic. “I want to stay with you” she wrapped her arms around his waist.

 

“It’s ok. just do what I asked. Lock the door and don’t come out until I say so” Izaya kept his eyes trained on ‘Shizuo’ he knew it, he knew right from the start that something was wrong, he just didn’t want to believe it! he could have put Mai in serious danger! He nudged Mai to co-operate, she looked up at him, she looked so scared. Izaya smiled. “It’ll be all right” Mai pulled away and ran as fast as she could, she passed the blond and ran up the stairs, Izaya’s eyes narrowed as soon as he heard the door slam. He quickly withdrew his flick blade and lunged forward, catching the man off guard and swiped the sharp knife across his face. Izaya kicked out and the man doubled over when a foot connected to his abdomen. The raven jumped on him and they toppled to the floor, Izaya held his knife firmly against his neck. “Who are you?”

 

The man smirked up at him. “Nice to see you again. Did you think I would just forget about you?”

 

“Sato” Izaya hissed, pressing the blade harder against skin.

 

Sato laughed “I can’t believe you almost fell for it. I didn’t think I was that good of an actor. It took me a long time though, to look this convincing. Did you think I was just going to let you get away with it? I’ve just been biding my time, waiting…. She’s growing up to be a beautiful child, well done. She’ll be a lot more use to me now”

 

Izaya grew incredibly angry “You won’t lay a finger on her!” he raised his knife, which he knew was a mistake, giving Sato the chance to defend himself. Sato grabbed his wrist before Izaya could deliver a blow. The informant grit his teeth, trying to lower the weapon.

 

“It was rather coincidental, that Shizuo got arrested, but it worked out incredibly well for me. It was the perfect time to strike, I just couldn’t wait any longer” Sato squeezed Izaya’s wrist until the raven was forced to let go of the knife. Sato pushed him off and kicked the knife away. Izaya cradled his hand, trying to ignore the pain and get to his feet. “My plan was to just get the girl at school, but then that’s no fun when I could just as well take out my revenge on you” Sato lifted his foot and kicked Izaya in the side. Izaya yelped as he fell on his back, he glared up at Sato as the man hovered over him. Seeing his opportunity, Izaya bent his leg and kicked him hard in the shin and a loud snap was heard. Sato yelled out as he fell backwards onto the floor, gripping his leg. Izaya got up quickly and ran toward his knife, he grabbed it, favouring his right hand, and span around, only to be struck in the face by a fist. He stumbled back and raised his knife to swipe Sato across the arm before dodging his next move. Sato bellowed at him, becoming extremely angry. Sato grabbed a vase and threw it at the raven, Izaya dodged it and it smashed against the wall.

 

Sato was on him again and Izaya threw his hand out against his chest and brought his knife down on Sato’s shoulder. Sato yelled out and blood seeped through his fingers as he gripped his shoulder, moving away from Izaya. The raven watched him reach for the handle and yank the knife out, throwing it to the floor, Sato glared at him viciously. _How is he still standing?_ Izaya jumped when Sato ran at him, he ducked an oncoming fist and Sato ended up with his hand through the wall. Izaya ran for the knife again as Sato yanked his bloodied hand away, leaving a hole in its wake.

 

“You’re dead Izaya!”

 

Izaya frowned, it was rather unsettling to be fighting someone that looked a lot like his lover right now. Sato had even gotten his voice to match. “You won’t hurt Mai!” he gripped the handle and brought the knife down again, Sato managed to grab his arm this time. He pushed Izaya backwards and then flung him off, Izaya hissed in pain as his back hit the banister and he fell to the floor. He groaned, trying to lift himself up when a foot slammed into his stomach. Izaya coughed and curled slightly as Sato repeated his attack several times. He stopped and grinned, then his attention turned to the stairs.

 

“That brat belongs to me. I’ll finish you off once I get her, I’ll make her watch” Sato left Izaya in favour of climbing the stairs to get to Mai. Izaya’s determination to protect her soared. He grabbed the railing and pulled himself up with tremendous effort and reached through the gap, grabbing holding of Sato’s ankle, he yanked on it and Sato fell backwards with a loud thud. Seeing that Sato wasn’t moving, Izaya spotted his knife beside him and made his way toward the fallen enemy.

 

“You’ll….never touch her…” Izaya said, holding his knife out in front of him. He glared at him for several moments, before finally letting his guard drop a little, satisfied that Sato wasn’t getting back up. “You….won’t ever…harm her” Izaya froze when he heard a light chuckle, Sato’s eyes snapped open and he jumped to his feet quickly. Izaya was so surprised that he didn’t have time to react, Sato punched him hard across the face, he followed after, grabbing a fist full of Izaya’s hair and brought his knee forward to his stomach. Izaya fell to his knees with a pained groan, coughing and trying desperately to get back up. The raven yelped again when a foot connected to his face, Sato shadowed over him for a moment.

 

“I’ll be sure to take good care of her” Sato said with a smirk and turned his back once again, heading for the stairs. Izaya seethed in anger, ignoring his bruised body and pushed himself to his feet. He ran forward and jumped on Sato’s back, the man stumbled slightly, growling in anger.

 

“Leave my daughter alone!” Izaya desperately curled his arm around Sato’s neck, but he wasn’t sure if he was strong enough now to end it.

  
“If you wanted to die so badly, then I suppose I’ll just kill you first!” Sato smashed his elbow into Izaya’s stomach, turned around and shoved him hard, Izaya hit the glass table with a cry of agony as it smashed from under him. Sato laughed and limped over to the fallen informant. “I didn’t think that would actually work”

 

Izaya arched slightly as his body twitched in pain, he looked up through blurred vision as Sato’s hands suddenly wrapped around his neck. Immediately, Izaya’s own hands came around Sato’s wrists, his grip was weak, and he could barely move, but he struggled against him anyway. Izaya clenched his eyes shut, struggling for breath, he could feel shards of glass digging into his back and his arms as Sato leaned further down, tightening his grip. “Mai…” he managed to croak out before his hands went slack and then-

 

BANG!

 

Sato’s eyes widened, his whole frame still as he looked down and saw a seeping red hole in his chest. “Wha…?”

 

Sato turned to look behind him

 

BANG!

 

Sato’s head snapped back, his eyes glazing over as he fell back. Izaya groaned at the extra weight, coughing as air rushed back to his lungs, he managed to gather enough strength to push the body off. He hissed and tried to sit up, but he couldn’t move, his whole body ached. As if only just registering what happened, he looked over to discover Sato’s lifeless body, a bullet in both his chest and his head. He looked toward the door, expecting to see Satoshi standing there. his eyes widened when he found that wasn’t the case. “N-Namie…?”

 

She was breathing a little heavily, most likely from the adrenaline of pulling the trigger, her eyes narrowed dangerously. “Are you all right?” she asked eventually, lowering the gun.

 

Izaya didn’t answer, too surprised by her actions. He rolled onto his front with a few pained grunts, pushing himself onto his elbows before coughing a large amount of blood. Namie ran over to him, treading carefully around the broken glass, she reached an arm around his shoulder and he yelped as she pulled him to his feet. She could see the lacerations that grazed his body through the tears in his clothes. “How….did you know?”

 

Namie moved them away from the broken glass toward the couch. “When Satoshi called me and told me what happened, I got a bad feeling. Except I was incredibly pissed at you. but, I couldn’t just do nothing when you might need help. And with Shizuo in jail, well… and if anyone is going to kill you, it should be me at least”

 

Izaya chuckled before a trickle of blood escaped his mouth “Ugh…” Izaya clutched his stomach.

 

“I’m calling an ambulance…”

 

“No…. I’ll be all right…I have to see if Mai….if she’s ok”

 

Namie huffed in annoyance, there was no telling how injured he was, she looked up then, her eyes landing on a familiar sight. “Izaya…”

 

Izaya felt her tense and he looked up “Mai…” he pulled away from Namie and stumbled over to his daughter. She was shaking and fear was etched on her face. “Mai….it’s ok now….I’m ok”

 

“Iz-nii…?” Mai glanced over at the man on the floor, the dead man.

 

“Don’t look at him Mai….just keep looking at me…ngh…” Izaya collapsed to his knees with a grunt of pain, an arm cradling his stomach. He gritted his teeth before looking up at Mai, smiling weakly. “It’s….ok Mai. We’re safe now…” Mai suddenly burst into tears and ran to the raven, he hissed when she jumped in his arms, he was in pain, but he didn’t care. He wrapped his arms securely around her, her face buried in his shirt as she sobbed loudly. He rubbed her back gently, trying to calm her down. “He won’t us anymore…I promise”

 

Namie sighed in relief as she slumped on the couch. “Thank god I got here in time” she muttered, but Izaya heard her.

 

He turned around, bringing Mai with him since she refused to let him go. “Namie..?”

 

She looked up at him with a slight frown “What?”

 

“Thank you…”

 

Namie rolled her eyes “You’re just lucky I’m a nice person”

 

Izaya grinned a little and then his face grew more serious “I mean it. you saved my life, and Mai’s. Thank you”

 

Namie nodded, a smile showing at the corners of her mouth. “I better get a raise for this”

 

Izaya chuckled “Does that mean you still want to work for me?”

 

Namie stood with her hands on her hips. “Who else would put up with you?”

 

All three jumped when a familiar voice caught their ears. “Izaya!! Mai!!”

 

Izaya looked up, recognising that voice instantly, Mai’s head came up and looked at the door with tears clouding her eyes. “Daddy?”

 

Shizuo appeared in the doorway, taking in the cracked wall and the broken glass everywhere before his eyes found them. “Oh god”

 

Mai looked at him for a moment, before she ran over with a cry. “Daddy!”

 

Shizuo knelt down and scooped his little girl up, holding her to him. “Thank god you’re ok” Izaya stood shakily on his feet, he stumbled forward and stopped a few feet away.

 

“Shizu-chan…”

 

Shizuo looked at him “Izaya, you’re hurt…”

 

Izaya smiled weakly “I’ll be all right….”  

 

Shizuo’s eyes clouded slightly before reaching for him, Izaya winced as he was pulled into a tight hug. “You’re safe. I was so worried, thank god you’re both ok” Shizuo wrapped his arms around both of them. “I love you both so much”

 

Izaya’s hand came around to clutch at Shizuo’s back, his body throbbed with pain, but he didn’t care. Shizuo was here with them now, Mai was safe, that’s all that mattered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo's arrest will be explained more in the next chapter. I hope that chapter was exciting, there's a lot more drama and angst to follow.


	7. Love me or leave me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. Been super busy! 
> 
> Thank you for the continued support! I love you all!

A few weeks had passed since the incident with Sato. Mai had only questioned about why the man attacked them, so Izaya and Shizuo just told her that he had been there to rob them. They also took the time to explain to her about strangers. Don’t talk to them, don’t accept any rides from them, don’t leave the school until someone she knew was there to get her.

 

Izaya heard the alarm from Shizuo’s side go off and then a slam to shut it up came after. Izaya grinned to himself, the blond really wasn’t a morning person, never had been, never would be. Shizuo shifted and rolled over and snuggled into the raven’s side, wrapping his arm around him. “Morning Shizu-chan” Shizuo grunted and covered his head with the cover. “It’s time to get up Shizu-chan~”

 

“Shh. Shizu-chan is sleeping” Izaya pushed against Shizuo’s shoulder to roll him over, only to be pulled with him. Izaya laughed and rested his elbows on Shizuo’s chest. He leaned over and lightly pressed his lips against Shizuo’s. the blond grabbed him and rolled them over, he looked at him through half lidded eyes. “Morning”

 

Izaya grinned up at him “Morning”

 

Feeling more awake, Shizuo leaned down and nibbled against Izaya’s neck, earning a low pleasurable moan. Izaya arched up and wrapped his arms around Shizuo’s neck, craning his head to give better access. “Izaya….”

 

“Mmm….” Izaya felt Shizuo’s hardened bulge against him “Morning indeed” Shizuo grinned and pressed against him.

 

The door suddenly burst open and Mai came running into the room. Izaya and Shizuo pulled away quickly, covering themselves halfway. “Daddy! Iz-nii! Breakfast time!” Mai jumped up on the bed and crawled over to them. “Up!”

 

Shizuo smiled at her, though he was trying to hide his discomfort. “All right. We’re up. Now get your little butt downstairs, I’ll be down in a minute” Mai smiled brightly and climbed off the bed and ran out of the room. Once she was gone, Izaya began to laugh. “Shut up!”

 

Izaya chuckled and sat up, his hand coming up to grope his lover through the fabric of their covers. Shizuo shoved Izaya off and grabbed his clothes set out from last night and stormed into the bathroom. Izaya grinned and shrugged. Shizuo came out two seconds later, reached over the bed, grabbed his lover and stalked back into the bathroom. “Shizu-chan!”

 

 

 

Mai was happily eating her chocolate curls, swinging her legs under the table. Shizuo was sat opposite her eating the same cereal. Izaya stood beside the kitchen counter with a coffee in his hand. “You remember what we told you Mai?” he asked, Mai looked over at him and nodded proudly.

 

“Don’t leave the school until Grandma Miko comes to get me!”

 

Shizuo smiled, he was so proud of her. Mai couldn’t pronounce his parent’s names too well yet, so ever since she was three, his mother had been named Miko, and his father had been named Koko, they had no idea why, but it seemed to stick. “That’s right. Good girl” Shizuo said. “Why don’t you go and get dressed if you’ve finished”

 

Mai stood up, taking her bowl. “Ok!” Mai took her bowl to the sink and tiptoed, gently placing it down. She then hurried through the living room and up the stairs.

 

Izaya took his phone out of his pocket and opened up an email he’d received. :We’ll meet soon. Izaya: Izaya frowned and his thumb hovered over the word delete. This was the fifth email he’d received since Sato was shot dead in their apartment. Izaya kept it to himself, he couldn’t worry Shizuo with something like this, the blond thought Sato had been sending him the threats before, and Izaya was going to let him think that it was true. At first, Izaya thought the same thing, until five days after Sato, he started receiving them again. Sato was not the one who had threatened him. The thing that disturbed Izaya the most, was that he didn’t have any idea who it was, the email from which it came, couldn’t be traced, it changed every time.

 

“What’s wrong?” Izaya didn’t realise Shizuo was watching him, he looked up and smiled.

 

“Nothing”

 

“Right. And you haven’t been trying to burn a hole in your phone with your eyes for the last five minutes”

 

Izaya chuckled “Just thinking about my reply”

 

“Client?”

 

“Mm hm” Izaya hated lying to him, he knew Shizuo would lose it if he found out someone was still threatening him. “So. Mai is at your parents for the weekend” Izaya smirked

 

Shizuo rolled his eyes, he sometimes wondered who had the most sexual appetite between them. Izaya always denied it was him, but Shizuo would argue that case over and over. Shizuo grinned back and walked over to him, he kissed him quickly, pressing him against the counter. “Can’t wait” Shizuo pulled away, laughing as Izaya’s eyes were closed, trying to find Shizuo’s lips again. Izaya opened his eyes with a pout.

 

“Mean”

 

Shizuo kissed him again and then turned around as he heard Mai shout, “I’m done!” and then little padded footsteps come down the stairs. Izaya followed Shizuo into the living room and helped Mai into her coat and then zipped it up.

 

“Be good for Miko and Koko. We’ll see you in a couple of days ok?” Mai gave him a tight hug.

 

“Miss you”

 

“I’ll miss you too” Izaya stood up and then kissed Shizuo on the lips. “See you tonight. Be good at work Shizu-chan” Izaya grinned a little.

 

“Tst. Same goes for you” Shizuo then held his hand out for Mai “Come on little one, we don’t want you to be late do we?”

 

Mai shook her head

 

Izaya watched them walk out of the door with a smile as Mai waved at him until they were gone. He shut the door with a sigh, resting his palm flat on the door frame.  He felt guilt stab at his chest, he should be honest with Shizuo, but this was as dangerous for Mai as it was for them. Yet so far, whoever it was, had only threatened him, not his family, yet. Izaya knew it was stupid to ignore the threats, especially because of said family, had he just been on his own, he probably wouldn’t care, in fact, he’d have just laughed and become excited.

 

Izaya’s phone rang and he answered as he leant against the door. “Hello?”

 

“Hey Izaya. I have some information I want to run by you, it links to that case I went undercover for 5 and a half years ago”

 

Izaya stood straight and immediately grabbed his coat as he toed on his shoes. “Meet me at my office in half hour” he grabbed his keys and was out the door in seconds.

 

“Wow. Thought I’d have to convince you more first. What gives?” Satoshi teased

 

Izaya made his way down the flights of stairs of the apartment complex as he continued the conversation, he didn’t want to risk running into Shizuo. If the blond knew he was talking with Satoshi, he’d know something was wrong. “I have something I want to get your input in too. It most likely relates”

 

Satoshi somewhat laughed “Ah. So I guess it’s the good ole fashion ‘information for information’ why can’t it ever be one sided?”

 

“Because that’s not how you and I work. That would mean I’d be working with you, and we can’t have you getting the wrong idea can we?” Izaya grinned as he stepped off the last step, nodded a thanks to the lobby attendant as he held the door open for him. Izaya stepped outside into the slightly cold air and regretted not grabbing his warmer coat. “Besides. I’m still an information broker. If I didn’t have any info to swap with you, you’d have to pay me right?”

 

Satoshi tutted and then chucked, despite being friends, Izaya was all business whenever they conversed with each other.

 

....………..........................

 

Namie brought tea over to the table to which Izaya and Satoshi were sat on the two recliners opposite one another. “Namie. Take a break” Izaya told her.

 

Namie looked at him, hand on her hip. She wouldn’t admit it out loud, but she was still happy to continue being his assistant, and relieved at the same time that he and Mai were safe, that she’d gotten there in time. It felt like a lifetime ago now, but back when she worked for him before he got with Shizuo, she would have gladly let someone kill him, probably.... she blinked when she realised what he’d said and looked at her watch. “It’s only 10”

 

Izaya looked over at her and shooed her “Take a long break. Don’t come back until after lunch”

 

Namie huffed “You could have just told me not to come in until then”

 

Izaya shrugged with a grin “Blame Satoshi. I didn’t know he wanted my attention today until less then an hour ago”

 

Satoshi held his hand up in apology. “Yeah. My bad”

 

Namie sighed and then grabbed her bag and headed for the door. She looked back at them, wondering what was so important that she couldn’t be in the room when they spoke. _Not my problem_ she thought, but she knew she would worry as though it were.

 

Once Namie was gone, Izaya turned back to Satoshi as he took his tea from the table. “You first”

 

Satoshi nodded. “All right. Remember that day you brought Mai to Sato’s office? I was undercover at the time”

 

“Of course I remember”

 

“Yeah. Anyway, obviously that group of people was heavily involved in trafficking immigrants from other counties”

 

“You said that they smuggled them in, I believe they hired an old acquaintance of mine, Morito”

 

“Yes. They are extremely careful; they didn’t take just random people off the street like the pharmaceutical company. They are discreet and good at deceit. Which is why we had such a hard time finding out about them”

 

“Well, Sato wasn’t too overly discreet when he attacked me a few weeks ago and tried to kidnap my daughter” there was a hint of anger and disgust in Izaya’s voice for a moment.

 

“But he had a level head on him most of the time. But when you came to the office, he knew you were no amateur, he realised that he was dealing with a pro and he got sloppy. But, hiring Morito probably wasn’t the best of his ideas in the first place. Because of him, there was a slip up in the smuggling of the woman, she wasn’t suppose to be pregnant. Morito tried to cover it up by hiding her until the baby was born. But, then Shizuo and Tom saw, and he was forced to retreat. That’s most likely when Sato learned about you”

 

Izaya placed his cup down and sighed in annoyance. “I already knew all that, I thought you had something more recent to discuss?”

 

“I do. I was getting to that, a few days after you and Shizuo escaped with Mai, I came to you and told you that someone much more dangerous was running the operation, and that those working under him-like Sato and those other men from the office-were likely too scared to admit they messed up”

 

“What are you trying to tell me? Have you finally figured out who’s on top of this organization?”

 

Satoshi nodded “I have a name. But he’s not the sort of person we can find so easily. He has a habit of changing his face a lot, so no one really knows what he actually looks like. He also runs a talent agency I think, but there’s one other thing about him that you need to know”

 

“And what’s that?”

 

“He’s like you Izaya”

 

Izaya narrowed his eyes “I’m nothing like him”

 

Satoshi waved his hands quickly “No, sorry, let me finish. He’s an information broker Izaya”

 

Izaya stilled for a moment, and then he took his phone out. The emails, his current address....Sato. “I’ve received a bunch of emails recently, it started before Sato attacked me, so at first, I thought it was him. But, now I’m starting to think that the person you’re trying to locate, is the one sending me these”

 

Satoshi took Izaya’s phone and scanned over the threatening emails, once he was done he gave the phone back and was more then annoyed. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me about this?”

 

“Because I thought it was Sato at first, or some stupid client. But the email address changes every time, Sato is now dead, so we know for sure it’s not him”

 

Satoshi combed through his hair in frustration. “Damn it. Izaya, this is dangerous, this person most likely knows about you by now. He’s not going to leave you alone”

 

“Why? Why exactly is he after me?”

 

“Sato most likely had to tell him eventually what happened, it was probably the reason why he attacked you in the first place, and to get Mai”

 

Izaya clenched his fists. “For...?”

 

“Well, he is a talent agent”

 

Izaya sneered in disgust. “I get the feeling he’s not a genuine agent, though that is obvious”

 

“He wanted you gone. Because he knows how good you are, he didn’t want you meddling in his business”

 

“I haven’t done anything yet, and neither has my daughter”

 

Satoshi shook his head “Doesn’t matter.  You’ve already interfered enough for his liking when you got involved with Sato, you already knew too much then”

 

Izaya frowned and leaned forward. “This is going to sound selfish. But why is he only after me? Shizu-chan was there too and-“ Izaya looked up, realization dawned on him. “Oh”

 

“He knows about Shizuo. He’s very persuasive Izaya, I imagine he’s the reason Shizuo was arrested, to get him out of the way”

 

“To come after me”

 

“I-I didn’t say this before. But I think Sato was given Shizuo’s appearance to help that accusation along. I don’t know how well he and Sato thought this plan would work, or how little they underestimated your relationship with him, that they thought you’d fall for it”

 

Izaya looked away for a moment “At first glance I did. But the more he spoke, the more I began to get suspicious. Actually, it was Mai for the most part, she figured it out before I did”

 

“A child’s instinct can sometimes outweigh that of an adult’s”

 

“So, he convinced them that- that Shizuo was abusive. Why get him arrested before the attack? Assuming it was even your guy that made the accusation. You said yourself that he changes his appearance, who’s to say that it was even him to begin with? He could have hired someone to do it. Shizu-Chan and I are well known after all”

 

Satoshi shrugged. “I dunno. maybe he didn’t expect you to put up that much of a fight”

 

“Also, now that I think about it, Sato acted like he had no idea Shizuo would be arrested”

 

“He probably didn’t want to give away their part in that”

 

“I didn’t buy it of course; he wasn’t very convincing”

 

“I’m just sorry it happened. I wasn’t at the station to back him”

 

Izaya shrugged “It’s fine, you got him out anyway”

 

Satoshi blinked “Wait what? I didn’t get him out, I thought you did”

 

Izaya gave him a confused look “How could I? I was too busy trying to keep him away from Mai”

 

“Could it have been Namie?”

 

“She would have said something”

 

Satoshi’s eyes widened. “They could be behind the bailing too. Get him released, he comes in to discover your body and they have someone contact the police and that’s it- Shizuo is arrested for your murder”

 

Izaya inwardly shivered, his hands start to shake a little. “That sounds too real”

 

“You weren’t suppose to survive the attack Izaya”

 

“And yet I did. But they didn’t count on Namie either. So does that mean she is also a threat to them?”

 

“I’m not sure. It could be possible”

 

“What about Shizu-Chan?”

 

“He is, but I get the feeling they don’t want to mess with him on a physical level”

 

Izaya huffed a laugh “They do realise that if I die by their hands, he’s going to stop at nothing until he finds them” Satoshi nodded, he didn’t need to be told that, Shizuo would rip them to shreds. “Do I get to know the name of this person?”

 

Satoshi hesitated. He knew that just by giving Izaya a name, the informant would be on him straight away. “Izaya, I don’t think I can”

 

“You’ve told me enough already. Either way, I’ll find out. You might as well tell me, I do have a right to know, he is threatening me after all”

 

Satoshi sighed and then looked sternly into Izaya’s eyes. “You can have the name. But I need you to promise me, that you won’t get yourself involved more then you already are. It’s too dangerous, he could still get to Mai and Shizuo”

 

“I know that. But aren’t you forgetting who I am? You said it yourself” Izaya grinned “I’m a pro”

 

Satoshi almost laughed, but this was too dangerous to be taken lightly. “Sato tricked you before Izaya, when you brought Mai to the office”

 

Izaya pursed his lips “Are you saying I’ve lost my edge?”

 

“I’m saying that you’ve got more important things to worry about now. I know you will go to great lengths to make sure they’re kept safe, but Izaya, you are technically the only one in his way right now, he gets rid of you, he won’t have a need to go after them”

 

“Don’t worry about me. I’m a survivor, a very good one, _he’s_ already underestimated _me_ , so he’s not as good as he thinks either”

 

Satoshi stood up “Talk to Shizuo. See what he thinks, he has a right to know, since we most likely discovered who was behind the accusation”

 

Izaya nodded, but as selfish as it was, he had no intention of telling him anything. The less Shizuo knew, the better. Izaya stood up and walked him to the door. “The name” he simply said before Satoshi could forget.

 

“Izaya, promise me”

 

Izaya smiled sincerely “I promise”

 

 “Jinnai Yodogiri” And with that, Satoshi left.

 

Izaya smirked darkly and walked over to his computers. “Jinnai Yodogiri hm? Well, let’s see how clever you really are, let’s see if we can bring you out of hiding shall we?” And with that goal in mind, Izaya spent almost the whole day following information and trails of names that would lead him to the right person. He hadn’t been this focused on a job for quite some time, more determined than ever. “You mess with my family; you mess with me” Izaya glared daggers at the screen as his fingers flew across the keyboard angrily. Something Satoshi said had him annoyed too, _implying that I’ve lost my edge, we’ll just see about that._ Izaya sneered at the thought, for some reason, he wanted to prove a point.

 

 

                                          ………………………..

 

Over the next two days, Izaya became immersed in his work, since Mai was at Shizuo’s parents for the weekend, it gave him more time at the office. If Shizuo was annoyed or worried, he didn’t say anything, and if he did, Izaya didn’t notice.

 

Shizuo hadn’t seen him so focused on a job in a long while, he wondered what the hell the informant could be doing. He had thought that the two were going to take the weekend off together, since they hadn’t spent time alone in ages. While they spent the evenings wrapped in one another’s embrace, Izaya spent almost all day and early hours of the evening at his office. He’d questioned him a couple of times, asking if there was anything he could do to help, but Izaya would just tell him that he was merely catching up with job offers.

 

Izaya stretched his arms up, it was almost an hour past the time he’d told Shizuo that he’d be home. Namie looked over at him with a frown. “Go home”

 

Izaya looked over at her with a half grin “Relax. I’m almost done, Shizu-chan can wait a little longer, I did tell him I might be late”

 

“ _Again_ ” Izaya ignored her, wondering why she was so concerned with their relationship all of a sudden. “Isn’t Mai suppose to be coming home today?”

 

“Tomorrow. Sunday evening”

 

Namie sighed and stood up “Izaya. It _is_ Sunday”

 

Izaya stopped typing and looked at her, eyes widened. “What?”

 

“It’s Sunday. I can’t believe you actually lost track of the days; you’ve been so consumed in your work that you didn’t even notice”

 

Izaya bit his lip, he reached for his phone and sure enough, five missed calls, all from Shizuo. “Shit” he whispered under his breath. _I’m surprised he hasn’t come over here_ Izaya sighed and proceeded to save his work and shut down his computer for the evening.

 

Namie rolled her eyes and placed a hand on her hip “Go home, before that impatient partner of yours comes and drags you out”

 

Izaya smirked at the comment “I wouldn’t put it past him” Izaya waited until the computer switched off and pushed away from the desk. the only light in the large workspace was his and Namie’s lamps, shining brightly across the desks. “I’m done for the day. You can go home too”

  
“Finally” Namie walked to the hook by the door to grab her bag.

 

Izaya frowned when a small red dot shimmied across the floor and over where he still sat. He followed it with his eyes until it landed on the blank screen of his computer. “The hell?”

 

Namie turned to him with an annoyed grunt “What now?”

 

Izaya realised within seconds what the red dot was, and he leapt out of the chair. “Shit!” suddenly, the window behind him was punctured, the computer screen cracked and ignited electric sparks, it fizzed and then blew up. Izaya covered his head out of instinct, just encase the shatter of glass reached him. Namie grabbed the fire extinguisher from the wall and ran over to the desk, she pulled the pin and sprayed the desk.  Once she was sure there were no more little flames sprouting, she rushed around the desk and knelt down beside her boss.

 

“Are you all right!?”

 

Izaya turned to her with a nod, “I’m fine, nothing got me” just as Namie was about to help him up, a much larger portion of the window smashed, Izaya pulled her down quickly as a brick flew past where her head was and landed with a thud on the desk. the two blink up, Izaya pushed her up. “Are you hurt?” it was odd, hearing such concern in his voice being directed at her. She nodded and stood up, she held a hand out and pulled him to his feet. Izaya let out a breath and reached for the object that had smashed through his window. “Could he be anymore cliché?” he snorted and picked up the brick, and snapped the band that was holding a piece of paper around it. Namie peered over his shoulder as he read the note. **NEXT TIME IT WILL BE YOU**

 

“Izaya. What the hell is going on?” Namie asked

 

“You don’t need to worry. But I might suggest taking some vacation time. You should distance yourself from me for a while”

 

Namie looked at him in slight shock “What does that mean?”

 

“I can’t explain everything right now. But it has to do with your interference that day you saved my life. He’s only after me, so I don’t want you near me, you could get caught in the crossfire”

 

Namie clenched her fists “What the hell Izaya!?”

 

“Just leave Namie. Don’t ask any more questions”

 

“I have a right to know! why is someone after you!?”

 

“It’s not your business. Just do what I tell you”

 

“This is serious Izaya, if my life is on the line too, I need to know”

 

Izaya gave her a half smirk “And here I thought you were concerned about me”

 

Namie glared at him “I _am_ ”

 

“Right. I’m sure you’re just worried about being paid” a loud slap echoed in his ear, and he turned to see Namie storming out of the office, touching his fingers to his face. Izaya hadn’t meant to upset her, he knew deep down she cared about him. He looked at his slightly burnt desk, with his destroyed computer and the glass scattered about the floor. He was too tired to clear it up now, so he left with a frustrated sigh.

 

                         ………………..

 

By the time Izaya got back home, the apartment was dark, and he instantly felt guilty. He guessed that Shizuo had already put Mai to bed and got fed up of waiting for him. He slipped off his shoes and hung his jacket up, locking the door. He made his way through the living room and started up the stairs. For some reason, his steps felt heavy, almost like he didn’t want to face his partner. Izaya noticed the light coming from their bedroom, he stopped for a moment, unsure whether he had enough energy to deal with whatever Shizuo wanted to say.  

 

Shizuo watched the handle turn on the door and he glared as he lay sat up against the headboard. Izaya came into the room and tried to smile a little, he shut the door and before he could take another step Shizuo started. “Where the hell have you been?”

 

Izaya leaned on the door for a moment. “Sorry. I got distracted”

 

“That’s a pathetic excuse”

 

“It’s true” Izaya hadn’t heard Shizuo’s tone so angry before, they’d had bickers, but the blond had never been so blunt toward him. “I’m sorry”

 

Shizuo swung his legs over the bed with a sigh “Mai was asking where you were”

 

Izaya looked away, she was probably upset that he hadn’t even been home to welcome her back. “I really did get distracted. Ask Namie, I didn’t even know what day it was”

 

Shizuo looked over at him, a slight frown still on his face. “We need to talk”

 

Izaya moved away from the door and sat on the opposite side of the bed as he began to remove his shirt. “Not tonight. I’m too tired to argue with you”

 

Shizuo turned around on the bed, he didn’t expect Izaya to assume there’d be an argument. “Tough”

 

Izaya stopped his movements and turned with a scowl. “What’s the problem?” and he knew those were the wrong words to use, he really was tired, and he couldn’t be bothered to argue.

 

Shizuo stood up, slamming his hands on the bed. “What’s the problem!? Are you fucking serious!?”

 

Izaya stood up then hushing him with a hiss “Quiet. You’ll wake up Mai”

 

“Well at least you remember her name. you didn’t even care enough to be here when she got back”

 

Izaya gritted his teeth “I was busy!”

 

“With what exactly!? Since when has your work been more important than her?”

 

“I told you, I got-”

 

“Yeah. you got distracted, like you have been all weekend. I’ve barely even seen you myself”

 

Izaya became angry. Yes, it had been his fault, yes he was keeping things from Shizuo, but what he was doing was for them, but of course, he didn’t know that. “Two fucking days Shizuo! That’s all its been. It’s not like I’m always working, I’m sure she would understand. As I hoped you would”

 

Shizuo growled and Izaya fisted the covers. “She’s six! She missed you, you could have at least called to say goodnight or something!”

 

“One night! She knows how much I care about her; how much I love her. Maybe it’s you that’s questioning that right now!”

 

Shizuo flew across the bed and grabbed Izaya by the shirt “What the hell is that suppose to mean!?”

 

Izaya shoved him off “It means what it sounds like! what exactly do you want to say Shizuo? I’m all ears”

 

Shizuo gritted his teeth and clenched his fists “You’re becoming too damn secretive, you barely talk to me about anything, and every time I ask what’s wrong you just brush it off like it’s nothing”

 

“You don’t need to know everything that goes on at work!”

 

“I’m not talking about work Izaya! I’m talking about those emails you keep getting! What’s so fucking important that you have to be so discreet about it? Given what’s happened recently, I think I have every right to worry”

 

“It’s nothing for you to worry about! Are you that paranoid that you can’t even trust me?”

 

Shizuo stepped closer to his lover “You haven’t exactly been acting like someone I would trust right now”

 

Izaya clenched his fists “What does that mean?”

 

Shizuo turned away “Nothing” Shizuo wasn’t sure what he meant, he wasn’t intending to argue, he just wanted to talk, but he was pissed about today, it just seemed to have escalated. Shizuo growled and walked away only for his arm to be grabbed, turning him back.

 

“Don’t just say something like that and then say nothing!”

 

“You’re a fine one to talk!”

 

“What do you actually think I’m keeping from you!? do you think I’m messing with people again!? That I’m secretly fucking someone else to get info!?”

 

“I didn’t say that!”

 

“You didn’t have to! You’re not even answering the question, so it’s pretty clear!”

 

“Fuck you Izaya!” Shizuo stormed away, threw open the door and left the room.

 

Izaya stormed toward the doorway and shouted, “Fuck you too!” and then he slammed the door and kicked it, he screamed angrily and pounded his fists against it.

 

 

Unbeknownst to either of them, Mai was crouched against her door, hugging her favourite stuffed black horse tightly to her chest.

 

                        ………………

 

Izaya lifted his head up when the door to his room opened, he glared at first, he didn’t want to see Shizuo right now, and definitely didn’t want him to see. His glare faded instantly when a much smaller person peered around the corner. “Mai…” Izaya’s voice croaked out and he quickly wiped his eyes against his sleeve. He smiled at her. “What are you doing out of bed little human?” Izaya crawled over to her when he noticed her sobbing. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

 

“Iz-nii….” Mai wrapped her arms around him, and he rubbed her back.

 

“Shh…it’s ok, don’t cry, what happened?”

 

Mai spoke through hiccupping sobs. “Heard-you-a-and Daddy…Y-yelling”

 

Izaya closed his eyes and guilt clenched around his heart. “It’s ok. we were just having a disagreement…”

 

“Y-you…were really…angry”

 

“I know, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you” Izaya stood up and held her hand. “Come on. Back to bed” Izaya led her back into her room and she climbed into the covers. Izaya brushed her hair out of her face.

  
“Iz-nii?”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Daddy isn’t going to leave us, is he?”

 

Izaya’s eyes softened and he smiled “No. and neither am I, you’ve got nothing to worry about”

 

“Promise?”

 

Izaya kissed the top of her forehead “I promise” he wiped her tears away with his thumb “Don’t cry Mai”

 

“Love you”

 

Izaya smiled and squeezed her hand gently “I love you too. Go to sleep ok?”

 

“K” Mai snuggled into the cover, clutching her horse.

 

“Mai?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You’re not mad are you? I’m sorry I wasn’t here today, I got carried away at work”

 

Mai smiled at him “Not mad. Just missed you is all”

 

Izaya bit his lip and held his emotions back “Can I make it up to you? maybe take you to the park after school tomorrow?”

 

Mai’s smile brightened “Ok!”

 

Izaya chuckled “All right. But go to sleep, otherwise you won’t wake up for school”

 

Mai giggled and then closed her eyes as Izaya left the room, he closed the door and lay his head against the doorframe. He made his way back into the bedroom, noting Shizuo wasn’t there and figured he’d decided to sleep downstairs. Izaya sighed and undressed, not bothering to redress into any night wear, he slid into the covers on Shizuo’s side and cried to himself silently.

 

…………………………..

 

Izaya woke up the next morning alone, the bed felt cold and his eyes stung as he opened them. He barely got any sleep, the argument he and Shizuo had playing over and over in his head. He sat up groggily and swung his legs over the bed; standing up, he walked into the bathroom and quickly got a shower. Once he was done, he quickly dressed himself and glanced at the clock, it was barely six in the morning. Izaya made his way down the stairs and stopped once he reached the bottom, sure enough, Shizuo was sprawled out on the couch with a thin blanket around his waist. Izaya smiled softly and walked toward the sleeping blond. He reached out to stroke his hair and stopped, reminding himself that they weren’t on good terms right now. He stepped back and turned to walk away, a hand stopped him, and he looked back. Shizuo was looking at him through half lidded eyes, Izaya gave him a little smile. “I didn’t mean to wake you…”

 

Shizuo sat up a little, not letting go of Izaya’s hand. “Time is it?”

 

“Barely six. Go back to sleep..”

 

Shizuo sighed and tugged on his hand. “Come sit with me…”

 

Izaya contemplated on that request, he tried to avoid looking at Shizuo directly, lest he see the redness that covered his eyes. Izaya sat on the edge of the couch, Shizuo shifted over and tried to pull him closer. “Izaya…I-”

 

Izaya shook his head. “S’my fault…I should have been here”

 

Shizuo grasped his hand tightly “There was no need for the things I said last night”

 

“I think there was. I think it was building up. I deserved them”

 

Shizuo huffed in frustration “No. I should not have lost my temper like that”

 

Izaya smiled slightly, still looking at the floor “I said things too. You weren’t the only one”

 

Shizuo knew Izaya was avoiding his gaze, he gently touched Izaya’s chin “Look at me” Izaya turned reluctantly toward him, looking into his auburn eyes. Shizuo felt painfully guilty when he saw the red rims around his lover’s eyes, indicating that Izaya had been crying. With a gentle tug, he pulled the raven close and kissed him. Izaya closed his eyes for a moment, he couldn’t cry anymore, his eyes hurt too much. He lay a hand on Shizuo’s chest and they pulled away. Izaya smiled at him, though it didn’t reach anywhere near the smile Shizuo wanted.

 

“Mai heard us last night” Shizuo’s eyes became wide and then he slumped and looked away. “She came into the bedroom a little while after you left. She was upset, but she’s ok. she just needs reassurance”

 

Shizuo looked back at him “Huh?”

 

“She said that she doesn’t want either of us to leave. I guess she might have thought we were splitting up”

 

Shizuo swiped a hand through his hair. “Shit…., I didn’t mean to cause this mess”

 

Izaya shook his head. “We can talk tonight ok. I’ll be home early, since I promised Mai that I’d take her to the park after school”

 

Shizuo bit back his words, not quite believing that Izaya would be home early today. He nodded instead and reached out to hold the raven’s hand. “Izaya. Let’s…let’s just get away. Forget what happened and move, start a complete fresh….no more dangerous run ins, no more fighting for our safety. Start again”

 

Izaya sighed and removed his hand. “We’ve already talked about this”

 

Shizuo frowned and lay his hands in his lap, nodding. “Right” Shizuo looked at him “Just answer me one thing. Promise me that you’re not in danger, that you’re ok”

 

Izaya looked at him and his heart thudded. “I promise” and he instantly regretted it. Izaya looked away and stood up “I’ll take Mai to school today. It’s your day off. Besides, I have a lot of work to do if I want to be done before three”

 

Shizuo didn’t reply and Izaya rolled his eyes and made his way into the kitchen. He was worried about them; they had never argued like that before. _Am I being too selfish? Should I tell him about what’s going on? He deserves to know…_ Izaya frowned thoughtfully. Shizuo was his partner, his lover, his fucking soulmate. _I shouldn’t be keeping anything from him, he only worries about me, he just wants to protect me, like he always has done._ Izaya knew it was the right thing to do, and for the sake of their relationship, he made up his mind. _I don’t want to hurt him; I’ll tell him tonight._ Izaya smiled, feeling like a weight had already been lifted.

 

 

…………………..

 

Shizuo grumbled as he got up from the couch, muttering about being interrupted from his conversation with his brother. He opened the door and was surprised to find Satoshi standing there. Satoshi held his hand up in greeting. “Hey Shizuo”

 

Shizuo raised an eyebrow suspiciously “Hey. What are you doing here?”

 

Satoshi smiled “I came to see Izaya, is he here?”

 

“You missed him by an hour, he’s gone to his office already”

 

“Damn. Oh, well I’ll catch him there then” Satoshi made to leave but Shizuo stopped him

 

“Oi. Since you’re here, I wanna ask you something. Did you ever find out about who the prick was who got me arrested?”

 

Satoshi paled slightly “Erm…”

 

“What? Did you?” Shizuo gripped the door

 

“Did…did Izaya not tell you?”

 

“What do you mean?” Shizuo frowned

 

“I told him. I said that it was most likely the same one that’s threatening him”

 

Shizuo seemed to sigh in relief “Was” Shizuo corrected “You mean Sato? I guess that would make sense”

 

Satoshi became confused “Sato? No, I mean the one that’s in charge of that large organization I was undercover for”

 

Shizuo stared at him blankly “I’m not following”

 

“The group I was undercover for. I came to you both after you rescued Mai and said that there was someone much more dangerous controlling them?”

 

Shizuo thought for a moment “Oh yeah. I remember now” and then he clocked onto what Satoshi meant “Wait. Are you telling me that you know who it is?”

 

“Yes? I told Izaya Friday morning, didn’t he tell you?”

 

Shizuo narrowed his eyes “No”

 

“Um. Well, I guess it might have slipped his mind, what with the threats from him and all. Not to mention his computer getting blown up by a sniper riffle yesterday evening and-”

 

“What!?”

 

Satoshi’s eyes widened in shock; realisation dawned on him too late. He had sensed he should shut up about four sentences ago, but he didn’t, Satoshi gulped. “H-he, he didn’t tell you about any of it?”

 

Shizuo growled loudly and grabbed Satoshi’s shirt, slamming the door shut. “You’re going to tell me everything. Right. now”

 

 

……………………

 

Izaya frowned at his laptop, extremely annoyed that he had to start over, thanks to that little red dot. He was just lucky they were aiming for the computer this time. Izaya shook the thought from his head. _I’m not scared away so easily Yodogiri, you fucking nutcase._ Izaya grinned slightly at the thought of when he eventually told Shizuo the truth. _You’re going to wish you had never messed with either of us_

 

Izaya jumped when his office door almost come off it’s hinges as it was slammed open. the informant stood up and immediately went for his switchblade, before sighing when he saw Shizuo. “You scared the crap out of me. I almost threw my knife at you, idiot” when Izaya saw the anger on Shizuo’s face, he grew concerned. “Shizu-chan?”

 

“So you can trust Satoshi with everything and not me!!?”

 

Izaya walked around his desk “What are you talking about?”

 

“He came to see you and was very unaware that I was somehow clueless as to what’s been going on!”

 

Izaya blinked in shock “W-what?”

 

“I asked him if he knew anything about who got me arrested. And what a surprise, he had no idea that I didn’t know. because apparently, according to you, that was obviously not important enough to tell me!!”  


Izaya didn’t know what to say, why the hell didn’t Satoshi come here first? “Shizu-chan…”

 

“I’m not done yet! He happen to know the one behind everything too, and what a shock to know that you knew! Since fucking Friday!” Izaya frowned and tried to speak, but Shizuo wasn’t having any of it. Shizuo laughed sarcastically “Oh. It gets better. Turns out, that you’ve been receiving a lot of threatening emails, that wasn’t even from Sato! And you’ve been keeping that from me! How could you keep that from me Izaya!? What the hell is wrong with you!?”

 

Izaya stepped forward “Because I knew how much you’d worry!”

 

“Of course I was going to worry! But you can’t just keep something like that from me! I’m suppose to be your partner! I didn’t think you would be selfish enough to keep me in the dark about everything. Especially when some of it concerns me directly! Do you have any idea how sick I felt, when I was arrested and accused of physically abusing you!?”

 

Izaya stilled, he hadn’t even asked Shizuo how he was felt after that, it didn’t even cross his mind. _What’s wrong with me?_ But then his mind flashed back to what Shizuo had said a moment ago, he glared. “I didn’t want to tell you because I was protecting you! how is that in any way selfish!? The less you knew, the better!”

 

Shizuo growled, fists clenched. “I’ve heard that before”

 

“That was completely different!”

 

“It’s the same thing Izaya! You didn’t trust me enough to help you then and you _still_ don’t trust me now! Nine fucking years later!”

 

“Don’t you stand there and talk to me about trust! You’ve never fully trusted me, have you? there’s l always been a nagging doubt deep down”

 

“That’s ridiculous!”

 

“Is it!?” Izaya pulled his ring off and threw it at Shizuo in anger, the ring bounced off his chest and clinked lightly across the floor. “What the hell do you think that symbolises!? Because if you can’t trust me by now, then what the hell is the point!? When we put those rings on, and signed that document, we made a commitment for life!”

 

“Exactly! What kind of commitment allows for those kinds of secrets Izaya!? And while we’re on the subject of commitment, we also agreed that we had a future together!”

 

“What the hell is that suppose to mean!?”

 

“According to you, we don’t have one!”

 

Izaya stormed up to him and grabbed his shirt “What the hell gave you that idea!?”

 

“Don’t act innocent. You and I both know that the only reason you won’t take the next step is because you don’t want to quit being an informant!”

 

Izaya shoved him and practically screamed in frustration. “We’re not having this conversation again! Although correct me if I’m wrong here, but it sounds like you’re indicating that I haven’t changed my life at all for you! so what next step are you talking about right now!? living together? Getting engaged? Becoming civil partners? Having a fucking child!?” Izaya shoved him again, harder. “Well here’s a fucking news flash for you, all me!!” another jab. “So instead of accusing me of having never changed anything, count how many things you’ve changed!” Shizuo clenched his fists, he was getting angrier with each word, each jab “I changed my whole life for you! you wouldn’t have stayed with me for this long if I didn’t”

 

“Shut up Izaya! That’s not true and you know it!”

 

“Yeah right!”

 

“I never asked you to change!”

 

Izaya laughed “No. of course you didn’t! you want to know the only thing you changed for me!? Despite knowing how much I gave back in return?”

 

Shizuo glared, his breathing begun to get heavier. “Shut up Izaya” he gritted out.

 

“The only thing you changed was that you stopped hating me!” and Shizuo snapped, he growled in anger, seeing nothing but blind rage. He pulled back his fist and Izaya hit the back wall with a hard thud. Shizuo breathed deeply, and slowly but surely, the anger left him, and his eyes focused once more. Izaya winced and touched his lips, blood came into view on his fingers. He looked up into Shizuo’s horrified and shameful eyes, staring back with an equal amount of shock. Izaya stood up slowly and stumbled toward him. “Shizu-chan….it’s ok”

 

“Don’t!” Izaya stopped “Don’t come near me!”  


Izaya’s eyes were wide and he didn’t dare move any closer. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

 

Shizuo glared “I think you meant every word. But…” Shizuo looked away from him then “I can’t….I can’t believe I…”

 

Izaya frowned, no way was Shizuo running away from this “Shizuo. I pushed you too far”

 

Shizuo stepped back “That’s not an excuse! That’s never an excuse!”

 

“I deserved it! I should never have said that…”

 

“You don’t get it do you!? I’ve tried, so fucking hard, to be the kind of man you deserved. I thought, finally, my physical temper was completely under my control, I even thought it had gone forever….”

 

Izaya’s anger left him as he realised then, realised what Shizuo had done for him. _He physically took control of himself_  “Shizu-chan….Let’s, let’s just talk about this later…ok?” Izaya swallowed the lump in his throat as he choked back a sob.

 

Shizuo stepped back and looked away, hiding his own tearful eyes. “I don’t- I don’t think there’s much left to talk about…” and he left the office before Izaya saw his hurtful expression.

 

Izaya simply collapsed to his knees, he let out a scream of anguish and punched the floor. “Damn it!”

 

……………………

 

Three hours later, giving himself and Shizuo enough time to calm down and get some head space. Izaya made his way into their apartment and up the stairs to their room, he reached the doorway and froze. “Shizu-chan…? What are you doing?” Shizuo didn’t answer and Izaya watched him pace back and forth from the bed to the wardrobe, to the draws and back to the bed. On the bed, was a sealed box and an open suitcase. “Y-you can’t be serious?” Shizuo tried to ignore him, he was still angry over everything, but the forefront of his anger, was at himself. “You- can’t just up and fucking leave!” Izaya stormed up to the bed and slammed his hand down on the lid of the suitcase, causing it to shut abruptly. “Let’s talk about this properly!”

 

“I’ve tried! I’ve tried talking to you! I’m done trying to get through to you! I can’t deal with your walls anymore Izaya!”

 

Izaya frowned and bit his lip, he winced at the raised skin and bruise. “I-it’s not just about…you hitting me, is it?”

 

Shizuo huffed a small laugh. “You might think so…., but it’s not”

 

“Shizuo….please…I was going to tell you everything tonight, I made up my mind, that I didn’t want to keep anything from you anymore…I wanted to tell you…. that I-”

 

Shizuo removed Izaya’s hand gently from the suitcase. “Just don’t” Shizuo shoved the rest of his clothes into the case and buckled it, grabbing it by the handle and then the box with his other arm. Shizuo looked at him through tearful eyes.

  
A few tears slipped from Izaya’s and he gripped Shizuo’s arm. “Please don’t leave….Shizuo, Mai…”

 

“I’m not going to stop seeing her. I just-”

 

Izaya let go of his arm. “You just don’t-” he looked away “Love me anymore”

 

Shizuo frowned and sighed lightly. “I will always love you Izaya. But this- I can’t forgive you. You want to know what the worst part is? Despite..” Shizuo turned away “Despite me attacking you. The worst part is that I asked you, I asked you if you were in any danger, that maybe the reason for your behaviour was that you were in trouble. You’d have thought that should have given you the biggest window of opportunity possible. But you fucking lied to me! You swore you weren’t in danger, that you weren’t in trouble! For fucksake Izaya, I would have done anything to keep you safe! I would not have been angry; we could have worked on it together! If you had told me that was the reason why you didn’t want to move away, you don’t think I would have understood!?”

 

“I was going to tell you!”

 

“After you already swore to me! Either way, you still lied! And I had to find out from that damn cop!”

 

“I was- I was trying to protect you…”

 

“You were hiding. Like you always do, and that’s why I can’t do this anymore”

Izaya tensed, his heart beat painfully against his chest, this couldn’t be the end. But the utter hurt coming from Shizuo told him differently. “I love you…” Shizuo choked back sobs, he kissed Izaya’s forehead and then walked away, every step more painful then the last. “Take Mai with you” Izaya said lastly.

 

Shizuo stilled and turned back “What?”

 

Izaya clenched his fists. “Mai should go with you… I-It’s better that way…she’ll be safer with you” Izaya looked up at him, smiling despite his tear stained face. “She’s a Heiwajima after all”

 

Shizuo didn’t know how to reply to that. “Izaya…no, this is her home, I can’t-”

 

“It’s ok. I’ll pick her up today like I promised. I can’t break two promises in one day. I’ll explain everything”

 

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea”

 

“It’s for the best. He’s only after me, and besides, if he ever gets to me-”

 

“Don’t say something like that” Shizuo gritted out

 

Izaya chuckled, though his voice was cracking “We’re separating aren’t we? So the only one you need to worry about now, is Mai…”

 

Shizuo shook his head “I still fucking care about you!”

 

Izaya smiled a little and pushed Shizuo toward the door. “Go. I’ll be all right” Izaya quickly shut the door and after hearing the blond’s footsteps shift and sound into the distance, the raven slid against the wall. He curled himself and hugged his knees tightly, tears streaming down his face.

 

Shizuo stepped out of the apartment building, looking up at the sky, he had never felt so much pain before. He collapsed to his knees, dropping his items, not caring who was watching him.

 

………………..

 

Izaya smiled as he watched Mai run all over the place in the park. He had picked her up, just like he said he would, and took her to the park. She was climbing on everything; she was so happy. Izaya forced himself not to start getting emotional again. He couldn’t afford to, not in front of Mai. “Iz-nii?” Izaya blinked, when had she come over? Izaya stared down at her and smiled.

  
“Why do you look sad?”

 

Izaya stroked her hair “Why do you think I’m sad?”

 

Mai sat beside him and lay her head on his arm. “Cause”

 

Izaya closed his eyes for a second and let out a shaky breath. “Mai…I’ve got to tell you something. But…please don’t think I don’t love you, because I love you more then anything. Daddy does too”

 

Mai looked at him, worry adorning her small features. “Iz-nii?”

 

“Mai….I know I promised….but- it’s my fault. I screwed up. Me and daddy, we’re separating…”

 

Mai’s eyes watered and she clutched his arm “No! you can’t!”

 

Izaya’s heart broke then. Hearing his daughter’s plea was the last straw for him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Mai…I screwed up” Izaya hunched over and placed his head in his hands. “I screwed everything up. I couldn’t give you the life you deserved….I tried, but I just- I messed it up”

 

“I’m sure if you apologise to daddy-”

 

Izaya shook his head. “No Mai. There’s just too much to fix…it’s not…fixable. Please don’t hate me Mai…I’m so sorry”

 

Mai stood up on the bench and wrapped her small arms around his neck, he turned around and hugged her tightly. “Don’t hate you….love you”

 

Izaya huffed a laugh through his tears, damn it, he was crying again. “I love you too. So much, I’m so proud of you” he pulled away and wiped her face with his sleeve. “I’ll come see you as much as I can. You can come stay with me every other weekend, ok?”

 

Mai became scared and clutched his shirt. “You mean…I’m not gonna live with you anymore?”

 

Izaya pulled her close and onto his lap. “It really is for the best. You go live with daddy ok? he can give you a lot more then I can”

 

“I don’t wanna live somewhere else!” Mai cried into his jacket

 

Izaya swallowed the lump in his throat. “Shhh. It’ll be ok, you’ll see”

 

…………………………

 

Shizuo carried a small suitcase as he stood at the door of the apartment that he and Izaya had shared for almost eight years. He watched with heartache as Izaya was crouched with Mai. “Be good ok? do you have everything you want to take with you?” Mai nodded slowly. “Ok. Now, give me a big hug” Mai threw herself at him and Izaya held her close. “I love you so much, you’ll always be my little human, my little girl”

 

Mai hugged him tighter, sobbing loudly. “Love you too” and then she whispered. “Daddy”

 

Izaya’s breath almost hitched and he rubbed her back and pulled away, tears evident in his eyes. “Ok. now. you better get going before it rains” Izaya smiled and she took Shizuo’s hand once the raven stood up. Izaya looked at Shizuo with a small smile. “Goodbye….Shizu-chan”

 

Shizuo blinked back his own tears “Izaya-”

 

“Don’t. let’s just leave it at that, ok?”

 

Shizuo nodded slowly. “Yeah. um, we’ll be at my parent’s for a while”

 

Izaya nodded “All right” Izaya smiled down at Mai “I’ll come see you soon”

 

“K…”

 

“Izaya?” Izaya looked up at him “Take care of yourself. I- I will always….I’ll always come for you, if you need me”

 

Izaya gave him a slight smile “Yeah…”

 

Shizuo let out a shaky breath and decided he needed to leave now before he broke down. “Goodbye….Izaya”

 

Izaya clutched the door handle from the inside. “Bye….” And Izaya watched the two people that mattered the most to him walk away, almost out of his life, in a sense. “Shizu-chan…” he shut the door slowly.

 

 

……………………….

 

Namie walked into Izaya’s office, frowning at the lack of lighting, the blinds were closed, and she could just spot Izaya sitting on the small couch. “Look. I know you said to stay away from here for a while, but I’m extremely bored, and you know I can take care of myself and-” Namie noted the lack of movement from her annoying boss and walked around to face him. “What’s with you? and why are you sitting here in the dark?”

 

“Just leave”

 

Namie snorted and placed her hand on her hip. “Like hell. what is going on?”

 

Izaya sighed, he knew she wouldn’t leave until he told her, he rested his chin on his propped knee, and Namie could see the redness in his eyes. “Shizu-chan and I….we- we split up”

 

Namie’s eyes widened “W-what?”

 

Izaya huffed a laugh “God. Even saying it out loud sounds like a cruel joke…” he leaned back against the couch.

 

“I don’t….I don’t know what to say, how? Why?”

 

Izaya looked at her and tried to smirk, but he couldn’t even pull that off. “Aren’t you going to laugh at me? Tease me?”

 

Namie remained passive, but she sat on the couch and without saying a word, she pulled him into a hug. Izaya blinked in shock for a moment, and then his hand came to wrap around her as she held him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry! 
> 
> Don't hate me!
> 
> I totally cried while I wrote this!


	8. Mistakes

He didn’t know what had woken him up; the foul taste in his mouth, the nauseating feeling rolling in his stomach, or the constant pounding of his head. Izaya’s eyes fluttered open and he groaned instantly when the sunlight peeking in from the drapes across from him shone in his eyes. He immediately shut them and tried to sit up, realising he was entrapped in a tangled sheet. Izaya shifted his legs to kick out at the offending item that was trapping his body, only to become fully aware that he was naked. Izaya raised a hand over his eyes, god his fucking head hurt, why did he feel like shit? He rolled over to his side and winced when his hand brushed against several glass bottles that then thudded to the floor. Izaya groaned again at the noise, why was everything so loud? Better yet, why was he fucking naked? He sat himself up, making sure half the sheet he had been in covered his waist, lest he feel less exposed. He managed to open his eyes again, and stared around the room, there were empty bottles everywhere. Izaya frowned at the mess, seeing knocked over lamps that had smashed to the floor. He had a bad feeling about this. He glanced around and spotted his black trousers within reach, he grabbed them and placed them on quickly. At least he wasn’t completely naked anymore. He stood up, ignoring the dizziness he felt, and then that’s when he realised another important factor; this wasn’t his apartment, but he’d already guessed that right away, no, that’s not what he was worried about, this wasn’t even _an_ apartment. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say this was a motel room.

 

Izaya shuffled over to the mirror that was cracked down one side and grimaced. He stared at himself in the mirror, leaning forward, palms flat on the surface of the vanity. “Shit…” his voice was hoarse, and his throat felt like sandpaper. He ran his fingertips over his right shoulder, where at least two bite marks were splayed on his skin. Izaya inspected himself further as he ran his hands over his chest and stared at red long scratches running down to his abdomen. He turned slightly and picked up on the light bruising on his lower back, along with more red scratches. “I look like I’ve been mauled by a bear…” he muttered to himself. He honestly couldn’t remember a thing about what had happened, what the hell had he done last night? He tilted his head up and frowned at the purple and red marks down one side of his neck. “The fuck…?” he had to sit down, his head was still pounding and all he wanted to do was throw up, he backed up and his foot touched another empty bottle before finding the edge of the bed.

 

The sudden movement on the bed startled him, he felt the covers shift and he glanced up into the mirror. A tuft of blond hair poked out of the cover, and for a split second he thought Shizuo was going to greet him with that husky voice of his. Then he remembered with tremendous heart ache that they were no longer a couple, and that the person behind him in the bed was certainly not his former partner. Izaya’s eyes widened, and he was suddenly overcome with flashes of memories from the previous night. _Shit_

##########

 

Within a week, almost everyone had heard about Izaya and Shizuo’s breakup, no one could fathom out what had happened. Neither one of them wanted to talk about it, and their friends certainly tried. Celty couldn’t understand, they had been so happy, what went wrong?

 

To those around them, it had certainly been sudden, almost out of the blue. To Izaya and Shizuo, it had been expected, in a way, what with how often they had started to bicker, until that weekend….

 

 The two anger filled emotional arguments that ended their relationship, that broke them apart. Shinra seemed to take it rather well, Izaya had this sneaky suspicion that the man thought they’d ‘get over it’ because neither one was talking to anyone about what had happened, he suspected that was the case with most of their friends. He imagined they thought it was just an overreacted argument, that they’d sort it out at some point.

 

Izaya knew better, they couldn’t know the full extent of their arguments, how hurtful they were, on both sides. He never imagined Shizuo could hurt him so much, and the worst part, was he felt even more pain because of words he’d screamed at Shizuo.

 

How had everything fallen apart so fast right before his eyes? He felt so pathetic, he blamed himself, that he didn’t notice something was wrong until Shizuo was practically screaming it in his face. Why had he kept it all from him? Why hadn’t he realised sooner? That he wanted to tell him, that he could trust him? Of course he could trust him! Izaya could trust him with his fucking life! But now….

 

It was over

 

They were over

 

Shizuo wasn’t coming back to him, and it hit Izaya like a brick, it hurt, so much….

 

That expression on his face, the utter horror etched across it, when Shizuo hit him that day. Izaya knew even then that it most likely wasn’t going to end well for them, but he tried, god he had tried, so hard to fight for him. But he had outright lied, so many times, even after all this time, Izaya was still hiding from him; and he suspected that was what had hurt Shizuo the most. The raven didn’t care about the fact that Shizuo had struck him, because he had deserved it, that wasn’t what hurt him so much…. It was the sheer pain and anger that was in his eyes when he said those words.

 

_“It’s the same thing Izaya! You didn’t trust me enough to help you then and you still don’t trust me now! Nine fucking years later!”_

 

_“You were hiding. Like you always do, and that’s why I can’t do this anymore”_

 

A week ago, Izaya woke up for the first time in years, alone….

 

He moved onto his back, glancing over to see the empty side of the bed where Shizuo used to sleep. His eyes stung, not quite sure when he had eventually fell asleep, he had never cried so much in his life. After Namie had hugged him tightly on the couch of his office, she sent him home, and he didn’t even protest. It was the first time she had openly displayed any kindness toward him, not even she expected this outcome.

 

Truth was, he didn’t actually want to come home, home to an empty apartment. Shizuo had left him. There was barely a sign he had even been here, the blond didn’t have a lot of personal things to begin with, so it had been relatively easy to pack his things. It struck him more when he had come home, and he wasn’t instantly greeted by the giggles and small voice of his daughter. Izaya had told Shizuo to take her with him, and he felt his heart shatter as he looked into the bedroom where his little girl slept.

 

Izaya sat in that room for at least two hours, feeling utterly distraught. “I’m sorry… Its all my fault….I let you down” he had said to the empty room. While it was true that he’d see Mai every other weekend, but that wasn’t the same was it? he had broken their family and taken his daughter’s only home that she had known away from her. Izaya was numb, he couldn’t feel anything.

 

He sat up on their bed, no, on _his_ bed. He needed to not think for a while. Not about his feelings. He had a job to do after all, and while Izaya couldn’t ignore the pain in his heart completely, he wasn’t going to stay in this apartment and wallow in self-pity. If he didn’t work, he would just keep thinking about it all, and his eyes were burning from so many tears.

 

The informant frowned, just because he and Shizuo weren’t together anymore, that didn’t mean he would stop trying to find that bastard, the one that ruined their lives. They were still in danger, regardless of them not being a couple anymore, Shizuo and Mai were still in danger; and Izaya couldn’t afford to let himself slip. If he lost himself in self-loathing, he’d never find the one responsible. _Jinnai Yodogiri, I will find you, and I will make you pay_

 

 

Shizuo sat up in his bed, out of habit, he moved his arm over to hug Izaya. He sighed, only realising then that the raven haired male wasn’t there anymore. He let his arm hang off the single mattress he was on, it was a little hard to believe that a mere three days ago, he woke up next to Izaya; never knowing that it would be for the last time, because once the arguments started, Shizuo had slept on the couch. His mind wrapped around his painful thoughts, so many words, so much yelling and….. Shizuo looked at his hand, he still had his ring on, he couldn’t bring himself to remove that yet. Too soon. They’d only broken up yesterday.

 

By the time he made his way down the stairs, he knew everyone else in the household was awake too. His mother smiled at him, and he couldn’t help but feel his heart clench at that smile, it was a smile sure, but it was filled with sadness.

 

That’s right, he was staying with his parents for a while, until he could find a place for him and Mai to live. Shizuo could barely return the smile, and he couldn’t even muster a reply when she asked. “How are you feeling sweetheart?” Shizuo frowned as he sat down at the table next to his daughter. How was he feeling? What kind of question was that? his heart felt like it had been ripped out. He glanced over at Mai, she looked so distressed, she wasn’t even eating her favourite cereal. He watched her stare at it, twirling the curls with her spoon. Had he done the right thing? He really had no idea, now that he had a chance to calm down, he wondered whether he might have- Shizuo clenched his fists under the table, no, this time he hadn’t overreacted. Izaya had hid all that from him! How could he? Was he that worried about what his reaction would be?

 

He thought Izaya trusted him, so much so that he’d have done anything to keep him safe. yes, he did want the raven to quit his job, but if there was all this shit going on, he wouldn’t have said that, he would be there for him. Anytime Izaya found himself in some trouble because he’d pissed someone off or got in too deep, Shizuo would be there regardless. It hurt to not be relied upon, especially by the same person he’d spend so many years with, Shizuo always thought izaya would come to him for help.

 

Izaya wouldn’t quit his job

Izaya lied to him

 

He hid things from him

 

Shizuo had to find it all out from Satoshi, that made him angry, but what made him angrier, was he suspected Izaya was never going to tell him. Shizuo would be kept in the dark while Izaya worked to solve it all behind his back.

 

_‘I was going to tell you!’_

 

Shizuo snorted, the only reason he knew Izaya said that was because he’d found out. But….he couldn’t get that desperate hurtful expression that the raven had given him when he walked out of their bedroom after packing up his stuff. He replayed those arguments over in his head all night, never had they spat such painful words at one another before; at least, not while they had been together. It hurt to think that Izaya was right on some level, it was clearer now, his lover had changed so much for him, and Shizuo hadn’t even asked him too! All the changes in their lives, had happened because Izaya had insinuated them first. The only big change Shizuo had done was kiss him that very first time, and of course, it was him that also sought out a real relationship. But anyone who had seriously known him back then, that was a major change for him!

 

Shizuo sighed, it didn’t matter how he looked at it though, Izaya wouldn’t see anyway.

 

_‘The only change you made was that you didn’t hate me anymore!’_

When he said it like that, it sounded like Izaya didn’t think he even loved him! That’s what struck him, that’s what made him angry, that the thought even crossed Izaya’s mind. Shizuo looked at his fist, that’s when he….. he clenched his eyes shut, utter shame wracked his body, that he allowed himself to lose control of his anger and… _I hit him, I fucking hit him_ Shizuo couldn’t bear the thought of how shocked Izaya looked after the blow he dealt him. Surprisingly though, no fear crossed his features, because his next words were

 

_‘Shizuo, I pushed you too far’_

_‘I deserved it; I should never have said that’_

That made him angrier, as though Izaya thought that was a valid reason! Did he even think about how it made him feel? He had been accused and arrested for domestic abuse, and he got pardoned because that just wasn’t true, ever! Only for that to come and bite him in the ass, because he fucking hit him!

 

_‘Mai should go with you… I-It’s better that way…she’ll be safer with you’_

Shizuo wasn’t so sure about that. but Izaya had a good point, if those bastards that tried to hurt Izaya at his office came around, then Mai would be prone to danger.

 

Shizuo ruffled his daughter’s hair a little, it was coming just past her chin now, but for some reason, she liked it shorter than most girls her age. “Wanna get ready for school Mai?”

 

Mai nodded a little and slid off the chair with a quiet “K” and Shizuo watched her walk out of the kitchen. He sighed sadly; she was obviously heartbroken by their breakup.

 

“She’ll be ok” his mother spoke again, he forgot she was even still there, and what had been her question before again? Shizuo almost rolled his eyes, oh yeah, she asked him how he was feeling. Yeah. just fucking peachy. He calmed himself, it wasn’t their fault, and he wasn’t going to sit here and bad mouth Izaya either, because it wouldn’t be fair on Mai or his former partner. Shizuo’s parents shouldn’t be made to hate him just because of a bad breakup, he didn’t want that, he didn’t want things to be more awkward for either of them, especially when Izaya came to pick up Mai on his visits. No. Shizuo wanted them to stay on good terms with Izaya, because he knew they loved him like a son. “A lot of kids go through this at the age Mai is now. parent’s getting divorced is not uncommon. She’ll be sad for a while, but you both love her, and she knows that”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened. Divorced? Was that a thing? They were in a civil partnership, could they even get divorced? And…. Even if there was such a thing, Shizuo felt that was a big jump too soon. He didn’t know why. They were split up right? but….cutting that binding contract, seemed _too_ real. He didn’t want to explore that last step just yet. Despite the fact Izaya had thrown his ring at him already, but it wasn’t in the context of “divorce” it was more along the lines to emphasise whatever point he wanted to make. “Yeah…” he simply replied.

 

Namiko sat down across from him, her hands linking together. “Unless…., if you think there’s a chance you might, get back together? That maybe you need some space for a while?”

 

Shizuo honestly couldn’t answer that. he didn’t want to end the partnership, yet he didn’t feel right going back to him either. He was still angry. But it was early days, barely even one day! Maybe he’d feel different after a week or so. Just what the hell was their friends going to say when everyone found out?

 

“Yeah…” it was the best reply he could muster, and it hardly sounded convincing.

 

A week later

 

Not once had he seen Izaya around the city, but he knew that the man was ok at least, since he called almost every night, if only to say goodnight to Mai and to speak with her before she went to bed. So it became obvious very quickly that Izaya was avoiding him, and Shizuo honestly didn’t blame him for that, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less.

 

Yes, their friends had all but found out by now. each of them surprised by the sudden notion, but it wasn’t so sudden to Shizuo, he felt like things were going wrong for a while now, probably even before even Izaya had.

 

Erika practically cried in front of him the day he bumped into Kadota and his friends. They knew something was wrong, probably by the way Shizuo had been in a depressive slump lately. He told them. Not all that surprised that they didn’t know yet, Izaya obviously hadn’t told anyone, since not even Shinra and Celty knew. Then again, Izaya never really was the confide in people type, and that was one of the reasons for their breakup in the first place, wasn’t it? Izaya and his damn walls!

 

Erika. She kept spouting things about how they’d make up and share a passionate filled night together, how something would make them see. Shizuo honestly couldn’t listen anymore, because he just couldn’t see that happening. Had they not realised that it was Shizuo to make the decision to split? He was willing to bet that they figured it was Izaya to end it. He found himself smiling a little then, heh, no one really knew Izaya like he did.

 

 

Izaya cursed under his breath, he wasn’t getting as close to finding Jinnai as he had hoped. He had done nothing but search for him for the past week! Satoshi had been right about one thing, the man was extremely hard to track, and for a well-qualified informant such as himself, that was saying something. Izaya had to give the man credit at least, he knew when to back off when the times were right. Izaya hadn’t seen a trace of him since the incident at his office, when that sniper blew up his computer and the brick smashed his window. However, that meant he had been on the right track then, so if something, or rather, someone, threatened or attacked him, at least then Izaya would know he was going in the right direction. He chuckled then, because only someone like him would take being attacked as a good thing. “So nice of him to give me a sign that I’m on the right track” he said with a little teasing to his voice.

 

What annoyed Izaya the most, was that he had to start again anyway since his information was stored on that computer. Normally the raven backed everything onto a usb, and he would have to, once he’d finished, but he didn’t get that chance.

 

Something still didn’t add up, now that he thought about it more carefully. If they wanted to get Shizuo done for his murder, why go to the trouble of getting Shizuo arrested before they actually attacked him? And in his own apartment. He understood the idea of abuse, to plant that in the police’s head’s beforehand, but getting him bailed and then right after report the murder…. It seemed all too rushed. Like how could Shizuo get bailed and then kill a person right away?

 

Izaya shuddered though, he had to admit, Sato’s disguise was good, he almost believed it. He hated to think what might have happened if Mai hadn’t noticed right away. Izaya shook his head, that didn’t matter now, that was over. Sato was dead anyway. But the fact was that Sato didn’t initially know about Shizuo being arrested, almost as if that wasn’t part of their plan, just a bit convenient. It would make sense why they might have bailed him out, maybe they were hoping they could still go through with their plan to get Shizuo done for murder.

 

If that was the case, then who the hell was responsible for the accusation in the first place?  Izaya sighed, that wasn’t important anymore, his first objective was finding Jinnai and putting a stop to whatever it was he was planning. Jinnai had left Shizuo and Mai alone since then, and Izaya was going to make sure it stayed that way. The raven wasn’t stupid, he knew Jinnai was capable of threatening him in other ways other then harm to himself. He had to make sure he covered his tracks enough, he had to be cautious. Izaya didn’t care what Jinnai threw at him or how he might try to kill him, he cared what might happen if he angered the man too much. Shizuo could take care of himself, he need not worry about the blond. But he knew first-hand how vulnerable Shizuo could be if someone he loved was held hostage in front of him. Izaya couldn’t imagine if someone got to Mai, the same way Sato had done with him.

 

Izaya stretched his arms up as he stood up from his swivel chair. He was tired. He hadn’t slept more then a few hours a night since he and Shizuo broke up. Who knew that it would have such an affect on him, scratch that, it wasn’t all that surprising was it? even to Izaya. After all, he loved that damn idiot, so fucking much. He didn’t want to go home. He hated sleeping there alone, in that bed, the bed he and Shizuo had shared. Izaya had spent the last two nights sleeping at his office, just so he didn’t have to face the truth every time he went home. Truth hurts. And it really did.

 

Couldn’t he just have one day, one day without feeling like this? Izaya thought that if he immersed himself in his work, he’d be able to ignore all the emotional pain he was feeling. At first it worked, during the day he was fine, but….the nights were the worst, because his thoughts drifted to Shizuo when he didn’t have anything else to think about. He tried to work through the night on a couple of days, but he couldn’t afford to keep exhausting himself to the point he’d just fall asleep on his desk. he’d done that once. And he hadn’t even heard Namie come in the next day until she was right beside him and nudged him. How easy it could have been for someone to off him then, and to say he was angry with himself was an understatement. He never done it again. But that didn’t mean he had slept much more either.

 

Next weekend was his time with Mai, and he’d be damned if he missed that because he was too exhausted. Izaya looked over at the clock, it was only 3.30pm, Mai would have finished her school by now, she’d be calling soon. He’d wait for her call and then leave early today.  

 

Izaya looked up when there was a knock at his door, he didn’t want to deal with anymore clients today. He would just tell whoever it was to go away, and if their request was interesting enough, tell them to come back tomorrow. Izaya opened the door and was immediately embraced by small arms at his waist. “Mai!?” what the- how the hell did she get here? he looked into the hall, no sign of anyone bringing her over. He pried her arms away and knelt down in front of her. “Mai. How did you get here?” Mai was sobbing and he couldn’t quite understand her. Izaya lead her inside and shut the door, he picked her up and brought her over to the couch. “What happened Mai?”

 

Mai buried herself against his chest. “Missed you…”

 

Izaya closed his eyes. Was that it? then a thought popped into his head and he forced her to look at him. “Mai. Does Daddy know you’re here?”

 

The shaking of her head confirmed what he already suspected. Great. “Wanna come home…”

 

Izaya’s heart clenched, he sighed and wrapped his arms around her. “It’s ok Mai. You’re a lot safer with Daddy. Didn’t I say I’d see you every other weekend?”

 

Mai nodded but continued to sob “Not the same…”

 

“I know. it’s ok to be sad. But we talk every evening don’t we?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

Izaya smiled and moved her to look at him again. He wiped her tears away with his sleeve. “I’ll be coming to get you soon, we can spend the whole weekend together, can’t we?”

Mai looked down, clenching her little fists. “But…but…I want you and Daddy together again…why don’t you love him anymore…”

 

Izaya bit back his tears. He rubbed Mai’s arms. “I do…there are just some things you’re too young to understand”

 

“Did I do something wrong? Was it me? Was I bad? Is it because I played with your knife that time?”

 

Izaya groaned in dismay. He’d forgotten about that. something else he hadn’t told Shizuo about. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ “Mai don’t ever think that. none of this is your fault ok? we just….we’re-” Izaya didn’t know what to tell her. The reasons for their breakup, because he’d hidden dangerous secrets from Shizuo, because Mai came from a dark past. How do you tell a six year old something like that? her mother was murdered by a smuggler! He had lied to her too, hadn’t he? Izaya calmed himself. No. that was different, even Shizuo knew that, they’d both done that to shield her. “Nothing is your fault” he repeated. “I promise you Mai, that we love you so much, and you’ll be all right. this will get easier for you”

 

Mai sniffled and lay her head on his chest again; he then wrapped his arms around her. “Promise?”

 

Izaya hesitated. Because he’d broken a lot of his promises lately. But this one, he was sure of. “I promise” he tried to laugh. “Now. let’s get you back to Miko and Koko’s. before daddy panics and starts searching for you”

 

“He’s gonna be mad…” Izaya smiled and stood up with her as he set her down on the floor.

 

“He won’t. he’ll just be glad you’re safe” Izaya’s phone then started to ring. He moved over to his desk and sure enough, Shizuo’s name started to flash up on his screen, there was a picture of them along with it. _I should really change that_ because it hurt to see it. taking a deep breath he answered, getting straight to the point before Shizuo started yelling down the phone. “Mai is fine” he said.

 

At first, Shizuo was silent. And then- “What!?”

 

Izaya leant against his desk. “She’s with me” he said

 

“The hell Izaya!? You can’t just take her and not say a god damn thing!”

 

Izaya frowned, clenching the phone in his hand, seriously? “I didn’t”

 

“What do you mean you didn’t!? so she just left on her own? Is that what you’re trying to tell me!?”

 

Izaya gritted his teeth, Shizuo underestimated their daughter sometimes. Sure, Mai was only six. But her school wasn’t all that far from his office, it would be a short walk for even someone of Mai’s age. He was kind of angry at the school too, for just letting her go without getting confirmation that someone was there to get her. He glanced at his daughter. The girl looked really worried, she knew she was in trouble; and he didn’t want any of Shizuo’s anger directed at her, even if it was because he was worried. Izaya knew he’d have probably yelled at her too, telling her how dangerous it was to leave like that without telling anyone, no, it was dangerous to leave on her own, period. When Mai had shown up here, so upset, just because she missed him, he didn’t have the heart to yell at her. Fuck it. Shizuo was pissed at him anyway, what did it matter? “Actually. You’re right. I did take Mai for a little while. I came by to get her after school”

 

Izaya winced as Shizuo bellowed down the phone at him “Are you fucking kidding me!? Do you have any idea how worried I was!? I almost threw a desk at the receptionist at the school, only now I find out that it was _your_ fault!”

 

Izaya gripped the desk behind him. Well. Shizuo certainly didn’t have a hard time believing it did he? _Does he seriously believe I could be that irresponsible?_ Whatever, he wanted Shizuo to believe it anyway didn’t he? “I just wanted to see her for a few hours. She was very happy about it actually”

 

“I don’t care if you want to see her Izaya! That’s fine, that’s not the issue. The fact that you knew I’d be fucking worried out of my mind, yet you didn’t even take two seconds to even send a text!”

 

Izaya gritted his teeth. He was getting pissed now. “I forgot”

 

“Like fucking hell you did! I know you’re probably angry at me, but don’t get back at me through our daughter!”

 

Izaya narrowed his eyes. That was the last thing he’d ever do! The informant bit back his retort, Mai was still with him after all, he continued in a calm voice. “I’ll bring her home now” and then he ended the call, before he really lost it. He smiled at Mai. “Don’t worry. He’s not mad at you, ok?”

 

Mai started to cry again, she felt so bad now, that she’d gotten him into trouble. “I’m sorry!” Izaya sighed and walked toward her, pulling her close.

 

“Shhh. It’s ok. Daddy’s mad at me anyway. We can’t have him mad at you now can we?”

 

Mai clutched the back of his trousers. Izaya was extremely pissed off. Shizuo was angry, he knew that, the blond could never think clearly when he was angry, but he couldn’t ignore how hurtful it was to hear such mistrust from the one he thought knew him the best. _I guess he doesn’t know me as well as I originally thought_

 

 

Izaya and Mai walked to the door, Mai clutching his hand tightly. He had sent a text to Namiko in the end, saying that he wanted to take Mai out for dinner. Surprisingly, she replied good naturedly and said that it was fine, no doubt she had asked Shizuo first, Izaya snorted, like he needed permission to spend time with her anyway. So by the time they got back, the sun was setting, it didn’t matter, he got her home before her bedtime anyway.

 

Izaya flinched when he was met with Shizuo’s angry glare as the door opened. He watched Shizuo bend down and hug their daughter tightly, mumbling his worries to her, telling her he was glad she was safe. For a split second, Izaya wanted nothing more then to be embraced in those arms again, he placed his hands in his jacket, to hide his clenched fists. Mai turned to smile at him and then gave him a hug. “I’ll see you soon ok?” she nodded and was coaxed into the house by Shizuo and told to get ready for bed. Izaya glanced at him and swallowed his pride before speaking again. “I’m sorry”

 

Shizuo frowned, Izaya could see him gripping the door frame, but he didn’t move. “I nearly called the police”

 

Izaya refrained from rolling his eyes, any parent would do the same he supposed. “I- I haven’t slept much, and to be honest, I missed her. When I picked her up from school, I forgot to text you” well, it wasn’t a complete lie. He was damn tired. And he did miss her, but he’d never take her from the school without letting Shizuo or his parents know. it pained him that he hoped Shizuo would know that much at least.

 

Shizuo seemed to think over his words, until he said- “I hurt you, I get that. but to hurt me back through Mai….” Shizuo gritted his teeth. “That’s fucking low Izaya”

 

Izaya sneered at him, he had to leave, before Shizuo could see the tears that he felt burning their way into his eyes. “You really think I would do that don’t you?”

 

“What am I supposed to think?”

 

“Tst. Right” then he left. Actually, he ran, because he needed to get away from him, because his heart was beating painfully in his chest.

 

 

Shizuo clenched his fist and shut the door, being careful not to slam it. he entered the kitchen and his mother shook her head. “What?”

 

“I think you need to talk to Mai”

 

“It’s not her fault. Izaya-”

 

“Did nothing wrong”

 

Shizuo wasn’t sure if he heard that right. sure, he didn’t want them to hate him or anything, but- what Izaya did was irresponsible and spiteful. “You telling me that what he did was ok?”

 

Namiko knew her son was angry, and that he probably wouldn’t have listened to Izaya, even if the raven had tried to explain what happened. She smiled at him and placed a hand on his shoulder, that seemed to calm him. “Izaya didn’t take her from the school Shizuo”

 

Shizuo blinked in confusion “What do you mean?”

 

Namiko knew he’d feel extremely guilty after she told him, but she couldn’t let Izaya carry on taking the blame. “Mai told me what really happened. She left the school by herself; she missed him and was really upset today. She knows it was wrong, but she turned up at Izaya’s office, because she knew he’d be there still. Izaya covered for her, because he felt bad, and he didn’t want her in trouble”

 

Shizuo sat himself on the chair at the table. It hadn’t been Izaya’s fault. He hadn’t- Shizuo felt guilt crush him, how could he have thought that? he had been so worried about Mai….how could he accuse Izaya of such a horrible thing? “Shit….” Shizuo grasped his head, elbows on the table. “What have I done? I’ve screwed this up….so much”

 

Namiko lay her hand on his “Shizuo. You need to calm down and clear your head. I know you’ve been angry lately. But now that you’re thinking isn’t clouded right now. can I ask you something?” Shizuo sighed and nodded, he couldn’t really look at her at the moment. “You still love him; I know that much”

 

Shizuo huffed a laugh “Of course I do” and he meant that, and he said it without much hesitation. Feeling his heart flutter for a second. Because he really did love him.

 

“Then my question is; why are you here, and not with him?”

 

Shizuo gasped lightly. What the hell was he even doing? Izaya meant everything to him. How could he just- he was angry sure, because the fact that he lied hurt him, but…. Given the situation, if it were reversed, would he have lied to protect Izaya? The same way the raven had done to protect him. And speaking of that. Shizuo felt extremely awful, how could he leave him alone at a time like this? Whoever it was that had caused them such hassle, the man was still out there somewhere, and Shizuo had just left him. He hadn’t much thought about it at the time, because he really was so angry. But now, how could he have been so stupid? Shizuo left, and he knew that if something had happened to Izaya…. He’d never forgive himself. “Damn it….what have I done?”

 

Namiko smiled “Don’t blame yourself. Just make it right now. you are going to drop Mai off at school tomorrow and you are going to go to him and talk it out. Then, you will both pick her up from school together. She’ll know instantly, that everything will be ok”

 

Shizuo looked up at her. What she said, sounded so real, so true. “What if…what if I left it too long? what if the things I said…hurt him too much, what if he never wants to see me again?”

 

Namiko shook her head. “I don’t think that’s true. But you won’t know until you try”

 

Shizuo nodded. He looked down. God, he missed Izaya so much. And now that he was calm, what his mother had said made more sense then what anything had in the last week or so. “Thanks”

 

 

Izaya stood outside the familiar place. How long had it been since he was last here?

 

Flashes of Shizuo breaking someone’s nose for trying to kiss him entered his mind. He almost smirked, then remembered why he was here in the first place. He was angry! That much was certain, angry at Shizuo, angry at himself, and he just wanted to- get away from the world.

 

Izaya stumbled forward slightly, before composing himself at the entrance of the building. Eagle Tokyo. His already alcohol influenced mind was what lead him to want to be here. Izaya didn’t drink, but right now, he couldn’t care less. He made his way into the vibrant bar and took a seat on one of the stools, he ordered his drink and then glanced around, looking for someone in particular, hoping he’d still find him here. The strange fuzzy feeling he was starting to get sifted through his mind and made his body feel light. He shook his head as he ordered another drink, he didn’t care about the look he was receiving from barman, no doubt surprised how fast he was drinking. Saki. What was this now, his fifth glass? And that was after drinking the leftover whiskey he found on the top shelf of the cupboard in the kitchen.

 

Izaya blinked away the dizziness and almost wondered whether this was a good idea after all. He began to feel the room spinning slightly, the blinking lights on the dance floor blurred around him. Before he could think about what a bad mistake this was, his eyes locked onto someone, his eyes shifting back into focus and he grinned. _There you are_ the man in questioned blinked in surprise and he made his way over when he was sure Izaya was alone this time.

 

“I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Izaya Orihara. I’m pretty sure that’s you right?” the man laughed and sat himself next to the raven. “What brings you back here? where’s that protective lover of yours? Or should I say civil partner? I heard through the grapevine”

 

Izaya flinched. He didn’t want to think about Shizuo right now. but the man couldn’t know could he? After all, even though he’d threw his ring at Shizuo, he had retrieved it from the floor, and it was back on his finger. Even after what happened on the porch of Shizuo’s parents house earlier today, he still couldn’t take it off. “We’re not together anymore”

 

He watched the other’s expression, and he seemed genuinely surprised. “Really? How come?”

 

Izaya turned to the barman, holding up two fingers this time, two more Saki’s and he slid one over. “That’s none of your business”

 

The man shrugged and tilted the glass up in a thank you gesture before knocking it back. “So. Am I to assume that you’ve come here seeking me out?”

 

Izaya would have laughed at the man’s arrogant assumption, if it weren’t for the fact it was true. “You came over to me”

 

The male almost grinned “True. I just had to confirm that it was really you”

 

“So even after all this time, you’re still coming here”

 

“I could say the same to you”

 

“But I’d be willing to bet. That you stay here, because you keep hoping that I’ll come back”

 

A hand found its way to his arm, and Izaya made no move to push him away. He downed his drink and stood up, grabbed the man’s wrist and led him to the dancefloor. His lousy balance was covered by the fact they were dancing, and he was almost grateful that- wait- _what was his name?_ Izaya searched his fuzzy brain until he could come up with a name that sounded familiar. _Rin?_ Yeah, he was pretty sure it was Rin.

 

“You caught me. That’s exactly right” he heard Rin whisper in his ear, what were they talking about again? Ah, Izaya had asked if he stayed to look for him. He grinned, so he was right, he hadn’t expected that to be true, it was a wild guess if he was honest. For a few minutes, they were grinding against one another on the dancefloor, Izaya’s fingers splayed over Rin’s back, and dug his short nails into him. A gasp escaped Rin’s lips and it was all the raven needed to set him off, he grabbed the man’s wrist and pulled him away from the floor and dragged him outside.  Izaya pushed him against the wall and their lips met. Rin moaned against him and allowed himself to be forced into the alley beside the bar. They stumbled against the wall and Rin grasped Izaya’s jacket and shoved him backwards into a large bin. A low groan escaped the raven’s lips and Rin clawed at his back while his lips latched onto his neck, sucking him hard. Izaya fought to stay in control and forced them forward, he grabbed a fist full of Rin’s hair and kissed him hard on the lips while stumbling against the wall.

 

“T-there’s….a motel…nearby” Rin gasped out as the two stopped and broke the kiss for a second.

 

 _Classy_ Izaya thought bitterly. But a thought sprung to mind, that if he cared about their place of preference, then he was still sober enough to not go through with this. Izaya pushed against him hard, grinding their bodies together before replying. “Fine. But I want to be less sober, before I fuck you” Izaya inwardly shuddered, had those words just left his lips?

 

At some point, the two had made it to a motel, and three or four empty bottles later, they were practically attacking each other. The lamp smashed to the floor as they stumbled across the room, Izaya removed his shirt and used his knife to shred Rin’s away. The raven groaned as Rin clawed at his chest with hard force, enough to leave a trail of blood in its wake before instantly clotting over. Izaya threw him against the vanity and the thin mirror behind them cracked from the force of the raven’s palm. Rin grinned up at him, not even the slightest care. “Still wild I see” he said, Izaya removed Rin’s belt and slid his pants off and then grinded himself between his legs. He grabbed Rin’s shaft and began to pump him. Rin gasped and wrapped his arms around Izaya’s back, dragging his nails across him. Izaya pulled him back toward the bed and they both fell against it. Whatever rational thoughts were in Izaya’s head vanished as he slid two digits into Rin. His mind all but hazy now from the amount of alcohol in his system. Izaya pulled his fingers out and positioned himself at Rin’s entrance, it should have been his last chance to stop himself, but…. “Fuck me Izaya”

 

And Izaya did. He stripped himself of his pants and entered him deep, hissing at the same time as Rin’s teeth sunk rather deeply into his shoulder. _Shit_ Something at the back of his mind told him to stop, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t stop himself. He thrust into Rin hard and then silenced Rin’s loud moan with a harsh kiss as they both came, too disorientated to care how long they lasted…..

 

#########

 

Izaya took a shuddering breath as he took in his surroundings once more. His eyes shifted back to the mirror, glancing as the figure in the bed-who he could now place as Rin-crawled over to him. Izaya could see a couple of cuts on his chest, and bruises adorning his neck, matching his own. “Morning…” Rin told him. Izaya was horrified with himself, Rin didn’t seem to care in the slightest at what they’d done, and the smirk he gave was proof of that.

 

He couldn’t hold it in anymore, he ran into the bathroom and threw up.

 

Izaya lay his head on the cool texture of the sink. _What have I done?_ There wasn’t a thing he could do to change anything. He felt disgusted with himself. Just what was going through his head when he, he caught the glint of his ring- _oh god. Shizu-chan….I’m so sorry_  A sudden glass of water was in front of him, and he didn’t care who the hand belonged to, his mouth was like a desert. He drank the water in only a few gulps and pulled himself to his feet.

 

“You ok?” Izaya ignored him and walked into the room to grab his shirt. He had to get the hell out of here, where the hell was it? he stilled when two arms wrapped around him. “We belong together. Izaya. I’ve waited for you”

 

Izaya felt sick. What they’d done last night….that wasn’t him, he refused to believe that. yes he liked roughness at times, but that was- he was drunk out of his mind, he could have- he glanced at the broken mirror and the trail of mess around the bed. He might have accidently fucking killed him. “Get off” Izaya said sternly, at least Rin complied. Finally, he found his shirt, he pulled it on and continued to search for his shoes.

  
“You always come back to me Izaya. There’s no mistake in that. I know you. I know what you desire”

 

 _Argh_ “I’m nothing like that. you don’t know me at all” where was his fucking shoes? And his knife for that matter.

 

“It’s ok you know. I don’t mind”

 

“Shut up Rin. You don’t know what you’re talking about”

 

Rin watched as Izaya picked up his finally located shoes, sliding them on and hastily looked for his knife. “Despite what happened last night. I wouldn’t hurt you”

 

Izaya had no idea what the hell Rin was rambling about, and he didn’t care. Ah! There was his knife, fallen just under the vanity. He bent down to pick it up and just as he was about to reach for his jacket-

 

“He doesn’t deserve you. it’s ok Izaya. He won’t hurt you anymore right? because you left him. I tried to stop him before, but he got bailed for some reason”

 

Wait, what? Izaya spun around, eyes narrowed. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

 

“Before. A few weeks ago. I told the police about what I thought was going on. Sorry, it didn’t work though”

 

No, no way-

 

All this time-

 

It had nothing to do with-

 

It was Rin! He was responsible for Shizuo’s arrest….. and- and- was he still that hung up on him? Almost seven years later!

 

Izaya had just slept with Shizuo’s accuser!

 

Before Izaya could throw up again, anger overtook him, and he lunged at Rin. They toppled to the floor, Izaya’s hand around his throat. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. You son of a bitch. Did you honestly think I’d even allow myself to be with someone that hurt me?” Izaya’s grip tightened and gritted his teeth. “Shizuo has never laid a finger on me. Who gave you the right to interfere with my relationship!?” Izaya practically screamed in his face.

 

“B-but….back…at the bar…”

 

“You were trying to kiss me! You deserved what you got. Just because of that, that gives you assumptions that he’s violent!?” ok. Shizuo was violent, but not like that. never like that. “You’re lucky I don’t slit your throat right here” Izaya released him, grabbed his jacket and left the motel as quickly as possible.

 

Rin lay there dumbfounded, had he really gotten it so wrong?  “Izaya. You belong to me. I’m sure of it. because in the end, you always come back”

 

………………………

 

 

Shizuo sighed as he leant against the wall. He still had his key. But it didn’t feel right, just budging into the apartment, despite his intentions for being here, he didn’t live here; he’d made that perfectly clear. But, he hoped….that by the end of this, he will be, and he could hold Izaya close to him, and never let him go again.

 

Shizuo had already dropped Mai off at school, then he made his way to the apartment. He had knocked a few times but got nothing, he knew Izaya was up early, so it would make sense if he was out. He tried to squash the feeling of worry. Izaya was fine. Of course he was. He had to be. He’d wait here all day if he had to.

 

Izaya trudged up the stairs, a frown constant on his face. His head was still hurting, and he felt like shit. All he wanted was to wash the smell of alcohol from his clothes and the taste of it out of his mouth; not to mention the scent of- Izaya clenched his fist, anger flashed through him, he had no one to blame but himself. He just wanted to sleep it off. He turned the corner and froze.

 

Why!

 

Why the hell did Shizuo have to be here now!

 

Oh god

 

He’d know, he’d figure it out right away

 

Izaya’s clothes reeked of alcohol, and though his shirt and jacket hid most of his marks; his neck…..

 

Shizuo turned his head and Izaya wanted to bolt. Why was he smiling?

 

“Izaya” Shizuo stood up and rubbed the back of his head. “Hey… I just- I came over to apologise. Mai told us the truth, that she left the school on her own and…I wanted to talk. I’ve been angry a lot lately, but now that I’ve had time to clear my head. I’m sorry Izaya, for a whole lot of things…”

 

Izaya’s eyes widened. Why. Why now. _don’t_

“I’m still pissed. But I want to talk…”

 

_Please don’t_

“I want to forgive you….”

 

_Oh god, please don’t_

“I’ve missed you…”

 

_No!_

“Izaya….”

 

 _Shizu-chan_ Izaya clenched his eyes shut

 

“I love you…”

 

Izaya’s eyes snapped open and Shizuo was caught by surprise at the tears glistening in them. “I slept with someone!”

 

For a moment, neither one moved. Izaya stumbled back against the wall, arms wrapping around himself. Shizuo stood there. eyes wide. “W-what…?”

 

Izaya looked away from him. “I- I slept with someone…”

 

Shizuo swallowed the lump in his throat “You…you’re lying”

 

 _Why would I lie about that!?_ Izaya felt anger surface, tears fell down his cheeks. “You left me! You left me damn it!” Izaya pounded his fists against Shizuo’s chest. “You packed your stuff and left!” Shizuo didn’t retaliate to Izaya’s hits, he was in shock. “After what happened on the porch…I was angry, I was hurting…”

 

Shizuo frowned, it was then he could smell the alcohol. “Did you- did you get drunk?” Izaya clutched his shirt. “Answer me!” the raven flinched, he looked up into Shizuo’s eyes, less warming then just a minute ago. But they weren’t full of anger, tears threatened to fall, they were full of betrayal. “One week….”

 

Izaya stepped back, arms falling by his sides, there was nothing he could say. He clenched his fists as he stared at the floor, unable to look at him anymore. He knew Shizuo could see the marks on his neck and thank god that was all he could see. “I didn’t….”

 

“If you say I didn’t mean to I swear to god-”

 

Izaya didn’t reply with what he wanted to that statement. Instead, he continued with his original sentence. “I didn’t think we had a chance left. I was hurting….”

 

“And you don’t think I was? I regretted leaving you every damn day, but I sure as hell didn’t get drunk and fuck someone else!” Shizuo smashed his fist on the wall behind him. Shizuo knew Izaya didn’t cheat on him, but it sure felt that way, and they’d only been separated a week! “I thought….I thought I could make things right. but, I guess we really don’t have a chance left”

 

Izaya glanced up at him, he didn’t think he could hear those words a second time. “Shizu-chan….”

 

“It’s over. I’m done” Shizuo slipped his ring off and placed it gently in Izaya’s palm and closed his fingers around it. “Goodbye Izaya…”

 

Izaya’s heart beat rapidly as he watched Shizuo walk away from him again, and he knew for sure now, that it would be for the last time. He fell against the wall, pounding his fist against it and slid to the floor. Tears falling down his face.

 

Shizuo ran into the street, picked up a trash can and lobbed it. He then threw his head back and screamed at the top of his lungs, as tears spilled down his cheeks.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :( :(
> 
> Don't hate me!


	9. Warnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, as I'm sure you're aware by now, that Jinnai Yodogiri is the main enemy in this story. So some scenes from now on may seem familiar because I needed them to fit into my own storyline. Of course, they will be different given the circumstances that Izaya no longer messes with people, and he hasn't done in a long time. Also, the scenes are jumbled around to fit the storylines that I've planned. 
> 
> A few other different things are that there is no Varona, nor is Jinnai a pawn for someone higher up, Kasane Kujiragi. it would make things a lot more complicated if they were to be in my story lol. 
> 
> Instead of the threats centered around Ruri, they are more fixed toward Izaya, for obvious reasons. 
> 
> But I'd like to point out, that I don't own the familiar scenes, nor the Characters, just the outcomes. the scenes belong to Ryohgo Narita. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for your time, and I really hope you guys like this chapter

It was over

 

It really was over this time

 

Izaya knew there wasn’t a chance to get him back now. _if I hadn’t gone to that fucking bar, if I had just gone home…. Shizu-chan would be….._ he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Shizuo had come here, willing to forgive him about the secrets, to forget their arguments, to work together. Izaya hadn’t known that, but that didn’t make him feel any better, because he blamed himself entirely. Of course he blamed himself, everything that had happened up to this point was his fault, at least that’s what he kept telling himself. He played things over and over in his head so many times that by now he couldn’t discern whether they’d actually happened or not.

 

_Shizuo stared down with hate filled eyes as he loomed over Izaya’s already beaten body, only to kick him harshly again. There was a silent scream, since the raven had long been unable to voice his agony; and then came the fatal blow that crushed his body with a sickening crack._

Izaya startled awake, it was nothing new, he started having that nightmare a week after Shizuo had left him for good. He had stopped wondering why that even was, because even though they’d split up on bad terms, he had no doubt that Shizuo would ever do anything to harm him. Izaya knew this to be a fact, Shizuo was heartbroken sure, but he didn’t hate him, well, maybe he did, but never to that extent. This was what sometimes led to his belief that everything they’d done, from the moment they’d gotten together up until they split, that it was all just a cruel dream. Izaya wasn’t sure if maybe it was true, it would certainly make sense, that fate would screw with him this badly, for all the wrongdoings he’d ever done in his life. Everyone would be back to normal, the cities would be flung back into a world of notorious gangs, and everyone hated him, including Shizuo.

 

Izaya groaned as his stomach burned when he shifted onto his side, he should probably eat something today, probably. His fingers reached out for the ring on his nightstand, he moved onto his back again and simply stared at it, like he had done almost every morning since Shizuo had given it back to him. It was only at the times when his nightmares shook him, he stared at the ring, to make sure that what had happened in the last nine years, was in fact, true.

 

Namie often told him that he should get some help, the signs were obvious to anyone who looked at him, to those who he knew cared about him. “You’re depressed” she would tell him every other day. Izaya would laugh at that statement, he would laugh, but never outright deny it. He found it almost comical, since she was the only one brave enough to actually tell him so. Though he’d begun to avoid a lot of people, making sure that they didn’t get to see what a pitiful state he was in. Izaya hid his pain when out in public of course, but he wasn’t sure he could hide from those who knew him well, so he avoided them.

 

Izaya sat up in the bed, placing the ring back on the nightstand and swung his legs over the bed. He caught himself in the mirror as he walked toward the bathroom to get ready, honestly, if he weren’t so bent on finding that damn Jinnai, he really would have just let himself head down into a spiral of self-pity and depression. He ran his hands over his ribs, and down to his sharp hip bones. He was thin, he bit his lip with a frown, too thin. Even his collar bone stood out, along with the pointed edges of his shoulders. Izaya never cared much about his size, but he always made sure he stayed above a certain weight, if only to keep a certain blond happy. Now, he stopped caring all together. It didn’t mean he liked it, but he hadn’t noticed until now, because he didn’t want to. Izaya sighed and continued into the bathroom to get ready.

 

Izaya stared at the calendar, a smile forming on his face; in two days, it was his weekend with Mai again. They’d had two of them already now, and he wouldn’t miss them for the world. Somehow, he’d managed to avoid Shizuo a lot more then he thought was possible. He couldn’t handle seeing him, just being within the same space drove daggers through his heart. That, and the fact that he was worried about the possibility that they might start arguing. He couldn’t do that, Mai didn’t need to see that, nor did she need to sense that kind of atmosphere. So, the weekends that Izaya got with her, he’d simply pick her up from school to avoid any type of confrontation with his ex-lover.

 

He finished his coffee and was about to get something from the fridge, he was pretty sure that the sushi he’d brought was still edible, then he heard a knock on the door. sighing, he left the kitchen, the knock sounded urgent and somewhat angry, though he noted with relief that the loud noise wasn’t enough to be the blond that had invaded his thoughts just now. “Izaya! I know you’re in there!” came the voice as he reached the front door. His hand stopped in mid-air, he really didn’t want to see anyone close to him right now, but he needed to go to work, and there wasn’t a way to do that without them seeing him. He slid into his jacket. Even that was bigger on him then it used to be, but it did the job of hiding just how thin he actually was. He opened the door and stared at the light brunette in front of him, before smiling.

 

“Saki. What brings you here this early?” he would exchange pleasantries with her, and then leave for work. Saki frowned at him and barged her way inside his apartment. So much for the pleasantries. “What can I do for you?” he watched her pace around his living room as he sat down on the couch.

 

“Stop sending Masaomi on errands!”

 

Izaya blinked at her, then he leaned forward to explain. It was true, since that incident in his apartment with the sniper, he had been more cautious, and only recently had he asked Masaomi for help. “Saki…”

 

“You know he’s bored; you know he still wants adventure, and you’re taking advantage of that!”

 

Also true. Having remembered the conversation he’d had with her, she’d told him about Masaomi’s need to still feel free, to have excitement in his life. Izaya had asked him to look into certain places that he had a hunch about, places that would lead him further toward his goal. In fact, two days prior, Masaomi had called him with information that linked with a certain abnormal female that he knew was currently in hiding with Shizuo’s brother. He only found that out through news articles, and of course, Shinra; because he had accidently let it slip that he’d treated her for wounds. It didn’t take long to figure out that Ruri Hijiribe, the talented singer and former makeup artist was involved with the same man he had spent months tracking. Since he was aware that Jinnai was more than an informant, Izaya found out that Ruri had been scouted by him for her talent. Though the raven wasn’t stupid, given her strange abilities-which dubbed her as the would be serial killer Hollywood-Izaya was willing to bet that Jinnai used her for more then just her celebrity status. He phoned Kasuka to personally to advise him to lay low, that he might be in danger if Ruri continued to stay with him. Kasuka was still technically his brother in law, and Izaya wasn’t going to not warn him of potentially dangerous threats to his life. _If only I had done that with Shizu-chan right away_ Izaya shook the thoughts from his mind. He realised he had yet to answer Saki and she was scowling at him, waiting for his reply. “Sorry. I’ve been spacing out a little recently” he wasn’t even sure why he just admitted that to her just now, but as he had previously admitted to himself, he couldn’t hide his pain all the time from those closest to him.

 

“Stop sending Masaomi on these trips” she repeated

 

“I didn’t force him. He inquired as to what I was up to, we bumped into each other on the street, he offered to help once I had explained certain details”

 

Saki sat down on the couch beside him “I know you’re having a hard time right now. I don’t want to know what you’re doing that you need his help for. But I can take a guess it has something to do with Mai’s past, right?”

 

Izaya stood up, placing his hands in his jacket “Satoshi found out his name. I’ve been tracking the bastard since then, he’s the reason that Shizu-chan and I are no longer together, aside from myself being the other cause. As long as he still exists, Mai and Shizuo are in danger”

 

“Izaya. Do you realise that if you keep pursuing him, that they’re going to be in danger anyway? Along with yourself”

 

Izaya smiled a little “I know. But if I stop my search, there will be nothing I can do. If they’re going to remain in danger no matter what; at least this way I’ll be able to keep an eye on them”

 

Saki had relented some of her anger she first had when she came here. “Does Shizuo know what you’re doing?”

 

Izaya shrugged “It doesn’t matter. I suspect he knows I haven’t stopped looking”

 

Saki smiled sadly, she had a feeling that Izaya’s words had a double meaning, because she suspected what he meant to say was ‘I suspect he knows I haven’t stopped _caring_ ’ “Izaya, I know you just want them safe. but….please, don’t involve Masaomi anymore”

 

Izaya looked at her for a moment before sighing “All right”

 

Saki stared at him in surprise “You- you mean it?”

 

Izaya nodded “I suppose its not fair that I get other people involved. He’ll want an explanation though, because he’ll know that someone has asked me to stop coming to him for help, it won’t take him long to figure out that it was you” Saki looked down at her hands in her lap, she twiddled her thumbs, and Izaya seemed to pick up on her nervousness. He walked toward her and knelt down in front of her. “Saki? Is there something I should know?”

 

“I- I haven’t told him yet. Because I needed you to agree not to send him on anymore dangerous chases. Though I appreciate that you pay him at least”

 

Izaya smiled, and then it was gone a second later. “Saki, are you pregnant?”

 

Saki swallowed and then nodded “I found out a week ago”

 

Izaya sighed, he brought his arm around her as he sat beside her. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

 

“Because I didn’t want to be selfish. You know how much he cares about Mai, and you for that matter, at least, now he does”

 

“I would not have come to him at all if I knew about your condition”

 

Saki smiled at him “I didn’t know either. So it’s not really your fault. I’ve just been thinking that’s all, about his safety, about the baby inside me, and how I don’t want to keep worrying about the possible danger he’s in”

 

Izaya felt an odd sense of familiarity about the situation. “He’ll understand when you tell him. He wanted a normal life once, when he was a kid. So I’m sure he’ll make the right decision. Kind of what I should have done” he gave her a smile, but she could see the sadness in his eyes, the regret that shone in them was unmistakable.

 

“I’m always here you know. for you” Izaya kissed the top of her head and stood up, she took that as a sign that she should leave. He walked her to the door and she suddenly embraced him in a hug. “Please be careful, I want this baby to meet you”

 

Izaya rubbed her back a little and chuckled “Just worry about yourself. I’ll be fine”

 

Saki nodded and smiled as she left the apartment.

 

Izaya pulled out his phone, checking his emails, he’d still had yet to check out the last place Masaomi had told him about. Shrugging, he figured he might as well start there before going to his office, not quite ready to deal with Namie bitching at him about his health. He slipped on his shoes and left, the sushi in his fridge forgotten about, since the coffee he’d had left a placebo effect on his stomach, thinking that it was full for now.

 

………………………

 

“I saw Izaya yesterday” Namiko said quietly to her husband as they both sat in the living room. Shizuo had already dropped Mai off at school and had gone to work, so she wasn’t sure why she had said it quietly.

 

“How is he?”

 

“I didn’t talk to him. I saw him across the street as I was getting groceries”

 

“Shizuo said that he hasn’t seen him hardly at all since- you know”

 

Namiko nodded “Everything is a mess”

 

Kichirou sighed as he took a sip of his coffee. “They’re too stubborn. That’s their problem”

 

“I think this is beyond the two just being stubborn now. before, they might have had a chance to make it ok, but now….”

 

“Yeah. I know. but I can’t hate the guy. He told Shizuo outright, gotta give him credit for that, since he could have just not told him, and they would have gotten back together with that secret locked away”

 

“You’re right. but as horrible as it was, Izaya didn’t cheat”

 

“I’m not taking sides. I get the feeling Shizuo doesn’t want us to be on bad terms with Izaya”

 

Namiko shook her head “Of course not” Kichirou noticed the slightly worried expression on his wife’s face.

 

“How bad?” he asked, he need not give anymore clues to his question.

 

“I only saw him for a couple of minutes, like I said, I was shopping” Namiko sighed “He looks awful”

 

“In what way?”

 

“He’s lost a lot of weight. And I couldn’t tell properly, but there were dark circles under his eyes, he looked so….broken, and so frail”

 

Kichirou blinked, not quite expecting that answer, maybe something like ‘he looks sad, or a little lost’ but to hear those explanations, it didn’t sit right with him. “Should we…tell Shizuo?”

 

“No. he’s got enough to deal with right now. I think he’s worried about Kasuka, and so am I. Shizuo mentioned something about a woman staying with him that seemed a little odd. The two are now a couple it would seem, I’m happy for them, but Shizuo said that they told him she might have a stalker”

 

 

_Shizuo smiled as he walked into the break room of the building he worked at. His brother stood to greet him. “Hey” Shizuo said as he raised a hand “What’s up Kasuka. What brings you all the way here?”_

_“They told me I should wait until you got back. Is this a good time?”_

_“Sure, I’m done for the day anyway. Our folks are picking Mai up, so…”_

_“All right. I need your advice about something”_

_Shizuo seemed slightly surprised by this “Seriously?”_

_Kasuka nodded, and then he looked over at Ruri, who seemed to be a little shy. She stammered out a greeting as she took off her glasses. “Hi. Um… it’s nice to meet you”_

_There was a bit of commotion outside as some of Shizuo’s work colleagues couldn’t help but get excited and flustered at the fact there was a celebrity in their building. Shizuo tilted his head and then all three sat down after he slammed the door in their faces. “Oh. That’s where I’ve seen you” he looked at them both and then said “So I take you are both- you know”_

_Kasuka simply nodded a little and replied “We’re romantically involved but that’s not why-” he was soon interrupted by his brother’s reaction._

_Shizuo slapped a hand on his knee “Oh great! Good for you” Ruri simply avoided his gaze, unsure what she should do. Shizuo looked at her “Why are you shaking? Are you cold or something?”_

_“She’s just a little nervous, because she’s seen one of your rampages up close before”_

_Shizuo sighed, guilt evident on his expression. “When? It’s kind of been a while…..you know, it doesn’t matter, I’m sorry you had to see that anyway”_

_Ruri stared in surprise “N-no. not at all, if anyone is sorry, it should be me”_

_Shizuo looked between them for a second, before breaking into a full smile, something Kasuka hadn’t seen in some time; he had a feeling though, that his brother wasn’t really all that happy inside. “Oh. Now I know why you’re here. its obvious. You’re getting hitched! Well, I guess the first order of business would be to tell Mom and Dad about it. after that, you’re gonna have to figure out how to break it to your fans. Gotta be careful how you do it, the news could cause a riot”_

_Kasuka seemed like he was studying his brother carefully, trying to figure out how he was feeling. But that would have to wait. “Thanks. But we’re not getting married. I need your advice about something else”_

_Shizuo blinked “What?”_

_“Are you still part of the dollars?”_

_………………………….._

_Shizuo clenched his fists “This stalker of hers is in the dollars?”_

_“I dug around and that’s what it seems. I know that you’re in it, and I was wondering if you would help put an end to this”_

_Shizuo scratched the back of his head and then leaned forward with a sigh. Kasuka watched his form, he looked sadly at the ground. “I don’t know. you see, I’m not in the dollars anymore, since Mai started school actually, and also….I don’t know much about what goes on anymore since Izaya and I- you know” Kasuka nodded, he didn’t want to ask, but he was running out of options. “Anyway. What about the cops. Did you talk to them?”_

_Ruri flinched and Kasuka lay his hand over hers as she replied “Yes. I called them one night when I couldn’t unlock my front door. The stalker had jammed something in the keyhole”_

_Kasuka looked back at Shizuo “They checked all the camera’s. it showed a sketchy looking guy in the hallways. But they couldn’t see his face”_

_“The police patrolled the area after that. but then he showed up at my photoshoot. He left behind a bunch of bloody pictures of me”_

_Shizuo’s eyes widened slightly as he tried figure things out. “If he knows where you work, then that narrows the list of suspects down. Think it could be someone you work with?”_

_“It isn’t” Kasuka said “The police checked. They think he might be a fan. Someone who’s tied in with those who deals info about idols online”_

_Shizuo opened his mouth to say something but Ruri spoke again “I’ve had fans like that before, but the police checked all the ones that were on my blacklist”_

_“After snooping around. I found out that the ones trading info on Ruri are in the dollars. I tried to sign up, but their page isn’t working anymore”_

_Shizuo nodded. “The kid who started the whole thing is a teacher now. I don’t know if he maybe stopped the dollars from growing any bigger”_

_“I see”_

_“Sorry man. I don’t have the brains to be a hacker, that’s for sure” Shizuo bit his lip in thought. “Look. I won’t get mad or anything if you want to ask Izaya for help on this. We’re not talking at all right now, but….I know he’ll help you”_

_Kasuka didn’t want to mention to Shizuo that Izaya had called him to warn him of any potential danger. He hadn’t expected the call anyway, but this was something deeper, something he didn’t know how to solve. He wanted Shizuo’s permission to ask Izaya for help, he looked at Ruri and she got the hint and decided to wait outside. Once she was gone, he looked over at Shizuo. “How are you. really”_

_Shizuo gave him a smile, though it was clearly forced. “I’m doing ok. I have bad days, sure, but I’ve got Mai to think about”_

_“And how is she doing?”_

_“Better then before. now that Izaya and I aren’t talking at all, there’s less tension. She just looks forward to the second weekend when she can see him. I spend time with her on the first weekend, she’s getting used to it I think…..she has sad days too though”_

_“I didn’t want to say anything in front of Ruri. Because I know it’s hard for her to talk about. But she was used for strange purposes by a scouting agent president. He used her for occult rituals, the company’s investors cut her body and drank her blood”_

_Shizuo cringed “That’s disgusting. The fuck is wrong with people, can’t they- wait, did you say scouting agent? That’s like a talent agency to idols like her right?”_

_“Yes. Though this was sometime ago, no one knows what he does now, he seems to have disappeared. Ruri escaped him a while later, when she found out that he had her father killed, after already telling her that he wouldn’t if she did as asked”_

_Shizuo clenched his fists in anger, he had a bad feeling about this. “Did you get a name?”_

_Kasuka looked at him, wondering why Shizuo was angry all of a sudden, besides what he’d told him. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you about that, so-”_

_Shizuo grit his teeth “The name, Kasuka” it was rare for Shizuo to show anger toward him, so the actor decided it would be best to give Shizuo an idea of who to listen out for._

_“Jinnai Yodogiri”_

_Shizuo’s eyes widen and he stood up with anger “Are you fucking serious!?”_

_Kasuka didn’t react to him, he simply stared up at his brother with his usual blank expression. But his eyes gave away worry. “Are you familiar with the name?”_

_Shizuo resisted the urge to throw something, his breathing quickly becoming heavy as he tried to calm down. “That bastard….”_

_Kasuka stood up “Shizuo”_

_“That same guy. He’s responsible for the threats Izaya received. And responsible for that Sato guy who attacked him trying to get Mai. He’s the one running the whole trafficking ring that wanted her mother six and half years ago”_

_Rarely did Kasuka show any other expression, but his face bore a look of surprise now. “I see. Then, could it be possible that he might also be responsible for Ruri’s stalker?”_

_“I don’t doubt it. he’s probably the one feeding him the information. You should know, he’s an information broker too”_

_“Oh. And does Izaya know this?”_

_“Yeah….” Shizuo clenched his fists again, irritation when he remembered the whole reasons for their breakup, the secrets… “He fucking knows all right”_

_“Perhaps it might be better then, to not approach him on this matter”_

_Shizuo shook his head, calming himself “Sorry, no. you can, I mean, he’s already gotten himself involved as it is” and this time, instead of feeling angry, he felt worry overcome him. “I don’t even know if- if he’s all right. the only time I find out if he’s ok is when Mai goes to see him. That’s only every two weeks, I don’t see or hear from him”_

_“It’s obvious you’re worried”_

_Shizuo glanced away then, pushing his glasses up. “Anyway. He’s probably got a good idea about what’s going on by now. Not sure about the stalker, but he might be able to connect some dots for you” and almost faintly, Shizuo smiled. “He’s- he’s pretty smart like that, I know he’s good at what he does…”_

_Kasuka nodded “Thank you brother. If I talk to him, I’ll let you know he’s ok” They were interrupted by the sound of a small meow. Kasuka bent down to pick up his cat. “Ruri is going to stay with me until we can sort this all out. We don’t want to leave her alone in the apartment encase the stalker might hurt her. Can you take her home with you? I’m sure Mom and Dad won’t mind”_

_Shizuo scratched the back of his head. “Eh…sure, I guess”_

“I suppose telling him about Izaya isn’t the best thing to do then. We don’t want to be the cause of another argument. Shizuo still cares about him, I know that much, but I doubt Izaya would appreciate him going over to yell at him about his health”

 

“It’s best to leave it for now. they’ll cross paths at some point anyway”

 

…………………….

 

Izaya stood within the ruins of what looked like a house. He’d already noticed the plaque on the wall outside, telling him that this house in fact, belonged to Ruri’s family. He decided to look around while he was here, maybe he could get some clues as to where Jinnai might be now. _I’m getting closer, I can feel it, she might be the key to solving this mess_.

 

Izaya took his phone out and searched for the person he was looking for and then waited until they picked up.  “It’s me. I’m at the Hijiribe home, you were right, it’s nothing but rubble now. I’m actually calling for a different reason though, did you speak to Saki?” Izaya jumped up onto part of the broken panelling, kicking one piece of it out of the way. “I don’t think you working with me on this is the best idea. She’s worried about you, she doesn’t want you in danger, more so now then before” the raven placed his hand in his pocket as he looked out over the landscape. “That’s something you’ll have to ask her. I’m not at liberty to tell you, it’s her right, not mine. I just thought I’d let you know that I-”

 

He stilled when something that sounded like a rock falling close behind him, he carefully lowered his arm and placed his phone back in his pocket, bringing his hand back out a second later in favour of his knife. More rubble slid from behind and Izaya span around with his blade, narrowly avoiding the sharp edge of a sword. He ducked his head, his knife coming up to counter the other’s blade. “For someone with the intent to kill me, you’re not very good at stealth” He gritted out with a slight grin. The person attacking him was wearing a mask over half of their face, and he was unsure as to what their gender was. Not that it mattered to him, they were out to kill him after all.

 

Izaya jumped off to the side, the blade of the sword coming down harshly onto the wood, slicing through at least three thick panels with a clean cut. _If that blade so much as scratches me, I’m done for, it’s extremely sharp_ Izaya ducked again and swirled around as the person swung the sword at him, again crashing through the broken ruins. _Are they even trying to hit me?_ A laugh escaped from the attacker, which gave away that they were a he. Izaya jumped backwards when the attacker lunged at him, the raven rose his blade up, able to catch the man in the stomach. He let out a scream but jumped up again, and landed in a crouch, sword planted into the broken roof. The wood split with a loud snap, and only then did Izaya realise that the man was intentionally not hitting him. Izaya quickly tried to jump from the small roof but a sudden pain shot through his leg and he collapsed to his knees. The raven turned to his attacker, whom laughed manically and then ran off as the rest of the house began to cave in. Izaya tried to quickly get to his feet, but he didn’t have enough time to make the jump and he let out a yelp as he fell, along with the contents of the roof.

 

_A figure sat in a dark room, the only lights visible, were that of three computer screens. He was grinning maliciously at them, licking his lips as his eyes traced the idols features; Ruri Hijiribe. “All right Mr Yodogiri. What do you want?”_

_He waited a moment, and then the voice of the old man came onto the phone. “Remember how when we exchanged information on Ruri Hijiribe. You agreed to do me a favour at some point in time. I was hoping to- what’s the phrase, cash in”_

_“It appears that my threatening nature isn’t what it used to be. I’ve got someone trailing me, someone who is getting to be a bother… he’s like me, an information broker you see….I suppose that I might have expected his wrath”_

_“So what do you want me to do? Sounds like your problem”_

_“Yes. but this particularly person is involved with a certain brother of the one who Ruri is currently dating. He could very well gather up some very important information about you”_

_The man’s eyes widen in a crazed fashion “I’ll kill him then!”_

_Jinnai laughed “No no. not yet. I’d like to have some fun first. He’s not someone that is so quickly defeated. Threaten him for now, if need be, rough him up a bit. That’s all”_

_He grinned “Right”_

Izaya grunted as he pushed splintered wood to the side and pulled himself from the debris. He hissed as he stumbled forward, catching himself against the wall; he looked outside, it was dark now. _I must have blacked out_ his fingers touched the side of his head and he winced, moving them away to reveal what he already expected, blood. He made his way out of the rubble and into the open space. He heard his phone bleep as he limped across the grass to lean up against the wall of the entrance. “Ah!” pain shot down his leg again as he lifted it up to try and see the damage. It was too dark to get a good look at it, but since he was having a hard time bending it, the injury was likely at the back of his leg. “The hell did he hit me with?” he ruled out the sword, since he probably wouldn’t have a leg at all. His hand moved down his leg to feel around the wounded area, he hissed when he immediately came into contact with a small thin handle. Taking a breath, he yanked the offending item out, biting back a scream. He brought it to his eye level, only to identify the object as a screwdriver. “He attacks me with a sword and then stabs me with a fucking screwdriver? What a nutcase” though it was clear that the man wasn’t there to kill him, and, checking his phone he read an email that seemed to confirm that fact.

 

: **Play with fire and you’ll get burned. Consider this as definite warning. Izaya:**

Izaya gritted his teeth, he was pissed now. _how the hell did he know where I was? He couldn’t have known!_

Namie looked up from her desk with an annoyed expression, she was about to go home, she’d been waiting for him to show up for work all damn day, and she was bored! The door opened and she was ready to give him a piece of her mind. “The least you could have done is told me you weren’t going to-” she stopped mid-sentence when she saw what state her boss was in. Namie stood up as he shut the door behind him and used the wall to steady himself as he shuffled forward. “What the hell happened to you?”

 

Izaya looked up at her with a light smile “Ngh. I had a little run in with some…nutcase…”

 

Namie walked over to him, still pretty annoyed that he’d left her here without anything to do all day. “Who?”

 

“I couldn’t see his face…. But he knew my location…I just don’t know how”

 

Namie frowned “Why are you here? you should have gone to Shinra’s”

 

“Well I knew you’d be annoyed….so, I wanted to tease you”

 

Namie shook her head, she knew that was a blatant lie, and there was something he wasn’t telling her. Given what she knew had happened in the recent months, it didn’t take her long to figure out. “You need to stop. Now”

 

“Hm? What are you talking about now?”

 

Namie bared her teeth at him, he laughed at her and then she was forced to catch him when he fell against her. Namie dragged him over to the couch and shoved him non too gently on it, he glared at her and she left the room for a moment. She came back with a first aid box and knelt down on the floor in front of him. “Take these off” She demanded, tugging on his trousers. He gave her a teasing grin and she rolled her eyes, showing that she was very unamused but his gesture by grabbing his wounded leg with her nails.

 

“Shit!” Izaya couldn’t help the small tears that prickled at his eyelids for a few seconds. He let his arm fall across his face as he tilted his head back, breathing through the pain. “Bitch….”

 

“Serves you right. now, do as I said” Izaya seethed as he sat up and removed his trousers, wincing as he tugged them over his knee, having to pull a little harder when the fabric had begun to stick to his skin. Namie sighed and coaxed him to turn on his stomach, so that she could clean the wound properly. At first glance it looked bad, what with all the blood covering his leg, but once she started to clean around the wound, she was actually relieved to find it wasn’t as bad as she thought. There was a small hole that had clotted a little, she cleaned the wound directly with pure alcohol. Izaya flinched and gripped the pillow he was laying on, but he didn’t voice his pain. “What on earth were you stabbed with?”

 

Izaya chuckled a little through clenched teeth. “A screwdriver, he threw it at me when I tried to jump off the roof of the house”

 

“And why was that?”

 

“At first I thought he wanted to kill me. He had a sharp sword after all. But his efforts were directed more at the ruins, the roof collapsed from under me and I blacked out”

 

Namie let out an annoyed grunt as she started to bandage his leg. “He’s going to have you killed Izaya. You need to back off”

 

Izaya sat up once she was done, wincing as he tested the movement in his leg. “He’s scared that’s all. He knows I’m onto him. He’s connected to the one Shizu-chan’s brother is dating”

 

Namie blinked in surprise, before returning to her task of cleaning around his head wound. “How do you know?”

 

“Because Kasuka called me, asking for my help. It turns out, that she has a stalker, who happens to be part of the dollars. It wouldn’t have taken Yodogiri long to link me with them. If he’s as good as I suspect he is, then he’ll know I’ll be the first one they would come to”

 

Namie understood “Because of your relationship with Shizuo”

 

“Yes” Izaya frowned, though he wouldn’t show it right now, but he was getting worried for Shizuo’s and Mai’s safety. The closer Izaya got, the closer it led him to those he cared about. Now that Shizuo’s brother was involved, it wouldn’t be long before they decided Shizuo was a bigger threat then they thought. They wouldn’t just pin him for murder this time, they would kill him. _Good luck_ Izaya knew damn well that Shizuo was a hard person to take down, but they wouldn’t have to try all that hard if they were smart enough, Shizuo would be vulnerable if they used Mai. _Mai_ Izaya shook his head, causing Namie to stop her ministrations.

 

“Something wrong?”

 

Izaya smiled a little “Just your hospitality” he joked, she huffed but didn’t rebuke him this time. The frown appeared back on his face. If he got to Yodogiri soon, then he wouldn’t have to worry about them going after Mai, or Shizuo.

 

 

…………………….

 

“Focus. It’s ok, you can do it” Izaya said softly as he watched with a small frown on his face, he was sat on a stool, his leg hanging over the edge enough that it wasn’t uncomfortable. The large room was something of a hideout he’d made, though it wasn’t the reason why he was here, he’d made it into a kind of-adventure ground. There was a climbing wall toward the back, there were walls of all different sizes around the area, some walls had poles sticking out of them. On the left hand side, was a long strip of carpet, and at the end was four round target boards, each bigger than the last. Mai was currently at the other end of the carpet strip; she was wearing a small light pink and grey tracksuit. Izaya almost laughed at the little determined expression on her face as she practically glared at the boards. “Mai, relax” Mai’s frown lightened, and she took a deep breath. “Whenever you’re ready, no rush, and just be careful”

 

For the last three weekends that Izaya had spent with Mai, he’d been teaching her some of his defence skills. They had started off light, cardio and strength exercises to strengthen her small body’s muscles. Izaya knew it was dangerous, but ever since he was attacked on the roof, he feared for his daughter’s safety. He explained the dangers to her, and she was smart enough to know when she could use them, and when she couldn’t. Mai was very excited and very eager to learn all that he was willing to teach her. Izaya wanted her to want to learn, he didn’t want to force her, which is why he wasn’t overly harsh with her, unless he needed to be.

 

“Just like I showed you. hit the bigger targets first, then see if you feel confident enough to move on to the smaller ones”

 

“K” wrapping her fingers around the handle of the blade, she moved her arm back and flicked her wrist. The knife swished through the air and landed a few centimetres from the target board, embedding itself into the floor instead. Mai sighed with disappointment.

 

“Don’t get discouraged. That was a good first try, you were close to them. There are several knives in your pocket, so try again”

 

Mai nodded and flicked a blade out to the side, and it skidded across the ground. She pouted and tried again, and again; each knife, either didn’t quite make it to the board, or it did and bounced off it. Izaya winced as Mai stomped her foot and slumped to the floor. “I suck!” he raised an eyebrow and chuckled, not having the heart to scold her for the little comment. He hopped off the stool and made his way over to her, he ignored the slight ache in his leg as he bent down next to her.

 

“You just started. You didn’t expect to get them all right away did you? practice makes perfect” Izaya smiled at her as she looked at him with tearful eyes. “Don’t be upset, you’re doing fine”

 

Mai huffed and then nodded “Can you show me again?”

 

Izaya chuckled and stood up with her, he motioned for her to stand behind the red line. He gathered all the blades from the floor and took his position at the second red line. “All right, watch closely”

 

Mai smiled widely “K!”

 

Izaya threw the blades with quick precision, they sped through the air and thudded against the boards strongly. Each one hitting the middle circle, on every single board. Izaya grinned, somewhat impressed with himself. _I haven’t lost my touch it seems_ he turned to Mai, who was clapping and jumping up and down.

 

“Yay!” Mai ran forward and proceeded to collect the knives from the boards, she then ran back to the red line. “Can I try again?”

 

“You try as many times as you want to” Izaya made his way back to sit on the stool. “Try to put a little more force into your throws, as well as speed. You might have noticed that last knife you threw hit the board, but there wasn’t enough strength in it to stick”

 

“Oh. K” Mai threw her arm back, but the knife slipped from her fingers and flew backwards. Izaya watched it zip past and embed itself into the wall behind them. Mai turned around, a small sheepish smile on her face. “Whoopsie”

 

Izaya raised an eyebrow at the knife and slightly chuckled “Well, at least it stuck” he then turned to her, trying to be serious. “You need to be more careful though. Just make sure you’ve got a firm grip, ok?”

 

Mai nodded, a more serious expression on her face as she turned back to face the boards. She breathed out deeply and flicked her wrist, the knife cut through the air and dug into the target around the first outer circle. Mai’s eyes widened and she squealed in happiness. “I did it! I did it!” she jumped up and down in a circle. “Yay!”

 

Izaya actually couldn’t believe it. she done it on her second try, granted, on a large board just at the edge, but still. “Good job!” he clapped. “I’m proud of you”

 

“He he” she grinned at him, and Izaya gave her a warm smile, she was seven now, and even though that may sound so young, he was so very proud of her. She was his and Shizuo’s miracle. Izaya regretted a lot of things in his life, but the decision to raise her as his-their daughter, wasn’t one of them.

 

 

……………………..

 

Within the second weekend that followed after, Mai had improved her throwing skills a lot faster than Izaya thought she would. He knew she didn’t have the benefits of practicing during the week, because Shizuo was actually unaware of these little training schedules. Izaya knew how he’d feel about them, and if he was honest, even he still thought that Mai might be too young. However, given how well he had picked up the skills when he was a young teen, he figured, since Mai was even younger, she might be able to learn even faster than he did. Izaya had been right, so he was confident to continue her lessons. Shizuo might figure it out eventually, but Izaya knew him well enough that he wouldn’t mind if Mai learned some self-defence. The raven’s heart clenched, the way it always did whenever his thoughts wandered to his ex-lover, even those two hyphenated words still sounded foreign in his head, let alone saying them aloud.

 

Each knife stuck into the boards, just a little off their target in the middle. “Look it! Iz-nii! Look look!”

 

Izaya snapped out of his daze and glanced over at the boards. “That’s great Mai! You’re doing amazing”

 

Mai turned to him and ran over as she jumped up and down. “Can we do some parkour now? can we can we?”

 

Izaya raised an eyebrow at down at her. “Are you sure you feel ready enough?”

 

Mai nodded eagerly “I been doing lots of exercises at home!”

 

He tilted his head, wondering how she’d kept that hidden, as far as he was aware, she hadn’t been able to. “Is that so?”

 

“Yep! Grandma Miko helps me when Daddy is at work”

 

Izaya blinked in surprise and then knelt down to her eye level. “Mai. Did you tell her?”

 

“Nah ah. She always does exercises in the afternoons; she says that even though she’s not as young. She got to always keep fit”

 

Izaya chuckled, it sounded like Namiko all right. Mai definitely had picked up his intelligence at some point, seeing Namiko exercise was probably the perfect opportunity to practice without any of them thinking it was nothing but curiosity. _My clever little human_

 

“She also says that she’s gotta keep up with Grandpa. Cause he still got moves. What does that mean Iz-nii? Does that mean he exercises too?”

 

Izaya coughed slightly as he stood up. “Uh. Yeah, that’s right. I guess” _I really didn’t need to know that_ “So, are you ready?”

 

Mai nodded with excitement. Izaya walked over to a smaller wall, his leg was healed by now, so he was grateful that he could give her some demonstrations. While it had been some time since he had to use his parkour skills, he was confident enough in himself. It was as if it came naturally to him, he jumped up and tilted himself sideways, his legs carrying him quickly as he ran across the short wall and landed with ease on his feet at the end. He looked back at Mai, he chuckled, her face was quite a picture. “Wow!” he placed his hands in his jacket, thoroughly amused by her overly impressiveness. “And I can do that?”

 

“That’s the first thing I want you to learn. It might not look that hard, but I would think for someone as small as you, the wall probably looks a lot more intimid-” he looked at her, her head tilted with a blank look on her face. _I’m talking to a seven year old_ he thought, almost forgetting that important detail. “Ah. Bigger, a lot bigger than you, then what it is to me” Mai nodded, now she understood, Izaya sighed; he briefly wondered whether this was such a good idea after all. He wanted her to have a childhood, and he was worried that by showing her all this, whether he might be taking that away from her. Izaya knelt down beside her. “Mai. I don’t want to do any of this if you don’t want to. If at any point you want to stop and- and just go to the park or, do anything else, we can do that”

 

Mai smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his neck, Izaya was surprised by the sudden hug. “I like doing this. It’s really fun, and I get to spend lots of time with you”

 

Izaya smiled, pushing her back slightly to look at him. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

 

“Uh huh. Cause I love you…and, and I don’t get to see you lots…” Mai suddenly looked down at the ground, shuffling her feet. Izaya felt a stab of guilt in his chest, he pushed some of her hair behind her ears, it seemed to be getting longer now.

 

“I’m sorry Mai” Mai looked up at him, with tearful eyes. “You know that I love you right? and I know that I work a lot, but I do treasure the times we have, and I only work so much to- to make sure you’re safe….”

 

Mai closed the gap between them again, burying her face in his shirt. She didn’t understand hardly anything about what he truly did in his job, all she was aware of, was that he found out things people wanted to know. somehow though, she knew he did a lot more then that, whatever he did, she was old enough to understand that when he said he’d make sure she was safe, that was a true fact. “Daddy says it’s dangerous…”

 

Izaya sighed. They really couldn’t keep shielding her from everything, otherwise, she was going to find out in the worst possible ways; like when they got attacked by Sato-in their own apartment! “He’s right” Izaya wasn’t ignorant, of course he knew his job was dangerous, especially in the recent months. However, he had been so focused on tracking Yodogiri’s whereabouts, and teaching Mai her new skills, that he really hadn’t much time to except other jobs from people. After the incident on the roof, Izaya backtracked himself to a safe distance, he decided to follow someone else instead, it kept him tuned into Jinnai’s business; but at the same time, kept him just far enough that the man wouldn’t know he was being tracked. He had Satoshi to thank for that, the man seemed happy that Izaya had slowed his progress, and he was more then happy to help him keep tabs on the other. The one that had attacked him on the roof that day, he had found to be the same one that was Ruri’s stalker. Knowing where he was, was basically the same as figuring out where Yodogiri was, it might not account for much, but- Izaya inwardly smirked, the nutcase was a lot more careless when it came to covering his tracks.  “Don’t worry though. Iz-nii knows how to take care of himself, right?” Mai looked at him with a smile.

 

“Yep”

 

Izaya returned her smile “That’s right. so,  do you want to give the wall a try?”

 

“Ok!”

 

Izaya stood off to the side, knowing she would most likely ask about parkour soon, he had thick soft mats laid out on the floor across the entire area where the walls were situated. This way, if she fell, she was less likely to be injured at all; that, and Izaya was confident he would be quick enough to catch her. Mai took a deep breath and backed up a few spaces in order to give herself a good running distance. She ran and jumped against the wall, however, the moment her feet touched the wall, she merely rebounded off it and landed on her butt. Izaya flinched, almost waiting for her to start crying.

 

Mai stood up slowly, her eyes were watery, but she didn’t cry; a small pout appeared on her face as she rubbed her backside. “Owey…”

 

Izaya almost chuckled. “Are you all right?”

 

“I hurt my bottom…”

 

He did chuckle then “Well, that’s why the mats are there. don’t think of the wall as a wall, try to imagine it’s a- like another path, except that its-sideways” Izaya berated himself for his poor explanation, it was just that he’d never taught anyone parkour before, he couldn’t very well tell Mai that the reason he learnt was because of Shizuo constantly trying to kill him back in the day. There was also the fact that she was seven, so he had to use words that she would understand. He didn’t necessarily have a teacher for parkour, that was self taught, but he could still remember the first few months of being chased, how surprised he had been at his quick learning curve. Then again, Izaya was already well acquainted with the arts of self defence by then, be it his ability to block attacks, or his skills with a knife. He preferred the latter if he was honest, which was why most of the time he didn’t really have to throw any punches or fight in hand to hand combat. Mai was a different case, she really did have to start from scratch, and being his daughter, he didn’t want to push her with anything more then she asked.

 

Mai tried again, she tried to tilt her body sideways, that didn’t work either; the only difference was that she landed that way instead. He felt she was pushing off the wall, instead of along the wall, which would be when he confused her and told her she could do that after. Mai rubbed her arm, watery eyes looking back at him, he preyed that she didn’t get any bruises after this. “I can’t do it…”

 

Izaya had to admit, she was a lot more resilient then he first thought. He felt bad for underestimating his own daughter; she wasn’t crying because she hurt herself, she was crying because she couldn’t perform what he’d shown her. “You said that about the knives before. and did you do it eventually?” Mai nodded “That’s right, you did. So, like with those, it’s just going to take time” he walked up to her and held his hand out. “I’ve got an idea. You can hold my hand, and I’ll guide you across, it’ll give you a chance to know what the feeling is supposed to be like” Mai looked at him for a moment, trying to decide whether she understood what he meant. She then smiled with a nod, all she had to understand, was that he would hold her hand.

 

“You won’t let go?”

 

Izaya shook his head with a smile. “No I won’t let go. Unless you want me to” With Izaya holding her hand, she felt differently then before, even that simple change, seemed to help. He tightened his grip when she jumped and he ran with her to the end of the wall, he steadied her when she landed on her feet. Mai’s eyes widened. “See? You did it. with my help, but that’s a great start”

 

Mai jumped up and down, still holding his hand. “Yay! Yay! I ran across the wall! I ran across the wall! Did you see?”

 

Izaya chuckled, her excitement filled him with incredible warmth. “I saw”

 

“I felt like I was flying! Is that suppose to happen?”

 

Izaya nodded “Yeah. that sounds about right” She grinned up at him and he ruffled her hair. “Do you want to stop now?”

 

“Nah ah. I wanna carry on”

 

“Well, it’s getting late. So I was thinking we could stop for today and go get something to eat, and then maybe get some ice cream?”

 

Mai’s eyes glinted with happiness “Wow really!?”

 

Izaya nodded “If you want to”

 

She nodded and jumped with joy in her movements, “Race you to the door!” and then she made a dash toward the exit, Izaya following after her, not running nearly as fast as he could have done; he wasn’t going to take that away from her.

 

………………………….

 

Izaya was becoming suspicious of a lot of people lately, more then he usually did before. he was very aware of the fact that his movements were being leaked to a certain someone, Jinnai Yodogiri, to be exact. He just didn’t know who. The problem was, because that sicko was an information broker himself, it would stand to reason that he had his own ways of tracking him, much like Izaya did. The raven wouldn’t like to admit it, but the damn bastard was good. The irony was, that if Izaya stopped contact with the people he was suspicious about, he wouldn’t know it was one of them to begin with. On the other hand, Yodogiri probably had someone clever enough to track him with little evidence, more so then that other moron he’d sent after him before. Izaya couldn’t find any trails this time, and that’s what annoyed him more, it was as if he was literally placing himself exactly where they wanted him, as though he might as well be telling Yodogiri his intentions all along- Izaya’s eyes widened as he stopped pacing along the rooftop he was currently standing on. “Son of a bitch” it couldn’t be, he refused to believe it, it just didn’t make any sense. “Maybe I’m overthinking this…”

 

All of a sudden, he heard a noise off to the side, he glanced over and jumped back as a man appeared quickly in front of him. With no time to react, Izaya was grabbed by his shirt and slammed into the tank behind. He hissed as his back hit the object with incredible force. The world around him grew dark and he was vaguely aware of falling before he blacked out completely.

 

The man grinned as he carried Izaya’s unconscious body down the fire escape, he then shoved him into a car and drove away. A woman stepped out of the shadows and spoke into her phone with a frown. “The car is heading your way; I sure hope you can keep it tailed. I’ll try and keep track of you the best I can, let me know when you’ve stopped”

 

A bald man narrowed his eyes from his position in his car, he watched the strange looking man step up to a small looking apartment room. Izaya looked to be still unconscious from what he could tell, since the raven was slung over the other’s shoulder. A knock on his window drew his attention away. “Mikage. You got here just in time; I’m impressed”

 

Mikage shrugged and then looked up toward the target. “Well. Time to kick some ass and see what the hell is going on”

 

He watched her head toward the two and slowly got out of the car, only to venture around the other side.

 

Mikage cracked her knuckles as she stepped up behind the man a few metres away. “So. Who are you? a lacky for that creep?”

 

The man turned to her, his facial expression changed to one of surprise, and Mikage figured it was because he’d been caught. Out of panic, he threw the raven at her, she rolled her eyes; muttered a slight apology and kicked Izaya back toward him. Confusion set in as he caught the informant, only to drop him as he felt someone tap his shoulder. He spun around and was instantly tazered to the ground. The bald man looked up at her as he tied the man’s hands together behind his back, looking over at Izaya. “Man. Did you have to kick him so hard?”

 

“Kind of. Yeah. he knows he deserves it, from me at least” they shoved the captured man in the boot of his own car for now. “We better get out of here, encase there’s someone else around”

 

…………………………

 

 

 “Still getting into trouble I see” Izaya heard a muffled voice come from beside him, his eyes fluttered open and he noticed unfamiliar surroundings, he turned to the direction of the voice and sat up with a slight wince, damn his back hurt. “Are you ok?”

 

Izaya narrowed his eyes as he swung his legs over the couch, nothing good came from this man being here. “I didn’t ask for your help, nor do I need a bodyguard” he said bitterly, he didn’t quite know why he was so annoyed.

 

“Tell that to her” the man replied, gesturing his thumb to the back wall, where a very familiar woman stood, despite how many years it had been since he last saw or even spoke to her, she hadn’t changed all that much.

 

“Why are you here?” he asked, leaning back against the couch, he eyed her with the same suspicion as he had done with the other.

 

“Relax. I still wanna kick your ass” Mikage sighed then and glanced away from him. “But I don’t want you die either”

 

“That wasn’t debatable. The part about kicking my ass I mean. I have a feeling you’re responsible for some of my bruises” Izaya somewhat grinned as she shrugged, he then frowned. “But that wasn’t what I asked”

 

“Whatever. You going to deny what we had in high school?”

 

Izaya rolled his eyes, she was one of the very few that he let himself get the slightest bit close to; yet he knew that what she felt, was very different to what he felt. He saw her as a partner in crime, she saw him as- Izaya shook his head, that was a long time ago. “Tch. Despite what you thought. Nothing happened between us. At least, not the obvious. You and I both know I took advantage of you”

 

“Bullshit!” Mikage snapped and he found himself feeling a little amused that he could still cause that reaction in her, even now, when he was being completely honest with her, admitting his mistakes.

 

“All right. Maybe not physically-though I would appreciate it, if your over exaggerated brother would stop calling me a fucking rapist every time he sees me” Izaya clenched his fist for a moment, of all the things he’d done in the past, never in his life had he forced himself onto someone, never! It always angered him that someone would even think that, even back when he was a dick, it bothered him. “What I’m talking about is emotionally. I can only apologise for that. But don’t do me any favours, I don’t need your help” Izaya stood up, testing his body’s reactions to the bruises he’d received by stretching. He turned for the door and stopped before replying “But....thank you”

 

“Go to the hospital at least” the man told him, heh, even after all this time, he was still looking out for him, Izaya was aware how the man before him saw himself as his mentor during the time he had started out as an informant. Though he couldn’t conclude that it was that reason he was here now.

 

“Tell me why you’re here first. Why you really helped me” Izaya asked, leaning against the door.

 

“You know why”

 

“I really don’t”

 

“The Awakusu. Actually, more so Akane. She knows what’s been going on. Your sisters explained some things I guess. Plus, Mikiya said he owes you”

 

“I told them I didn’t want anything more to do with the Awakusu” that was the real reason why Izaya was suspicious that Kine was here. Nothing good came from him being here.

 

“He said you might say that. He just wanted to thank you, for giving him a child. He wasn’t very well going to let the godfather of his child get killed or worse”

 

Izaya had to laugh, not because of the reference of himself being a godfather, but the comment after that “What’s worse than getting killed?”

 

“Don’t take this lightly Izaya. We’re well acquainted with Jinnai. We know what he’s capable of. He’s more manipulative then you are, and he will go to great lengths to make sure no one gets in his way”

 

Izaya shrugged knowingly “I know the Awakusu were involved with him at some point. I know he’s not just an information broker. He’s a talent agent. But I know I’m getting close to him, and one way or another he’ll be stopped”

 

“You a cop now?”

 

“No. But Jinnai is the reason why my family is broken. He went after Mai, and Shizuo. I’m not going to just leave him to get away with that”

 

“You’re one man”

 

“I’m a professional. And he’s going to learn I’m not that easy to take down. Besides, I know someone already involved, I’m simply using that to my advantage, he can assume I’m working for him all he wants. Though like you, he’s warning me to stay away. I can take care of myself”

 

“Take the warnings seriously then” Mikage told him with irritation

 

Izaya smiled “Noted”

 

“Izaya” The raven turned back to Kine, who had a very serious look on his face, Izaya had only seen that a few times. “Friends always come and go, but enemies will always appear. Maybe when you least expect it”

 

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

 

“It means-“

 

“I know what the phrase means. Though I think you might have added your own spin on that particular author’s quote”

 

“I forgot how much you read” Kine sighed

 

“What was your point?”

 

“Be careful, I guess. Look, we’re here, if you need us”

 

Izaya didn’t want to believe it, but suddenly, he was all too aware of what Kine was talking about, he grinned though, it would seem that his advantage just became full proof. “A wise man gets more use out of his enemy then a fool from his friend” and with that, he left the apartment, leaving Kine and Mikage to stare after him.

 

“Should we follow?” she asked

 

“No. leave him alone for now, we can’t do anything to help until he asks, he’s stubborn like that”

 

Mikage scoffed “Don’t I know it”

 

Kine looked at her, he didn’t grin or anything, but there was a slight tease in his eyes. “So did you and him really-”

 

Mikage startled and a light blush appeared on her face. “No! not…really, we might have kissed a few times, but I know he was just using me to get where he wanted to be in life. I dropped out of school for him, I had a crush on him”

 

Kine blinked. Looking at her now, he couldn’t imagine her to be like that. “And that rapist comment?”

 

Mikage huffed and gritted her teeth. “My stupid brother. He blames Izaya for my dropping out of school and for the way I turned out. Keeps spouting crap about taking advantage of my innocence, physically or emotionally”

 

“I guess his overreaction is just a sign that he’s looking out for you”

 

Mikage nodded. “Whether I was manipulated by Izaya or not, accusing him of _that_ is beyond ridiculous. I know it bothers Izaya more than he lets on”

 

Kine stood up “He always did hate being accused of something he had no part in. though most of the time, I think he was just sulking that he wasn’t the cause, back then at least”

 

“So what now?”

 

“That’s really his call”

 

……………………..

 

Izaya gritted his teeth, he was angry, no- he was absolutely fuming! He stormed into his apartment and kicked the door shut, he ignored Kine’s request to go to the hospital. He didn’t need to waste their time over some bruises, he had suffered a lot worse than a couple of kicks.  He screamed in frustration, the calmness he had maintained while conversing with the two earlier quickly diminished after leaving them. “I can’t fucking believe it” he hissed and kicked the bed. “How could I have been so-” he stopped mid-sentence when he heard his phone ring. Sighing, he took it out, breathing deeply to calm down. He saw the name flash up on his phone, Erika. “Why is she calling me?” he answered, trying to keep any irritation out of his voice. “What is it? I’m kind of-” Izaya paled “W-what? When?” Izaya looked at the clock “An hour ago?” he listened to Erika’s frantic voice. “I-Is he ok? what did the doctors say?” and then his anger returned, he told her that he’d come by tomorrow. His friend, who he had known since high school, had been run over and was now in a coma. _Dotachin_ glancing at his phone when an email came through, he opened it.

 

**Maybe now you’ll take the warnings seriously. next time, it could be someone much closer to you**

Izaya’s phone slipped from his hand and he let it clatter to the floor. Because of him, it was because of him that Dotachin was- Izaya clenched his fist and howled in anger, he punched the mirror so hard that it shattered into pieces. Hatred burned in his eyes, amongst the tears of anger. So the bastard was going after his friends now? he didn’t know who the hell had attacked him earlier, and he really didn’t give a fuck. He was dealt with anyway. “You’ll pay. I’ll fucking find you and you’ll be one sorry old man, along with that traitor”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> I want to mention, that the idea of Mai learning some parkour and knife throwing was inspired by a fellow reader, Serinji :)


	10. Reconciliation.....too late

Izaya made his way through the large sliding doors, he’d been here too many times to count; mostly for his own health. So much so, that every staff member probably knew him without the need for identification. The familiar shiny floors guided his feet toward the reception desk without a single moment of hesitation, nor did he spare a glance to any of the people that were sitting in the waiting room. He had his hands in his pockets of the jacket that he was still so fond of-however different the reasons behind that was now- Shizuo, he had this made for him, and it was the last item that connected him to a life that he suspected he’d never have again. Except the ring, which was still situated on his nightstand; his own however, was comfortably nestled against his chest, tucked away within the confides of his one size too big shirt. Izaya idly fiddled with the cold steal blade inside his right pocket as he leant against the desk, watching with only mild interest over the people across from him, while he waited for the woman behind the desk to finish her phone call and actually notice him.

 

Izaya wondered when it was that he lost himself, that he no longer found the humans as interesting as he used to; like the middle aged man that was sat to the left of him, hands shaking as he typed on his phone and glanced at the clock almost every ten seconds. The woman three rows to the back, that was hugging herself as she glanced around nervously, she was wearing a blue gown, so she was a patient. When did any of them become just a person among the crown going about their day? Years ago, izaya would have jumped at the chance to further pry into their lives. Even despite his still obvious gift at picking those that would serve to entertain-quite possibly even relate- his expression didn’t display the same notion, because he simply didn’t care.

 

When did they become the same? When did they stop being interesting as individuals and more of a blur of people within the same category; when did _he_ become just like them?

 

He figured it started around the time they had “adopted” Mai. That he started seeing how truly precious human life really was, only to have that ripped away from him by that same race. To have his heart clutched so tightly and then his life shattered into pieces, scattered across the city as he and Shizuo’s life together ended. Each broken piece held by all these different people, one’s that they held close to them, their friends and family. Izaya didn’t have the strength in order to take back those pieces each of them held and put them back together. Mai, she held the biggest piece of all, their love.

 

The woman clicked the phone back into place and finally looked up to give the raven her attention. Even though by now, his was elsewhere, far into a world where nothing was wrong, where he and Shizuo still gazed at one another with intense passion, with silent words and subtle touches. A world where Mai was safe and had them both in the apartment, along with everything they had built for themselves. “Mr Orihara?” and Izaya blinked, and the world he’d escaped to shattered once more.

 

Izaya let out a sigh as he turned his attention back to the receptionist, to the woman that was sitting down, looking at him with mild curiosity and if he wasn’t mistaken, some kind of amusement too, probably from the fact he’d spaced out just now. He knew the look, could place it in a heartbeat, it was the same look he used to give people during his observation days, when he wanted to be involved in everyone’s lives. Now the only one whose life he wanted to be involved in, was the one that had his heart and wasn’t letting it go, keeping it locked away with their own, somewhere in the city.

 

 

“Sorry” Izaya spoke, an apologetic smile gracing his features, though forced as it were, he turned his body to face her, she returned the smile and chuckled lightly. “How is he?” he didn’t think he needed to address the person he’d asked about, since this wasn’t the first time he’d been to visit his friend in the last month. Izaya had just been thankful that his timed visits had allowed him to avoid those he’d rather not see; let he start to feel guilty about what happened to Kadota.

 

The woman nodded and typed something into her computer, she smiled before turning back to him. “He’s awake now”

 

Izaya blinked in surprise and he couldn’t stop the smile, or the sigh of relief. “Thank you” as he was about to make his way to the double doors that would lead him to his friend, the receptionist stopped him.

 

“Oh. Mr Orihara?” Izaya turned back to her, a hand already resting on the door “I just thought you’d like to know that he’d been moved to warn two, floor one”

 

“Ah. Thank you” he chuckled lightly “That would have been awkward”

 

She nodded with a laugh of her own and he left to make his way to his new destination.

 

………………

 

Kadota turned his head to the side when someone stepped  into his room. He sat up a little, propped up with the support of pillows. Izaya smiled at him and made his way slowly into the room, crossing the distance between the doorway and the bed. “How are you?” Izaya asked quietly as he sat himself at the end of the bed. Kadota looked at him carefully, it had been sometime since he’d seen him, and he could tell how much anguish the raven had been through, just from that simple question, he sounded utterly defeated. Izaya wasn’t looking at him directly either. “I came by a couple of times, when you were still unconscious…”

 

Kadota blinked in surprise at this statement, he didn’t think anyone apart from his ‘van gang’ had been in to see him, at least, not while he’d been unconscious. “Thanks. You didn’t have to”

 

Izaya frowned “I did” Kadota watched him clench his fists in his lap, he glanced at his face and sighed

  
“What’s up Izaya? I know things have been rough lately, since you and Shizuo split up. How’s Mai doing?”

 

“It’s my fault” Izaya blurted out, as though he wasn’t even listening to what Kadota had been saying.

 

“What is?”

 

“All of it. it’s my fault that Shizuo left me, it’s my fault that Mai has been exposed to dangerous situations” Izaya looked at him, guilt written in his eyes “Its my fault that you’re here”

 

Kadota frowned then, and suddenly, Izaya looked extremely fragile “What are you talking about?”

 

Izaya stared down at the floor “You’re here because of me. Because I’m a selfish, stubborn piece of shit that thought he could handle anything by himself. That he didn’t need anyone’s help, or think to trust the one he loved to help him through whatever was happening, didn’t think it might effect anyone else as long as he remained discreet”

 

Kadota waited a few more seconds to see if Izaya was finished and then he scoffed a little “Sounds like you’ve been hanging onto that one for a while”

 

Izaya huffed a laugh that sounded bitter and quite frankly, tired. “You might be right Dota-chin. Why is it though, that I told you that of all people?”

 

Kadota shrugged “Don’t know. maybe you needed a long-time friend who knows you well, or maybe you just couldn’t hold it in anymore” Izaya sighed heavily and he was about to get up to leave and then- “I’m all ears you, so talk, from the beginning” Izaya looked over at him in surprise “I’ve got plenty of time”

 

And all of a sudden, Izaya felt more alive then he had in months. A spark lit within him and before he knew what was happening, he was telling Kadota everything, from the first set of threatening emails, right up until this point. His depression that Namie insisted that he had-only now just admitting that it might be true-about the guy he slept with-that had truly been the last act that ended his nine year relationship. About the attacks that came from his apartment and the one outside Ruri’s old home. He didn’t know he felt this hurt and angry over everything until he was saying it all out loud. Sometimes, you just need a neutral friend to talk to.

 

Kadota simply stared at his old classmate from Raira in shock, he honestly had no idea what they’d been going through. He felt the emotional strain just radiating off the broken man sitting on his bed. “Wow” what else could he say? This was the first time he’d ever seen Izaya so open, he only imagined Shizuo as being the only one to see this rare side of him. Speaking of- “So that’s how and why you broke up. Sounds to me that you take full responsibility for that, like it’s all your fault”

 

Izaya frowned, teeth gritting together “It _is_ my fault”

 

“You know, everyone’s been worried about you. before my accident, Shizuo said that he hasn’t seen you in ages”

 

“That’s for the best. He shouldn’t have to see the state I’ve allowed myself to get into. It’s bad enough that Mai should see it, but I couldn’t stop seeing her, she’s too important to me”

 

So is Shizuo, right?”

 

Izaya inclined his head, bangs that were longer than Kadota remembered, fell across his eyes. “I fucked it up. Just like I knew I always would, be it now, or some other time in our future” he clenched his fists “All because I couldn’t let him in, after all these years, I still couldn’t do it. because I thought that hiding would protect them, when all I really was doing was pushing away”

Kadota sighed, he honestly felt bad for the raven, and he wanted to give him some kind of comfort. But he knew that what Izaya really needed, was a nudge, someone to agree with him and be direct. “You fucked up. Not for the first time, and probably not the last either. So fix it”

 

Izaya shook his head “I can’t, even if I wanted to, it’s too late”

 

“You’re giving up then”

 

“I gave up when he gave me his ring”

 

“No, you gave up when he walked out the first time and took Mai with him. You gave up when you got drunk and slept with someone. You can keep running and wallowing in all this self-hatred, but if I’m right, it’s been Shizuo to come back to you all the time. Didn’t you say that he would have stood by you had you have told him what was happening in the first place?”

 

Izaya closed his eyes, regret filling his heart “Yes”

 

“And didn’t he come to you with the intentions of getting back with you?”

 

Izaya sneered and huffed “And I broke his heart”

 

“You did. But yours already was. Shizuo knows deep down you didn’t cheat”

 

“That doesn’t make it ok”

 

“No it doesn’t, but it’s something. You have both been through too much together to just quit on each other now. Izaya, you’ve put your life at risk several times to keep him safe, and I know he’d do the same for you in a heartbeat” ignoring the strain that his injuries caused his body, Kadota leaned forward and grabbed a fistful of Izaya’s shirt and pulled him close. “So stop hiding like a coward, let down your god damn walls and get back the only one you’ve loved!

 

Izaya’s eyes were wide, and it was as if his mind had been cleared of all the painful thoughts drifting in and out of his skull. There was a clear path set a new in front of him, and he only saw Shizuo at the end of it. he was all Izaya ever wanted, and his biggest regret was that it took him all this time to see what truly mattered. “I- I know what to do now, I don’t want to run anymore”

 

Kadota winced as he lay back against his pillows, breathing a sigh of relief. “Finally” he gave Izaya’s leg a kick through the thin hospital sheets “Now get the hell out of here and fight for him, make him see how much you still love him”

 

Izaya nodded and he stood up, to hell with the danger, to hell with that fucking Jinnai, right now, all he cared about was his family. He’d deal with those that wanted them dead, once Shizuo was back by his side. _Where he belongs_ Izaya all but bolted out of the room, he was going to get Shizuo back, no matter what it took.  As he turned the corner out of the room, he almost ploughed into someone. Izaya froze on his feet, his wide eyed gaze stating at the all too familiar mess of blond hair, and the shades tucked into the clasped black waist jacket over a white shirt, tucked into black pants. “S-Shizu-chan….”

 

Shizuo stared in almost the same shock as the raven before him. His eyes began to trace every inch of him, mapping out his all too delicate features, as though he was reassuring himself that it really was Izaya. Shizuo could see the effect their breakup had on his former lover, and the dark circles aligning his eyes on pale skin. How one side of his jacket slipped from a pointed shoulder before being brought back up by long slender fingers. How his hair seemed longer, and how his shirt was baggy, not skin-tight like it used to be. despite the belt that was pulled in tightly, his dark pants were loose, dragging around his hips. The only reason he knew it was truly Izaya, was when he stared into unique crimson eyes.

 

“I-” Izaya started to say, but seeing Shizuo here, so suddenly, all confidence and everything he wanted to say left him feeling vacillating. Izaya looked away, his gaze cast down to the floor. “I was just leaving”

 

Shizuo watched him sidestep and walk past him, the raven was going to disappear again and Shizuo didn’t think his heart could handle it anymore. He clenched his fists, Izaya needed encouragement it would seem. “I heard you” he stated, knowing that simple statement would be enough to stop Izaya before he took the chance to bolt. “What you said, I heard it all”

 

Izaya turned around, looking at Shizuo’s back with astonishment “A-all of it?”

 

Shizuo turned to meet his gaze, expecting nothing less then the gaping expression he was receiving. “I was just coming in to see Kadota. I realised he was with someone, and I didn’t wanna intrude. Didn’t take me long to know it was you, but I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop”

 

Izaya was still somewhat at a loss of what to say, Shizuo was right in front of him, standing there, giving Izaya the exact opportunity he needed to confess everything. “I-”

 

Shizuo frowned, but it wasn’t in anger, it was concern; he’d never known Izaya to be so at a loss for words. “Izaya-”

 

Izaya clenched his fists and chewed on his bottom lip “I’m-I’m sorry….” Damn, he knew he owed the blond a hell of a lot more then that. “God….why is this….so hard”

 

Shizuo’s eyes softened, he could see the internal struggle Izaya was having with himself. They’d been through hell, living without Izaya this whole time had been the most miserable moments of his life. Clearly it had taken it’s toll on the raven even more so than him. Shizuo wasn’t quite sure if he was even angry anymore, he just couldn’t stand seeing Izaya the way he was. How long had he been like this? Days? Months? Everything that he was displaying was just a reflection of how he was feeling. Shizuo realised neither of them had said anything in the last few minutes, but Izaya hadn’t run yet. The blond felt strong emotions bubbling to the surface, god, he missed him, he didn’t realise how much until he first heard his voice. When he first appeared from the room, stumbling into him. “Let me make things easier” he said, his voice breaking. Because Izaya sucked at explaining his feelings and Shizuo just stuttered out words that hardly ever made sense.

 

Izaya flinched, he had a feeling this wasn’t going to work how he wanted it, he knew it was all too late, he’d hurt Shizuo too much. _I have to get out of here_ Izaya turned to leave, facing the empty corridor.

 

“Don’t!” flinching again, Izaya didn’t make a move to run, but he didn’t turn around either. “Look at me” Hearing Shizuo’s voice soften caused his heart to clench, he didn’t know how much he’d missed that husky sound directed toward him. “Please Izaya” and this time, Izaya did. He turned fully to his attention with a mixed gaze of confusion and curiosity. Shizuo began to walk toward him with slow paced steps. Izaya took a step back, unsure what to expect.

 

Before Izaya could take another step back, Shizuo was right in front of him. “Stubborn flea” Shizuo told him softly, Izaya’s eyes grew wide and he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, and all of a sudden, Shizuo closed the gap between them. Izaya all but gasped as a reaction. Their lips met and he could have sworn sparks of electricity shot straight down his spine from the back of his head.

 

“S-Shit…” hearing Izaya’s curse of surprise, he figured that the raven felt the exact same thing that he’d felt. Using the opportunity of Izaya’s parted lips, Shizuo pressed forward slowly, a subtle question on his tongue as it darted from his mouth to flick across Izaya’s. Izaya granted him access almost immediately, their tongues clashed and Shizuo rested his hands on Izaya’s arms. After another minute, they pulled away, slightly panting form their ministrations. “Shizu-chan….” Izaya breathed out as he looked up into Shizuo’s- loving gaze? Was this really happening?

 

Shizuo smiled at him, removing one of his hands to cup Izaya’s face in order to rub his thumb lightly over the corner of Izaya’s eye, wiping away a tear. “I missed you, so much, I didn’t think I’d ever get to be this close to you again”

 

Izaya chewed his bottom lip and his hands hesitantly found their way around Shizuo’s neck. “What-what does this mean, Shizu-chan?” he felt like his heart was going to explode.

 

Shizuo leaned forward again and pressed his lips to Izaya’s for another heart stopping minute before pulling back. “It means I love you, and I’m never letting you go again”

 

Izaya’s breath hitched, unsure whether he really heart that right just now. his hands tightened against the back of Shizuo’s jacket. “You-you’re serious?”

 

Shizuo wrapped his arms around Izaya’s small frame and pulled him close “I’ve never been more serious. This is it Izaya, no more hiding, no more secrets, no more walls. I’m here for you, just let me, and we’ll figure this all out together. We’ll fight whoever we have to, just stop hiding”

 

Izaya sighed against him in relief, his head burying into Shizuo’s chest. “Ok” he said at last, and it was as if the broken pieces were being pulled in from all directions and sliding back together, all but the piece Mai had. “I love you, Shizu-chan” that piece would soon be mended, once they’d told her about their reconciliation. “I’m so sorry….I missed you so much”

 

Shizuo’s hold tightened when he felt Izaya tremble against him. “It’s ok, we’ll be all right now” they stayed like that for a while, neither one willing to let the other go. “My parent’s won’t mind looking after Mai after school” Shizuo smiled when Izaya pulled back to look at him. They had along way to go to gain each other’s full trust again, but Izaya smiled anyway.

 

“Come over later? We can-have dinner, and talk”

 

Shizuo’s smiled was warm. “Taking it slow”

 

Izaya nodded, and he reached up to give Shizuo a long kiss before saying “Seven, I’ll be home”

 

Shizuo touched Izaya’s face, fingertips brushing strands of hair from his eyes. “Seven” he repeated the number back with affection.

 

 

………………………..

 

Izaya reached the floor of his apartment, he took out his phone after hearing it bleep. Izaya smiled, reading the message he’d received as he made his way through the corridor.

 

:See you soon, I love you xxx:

 

Izaya was about to type a reply when he noticed that his door was ajar, and the latch was broken. Frowning, he placed his phone back in his pocket and pulled out his knife. He slowly tapped the door with the blade, pushing it open and taking few cautious steps inside. There was no sign of immediate danger, he stepped forward again. There was a loud click to his right, and Izaya all but froze when he felt something press against his temple. “You had enough warnings Izaya, it’s over, no more chances, you lose”

 

Cold fear swept over and down his spine, and suddenly his life flashed before him. Shizuo at the forefront of his thoughts.

 

#################################################

 

_“I want to kiss you louse, I don't know why, I think you can help me” Shizuo claimed._

_“Help yourself, people do that too you know. Just go fuck yourself and let me go” Izaya's expression darkened_

_“I’m not going to harm you fl-Izaya, can we just try this? Once? One kiss, if you really don't want to then, I will let you go, I won't hurt you” Shizuo tried to reassure the man in front of him. When Izaya didn't respond, Shizuo took a chance and stepped forward. He neared the informant until they were inches apart, the blade of Izaya's knife right at the blond’s throat._

_Shizuo held Izaya's wrist as gently as he could and moved his arm to the side, moving the knife away from him. This was his only shot, all his anger, it had been mostly directed toward Izaya, it just had to be him; it felt stupidly right. Shizuo placed his other hand on the wall beside Izaya's head and leaned in. He kissed him again, this time, Izaya was expecting it. Maybe it was the shock the first time, because Izaya made no move to push him away. After a minute Shizuo pulled away, trying to read the expression on his face. They were both blushing a little “I hate you, Shizu-chan” completely dropping the knife, Izaya fisted his hands into Shizuo's shirt and pressed his lips to the blond’s with a little more force. After another two minutes, they pulled away for air, Izaya picked up his blade and placed it back in his pocket. He pecked Shizuo on the cheek whilst grinning; “It's our secret Shizu-chan!”_

_##############################_

_“I want you...Shizu-chan” Izaya breathed out, Shizuo moved his hand and gently put his two lubed fingers into Izaya's hole. “Aah..”_

_Shizuo stopped “Did I hurt you?” he asked in a panic._

_“No...move your hand against me” as soon as Shizuo did as told, Izaya threw his head back. Getting used to the situation quickly, Shizuo added a third finger causing the informant to arch against him raking his fingers hard across his back. Izaya moved one hand and began stroking Shizuo's hardened member. “I’m ready....for you...Shizu-chan..” Izaya said almost desperately. Shizuo nodded nervously, removing his fingers and placing himself at Izaya's entrance. “Don't be nervous...it's ok” Izaya assured him._

_Shizuo slowly pushed into him until he was fully inside, Izaya gripped the couch, Shizuo was bigger than he thought. He let out a small whimper, Shizuo kissed him and waited until Izaya was comfortable with him. “A-are you ok? Izaya...? Shizuo asked, Izaya nodded slowly and wrapped his legs around his body._

_“Move inside me...go slow” Izaya told him. Shizuo did as requested and began moving in and out in slow strokes._

_“Aaah...Shizu-chan....don't stop” the two kissed as he continued to move inside him._

_“Just tell me what you want...Izaya” Shizuo said almost breathlessly._

_“Move faster now” Shizuo began to speed up, moving one hand to stroke Izaya “Oh...gooood, aahh..” Izaya gasped with pleasure “Harder!” he demanded. Shizuo slammed into him more roughly, moaning in pleasure at the feeling. His hand continued to stroke Izaya's erection, listening to the pleasure sounds his partner was making. “faster!...” Shizuo pushed into him deeper, thrusting in and out faster as told. He grabbed the informant hard at the sides with both hands as they moved with each other._

_“Ngh...watch-watch your strength Shizu-chan” Izaya tried to tell him, Shizuo was in too much pleasure to be able to listen and Izaya was in too much bliss to particularly care at that point._

_“I can't hold out..much longer” Shizuo breathed out as he pounded into him a little more_

_“A little...more” Shizuo gripped onto him tighter with the last few strokes, Izaya winced a little and kissed Shizuo to try and ignore the ache in his sides. With one last thrust, Shizuo came inside him, releasing himself as he threw his head back with a roar of pleasure. Izaya came shortly after, his seed spilling on their chests. Shizuo released his grip on Izaya and removed himself from his ass and kissed the informant tiredly._

_“T-thank you...that was, amazing” Shizuo said. Izaya smiled at him, Shizuo didn't think he'd ever see a real smile on his face, not a smirk or a sinister grin, a real smile._

_##############################_

 

 

_“Move in with me” Shizuo fell silent. His mouth opened but nothing came out. “You look like a fish. And I went to such effort” although the blond’s expression was rather funny_

_“You- you want me to....Izaya-that's- I thought-”_

_“You practically live here anyway. When was the last time you actually went back to yours?”_

_“But- I thought you wouldn't want- it's just that I was under the impression you didn't care for traditions much”_

_“Sometimes. I don't think moving in together counts as a tradition”_

_“Well. The way you asked me certainly wasn't normal”_

_“It was more fun this way”_

_“For you”_

_Izaya shrugged and then placed his hand against Shizuo's chest. “Is that a yes?”_

_Shizuo grinned “Yes”_

 

#################################

 

_“I win” Izaya said, his breath showing in the cold night air._

_“I let you”_

_“Sure you did” Izaya leaned down and kissed him. “Merry Christmas. Shizu-chan”_

_“Merry Christmas Izaya” They kissed for another minute and then Shizuo felt Izaya shiver a little against him. “Cold?”_

_“No. Freezing”_

_Shizuo laughed and then stood up, holding out his hand for Izaya. The informant took it and brushed the snow off from himself, he then turned and jumped on Shizuo's back. “Seriously?”_

_“I'm tired”_

_“You're such a child”_

_Izaya poked his tongue out._

_They got back into the warm apartment, Izaya made his way to the kitchen to make more coco after they'd changed into more nightwear. Shizuo stood at the kitchen archway, one hand behind his back. “Izaya?”_

_Izaya turned around with two steaming mugs, one adorning whipped cream and chocolate shavings, Shizuo's favourite of course. Izaya placed them on the table when he saw the blond looking a little embarrassed. “Hiding something?”_

_“No.”_

_“No? Then why is your hand behind your back hm?” Izaya lightly smiled as he walked toward him._

_“It's-not much. But I thought it was something you'd like. I guess”_

_Izaya held his hand out “No need for embarrassments”_

_“It's just- I didn't know what else to get and I haven't had time to shop much”_

_“Who cares. I want my present” Izaya curled his hand repeatedly in a 'gimme gimme' motion. He really was a child sometimes._

_Shizuo rolled his eyes, then he revealed a long green box with a red ribbon around it. Izaya took the box, his eyes glinting with excitement as he ran over to the couch with it. Shizuo followed, taking the mugs with him and placed them on the coffee table. He watched with slight amusement as Izaya carefully undid the ribbon and then lifted the lid off. He pulled back the thin paper and lifted the item out of the box. It was a black jacket, similar to his usual favourite he wore, except the fur trim was red._

_“I-hope you like it. I know you said your favourite colours were black and red, I'm positive you don't have this kind” Izaya stared at it. It had been a long time since he'd received any kind of present, least of all something so obviously thought out. He placed the jacket on the table and walked over to Shizuo and kissed him and then buried his face in the crook of Shizuo's neck. “Do you like it?”_

_Izaya grunted as his hands clutched at Shizuo's night shirt. “Thank you.....”_

 

_########################################################_

 

 

_“Shizu-chan?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“This is going to sound a bit odd. If a little cliché”_

_“Ok?”_

_10_

_9_

_8_

_7_

_6_

_Izaya stood away from the blond, taking out a small box from his jacket._

_5_

_4_

_3_

_Izaya knelt down on one knee, opening the box to reveal a gold band. “Will you marry me?”_

_2_

_1_

_Happy new year!_

_Shizuo stared wide eyed down at his partner. He had no words. His throat seemed to close up and his eyes became a little blurred. “I-Izaya....”_

_Izaya tensed, waiting...._

_“Yes. Yes I will”_

_Izaya grinned, slipping the ring on his left finger and then stood up. The fireworks boomed in the background the minute the two kissed._

 

                                                                                               ########################################

 

_“I don’t think either of us want to talk about what happened”_

_Shizuo looked at him and then down at the ground. “I’m sorry, if I hurt you”_

_Izaya lay his head on Shizuo’s shoulder. “Neither of us are to blame. But.....I didn’t mean what I said, back at Shinra’s, you know...when you tried to strangle me”_

_Shizuo snorted “Yeah. Maybe we both said shit, whatever, maybe we deserved it”_

_“Maybe. Still. I’m sorry”_

_“Me too” Shizuo laughed then “We really do get into some serious shit don’t we? I can’t imagine the damage we would have caused, if we’d have gotten along the rest of the time”_

_Izaya smirked “Maybe this is all a way of catching up”_

_“Yeah well. I think we’ve proved that no matter what happens, we can’t be pulled apart”_

_“Alive or otherwise”_

_Shizuo tensed and turned to look at him “I don’t want to think about that. I can’t believe you would-”_

_Izaya smiled “It hurt a lot to let you in, you think I'd be ok letting you go?”_

_“No. I dunno. I didn't think you would do something like that-”_

_Izaya's smile faltered a little “I was scared, of what I might become, given time.....”_

_Shizuo understood what Izaya meant, he wrapped his arms around his small frame, noting he seemed a lot smaller since the last time he held him. “Shit, Izaya, you're fricking bony”_

_Izaya chuckled “Give me a break. I haven't exactly been able to look after myself properly”_

_“What kind of excuse is that? You can still eat. Damn it”_

_“Don't worry so much. I'll be all right, I'm not anorexic or anything”_

_Shizuo shook his head, Izaya always had a hard time taking care of himself, he knew he didn't do it on purpose. But it worried him sometimes. “I know. We really have been through hell this last-what? Nine months?”_

_“Ten. I think”_

_Shizuo growled, clenching his fists in anger “I can't believe we spent almost a year apart like this.....what if I-what if I really ended up hurting you?”_

_Izaya grabbed Shizuo's clenched fist “You didn't. We're ok now. It's really over”_

_“I still don't understand how it all got solved, that part is confusing the hell out of me”_

_Izaya chuckled “I'll explain it better later.....for now-” Izaya lay his forehead against Shizuo's chest, relief flooding him as he heard the strong beat of his heart, Izaya bit back tears, he refused to cry again, he'd had enough of that. “Can we just go home?”_

_Shizuo sighed in relief and wrapped his arms around him “God yes” Shizuo bit back his own tears “I missed you, so damn much”_

_Izaya fisted Shizuo's blue top “I know. But I'm here now. I missed you too”_

_“_ _Izaya and Shizuo, you have both demonstrated your lifelong commitment to one another today. In the presence of your friends, family and witnesses, it gives me great pleasure in declaring that you are now both civil partners to one another. Congratulations”_

_Shizuo grinned, couldn’t hold back anymore and he pulled Izaya into his arms and kissed him with all the emotions he felt for him. Izaya hadn’t expected it, but he wrapped his arms around Shizuo’s neck and deepened their kiss. Those who sat before them stood up, tears forming in their eyes as they clapped._

_“We did it Izaya, we actually did it”_

_Izaya smiled and kissed him again lightly, and then he whispered “I love you, Shizu-chan”_

_Shizuo smiled back, his forehead against Izaya’s. “I love you too, flea…”_

_Izaya chuckled._

_Izaya’s hand threaded softly through the back of Shizuo’s hair as they stopped swaying when the music finished. Shizuo closed his eyes and captured his lips, trying to block out the cheers of their friends and the high-pitched squeal of Erika. “I love you” Shizuo said quietly_

_Izaya huffed a laugh “I hope so, you’re stuck with me for good now”_

_“Forever and always”_

_#################################################_

_“Shizu-chan?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“I was thinking….Mai”_

_Shizuo blinked in confusion “Mai? Who’s Mai?”_

_Izaya huffed a laugh, his eyes were drooping, he was so tired, and the morphine was setting in. “A baby name….our baby”_

_Shizuo’s eyes widened “I-Izaya…., you really want to- I didn’t expect- are you sure that’s not the fever talking?”_

_Izaya shook his head. “Don’t think so…., I know that we can’t adopt her, but, we can raise her as ours?”_

_Shizuo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I have to be dreaming…”_

_Izaya smiled “It’s real. I just- when we were talking about lullaby’s and stories in our room that time. It-for a split second, it felt like she was already part of us”_

_Shizuo tightened his hand around Izaya’s for a moment, emotions welling up in him. “Izaya…”_

_“I’m probably hopped up on morphine, and I probably sound ridiculously sentimental. But, the idea is real”_

_“Won’t people start questioning it?”_

_Izaya smirked “We’ll tell them it’s Namie’s”_

_Shizuo laughed “Won’t she be pleased”_

_Izaya brushed his thumb over Shizuo’s hand. “This is something you want, isn’t it? back when we rescued Akane?”_

_Shizuo nodded “But you said-”_

_“I know. We weren’t parent material, and our jobs were dangerous, and they and we, still are. It feels different this time. I don’t know why. I feel like giving her away now would be wrong”_

_“You really want to do this?”_

_Izaya nodded_

_“Mai. Our daughter, Mai….our daughter”_

_“Good ring?”_

_Shizuo smiled and leaned forward, gently pressing his lips to Izaya’s._

 

Izaya’s eyes clenched, tears prickled under them _Shizu-chan, Mai….._

Then-

 

BANG

 

.....………………………….

 

Shizuo stepped onto the familiar street, heading toward the apartment complex, to the one he used to share with Izaya. He frowned in thought as he pondered on why Izaya hadn’t replied to his message. He shouldn’t be all that worried, it was only an hour and a half ago, he said seven, so Izaya had probably been busy. Shizuo looked at his watch, it was just coming up past seven, Izaya would be home by now anyway, Shizuo trusted him enough with that. he was well aware how much the raven had missed him. “I’ll see him in a few min-” it was then as he looked up, did he spot two sets of flashing blue lights casting over two vehicles, one police, one ambulance. Shizuo’s heart raced, he wouldn’t worry just yet, Izaya wasn’t the only one that lived in that building. despite his vague attempts to keep himself calm, his gut was telling him that something was wrong, and Shizuo broke into a full run. He pushed past the feeble attempts to stop him as the two paramedics tried to do so.

 

With every step he took, his body felt heavy, a sick and cold feeling washing over him. _Izaya, please, for the love of god be ok_ Shizuo gritted his teeth as he stumbled when reaching the top of the stairs. He rounded the corner and stilled when he saw what he’d already suspected, a policeman was stood just outside the apartment. His breathing became heavy, and he ran forward, the last of his energy carrying him. “Izaya!” he called for the raven desperately, catching the officer’s attention.

 

Hearing a loud shout to whom could only belong to Shizuo, Satoshi stepped out from the apartment. Shizuo stopped just before him, he looked at the expression on Satoshi’s face and he felt his entire body go numb. “Shizuo…..I was going to call you from the-”

 

“Where is he!?” Shizuo grabbed Satoshi by the collar

 

“There was a call from one of the residents. Saying they heard a gunshot…..I took the call….and- it looked like there was a break in, I’m- I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

 

Shizuo’s eyes clouded over “You’re lying…”

 

“I wish I was…..It was a fatal blow Shizuo, he- he was shot in the head”

 

Shizuo’s breathing became ragged, he shoved Satoshi backwards “You’re lying!” and before Satoshi could stop him, Shizuo ran past him, the other officer stepped between the door. “Get the fuck out of my way!”

 

The policemen stared at him with fear, he glanced over at Satoshi and the man nodded. “Let him through….” Satoshi said as he stepped behind the blond and the other man stepped to the side with his head inclined in sadness.

 

Shizuo’s body shook as he stepped into the apartment, he turned into the entry way and choked on his sobs. “Izaya…?” Shizuo tried to call out to him as he stumbled forward. “You’re-you’re ok right?.....you’re not…” Shizuo’s eyes clouded over once more when he saw the single gunshot wound on his lover’s temple. Izaya’s eyes were closed, his face lax, it almost looked like he was just asleep. “Please…..tell me you’re ok….” Shizuo collapsed to his knees, his hands shaking as they hovered over Izaya’s still form, his fingers touching delicately over the raven’s face. “Izaya….wake up…..please”

 

A flash of Izaya’s smile toward him entered his mind; he wouldn’t see that smile, wouldn’t hear him laugh, wouldn’t see him walk through the door of this apartment or any other room that Shizuo might be in….

 

Shizuo’s tears streamed down his face, and he pulled Izaya’s body against him. “Izaya!!” Shizuo buried his face into the other’s neck as screams of anguish erupted from his throat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm crying as I type
> 
> I'm so very sorry for any heartache this might have caused
> 
> :( :(


	11. Mourning

Satoshi looked down at the broken form of Shizuo, he didn’t think he’d ever see him like that. Shizuo was still cradling Izaya’s body tightly within his arms, silent tears still running down his face. The officer chewed his lip and stepped forward, kneeling down beside them, he lay his hand on the blond’s shoulder. “Shizuo, I need to call a coroner, and I should tell you that they’ll be an autopsy, plus there’ll be a full examination of the apartment, I can’t do any of that while you’re here”

 

Shizuo flinched, his hold increasing, and then he registered what Satoshi had just told him. Without loosening his hold, Shizuo glared up at him, eyes misty. “Autopsy? The hell do you need an autopsy for!? He was shot in the head! What else do you need to know!?”

 

“Shizuo, it’s procedure, it’s not just to discover how he was killed, it’s to figure out who-”

 

“I know who it was!! And I imagine you have a pretty good idea too, don’t you!?” Shizuo gritted his teeth, anger flashing in his eyes, yeah, Satoshi fucking knew alright.

 

“I’m an officer of the law, I might be a family friend- but, I still have to follow procedure, I know how you-”

 

“Don’t you fucking dare! Don’t you dare tell me you know how I feel! I just got him back!!” Shizuo gasped then, new tears shed as he looked down at Izaya’s form. His body shook and he tried to stop himself from kissing those slightly tinted blue lips, his pale face…..but he couldn’t, “I- I just got you back…” the blond leaned down and gently kissed Izaya’s lips, he clenched his eyes shut as a memory flashed in his mind.

 

_Shizuo grazed his fingertips over Izaya’s hand, careful not to nudge the cannula. He then leaned down and captured Izaya’s lips lightly with his own, as he leaned back up, the raven’s eyes fluttered open, smiling weakly at him._

_Izaya whispered softly, a little teasing edge on his quiet tone “And the sleeping beauty was awakened by his love’s first kiss…”_

_Shizuo chuckled as he rolled his eyes, even when he was pumped with drugs, Izaya was a light sleeper. “His love’s first kiss?”_

_Izaya grinned a little “Last time I checked. I was a guy”_

_“Ah. So naturally you changed the gender” Shizuo then snorted “Sleeping beauty huh?”_

_“Mm hm, naturally”_

_Shizuo smiled and captured his lips again, he then let his head gently rest against Izaya’s forehead, letting out a shaky breath. Izaya smiled and raised his other arm so that his hand could cradle the back of Shizuo’s neck. “Don’t ever do that to me again….”_

_Izaya let out his own shaky breath, he honestly berated himself for his stupidity. Ignoring injuries was one thing, he was used to that, his pain tolerance was something he sometimes prided himself on. But, to ignore obvious health warnings that almost killed him, it wasn’t quite the same, he had a daughter, he had a family; he should know better. “I’m sorry….”_

_Shizuo leaned on his palm, still pressing his head against Izaya’s. “You keep doing this to me….almost slipping away, one day I feel like you’re just going to-”_

_Izaya cut him off, pushing at his shoulder to get Shizuo to look at him. “I promise, I promise that will never happen. I won’t leave you”_

_Shizuo clenched his fist around the sheet. “You can’t make that sort of promise Izaya. Even I can’t do that. Not in the physical sense at least. But….I just, I love you so much, the thought of losing you… it kills me”_

_Izaya sighed, biting his lower lip, he hated seeing his lover like this, Shizuo was stronger than this, stronger than he’d ever be. “I know. I didn’t do this on purpose. If I really had known it was this dangerous, I would have said something, I’m not a complete stubborn idiot, I just- I was so worried about Mai, and then the pain seemed to go away, so I thought that maybe I just had a bit of flu…”_

_Shizuo nodded, he could tell Izaya was being sincere, there was no signs that he was lying. “I know” Shizuo kissed his forehead and then his lips once more. “I know. we were really worried”_

_Izaya nodded, he knew that, it was written all over his partner’s face. “I don’t remember much you know. it’s all a blur, where’s Mai? And I didn’t say anything embarrassing did I? I remember my temperature was rather high”_

_Shizuo shook his head with a chuckle. “Mai is with my parents at the moment, we figured she shouldn’t see you like that, she’s way too young. Though she’s pretty smart, she knew you were sick way before things got worse. Also, you didn’t say much of anything. Just made a smartass joke about pregnancy when Shinra did some scan thing on you. I might have joined in on that”_

_Izaya smiled, suddenly remembering that. “I remember you not being opposed to the idea. Actually, you were excited about it”_

_Shizuo blushed, of course, Izaya would remember that “Shut up” Izaya chuckled. He shifted a little and winced, his eyes shut momentarily as he tried to get comfortable again. “Are you hurting?”_

_Izaya smiled a little “A little. But it’s fine. Antibiotics seems to be doing its job. It’s mainly the incision, nothing I can’t handle”_

_Shizuo rolled his eyes, sometimes his lover was such a masochist. “Yeah. I guess so”_

_Izaya shifted down a little, he felt sluggish, but he refused to sleep. “So. Did you slay the dragon so that you could wake me?”_

_Shizuo blinked in confusion, before realising that Izaya was talking about that fairy tale from earlier. “Damn straight. Though Shinra was hardly a challenge, nor the other doctor”_

_Izaya chuckled “What about a certain other fairy”_

_Shizuo thought for a moment, and then he knew Izaya was talking about Celty. “Ah. Pretty sure, if she’d come with us she’d be the fairy that aids me”_

_“Most likely” Izaya smiled, his eyes half lidded now as he fought against sleep. “Love you, Shizu-chan”_

_Shizuo leaned over and kissed him “Love you too, stubborn flea”_

 

For a few minutes, Shizuo stared at Izaya’s face, almost half expecting him to wake up like he had done countless times before, when Shizuo thought he’d lost him…..but now, now he really had truly lost him, and there wasn’t anything he could do to bring Izaya back. Why? Why did this happen? He began to think if he’d come sooner, or if he’d just told him to pick Mai up with him….

 

Satoshi nudged Shizuo’s shoulder “I need to-”

 

Shizuo choked back his sobs, he couldn’t let Izaya go, he just couldn’t. The very thought of some diener at the morgue, cutting open his beautiful lover-it sickened him, and Izaya would be….all alone, placed in a dark cold chamber. “I- can’t….I don’t want to let him go, let me come with you….please”

 

“You know I can’t allow that Shizuo, I shouldn’t have allowed you to even enter the apartment, it disrupts the evidence” Shizuo shuddered with anger, Satoshi was talking to him as though he’d just stumbled onto a casual crime scene on accident. Talking as though the person in his arms was just a random bystander. It was Izaya! Didn’t he know when to let his work personality shut off? “There are some important phone calls that you need to consider making….but, if you can’t- I can do that”

 

Shizuo’s eyes then widen, as if he was only just beginning to feel the reality of the situation. Izaya was- Shizuo gritted his teeth, his eyes burning with the force of holding back more tears, not that he was doing a very good job of it, and who fucking cared? Right now, his heart wasn’t anywhere within him, at least that’s how he felt, as though Izaya just took it with him. His mind was hazy, thoughts of what he was going to tell everyone- Mairu and Kururi, Shinra and Celty, Kadota, his parents…..Shizuo buried his face against Izaya’s chest, because that wasn’t the worst of it. “Izaya….” Shizuo whispered “How am I supposed to tell Mai? How do I tell her that she won’t be able to see you again? That she won’t be able to tell you about her day at school, or that you won’t see her graduate, or walk her down the aisle when she gets married, or….or even meet her child if she were to have one….how do I tell her all that?”

 

Satoshi stood up, giving Shizuo some space “If you need my help in anyway, if breaking the news to his family is too much....I can-“

 

“No” Shizuo said without hesitation. “I need to be the one....I owe them that, it- it should come from me”

 

Satoshi nodded “I understand. Don’t hesitate to ask for my help, this is going to be a very difficult time for all of you”

 

Shizuo brushed a few black strands of hair from Izaya’s face, still wanting nothing more than for him to open his eyes and just- breath. “I love you....” Shizuo kissed him on the lips once more. “I’m sorry....I’m sorry for not being there for you....if I hadn’t had left, you’d still be-“ Shizuo swallowed the lump in his throat “What do I do without you? How am I supposed to live without you by my side?” Shizuo’s tears fell from his cheeks, dampening the jacket Izaya was wearing. “It’s all my fault.....if I just- if I hadn’t had been so consumed by anger, _god,_ why did I leave you alone!” Cradling his lover once more, still trying to find the will to let him go, Shizuo tilted his head up to Satoshi. “Please....please take care of him”

 

Satoshi nodded “I’ll be with him every step. I’ll make sure his body is treated with the upmost respect. I promise” Shizuo almost cringed, his body-it just sounded such an awful statement.....  “When the evidence has been gained. I’ll see to it myself that his personal belongings are returned to you. Once the autopsy has been completed, you’ll be the first to know”

 

Shizuo forced himself to release his hold on his pale lover’s body and gently lay him on the floor. “I love you...” he told him as he managed to push himself to his feet, fists clenched, staring at Izaya’s features, as if committing them to memory. After a great deal of effort, Shizuo turned away and began to walk toward the door.

 

“We’ll get him Shizuo, don’t worry, we’ll make sure he gets what he deserves. So don’t go doing anything stupid” Shizuo didn’t need to know what Satoshi was talking about. Jinnai Yodogiri was going to pay the ultimate price, if he ever got his hands on him. But-

 

Shizuo’s tone was void of anger, because he didn’t have it in him to show anything but sorrow and heartache. “I have people more important to me right now then revenge. But if I ever get my hands on him- there won’t be anyone alive to stop me from crushing his neck” it took everything he had to not turn back to look at Izaya once more, his eyes clouded as he wrapped his arms around himself, all but stumbling out of the apartment.

 

Shizuo walked down the corridor and he froze, the memory of himself giving back his ring to Izaya flashed through him. Shizuo dropped to his knees, slamming his fist against the floor. He didn’t care if he was heard, he cried out with a pained filled howl, Izaya was gone, and he was never coming back.....

 

 

…………………………..

 

Mairu sighed heavily as she entered the apartment that she shared with her sister. Who knew there would be so many new potential try-outs for their dojo this year? Thank god for Akane, she had been a big help to them. “Man I’m beat!” she said, collapsing across their couch. They didn’t live in a fancy luxurious place, but it was well suited to their needs, most of the living area was within one large room, with their bedroom situated down the long hallway, opposite their bathroom. The floors were carpeted blue and the walls were light grey. Mairu turned her head toward their tv, groaning when she realised that the remote was on the stand. “Kururi….” She held her hand out toward the tv “Remote” Kururi tilted her head over and rolled her eyes, but she walked over to retrieve the item anyway. Mairu smiled happily. There was the sound of a ringtone and both girls looked at each other, then Mairu realised it was coming from her pocket. She let out an irritated huff. She was so damn tired, and all she wanted to do was relax. She dug her phone out of her pocket and sat up a little when she saw the caller ID. “Huh. Why would Shizu-chan be calling us at this hour? I mean, I know it’s only nine, but still”

 

“Maybe he needs a babysitter”

 

Mairu scowled “Well he needs to get in touch with Izaya, they may not be together anymore but they’re still _both_ her parents!”  Kururi merely chuckled, when Mairu was in a bad mood, everyone suffered. Mairu swiped answer and placed the phone to her ear. “Sorry Shizuo, no babysitting….We’re too exhausted, we had a butt load of try-outs today and-” Mairu stopped when she heard Shizuo’s voice interrupt her, he sounded- choked? “Wait, what happened?” Mairu stood up, her heart was hammering in her chest, something felt wrong…really wrong. Kururi watched her sister’s face change from worried to absolute shock, her face drained of colour and she froze. “No….No….he- he can’t….” Kururi walked over to her, she placed her hand over Mairu’s wrist. “Kururi….”

 

Kururi took the phone from Mairu and watched as Mairu collapsed to the floor “Shizuo? What’s-” and then the phone clattered to the floor. Her hands came up and covered her face. Mairu stared at the picture that was on top of their coffee table, it was her, Kururi and Izaya, taken when they had spent Christmas with one another; the day they received their yin yang necklaces. Tears silently fell down her face as she wrapped her arms around her legs. Kururi looked down at her, and then she knelt down and crawled over and pulled her close.

 

“Why….Kururi…..it’s not fair….”

 

Kururi clenched her eyes shut as the two cried against each other.

 

 

………………………

 

“So then I said, who else is going to purchase that kind of figurine without the original packaging” Erika said, Kadota only half listening to her, while he shared a disgruntled glance with Saboro. Walker was also eagerly joining in on the conversation, but he didn’t have the heart to tell them to shut up, he was glad for the company.

 

Kadota smiled to himself, of course, he’d heard the conversation from outside his room earlier today, the two probably forgot where they even were. Izaya and Shizuo were going to be ok, he was positive, he looked at Erika, wondering if he should tell her the good news, or wait for them to tell her. As he opened his mouth to speak, his phone rang. Kadota reached over toward his bedside table, he frowned a little when he saw the caller ID. _That’s weird_

 

Seeing the frown on their friend’s face, Erika stopped babbling and they watched with silent curiosity. “What’s up Dota-chin?” she asked

 

“Dunno. Shizuo’s calling”

 

Erika’s eyes sparkled a little “Oooo! Maybe him and Iza-Iza are back together!”

 

Saboro rolled his eyes and sighed “Wouldn’t that be a miracle”

 

Kadota half smiled, they weren’t exactly wrong. “Better see what he wants” he clicked answer and used his free arm to push Erika out of the way as she tried to snatch the phone off him.

 

“Ask him if he’s back with Izaya! Tell him to pull him close, wrap arms around him and-” Kadota tried to tune her out, Shizuo sounded serious, almost like he was trying his best not to break down on him.

 

Kadota couldn’t hear properly, he turned away from the phone “Erika shut up!”

 

Erika pouted, but she complied. “Just saying….”  
  


Kadota sighed and turned back to the phone “”Sorry man, I’ve got Erika griping on at me and-” Kadota stopped when Shizuo began to speak over him “W-what? Are you- when…I just saw him a few hours ago, it can’t be-” his friends turned their full attention to him now, they knew when to stop joking around. “H-how?” and they were surprised to see his eyes glisten as he continued the conversation. “I’ll….I’ll tell them, you just- just worry about Mai…I’ll tell everyone else” and Kadota hung up, the phone slipped from his hand into his lap.

 

“What’s going on Kyohei?” Saboro asked

 

“Yeah, that sounded serious” Walker said

 

“Dota-chin?” and Erika noticed Kadota flinch from the nickname, she knew he’d gotten used to it by now, it hardly ever bothered him anymore, so why now had he just-

 

“I- I need to tell you guys something….it’s- it’s not good…”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“It’s Izaya….”

 

Erika’s eyes widened, her heart sunk, she didn’t need to know any more than that, she could tell by Kadota’s tone. But the others-

 

“What about him? What happened?” Walker asked

 

Kadota looked at Erika, and he knew she had already figured it out, but he said it anyway. “Someone broke into his apartment…..you know he’s been searching everywhere for that Jinnai, to keep tabs on him in order to keep Shizuo and Mai safe….”

 

Walker nodded “Well yeah, you told us about that”

 

Kadota nodded “I guess they had enough….” He clenched his fists, looking across to the door, Izaya was just there- mere hours ago…. “Someone broke into his apartment, was waiting for him to come back….they shot him, he’s- he’s dead”

 

They gasp, neither one not quite believing what they had just heard. Erika narrowed her eyes; they were just barely holding in her tears. “Was it him? Did Jinnai do this?”

Kadota looked at her, he knew that look, he’d seen it a handful of times in the past. Revenge shone through her tears. “I don’t know for sure, I’m positive he had something to do with it at least, I doubt it was him directly, he’d have sent someone….Erika, try to keep calm, there’s nothing we can do right now….I’m worried about Shizuo’s actions, he sounded heartbroken on the phone as you can very well imagine but- I’m worried about what he’ll do later”

 

“Who cares! If he’s going after him, I’m joining!”

 

“Me too!” Walker added

 

Kadota shook his head “No you’re not. It won’t do anyone any good, Shizuo needs us to be level-headed, not to encourage him, think about Mai”

 

Erika fell silent, and this time, her tears did fall. “I can’t even imagine how she’ll take it….and what about Mairu and Kururi?”

 

Kadota nodded sadly “They already know, but I told Shizuo that I’d take some of the grievance and tell everyone else, I guess he thought I might be the right person. I should start with Shinra….”

 

……………………

 

Shinra and Celty were sat on the couch, she was pushing his game controller away from the sensor in order for herself to gain more points. “Hey! That’s not fair Celty! That’s cheating! Don’t be meeeeean!”

 

Shinra could tell she was laughing by the quick jolts of her shoulders, the game suddenly announced her the winner of the race and she threw her arms up in the air, fists pumped. Shinra smiled, it wasn’t as if he was truly annoyed, if she was happy, then that was all that mattered. It was their first day off in what seemed like a long time, so they rarely got to spend their married days just being themselves. She turned to him, the smoke from her neck gushing slightly. [one more race!] [and I won’t push away your controller this time]

 

Shinra chuckled with a nod as he  switched the controller to setup the next game. “All right but be prepared to go down this time” They were about to start the next race, Celty leaned forward, already on the edge of her seat. Shinra blinked when his phone rang, Celty looked over at him and he smiled sheepishly. “I thought I turned it off, I swear” he was about to do just that when he saw that it was Kadota’s name. “Hmm, it’s Kadota...should I answer?”

 

Celty’s neck and shoulders gave the impression that she nodded and then she typed [I don’t mind. If one of our friends is calling, it could be important]

 

Shinra huffed a little, but he figured she was right, and since when does Kadota really ever call them? He brought the phone to his ear “Hello? Kadota?”

 

“Shinra, I’ve got- I’ve got some really bad news I need to tell you, but- are you sitting down?”

 

Shinra frowned and took his seat back on the couch “I am now, what’s going on?”

 

“Man, I don’t even know how to tell you....I take it you know all about what Izaya’s been trying to do over the last months? About trying to keep track of Jinnai?”

 

Shinra sighed “Yes. He told me; he’s going to get himself in serious trouble if they decide   to-”

 

“Shinra, they already have. They- they got to him, at his own apartment....I- I got a call from Shizuo a few minutes ago....apparently Satoshi received the call from a resident about a gunshot, he was already there when Shizuo showed up....”

 

Shinra could hardly hear what Kadota was saying anymore....he couldn’t be telling him what he thought he was telling him, right? Izaya wasn’t- “Kyohei.... please tell me, tell me he’s not-“

 

“I’m sorry....whoever it was, they were waiting for him- no chance of self-defence, he was- he was shot in the head...”

 

Shinra swallowed the lump in his throat, his arms laxed as he lowered the phone and it slipped out of his hands. “Oh god....”

 

Celty grew incredibly concerned and she quickly typed on her phone. [Shinra! What’s wrong?]

 

Shinra barely turned his head, so she shoved it right in front of his face. He blinked at it, tears clouding his eyes, making the words on the screen blur. She touched his shoulder; he shook under her hand. “Izaya....he- they got to him....he’s dead....” Shinra leaned forward, covering his face with his hands, glasses going askew. “They realised their threats weren’t enough to ward him off....so they killed him....”

 

Celty seemed to have stilled completely, her hand just hovering over her keypad, not having any idea what she wanted to say.... this couldn’t be true- it just couldn’t be! [Shinra-] she could barely find the effort to type, the smoke from her neck seeped slowly, projecting a thick sadness around them. She could tell Shinra was trying to hold it together, she hadn’t ever really seen him cry before, at least, not for real, not like the whines he usually voices. She touched his shoulder and forced him to look at her. [Don’t try and be brave for me. Let go, you need to]

 

Shinra tried to huff a laugh, but it was so strained; Izaya, his best friend- was gone

 

_“By the way, have you heard of the saying, at tiger dies and leaves it’s skin, but people die and leave their names?”_

_Izaya looked at him with a bored expression on his face “No”_

_“Shizuo is like a tiger” Shinra jumped in excitement “When he dies, he’ll leave behind stories of how strong he was, people will treasure those and tell them over and over and over, and eventually he’ll become an urban legend”_

_“Legend?” Izaya replied with the same bored tone, Shinra turned to him with a determined frown, a finger poised_

_“Yes, I said legend, not rumour, there’s a huge difference don’t you know. there’s even a chance he could surpass his legendary status and live on in people’s hearts as a superhuman entity!”_

_Shinra watched Izaya for a moment, the raven staring at him almost as if he was going to punch him, then he grinned. “Ok, if tigers leaving skins behind is true, what about you? what kind of achievement will you leave?” Izaya stepped closer to him, his grin widening “If I were to guess, I’d say you were to leave behind a legacy as serial killer, and that thrills me”_

_Shinra didn’t bat an eye, he wasn’t offended in the least, he looked up with a smile “Well, I’m human, so I-” Shinra’s smile faded, as though he was thinking really hard on what Izaya said. “I don’t care….”_

“You’ll be remembered for sure, Izaya....you really did have an impact on us, if you saw what achievements you’d accomplish in the future back then....you would have laughed so hard....” Shinra’s tears gently slipped from his eyes, as he stared down at his clenched fists. “You’ve accomplished what you wanted Izaya....you’ll be remembered, not in the way you originally wanted to be, but better....” Celty didn’t know what Shinra was talking about, she could only guess that it had been a past discussion between Shinra and Izaya back during probably their high school days. It didn’t matter, she didn’t ask, she leaned forward and simply wrapped her arms around him tightly. Shinra chewed his lip and returned her embrace without another word as he let his tears flow.

 

……………...................

 

Saki looked down at the small bundle in her arms, she had gone into labour the night before, it had been exhausting, but she was over the moon. Who knew she would create such a perfect little being? The infant had been born a month early but was all in good health. It was a girl, but they had yet to decide on a name. She looked up and smiled when Masaomi came back into the room, then she noticed his expression, it was not the one he had been wearing when he left to buy some snacks- all goofy and giddy from the birth- he looked, sad? “Hey, what’s wrong?”

 

Masaomi turned to her, his eyes void of the happiness that he’d been feeling in the past few hours. He walked toward the bed and leaned in to take the baby from her arms, and then gently placed her in the crib beside them. Turning back to her now confused face, he took her hand and sat down beside her. “Saki, something’s happened.... I- man, I don’t know how to tell you...”

 

Saki frowned “You’re scaring me- what is it?”

 

He tightened his hold on her hand, not quite looking in her eyes. “It’s- he-“

 

“Masaomi! What’s wrong!? Tell me!”

 

Masaomi’s eyes snapped to hers and she could have sworn there was a sparkle of tears in them for a second. “He’s dead!”

 

Saki frowned and her heartbeat quickly picked up, she tightened her hand in his, she had a feeling that she knew who Masaomi was referring to- but still- “Who...?”

 

Masaomi swallowed thickly “Izaya....he’s- he’s dead Saki...”

 

Saki blinked and her breath hitched, she shook her head, as if trying to wake up from a bad dream.  “He can’t be....I- I spoke to him, just yesterday.....he- he was supposed to meet her....He promised me that he’d be ok- that he would-“ He shifted up onto the bed and wrapped his arms around her “Masaomi....” she clenched her hands around his shirt, sobbing loudly into his chest.

 

“I’m sorry Saki.....I know he meant a lot to you....cause in the end....he meant a lot to everyone” Masaomi gritted his teeth, finding it harder to fight his tears then he thought _Izaya, why the hell did you have to go and get yourself killed for? Damn it....you idiot_

 

…..........................

 

“W-what!?” Mikado turned his head to Anri who had answered their phone in the living room while he was making some tea in the kitchen. “No!!” He ran over to her, forgetting all about the meal as she collapsed onto her knees, face covered in her hands.

 

“Anri! What’s wrong!? What happened!?” Anri turned into his arms, her hand coming around to clutch at his shirt, Mikado picked up the fallen cordless phone and held her close as he brought the phone close to his ear. “H-hello? Masaomi? Wha- wait, what!?” Mikado’s eyes widened _it can’t be_..... “H-how....?” And then he closed his eyes, hanging up and consoled his girlfriend as she cried against him, fighting back his own tears.

 

…………...........................

 

Namie scowled down at the phone after she had hung up, her hand shaking as she clutched the cell phone. Her eyes soon became misty “You idiot…..” she gritted her teeth and shouted, “You idiot!!” and then threw her phone across the room, snapping it in half as it hit the wall.

 

…………………….

 

Shizuo stared at the door of what had been his home for the last however many months. He could barely feel his body as it took a step closer, yet his heart thudded painfully in his chest. He guessed that his eyes were swollen and red by now, they stung harshly against the wind that had picked up a few minutes ago. He glanced at his watch, barely registering what time it was, and he briefly wondered how everyone was dealing with the news, he assumed those closest knew what had happened by now. Shizuo had walked around aimlessly for the past two hours, utterly lifeless, as if someone had drained him of his very soul. There was only one person that kept him from running away- wanting nothing more than to hide from everyone he knew, curl into himself and hope that the pain would ease up eventually-Shizuo didn’t believe it would, and he knew that nothing could ever bring him back to feeling whole again, a huge part of him had died the minute he saw Izaya-

 

Shizuo took a shaky breath, the one person that he had left, the one that would keep Izaya’s memory alive....was Mai. He came back for her, because she didn’t deserve to lose one of them, let alone both. He opened the door to his home, and he wasn’t even sure he was even moving anywhere until he reached the living room and found his parents sitting on the couch with a mug of tea in their hands, probably ready to turn in for the night.

 

Namiko glanced toward him and smiled brightly “Well?” She questioned enthusiastically. Shizuo had told them about what had happened between him and Izaya at the hospital, and that the reason they were looking after Mai was so that they could- Namiko’s smile disappeared when she saw his face, his red eyes. “Shizuo?”

 

“Is Mai asleep?”

 

Namiko frowned “Yes, she wanted to wait for you to come home- I didn’t tell her about what you were doing- but she fell asleep, we just took her up to bed”

 

Shizuo barely looked at them, Namiko hadn’t seen him like this-not even when he broke up with Izaya, at least, not this bad. “I need to tell her something”

 

“Now? If you and Izaya aren’t getting back together after all- wouldn’t it be easier to not tell her you were even trying?”

 

Shizuo gritted his teeth “That’s not what I have to tell her-“ god, he was trying his hardest not to break down, he had so many on the way here, he was pretty sure he’d left a “trail” he imagined that the destruction of city property would always be out of anger, but not this time, this time he wasn’t angry, this time he was grieving. “Izaya and I can never be together again.....” he said and then made his way up the stairs, how was he going to tell his little girl that Izaya was gone?

 

Shizuo walked into Mai’s semi dark room, he quietly knelt beside her, watching her sleeping form, one hand tucked under the pillow, the other by her face as her arm cuddled around the stuffed black horse that Izaya had brought her, and his heart clenched painfully once more. He didn’t want to tell her, he didn’t want to break her heart....he couldn’t bear the thought of her never smiling again- she was a strong child, but Shizuo knew that she would take it hard.

 

He reached out a hand to nudge her shoulder gently “Mai...?” She stirred in her sleep and then her eyes blinked open, blearily looking up at him, and he didn’t know how he managed to smile, even if it was the tiniest curve of his lips. “Hey...”

 

“Daddy?” She sat up a little, rubbing her eyes

 

“Mai, I need you to wake up a little”

 

Mai shifted up onto her knees “K” she replied without much fuss and swung her legs over the bed. “How come?”

 

Shizuo gestured for her to shield her eyes as he walked over and flicked the light on. She watched him as he came back to kneel beside her. “Mai....I have to-“

 

“What’s wrong daddy? Why are you all sad and crying?”

 

Shizuo’s body tensed, her perceptiveness could have only been picked up from Izaya. “There’s been- there’s been an accident Mai....” he tried his hardest to find the right words, he didn’t want to scare her with extreme details, but in this situation, he couldn’t lie either, Mai knew what death was by now, she understood its meaning, he just didn’t want her to know how. Shizuo took both of her hands in his, stroking his thumb over them. “You know that Iz-nii loved you very much....“ his heart was breaking as his eyes clouded. “And he was trying his hardest to keep you safe....to keep all the bad away from you, you know that right?”

 

Mai began to panic “Daddy....you’re scaring me...”

 

Shizuo swallowed “I’m sorry...”

 

“Daddy....where’s Iz-nii? Where is he? What accident?” He could feel her shaking hands and he shifted closer to her, his arms coming to rest over her small knees.

 

“Mai....Iz-nii- he was in an accident....and- and he-“ the words almost died on his lips, if he looked at her, he’d simply break. “He died Mai....” Shizuo’s tears fell from his face, he didn’t think he had any left.... “I’m sorry....I’m so sorry Mai”

 

Mai’s eyes instantly watered and she cried “No! No....he didn’t die!! Nooooo!” She pounded her tiny fists against his arms, as if pushing away the truth, pushing him back.

 

His parents, who had been trying to listen at the bottom of the stairs were devastated. Namiko turned into her husband’s arms and cried into his chest, he held her close, their hearts reaching out to the two above them. They fell apart with every word spilling from Mai’s mouth.

 

Shizuo’s heart sunk, he tried to wrap his arms around her, but she clutched at his shirt, pushing against him as she cried louder. “Bring him back!!” Shizuo held onto her arms and let her say what she needed to; she slapped her hands against his chest “Bring him back!...” her hits were getting softer now “Please.... please bring him back...” Shizuo slowly pulled her close and lifted her up and sat on the bed, placing her in his lap as she curled up. “He’s not dead....he can’t be, .....Daddy....go get him, please....” and she sobbed loudly against him.

 

Shizuo rocked her gently, not even holding his emotions in anymore, he cried with her until she exhausted herself and fell asleep in his arms. He lay back gently so as not to wake her, and pulled the blanket over them both, he placed the horse in her arms and stared at the ceiling, his eyes hurt so much, but his heart- his heart was just- empty.

 

………..……………….

 

 

Shizuo walked into the apartment, he swallowed the painful lump forming in his throat, tears streamed down his face as his eyes found his lover’s body, the gunshot wound to his head bleeding out onto the floor, but-

 

Izaya lifted his hand up suddenly, his eyes wide and filled with pain “Shizu-chan....help me”

 

Shizuo shot up from the bed, panting hard as he clutched the cover that was bunched up around his legs. This wasn’t the first nightmare he’d woken up from since Izaya’s death, he couldn’t even recall how many there had been by now. It had been a week....he was taking a guess at that, since he had barely left the house at all. Mai had been kept home, allowed time off from school to grieve properly, going back only when she was ready to. Shizuo only ever spoke when she was around, when she come up to sit with him on the days when he couldn’t even leave his room. Until now, he didn’t know what true loss felt like, because he’d always thought that Izaya could never be lost- that he would never lose him. He’d been wrong, so wrong....

 

His nightmares started almost two days after- sometimes he woke three times during when he would actually get some sleep. It was always that same dream, over and over, Shizuo didn’t have any idea what it meant. Except that Izaya was gone and nothing Shizuo did could bring him back, he figured that his nightmares were just a play on what he really wanted. Shizuo knew he couldn’t hide away in here forever, or he could, he didn’t actually care..... he refused to speak or hardly see anyone unless it was Mai.

 

A few of his friends had stopped by, to try and talk to him, let him know that he wasn’t alone, he ignored them until they left with defeat.

 

He’d heard something about Saki’s child, and how her and Masaomi had named the baby ‘Kanra’ to keep part of Izaya with them, in their child. A small part of Shizuo reacted to that, he thought it was a nice gesture, since they had all been a part of that group chat at some point.

 

Mairu and Kururi kept their distance, Shizuo didn’t know if it was because they were too upset or because they knew he didn’t want to see anyone, he also pondered a third option, that maybe they even blamed him for their brother’s death. Shizuo wouldn’t even blame them if they did, because in all honesty, he was beginning to feel like they should, that maybe it was his fault. They had lost their brother, Shinra lost his best friend and those around him, had lost a small part of themselves, because Izaya had made that much of a dent in their lives, whether the raven had really known it or not.

 

Shizuo turned his head to the clock radio on his nightstand, he didn’t even know why there had been an alarm set, since he quit his job outright when he had to inform Tom about Izaya. There was no comprising, no ‘See how you feel after a couple of weeks’ or ‘Just take your time to grieve, and then come back later’ Shizuo quit. He wasn’t going back to that, ever. He didn’t think he could keep himself from tearing someone apart if they even mentioned Izaya’s name, whether to apologise or make a quip, because he knew that a few around Ikebukuro still held some kind of grudge, even after all this time. He would not be held responsible for what he might do to someone if he was in that kind of position, he would kill them, no questions.

 

~Is this the last time that I lay my eyes upon you?

Is this the last time that I ever watch you leave?

This is the last thing I would ever have done to you

This is the last thing that I thought you'd do to me

 

We said that it would last, but how come it's the last time?

I'm tryna hold your hand but feeling like my hand's tied

We said we'd be forever, now you'll never ever be mine (oh-oh-oh)

We said that it would last, but how come it's the last time?~

 

Shizuo gritted his teeth, that damn song, he didn’t know if it was popular right now, but he fucking hated it! It was mocking him with its cruel words, and he felt like it knew his situation, it was always those same damn words that he heard in his head. He picked up his clock and threw it at the wall. “Shut up!!” Shizuo looked at his phone when it started to ring, he looked at the caller ID, Kasuka. No, not even his brother could pull him together, forfucksake, it had only been a week! Couldn’t they just leave him alone!?

 

He watched the call switch off and his screen flash up with a missed call, along with several others.

 

“Daddy?” Shizuo startled as he turned his attention to the doorway. “I heard something break...”

 

Shizuo patted the bed “I’m fine Mai....it was just- just the clock” Mai ran into the room and climbed onto the bed. “What’s with the uniform?”

 

Mai looked down at herself and didn’t look back up at him, feeling like she had done something wrong.

 

“She wants to go back to school....”Shizuo heard his mother’s voice from the doorway. He turned to look at her “She said she wants to keep making Iz-nii proud”

 

Shizuo turned away from her and glanced down at Mai, rubbing her arm gently. “Is that what you want? Are you sure you’re ready?”

 

Mai nodded but she sniffled “Iz-nii would want me to go....I-I want him to be proud”

 

“He was Mai, he was so very proud of you. But he also wanted you to be happy, if you’re not ready to go back to school yet....he would understand”

 

Mai wrapped her arms around him, and he pulled her close. “I want to-“

 

Shizuo sighed a little “If you’re sure”

 

She looked up at him, Shizuo hated to see her eyes so full of sorrow. Even if she was ready, he knew that she wouldn’t be the same, a part of her couldn’t ever go back to how she was. Part of her childlike innocence had been taken, and she suddenly looked more grown up, making the right decision he himself couldn’t make. “Are you mad at me?”

 

Shizuo shook his head, how could he ever be mad at her? “No Mai, of course not, I’m- I’m proud of you, so was Iz-nii. I just want you to be ready, and if you need more time, we’ll all understand” Shizuo knew he was speaking as though Izaya was watching over her, but he knew that people often conjured up that notion, and if Mai needed that to make her grieving easier, he couldn’t bring himself to tell her otherwise. “Have a good day little one”

 

Mai briefly smiled at him and he kissed her on the forehead and watched her walk out, avoiding the look of sympathy he knew his mother was giving him, along with her tearful eyes.

 

Shizuo relaxed once she was gone, he lay back down and turned his back to the door, as though he was facing away from the world.

 

………………….

 

Shizuo stood in front of the grey headstone, a single rose in his hand as he stared in disbelief at the name engraved on there.

 

Izaya Orihara

Aged 32

Beloved brother, a close friend and a wonderful partner.

You will be dearly missed

 

They couldn’t even put father on there, because they were not permitted to have Mai as their legally adopted daughter, because the government weren’t to know about them raising Mai as their own.

 

Shizuo exhaled slowly, the fresh crisp morning air visible.  He didn’t know how long he had been standing here, but since his hands were feeling numb from the cold, he figured it had been a while.

 

There was a sudden hand, colder than his own, that linked together with the one that held the rose. Shizuo stilled, his breathing quickened as his hand instinctively tightened its hold on the familiar hand.

 

“Shizu-chan...”

 

Shizuo spun around, eyes wide as he faced his lover, looking into his crimson eyes. “I-Izaya....”

 

“Don’t give up Shizu-chan. Mai needs you...”

 

Shizuo’s eyes glistened, somewhere in his mind, he knew this wasn’t real. But he didn’t care, he just wanted to talk to him, to hold him.... “I just- I just miss you so much”

 

Izaya placed a finger on Shizuo’s lips “Shhh. I know” his thumb brushed a tear away from the blond’s face. “I’m sorry for leaving you....But don’t hide away, everyone needs you Shizu-chan, Mai needs you most of all”

 

“ _I_ need _you_ ”

 

Izaya smiled and placed his hand over Shizuo’s chest. “I’m here....Shizu-chan, I’ll always be here, there in your heart”

 

Shizuo chewed his lip “I love you so much”

 

“I love you too. I have to go; but, I need you to do something for me...”

 

Shizuo nodded, like he knew what Izaya wanted to say. “I’ll look after Mai, I promise, I won’t give up”

 

Izaya smiled and his hand clutched around Shizuo’s shirt. “I know you will. But, there’s something else I need you to do for me...”

 

“W-what? What is it?”

 

And there was a sudden shift and the clouds above them grew very dark, Shizuo looked up to see a flash of lightening streak across the sky. When he looked back down at Izaya, there was fear in his eyes, replacing the warmth that he had seen moments ago. “I need you to help me”

 

Shizuo frowned in confusion “What?”

 

“Help me Shizu-chan, please, it’s-it’s so cold here, and I can’t- I can’t get out....it hurts, it hurts so much...” Izaya grasped his shirt with both hands “Help me!”

 

“Izaya!” Shizuo almost fell out of the bed, his breathing was heavy, and his chest felt as if it might burst open. There was tears covering his cheeks, he clung to the covers, not fully aware of where he was. He swiped a hand through his sweat soaked hair, shaking as he glanced over at the clock that he now realised he’d yet to replace. He lifted his hand under his pillow and pulled his phone out, squinting at the sudden light of his screen as it read 03:45. “Damn it...” he cursed, he flopped back against the pillows. “What the hell was that?” It certainly didn’t feel like an ordinary nightmare, if nightmares could be considered ordinary. Shizuo sighed heavily, it had been almost two weeks now, and since he had to start getting himself out, in order to arrange the funeral, it was a perfectly good explanation for his dreams. Mainly the headstone that had appeared. Except he knew for a fact-and it was probably in his will-that Izaya did not want to be buried.

 

His dreams were a way of him trying to say goodbye, he guessed, something which he could never do. Shizuo frowned, it was true that they always turned into nightmares towards the end, but how many times must he suffer through Izaya’s pleas? He couldn’t help him. That cold place Izaya was referring to....that he couldn’t get out of.... “The morgue....” Shizuo knew he was there, where he had been since Shizuo had left him behind at the apartment. Maybe that would change, once the funeral was over, the last closure he needed.

 

The last farewell.....

 


	12. A trap worth falling for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try hard to reply to comments individually, I promise that I read them. I've just been working a lot lately and using what free time I have to write. 
> 
> Thank you for all your wonderful amazing comments and kudos!

Shizuo stared at the paperwork covering the table in the kitchen; leaflets, letters of condolences…. He could hardly think straight, how was he supposed to do this? How was he supposed to plan a funeral for his partner? He glanced around the table, Mai was sat next to him, her hand coming up to hold his, she hadn’t said a word since they’d all started. Mairu and Kururi were sat opposite them, his mother was seated at the end, she was the best person to help them through this, so Kichirou decided it best to just take an extra shift at work. “I can’t do this” Shizuo said and pushed himself to his feet, Mai let go of his hand and they all watched him walk out of the kitchen.

 

Mairu chewed her lip as she looked down sadly, she picked up a leaflet, it had a picture of a beautiful black headstone on the front, marble texture, it would stand out for sure. “Maybe…..this one?” she showed her sister the headstone “It stands out, just like he did….”

 

Kururi nodded, but it wasn’t finalised, they wouldn’t decide without Shizuo. It wasn’t as though Izaya was going to be buried, but they still wanted to give him a headstone, one that told people who he was.

 

Mai frowned at the leaflet in her hands, the horse clutched under her arm. Namiko looked over at her and said “What’s wrong Mai? Are you feeling ok?”

 

Mai simply shook her head, she looked up at the twins, her eyes shining with tears. “He’s- he’s going to be lonely….”

 

Mairu’s heart sunk at those words, damn it, Mai was only seven years old, she shouldn’t have to deal with all this, she shouldn’t have to be in the room while they discussed Izaya’s funeral! “Why don’t you go upstairs for a little while sweetie?”

 

Mai slapped a hand on the table “No!” tears fell down her cheeks “I- I want….I want him to have my horse….encase he- encase he misses us…”

 

Kururi stood up and walked around to kneel beside her, stroking the top of the stuffed animal’s head. “We can do that, if you want, we can give Iz-nii your horse….”

 

Mairu smiled through her tears “He’d like that”

 

Namiko turned her attention to the twins, she had been thinking about the best way to bring it up, she knew how awkward things were. “Do either of your parents know what’s happened?” she said softly “I know you haven’t spoken to them in quite a few years now….but- they still have a right to know that their son is-” the woman cut herself off, she could barely say the words.

 

Mairu nodded as she looked down at the leaflets sadly “I know. we- we sent them a letter, just- explaining some things, I wrote down our numbers at the end” she hunched her shoulders. “I’m just waiting to hear from them”

 

They heard the doorbell sound throughout the kitchen, Namiko was about to get up to answer, but they heard the door open and then Shizuo’s voice. They remained quiet, to listen out for who their guest might be.

 

Shizuo frowned at the man standing before him, he didn’t know why, but Satoshi made him angry. In a way, he blamed the officer for Izaya’s death, because a part of Shizuo trusted him to make sure Izaya would be safe. as though it had been up to him, to keep Izaya out of trouble while they had been apart. Shizuo sighed inwardly, becoming guilty for those thoughts, because the only one that should have protected Izaya, was himself. “What do you want?” Shizuo said abruptly, eyes pinning Satoshi with a glare, despite his previous guilt.

 

“I- just came by to give you these” Satoshi held up a large parcel bag, Shizuo looked at it, Izaya’s name was written across it in black bold letters. “It’s- it’s his personal belongings….well, what he had on him at the time… I wanted to give them to you in person, I didn’t want to have them sent here, would have been too informal”

 

Shizuo tensed, his hand shaking as he reached up and took the large bag from the cop. “T-thanks….”

 

Satoshi nodded, hands pushing into his pockets “How is everyone?”

 

Shizuo glanced back up at his face, something along the lines of ‘how do you think they are!?’ entered his mind, but he couldn’t force them past his lips, so instead he said “They’re….coping, kind of. Mai is back at school anyway….she’s stronger than I am, I think”

 

Satoshi smiled sadly at him “Yeah. I heard that you quit your job…” Shizuo didn’t care, his main priority now was to be there for Mai. “Well, I should go….give my sincerest apologies to everyone”

 

Shizuo frowned as he looked to the side, sidestepping from the doorway. “Come in, if you want….We’re just- we’re just going over a few funeral plans”

 

Satoshi blinked “I- don’t want to intrude”

 

Shizuo shook his head “Izaya respected you, I know he thought of you as a friend, so….come in already”

 

Satoshi bowed politely “Thank you”

 

Satoshi followed him into the house and all eyes were on Shizuo as he stepped into the kitchen, the bag in his hand. Namiko gave Satoshi a small smile. “Hello, it’s good to see you”

 

He nodded her way “I only wish it wasn’t under such circumstances…”

 

Namiko stood up and gave him her seat as she then made her way over to the countertop. “I’ll make some tea”

 

“Oh, don’t go to the trouble”

 

“It’s no trouble”

 

Mairu glanced down at the bag clutched in Shizuo’s hand “Shizuo? Is that-” the twins had been careful not to use the nickname Izaya had used, they couldn’t say it anymore….it felt wrong, almost morbid.

 

Shizuo looked at the bag he was holding “Yeah…If you don’t mind, I’d like to open it alone first”

 

Kururi nodded “We understand”

 

“Take your time ok?” Mairu said

 

Shizuo left the kitchen and made his way toward his bedroom, his body shook as his breathing became heavy, almost dreading the contents of what was in the bag. He shut the door and wandered over to the bed. he sat himself crossed legged on the sheets and slowly opened the top of the bag with shaky hands. A tuff of fur slid out from the top and he inhaled a breath, he pulled out the long jacket that Izaya had been so fond of, he pulled it close and buried his face in the fabric, expecting to smell his lover’s scent. It didn’t smell like Izaya, it smelt, washed? Shizuo pulled away from it, a sob escaping his throat. “Guess that makes sense….” He stroked his hand across the arm’s sleeve. Taking a breath, he continued to search the bag’s contents. His hand brushed against something metal and he pulled out Izaya’s switchblade. Shizuo gripped the handle tightly, closing his eyes as he shook with sorrow.

 

_Izaya swiped the blade across Shizuo’s chest, spinning around as he did so, he grinned at him “See? Now aren’t we having fun?”_

Tears slipped past his eyelids; he placed the knife down gently on top of the jacket. Was that it? was this all that was left behind of Izaya’s memories? He took the bag in his hand and something rattled inside, he tipped it, holding out his palm and a clear small bag landed in his hand. There was a note attached, probably from Satoshi.

 

:He had this around his neck:

 

Shizuo swallowed the lump in his throat and opened the bag, there was a chain inside. Shizuo curled the chain around two of his fingers as he pulled it out, revealing the ring dangling from its end.

 

_Shizuo turned and retrieved the silver band ring from Kasuka and then turned back to Izaya. “This ring is a token of my love and a sign of the promise I make to you today” Izaya almost laughed as Shizuo tried to ignore the fact that his hand was shaking a little, not so calm after all. He watched as the silver band was slipped so gently on his left-hand finger._

Shizuo clenched his fist around it “Izaya….” Tears fell freely as he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around the jacket. “It’s so hard…..to let you go”

 

 

…………………….

 

After an hour, they began to get worried, they shared concerned looks across the table, Mai was sat on Kururi’s lap. Mairu stood up and said, “Maybe one of us should check on him?” as if he heard her, Shizuo appeared inside the kitchen archway, clutching the items in his arms. “Hey…”

 

Shizuo walked forward and placed Izaya’s things on the table “These should go with him….” He said quietly

 

They looked at the items, Mairu’s hand reached out to touch the fur on the jacket. “He loved this….” Her eyes clouded

 

“I need to be alone for a while….need some fresh air to clear my head, I promise I’ll come back and help you with all this” he made a gesture to the leaflets and then turned to kneel next to Mai. “I’ll be back in a little while, ok?”

 

Mai sobbed and wrapped her arms around his neck, he rubbed her back gently and smiled at her as he pulled away, wiping her tears from her face with his sleeve. “Love you Daddy”

 

“I love you too” he stood up and made his way toward the kitchen’s entrance.

 

“Daddy?” Shizuo turned back to her, she pulled Izaya’s jacket closer to her. “Can I have this? Please?”

 

Shizuo’s breath hitched and he felt his chest tighten “I’ll- I’ll get you a different one, maybe something in your size, Iz-nii should- he should have that, what do you think?”

 

Mai nodded, a hand tightening around the fabric “K…Yeah, cause- cause he might get cold…”

 

Kururi held Mai close, resting her chin on top of the small girl’s head, Shizuo turned away, god, he had to get of the house.

 

Satoshi sighed and stood up “I should go too, I would very much like the chance to say my goodbyes, the mortician should contact Shizuo soon to let him know that the bo- that Izaya has been released….”

 

Mairu nodded as she stood beside her sister and Mai, holding onto Kururi’s shoulder “We’ll let you know when he’s at the chapel of rest, we would appreciate your presence Satoshi, it would mean a lot to us”

 

Satoshi bowed politely and then left the family alone as he left the house. His phone rang and he pulled it from his pocket, frowning at the number before clicking the answer button.

 

…………………..

 

Shizuo walked through the city, it was bustling with life as usual, people rushing around everywhere, laughing and shouting. Shizuo couldn’t hear them, because he simply tuned everything out around him. He wasn’t even aware that he was passing by a very familiar shop until- “Shi-zuo” a deep voice called after him and he stopped to turn to the dark skinned man. Simon. His eyes bore sadness and Shizuo didn’t think he could stop himself if one more person told him sorry. “V nashe vremya mozhno perezhit' vse, krome smerti, i perezhit' vse, krome khoroshey reputatsii”

 

Shizuo growled “Speak Japanese!”

 

Simon nodded, a sad look on his face “One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation”

 

Shizuo clenched his fists “What the hell does that even mean?”

 

“It was said by Oscar wilde” Shizuo looked away, eyes fixed on the ground, wasn’t there a quote by that man that Izaya loved? He couldn’t remember though. “He’s referring to the unfortunate occurrences of a person’s monotonous life. He states that, a modern man has as a part of evolution, evolved into such a creation that he can get away with anything-irrespective of how worse it gets, literally anything, except for death and living down anything expect a good reputation of the person that survives, even though the person may have changed a lot from his reputation” Simon lay his hand on Shizuo’s shoulder “This fits well no? Iza-ya was always avoiding death, getting away with a lot of things in his life, and no matter how bad, he could live it down….but now, death has taken him, and he couldn’t live down to a good reputation, he already lived it, because he changed”

 

Shizuo wanted to punch his lights out, but- he knew that Simon was trying to help in a way, and at least he didn’t tell him that he was sorry. He stepped away from the tall man and waved a hand, head inclining as he continued walking. “Thanks Simon” he called out; his tone quiet, not even sure if the Russian man heard him.

 

“Iza-ya will be missed” Simon said softly

 

 

…………………..

 

Shinra blinked as he heard something thud from above the ceiling. “Huh. What was that?” he slid open the balcony doors and leaned over the railing, he tilted his head and then turned around to look up. Celty appeared in the doorway, she’d heard the thud too, and was confused by what Shinra was looking at, she stepped outside and typed on her phone.

 

[What are you doing?]

 

Shinra pointed up “I think there’s someone on the roof”

 

Celty’s hands stilled their movements, her fingers hovering over the keypad and then she typed again. [Who?]

 

Shinra shook his head and shrugged “I don’t know”

 

[I’ll go see] [Wait here]

 

Celty made her way up the fire escape that was situated to the right side of the wall, she climbed up over the top and stopped when she saw their “intruder” Smoke blew gently from the light of a cigarette as she watched the figure, hunched over the other railing around the roof.  Her shoulders slumped sadly, she stepped onto the roof and slowly made her way over.

 

Shizuo looked behind when he heard light footsteps, seeing that it was Celty, he relaxed as he turned back to look over the city. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to come here, didn’t want to intrude….I just-” She stepped beside him, mimicking his body by leaning against the railing, her phone held lightly in her hands. “Izaya proposed to me here…on this very roof”

 

Celty flinched and gave a jolt of her helmet, indicating that she had nodded. [How are you?]

 

“I said yes. I thought that that was it, we’d be together forever”

 

Celty tightened her grip on her phone, Shizuo hadn’t turned his attention so that she could talk to him. [Shinra won’t talk about him. He’s acting like he’s ok, but I know he’s not] this time, Shizuo did look at her phone, and he nodded in understanding.

 

“What about you, how do you feel?” Celty waved her hand, as if to tell him that what she felt didn’t matter, and Shizuo frowned, he understood that implication. “Of course it matters!”

 

Celty lowered her helmet, typed a quick message and showed it to him. [I miss him]

 

Shizuo’s eyes soften and he lay a hand on her shoulder. “You should talk to Shinra. Maybe if he realises how you feel, he’ll probably open up I guess, I mean- ‘anything Celty wants, Celty gets’ right?” Celty’s shoulders moved up and down, her hand coming up to her helmet, well, at least he made her laugh. “Yeah. that was a bad impression, sorry”

 

Celty placed her hand on his arm [I’m always here, if you need to talk and-] she looked out over the city [And you can come here anytime you need to]

 

Shizuo smiled “Thanks, I really appreciate that. I’m sorry if I’ve been avoiding you, I’ve actually been avoiding everyone….It’s just- I’m hurting Celty, I miss him so much”

 

Celty tightened her hold on his arm before typing [You have no need to apologise!] [I understand completely. With everything that happened between you two at the end- I can only imagine how hard it must have been, to lose him twice]

 

Shizuo tilted his head, wondering what she was talking about “I don’t follow”

 

[You split up; you gave him back your ring] [That’s what I meant. It must have felt like you lost him twice….]

 

Shizuo sighed, he forgot that no one knew about that, except for Kadota. “There’s something you should know. before- before he…. Izaya and I ran into each other at the hospital, we were both there visiting Kadota at the time. We had a moment of clarity I guess you could say. We- we kissed and-”

 

Celty couldn’t contain herself [what!?] [You kissed!? But- did that mean-]

 

Shizuo laughed, though it was forced and sour “Yeah. the cruellest of ironies. We got back together and- and then he died” Shizuo lowered his head “I was on my way to have dinner with him, we were going to talk about everything, but it was too late….Satoshi said that the gunshot happened around five thirty, I was meeting him around seven….”

 

Celty didn’t know what to say, she almost dropped her phone, her body shaking with emotions; anger and sorrow. Anger at the one that took Izaya from them, and sorrow for the one that stood in front of her. [I didn’t know]

 

“I know. no one does. I didn’t want to tell anyone; it was too much. I guess the only part of me that’s grateful, is that we had that chance- to tell each other, to hold each other…” Shizuo clenched his fists “Dammit, why the hell did he go into that apartment, he should have- he should have just left!” Celty imagined that this was the first time Shizuo had spoken about the whole situation to anyone. So she didn’t interrupt him until she knew he was finished. “Why the hell did he go in!? I would have been there in less than two hours! If he- if he just- if he just called me! He wouldn’t have fucking died!” Shizuo span around and punched the railing hard, Celty’s shoulders hunched.

 

 _So that’s what that thud was earlier_ she thought, she tapped his shoulder to gain his attention and he calmed himself. [If you need to blame someone, blame the one that took Izaya from you. blaming yourself or Izaya for that matter won’t help you; just don’t do anything rash]

 

“You mean like go rushing off to kill the bastards? Tch. They deserve it”

 

Celty nodded [But Mai needs you. we all do]

 

Shizuo then remembered his dreams, and while he was here talking with Celty, he may as well ask her opinion. “I keep having these weird nightmares” he told her without hesitation, lest he change his mind.

 

[About Izaya?]

 

Shizuo frowned “He’s there. sometimes he’s- just gone. But, most of the time, when the dream’s start, we’re saying goodbye”

 

Celty typed then [You didn’t get the chance to say goodbye, you might have got the chance to tell him you love him, but nobody gets a chance to really say goodbye, maybe your dreams are giving you that chance]

 

Shizuo’s frown deepened “I would understand that, I would. He tells me that he loves me, that he wants me to take care of Mai and be there for everyone else”

 

[That’s good, isn’t it?]

 

Shizuo tensed, a shiver running down his spine “Yes. but it’s what he says after that that I really don’t like to hear”

 

[What do you mean?]

 

“He keeps asking me for help. Keeps saying ‘help me’ and that he’s hurt and cold, that he can’t get out” Celty clutched her phone, she felt his sadness impale her, and she didn’t know how to respond. “It doesn’t mean anything- it just, I don’t like it, it’s too much…I can’t stand to see him like that, even if it was just a nightmare”

 

[Nightmares often do portray things we don’t want to see. Your memories are trying to conjure up moments that you want to change. Shinra tells me there’ll be a memorial service, a place of rest to say goodbye, and then a funeral. Maybe the dreams will stop once it’s over]

 

Shizuo nodded, but he was half hoping, that by a fraction of a moment, that his dreams _did_ mean something. “I thought as much”

 

She tilted her helmet [That’s not the answer you wanted, is it?]

 

Shizuo sighed as he placed his hands in his pockets. “I don’t know what it is that I wanted to hear. I guess I just thought- that maybe it might have meant something, anything….or I’m just trying to save him, even though I know I can’t….”

 

[Go home. Be with Mai. Shinra and I will be there at the service, as I imagine that most of our friends will be]

 

Shizuo nodded “Thank you” he didn’t hug a lot of people, at least, not his friends. But he pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. As he pulled away from her to make his way off the roof, his phone rang. “Damn it, when are people going to just leave me alone” he said through clenched teeth and pulled his phone out. He blinked at the name and sighed. “It’s Kasuka”

 

Celty stepped up beside him [Answer. He’s probably worried about you]

 

Shizuo looked at her and then back to his phone “Yeah. I know” taking a deep breath he clicked to answer and placed the phone to his ear. “Kasuka, sorry I haven’t been in touch-”

 

“Oh! I was wondering if you were ever going to pick up!” Shizuo frowned then, that definitely wasn’t his brother’s voice, the man sounded way too old. “Just to clarify for my benefit, this is Shizuo Heiwajima I’m speaking with isn’t it?”

 

Shizuo’s fist clenched, what the- who the hell was using his brother’s phone! “Who the hell are you and why the fuck do you have my brother’s phone!” There was a loud laugh in his ear and it only made him angrier. “Answer me!”

 

“Of course, of course. My my, you really do have a temper don’t you? Miss Hijiribe said as much”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened “What does she have to do with anything?”

 

“I’m sure your brother must have told you about his relationship with her. As he also must have told you my involvement with her~hm~?”

 

Shizuo’s blood ran cold, it was him, it was- “ _You!_ you sick son of a bitch!”

 

“Yes! you figured it out! You’re much more intelligent than I was aware of. _Yes_ I’m Jinnai Yodogirl” Shizuo could practically hear him grin “Oh by the way. My deepest condolences to you, the loss of one Izaya Orihara, must have hit you hard”

 

Shizuo’s whole body was shaking with anger, “You…You bastard, it was you, I swear to god, I’ll fucking murder you”

 

“Yes of course. You must be so anxious to get revenge, why don’t we settle things? I would hate to leave a job unfinished, I’ve already gotten rid of one obstacle, Izaya was a very annoying thorn in my side. But it doesn’t matter, he won’t be bothering me anymore right?” Shizuo wanted nothing more than to strangle the life out of the man, that laugh, god he felt sick. “Come now. no need for the silent treatment, you can be with him real soon, or maybe you’ll get lucky and take your revenge! Either way, I end you and then- then I’ll take back my daughter”

 

Shizuo could barely contain his gasp of surprise, his legs felt like jelly and he couldn’t breathe. “Wha-”

 

“That’s right! you guessed it! Mai is mine. Poor Sato, he was such a pawn, and that Morito, what a moron! Thinking that he was smuggling in some woman to make good on our ring. I mean, he was, but they just assumed they made a mistake, Sato too; it wasn’t the woman I wanted, it was the baby inside of her”

 

Shizuo felt like he was going to throw up “You- you’re sick…”

 

“Perhaps. I know Russia is a bit out there, but you know, they’re just so easy- to control. Poor sweet thing, thinking she was safe and all-”

 

“Shut up…..”

 

“She had no idea she was even pregnant until it was time for her to leave, she was a rare beauty, and I knew she would provide me with the same talent that Ruri did”

 

Shizuo almost wretched, he grasped the railing, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was only slightly aware that Celty’s hand was on his shoulder, she was probably wondering who the hell he was talking to. “Mai isn’t yours! You sick fucking freak!”

 

Jinnai laughed “Oh, but she is. At least, by blood. Good job by the way, raising her I mean, I have to thank you for that”

 

“You won’t go anywhere near her!”

 

“And you’ll protect her will you? just like you protected Izaya?”

 

Shizuo paled, his breathing rigid and he could barely hold himself together. “You’ll pay for what you did….You will suffer”

 

“Kind of looking forward to it. now, back to the phone I’m using, how did I get a hold of this particular phone in the first place hm?”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened, no…it couldn’t be- “YOU BASTARD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH KASUKA!”

 

“I love how perceptive you are! Honestly, it’s great. Oh just to be clear, I haven’t done anything to him yet, I’m only interested in killing you, it’s your turn now. Izaya is out of the way, so all there is for me to worry about is you. The old abandoned prison house, Ikebukuro, it’s not that far from where you are now actually” Jinnai grinned and then laughed “That’s right, I know where you are, I’ve got my own personal spy. I know that right now, Mairu and Kururi are at your parents’ house with Mai, just like I know that you are at Celty and Shinra’s place”

 

 _How does he know that!?_ “H-how do you-”

 

“Enough questions for now. get over here Shizuo, and come alone, before I take someone else that’s precious to you”

 

Shizuo heard a click and his hand shook before he screamed out in rage, he threw his phone off the roof. “Damn it!!” he was seething “I’m gonna kill him!!”

 

Celty grabbed his arm, he spun around, eyes wide with rage. [What’s going on??]

 

Shizuo’s teeth were clenched “I don’t have time to explain! I have to get to the old prison house in Ikebukuro, now!!”

 

[What?] [Why?]

 

“That was him, that was the guy that- he’s responsible for Izaya’s death, and now, now he- he’s got Kasuka!!”

 

Celty startled [What!?] [Are you sure!?]

 

“He had my brother’s phone Celty!”

 

[B-but it could be a trap!]

 

“I don’t fucking care. I’ll kill every single one of them! He took Izaya from me, and I’ll be damned if I let him take Kasuka too!! I couldn’t- I couldn’t protect Izaya, but I have a chance to save my brother”

 

Celty then nodded [All right. but I’m not letting you go alone; I’m coming with you]

 

“No. he said to go alone, I don’t know what he’ll do if he knows I’ve got help”

 

Celty seemed to sigh [Let’s get Shinra to pull up a map. Then at least let me get you near?]

 

Shizuo chewed his lip “All right. let’s do that”

 

 

……………………..

 

“It looks really secluded” Shinra said as the three stared at the map of the building. “Besides being a prison, it was used for all kinds of things. Warehouses mostly, you’d have had a hard time finding this place if I couldn’t bring this up”

 

Shizuo nudged Celty’s shoulder “Let’s go, I don’t have much time left” the two headed for the door

 

“Shizuo!” Shinra called after them, Shizuo turned back to his friend. “It was mostly warehouse. But there was a point a few years ago, that it was used as a good hideout; the walls are so thick, that nothing would break through, not even a person’s scream. Several people were taken there to be- erm- questioned” Shizuo didn’t want to think about what they were planning to do with his brother, but Shinra’s insight was appreciated. “Just be careful” Shizuo nodded. “And one more thing” Shinra narrowed his eyes. “Make him pay”

 

A grin formed on Shizuo’s face; one he hadn’t portrayed in a long time. “I plan to”

 

………………………

 

“Stop here!” Shizuo hollered over the fast whipping wind. Celty’s bike screeched to a halt, they were just a few blocks away from the building.

 

[I really should go with you]

 

“I’ll be fine. Honest. I don’t care if it is a trap, I’m the fortissimo of Ikebukuro aren’t I? or so I’m told” his face changed, and he lay a hand on her shoulder. “If something does happen to me, take care of Mai….and tell her that I love her and that I’m sorry”

 

Celty reached out for him but he turned and ran. She tensed with determination running through her. _No way, no way will I let you go this alone_ She looked at her phone _no way will anyone else let you either_ as quickly as she could, she set up a large group chat and typed frantically

 

:Everyone! Shizuo needs your help!-

 

 

Shizuo kicked angrily at the door to the entrance and it split in half and crashed to the floor. There was a wide corridor in his path, the lights were dim and flicking with unstable electricity. Gritting his teeth he ran inside, fists raised and ready to beat the shit of anyone that tried anything. “Kasuka!!” he called out and then stopped when a voice called out to him over the speakers that hung from the tops of the walls.

 

“Bravo! You made it! welcome Shizuo Heiwajima….to your end” Shizuo ignored the voice and stopped at the end of the corridor “Which way will he go!” Shizuo growled loudly “Go right”

 

“Like I’m going to do anything you say!”

 

“Oh, don’t you remember? I want you to find Kasuka. I’m only interested in you, you get to your brother, see that he’s unharmed and we have ourselves a little fun”

 

Shizuo clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. He turned and ripped a metal thin column from the floor, dragging it with him as he indeed turned right. Shizuo’s anger rose with every stride he took, his thoughts on his brother, and what that might mean for Ruri, did she betray him? Or did that sicko manipulate her into helping him capture Kasuka? That might explain why Jinnai had his phone and got to him in the first place. Maybe she was the spy Jinnai mentioned earlier? But there was no way of her knowing where the hell the twins were, or him for that matter, unless she had been following them. There was a ring coming from his grey shirt, Izaya had taught him to keep a spare cell phone, since he always managed to break his main one. But- the only people that knew this phone number was Izaya and Kasuka. He lifted the phone to his ear and waited for them to answer first.

 

“Shizuo?”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened “Kasuka?”

 

“Yes. sorry, my phone has been stolen-”

 

“Kasuka! You’re ok!?”

 

“I’m fine, I’m in traffic right now, listen- where are you? Ruri has some important information to tell you- and-”

 

Shizuo frowned, there was clearly a bad reception, either from his end- or Kasuka was going under a tunnel. “What? I can’t hear you properly, are you sure you’re ok!?”

 

“I’m really ok. where are you?”

 

Shizuo clenched his fist. It was a trap after all. _Damn it!_ “Tch. I’m in an old prison house. Don’t fucking ask why. I thought- I thought you were in trouble”

 

“I see. I suspected as much, Ruri took my phone and gave it to Jinnai”

 

Shizuo growled angrily “What!? Why!?”

 

“Because he threatened her with my life. She didn’t want anything to happen to me, she told me everything after”

 

“He’s dead! He’s so fucking dead!”

 

“Shizuo! Wait! There’s something else you need to know! she said that-was- an-” then the line went completely dead.

 

“Kasuka!” Shizuo yelled but got no response. He sighed, at least his brother was safe. Shizuo looked up to see three men running toward him, he glanced behind him and saw three more.

 

“Aww! Is my cover story blown all ready? Darn, I guess the only thing for you to do is find me”

 

Shizuo had to laugh a little. “Yeah. I definitely walked into a trap. Damn it, what a pain. Sorry for being such a hot head…Izaya” Shizuo narrowed his eyes, the memory of his partner caused his anger to rise and he dragged the column forward and smashed it against all three men in front of him. He span around and then smashed his fist into one of the other’s, he kicked out against another and then cracked his head against the middle one. They screamed loudly and then Shizuo sent them each flying with a fist. His breathing was heavy, mostly from anger and he continued to run in the direction he had been heading.

 

“Good! You’re getting so close! Just a few more turns and you’re there!”

 

Shizuo couldn’t stop the words from Jinnai playing through his head, Mai was really- related to that sick freak? He was really the one that fathered her. His stomach lurched at the thought of what he did to that woman- what he wanted to do with Mai- what he had done to Izaya- and what he had planned for him. Anger boiled within him, he’d get his revenge, Jinnai had no idea who he was messing with. _You’re dead, you’re so fricking dead!_

 

“Stop! You have arrived at your destination!”

 

Shizuo growled at the voice, he was tired of playing around, if Jinnai wanted to see what he was capable of, then he was going to be one sorry dead man. Shizuo’s hand hovered over the handle of the door, something didn’t feel right all of a sudden, and he had a feeling that Jinnai wasn’t really behind this door. but then again, he probably knew that, deep down.

 

“Come on! What are you waiting for? Go ahead”

 

Shizuo came here, prepared for anything- but yet, a feeling of uneasiness passed through him, his thoughts drifted to Mai, could he really put himself in danger without knowing what the consequences would be?

 

“Open it!”

 

Shizuo glared up at the speaker, eyes narrowing when he spotted a camera beside it. “Go to hell!”

 

Jinnai laughed “Soon perhaps. Go through the door Shizuo, trust me” there was another laugh, sicklier than the last “Someone in there would be most grateful to see you”

 

Shizuo gritted his teeth, fists clenched, and he turned to the door. a feeling of cold fear crept over him and he braced his hand on the handle once more. Shizuo shook, his heart thudded against his chest, wondering what the hell he was going to find. Kasuka was fine, right? or was that just a recording they’d made him say? _Oh god, Kasuka…..please_ as Shizuo pushed against the handle, the door opened slowly as he pushed it forward. He took a cautious step inside, he glanced around the dimly lit room, there was nothing to suggest it was a prison cell. _Probably one of those rooms Shinra was talking about_ the room was plain, hardly anything screamed trap to him. So where the hell was- and then his heart stopped, his body froze as his gaze finally landed on him- arms were bound to a large metal pole, knelt down with his head lowered, his clothes torn in several places, there was a large number of visible cuts and bruises, his hair was matted to his face, and Shizuo could see the blood running down one side. He wanted to step forward, but he didn’t think his legs would hold out. This wasn’t Kasuka….. and the name passed his lips before he could even think about it. “It- it can’t be….Izaya…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did everyone gasp at the exact same moment? 
> 
> I hope that healed some sad hearts!
> 
> There were a lot of theories and some were close :)
> 
> But the truth about how it happened is yet to be revealed


	13. In the clutches of evil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! everyone's responses have been amazing throughout this story!
> 
> Thank you all for following, I hope to not disappoint with the explanations to come in this chapter
> 
> More twists, more angst!

His body remained frozen, his heart skipped every other beat, his mind unable to comprehend how the person that was before him was alive. It was impossible! He was shot in the head! Shizuo had held him in that apartment for almost an hour; the blond clenched his fists, Izaya had been- he wasn’t breathing, never moved a single muscle, his lips were-they were blue….

 

Shizuo’s breathing became erratic, this wasn’t happening, it couldn’t be happening. “I’m seeing things….” He managed to stutter out, he had barely come to terms with Izaya’s death and now- to be forced into an illusional state, to see the possibility of his lover’s resurrection; it was cruel….beyond anything he’d ever experienced. Shizuo blinked hard, hoping to get his mind back under control, to see that it was not Izaya, that it was a trick. “This isn’t real…” he muttered.

 

A sudden laugh came over the speaker, and Shizuo had almost forgotten that he wasn’t technically alone, at least not in the theoretical sense. “I imagine how gut retching this must be for you!” Shizuo clenched his fists after he heard that sick tone, he wanted to crush him, slowly. Shizuo had never wanted to kill a person up until now, not even when he and Izaya used to hate each other a long time ago. Now, the sudden urge to do so, to want to hurt someone so badly, enough to kill with his own two hands, and it scared him. “He’s been suffering and you-” another laugh “You’ve been planning his funeral! Isn’t that ironic?” the reality of what he’d just been told come crashing down on him, no….

 

Izaya _is_ alive

 

It’s not an illusion

 

He had been alive all this time

 

Shizuo swallowed the bile that threatened to rise up in his throat, his breathing quickened as he stared at the crouched figure within the dim lighting.

 

Izaya was there

 

Izaya had been _here_

 

All this time

 

In the two weeks that Shizuo was mourning him, believing that he was gone; meant that while he was doing absolutely nothing, Izaya had been-

 

Shizuo’s whole body shook with supressed rage, his mind began to see nothing, but red. _Kill kill kill kill_ he was going to rip them all to shreds, whoever had laid a finger on Izaya was going to feel his own crushing their fucking windpipes! _They’re-so-dead, I’ll kill them…._ Shizuo gritted his teeth, his fists clenched so tightly that his fingernails were drawing blood within his palms. Suddenly, his mind came back into focus for a moment; while killing Jinnai was at the very forefront of his thoughts, getting Izaya out of here was his first priority. _If he’s really alive_ Shizuo shook his head, there wouldn’t have been much of a point to lead him here if only to discover the raven really was- he supposed there might have been, Jinnai was sick like that.

 

Shizuo forced himself to step forward, he couldn’t help the tremors that ran through him with every step he took. Who knows what had happened in the past two weeks. Shizuo knelt down in front of his lover, he lifted his hand to gently pry some black strands away from his face. There were slightly fading bruises covering his eye, his cheekbone and his mouth. A large gash had clotted at the side of his forehead, and the blood had run down his face. Shizuo tried to control his anger, he pulled back his hand when a soft whimper came from Izaya. Shizuo sighed, at least he knew for sure that he was alive, he reached up to stroke the side of Izaya’s head that wasn’t injured. “Izaya, Shhh. It’s ok, I’m here”

 

Izaya tried to flinch away, the sudden movement caused an agonised hiss to escape his lips. “No….more….please” Shizuo clenched a fist, it was obvious that Izaya hadn’t heard him, or he had, but misinterpreted his voice. First things first; Shizuo shifted around to get a look at the restraints that bound Izaya to the pole. His arm sleeves were torn, allowing him to catch a glimpse of what looked like poorly stitched cuts. They looked deep, and swollen slightly, so they were probably infected. Shizuo growled angrily but ignored them for now, he could see the handcuffs closed tightly around Izaya’s wrists, so much so that there was a thin line of fresh blood around them. It meant that the raven had most likely tried to get his hands free without any regard for the damage. Shizuo had hoped for handcuffs, because they were easier to break apart then if it were rope. As gently as he could without causing any further pain to Izaya, Shizuo grasped the metal in both hands and gave it a hard yank, the metal broke immediately.

 

Quickly securing Izaya’s form, allowing the raven to lean against him, he wrapped his arms gently around his body, careful of his strength. “Izaya, we’re getting out of here” Shizuo told him as he shifted to his knees, making sure that Izaya was close against his chest. Izaya whimpered when Shizuo tried to stand up, which might have caused his grip to tighten slightly. “Izaya, can you hear me?” the blond didn’t make another attempt to stand for the moment, he shifted Izaya to try and get a better look at him, Shizuo hoped that Izaya would at least open his eyes enough to see that it was him. “Please open your eyes” he still couldn’t believe this was happening, his gut feeling had been right all along, even in his dreams! How much had Izaya suffered while he had been grieving? “What happened to you….”

 

Shizuo stiffened when the sound of footsteps approached from behind. “To put it rather bluntly, he basically became Jinnai’s test subject” having a voice to the footsteps caused anger to surge through him. There was considerate mocking to the other’s tone when he said his next sentence. “Well, I suppose having him as a personal punching bag for a few days doesn’t count” there was a menacing laugh “That was purely for my benefit really. A somewhat reward for my efforts to trail him. He made a great one though, nothing but a few grunts of pain every now and then, even when I broke a few bones; I was impressed. It’s no fun though if there’s no screaming. So I left the rest up to Jinnai”

 

Shizuo’s blood ran cold as he pulled Izaya closer to him and stood up, turning around to face the man who had caused some of the informant’s injuries. He was finally able to put a face to the voice, but he didn’t recognise him. “You bastard. I’ll make pay you a thousand times more for what you did”

 

The man grinned and stepped forward “Is that so?”

 

There was a weak grip on his arm, the blond looked down, even though Izaya wasn’t all that aware of what was going on around him, that it was Shizuo whose arms he was in; the raven was mindful of which voice belonged to the one that caused him pain. The voice that belonged to one whose arms were holding him securely, sounded trustworthy. He couldn’t quite place the voice, couldn’t figure out why it sounded so familiar to him, his mind was so foggy and the pain that had been dulled from being unconscious, was slowly coming back.

 

“How exactly are you going to make me pay when you hold what matters most to you in your arms?” the vile man raised his arm up and Shizuo didn’t hesitate to turn around when the gun in the other’s hand was fired. Shizuo hissed slightly when a bullet pierced the back of his left thigh. He tried to remain on his feet, his hold on Izaya never faltered. “How predictable!” another bullet struck him in the opposite leg, just below his knee. “Is it really worth protecting him now? I doubt he’ll survive much longer with the drug that’s been introduced into his system”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened, he looked at Izaya carefully, the man was pale, and his grip tightened every few seconds, as if trying to hold back how much pain he was in. Shizuo was forced onto his knees eventually when a bullet pierced his right side. Was that true? Did they poison him? He had to get the fuck out of here, if whatever they’d given Izaya was recent, he might have enough time to save him. Shinra sprang to his mind instantly, he’d know what to do; though he might have to get over the shock of seeing Izaya first. Gunshot wounds or not, Shizuo was getting Izaya out. The blond stood up, ignoring the wave of dizziness he felt from what was probably blood loss; Shizuo growled angrily as he turned to face the attacker. “You’re dead. You’re so dead” he gritted out and before he could attempt to place Izaya out of harms way, something akin to a crowbar smashed against the head of the man before him.

 

Shizuo blinked in surprise and then a shot was fired, Shizuo didn’t need to see to know that their attacker wasn’t going to get back up.  Shizuo pulled Izaya closer to him as another set of footsteps approached and stepped out from the shadowy corner of the room. Shizuo glared at the other occupant in the room, spitting the word venomously. “ _You_ ”

 

“I can explain” Satoshi spoke calmly, though he was anything but, if Shizuo didn’t hear him out, nothing would stop the blond from throttling him.

 

“You- how could you- I fucking trusted you!”

 

Satoshi clenched his fists, flinching under Shizuo’s vengeful stare. “I didn’t think it would go this far…”

 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean!?”

 

“I was- I was just supposed to bring him here….you weren’t meant to think he was dead. I wanted you to search for him, because I knew that you would find him; but the plan changed and Jinnai conjured up a different one, one that would make you suffer too”

 

“Tell me why!? And if I don’t like your answer, I will break every bone in your body, because you are just as guilty as him there and that Jinnai freak! Even though I might just do it anyway”

 

Satoshi nodded “It- it all started when Izaya showed up with a baby at Sato’s office…”

 

Shizuo wasn’t sure he’d heard right “That was years ago!”

 

“You remember, I was undercover back then. Truth is, I had been for some time, and what I told you both after that was true. That there was a higher boss calling the shots, but I couldn’t figure out who it was. I tried to get Izaya to work with me several times before I just ended up going undercover. Do you remember Shiki and the group of Ueno’s little setup back when you and Izaya first started getting close to each other?”

 

Shizuo growled at the memory “I wanted to beat the living shit out of them too” and then he gave a grunt of surprise “Wait, are you telling me that Jinnai was linked with all that, even back then!?” he couldn’t believe it, there was no way-

 

“Shiki and that group was already a syndicate for Jinnai’s growing business. Izaya’s and your involvement wasn’t anticipated, and they were extremely worried that Izaya was going to get the chance to further expose him. At the time, Izaya wasn’t even aware of Jinnai’s existence, so Jinnai initially came up with a plan for Shiki and his group to set him up”

 

Shizuo growled, his head hurt “And Sakura? What about her?”

 

“Unrelated. Sakura’s involvement was some plot made up by the Ueno gang’s initial leader, Hiroshi I think it was, that was back before Shiki merged with them to form their other plan. The club that Shiki made was actually Jinnai’s. Once Jinnai found out that Izaya had taken the bullet meant for you and survived, he boarded the first plane to Russia. Jinnai didn’t expect Izaya to change that drastically, he hid because he knew that the Awakusu would be after him”

 

Shizuo wished he could have sat down, his mind was on overload, he didn’t have the mind to process such information in that short amount of time. Shizuo looked down at Izaya “Does he know?”

 

“More or less. I didn’t have to tell him anything, Jinnai couldn’t wait to brag about it”

 

Shizuo gritted his teeth “Does Izaya know that the sick bastard is Mai’s father?”

 

“He does”

 

“And that’s because Jinnai forced that woman to-” Shizuo bit his lip, unwilling to speak of it. “When he fled to Russia”

 

“Right”

 

“So whatever happened between the time Izaya was shot and after we became civil partners, had nothing to do with Jinnai”

 

Satoshi shook his head “No. he was in Russia, he came back before the woman was smuggled in, at the time, Izaya was no threat to him anymore; that is- until you both became involved when you found Mai”

 

Shizuo sighed in frustration and then he remembered what the dead man on the floor had said. _Test subject_ Shizuo’s heartbeat raced “I’m fully aware now of what Jinnai and this sicko are capable of. Given what he did to that woman in order to get Mai, I have to know,” Shizuo swallowed the lump in his throat as he tightened his hold on his lover. “Did they-”

 

It took a few seconds to understand what Shizuo was asking, and Satoshi clenched his fists before replying “No. nothing like that happened, I swear” Shizuo seemed to sigh in relief “I’d have killed anyone if they tried”

 

Shizuo glared up at him then “You brought him here in the fucking first place!! And you still have yet to tell me why! So Jinnai was around years before we even knew, before you even found out, who the hell gives a damn!” he gritted his teeth. “Tell me why you brought him here, why you relayed whatever Izaya told you back to Jinnai. Before I break your neck” Satoshi shook, he didn’t know what to do now, it didn’t matter anymore anyway- because he’d already shot and killed Ruri’s stalker. “Tell me!”

 

“Jinnai has my family”

 

Shizuo blinked in surprise, he wasn’t expecting that kind of answer, more along the lines of- ‘I was fired from being a cop and lost my way’ or something lame like that, but not a solid confession of truth, if that was the truth. Shizuo could tell though, by Satoshi’s frightened actions, how hesitant he was to tell him.

 

“I- I haven’t seen them in months. I only get pictures of them sent to me every time I delivered information back to Jinnai, just to tell me they’re still alive”

 

Shizuo growled angrily, “Before I even think about believing you, tell me one more thing. What happened at the apartment with Izaya”

 

* * *

Izaya reached the floor of his apartment, he took out his phone after hearing it bleep. Izaya smiled, reading the message he’d received as he made his way through the corridor.

 

:See you soon, I love you xxx:

 

Izaya was about to type a reply when he noticed that his door was ajar, and the latch was broken. Frowning, he placed his phone back in his pocket and pulled out his knife. He slowly tapped the door with the blade, pushing it open and taking few cautious steps inside. There was no sign of immediate danger, he stepped forward again. There was a loud click to his right, and Izaya all but froze when he felt something press against his temple. “You had enough warnings Izaya, it’s over, no more chances, you lose”

 

Cold fear swept over and down his spine, and suddenly his life flashed before him. Shizuo at the forefront of his thoughts.

Izaya’s eyes clenched, tears prickled under them _Shizu-chan, Mai….._

Then-

 

BANG

 

Izaya let out an agonised yell as pain shot through his leg, he fell forward before using his good leg to stop himself from collapsing. Spinning around, Izaya’s plan was to make a cut deep enough to throw his attacker off so he could make a quick enough escape. His plan faltered however when the hand of his intruder lifted up the mask that he seemed to be wearing. Izaya glared at him, he shouldn’t be all that surprised, though he was really hoping it had been one of those times he was wrong. “I never pegged you as a traitor” Izaya gritted out as he tried to place his weight on his good leg.

 

“Sorry Izaya. But I don’t have a choice” Satoshi replied as he pulled out a metal cylinder and attached it to his Beretta. Anger overcame the informant and he lunged at Satoshi; pain danced in his vision as he felt another bullet pierce his shoulder. The sound was muffled this time and Izaya could only imagine it was to lesson the alert of the other neighbours. Izaya collapsed to the ground with a hiss as his injured leg took the fall first. Satoshi looked down at him and tried to remain unaffected by the pain he was causing. “You have no idea”

 

Izaya rolled onto his back and glared up at the officer, a hand firmly gripped around his shoulder. “Oh I don’t?” Izaya shifted to lean up against his elbow “About how Jinnai has your family?”

 

Satoshi blinked, no, he couldn’t know- “What are you talking about?”

 

“I know. when I figured out that you had suddenly betrayed me, I wanted to find out why, and after a few months, I did”

 

“But- then- why didn’t confront me?”

 

“Because I wanted you to keep thinking as though I knew nothing. So my question is…why didn’t you come to me for help?”

 

Satoshi got angry then and slammed his foot against Izaya’s shoulder. The raven bit back a yell of pain as he was forcibly pressed to the floor. “I did! I fucking tried! I tried to get you to work with me, but you always declined”

 

Izaya gritted his teeth, Satoshi took his foot away. “All those other times…..don’t count. I’m talking about…when Jinnai first took your family, after he found out….you were a cop”

 

Satoshi grabbed his hair in frustration “Because I was trying to protect you. I tried to warn you off before Jinnai even started to. By then I just couldn’t stop him anymore, and I needed to keep my family safe” Satoshi pulled out a syringe.

 

Izaya eyed the needle closely “How do you know he hasn’t already killed them?” Satoshi crouched down and Izaya tried to scoot away from him. “They could be dead, and you would doing this for no reason” there was panic in his voice, mainly because he had no idea what was in the syringe.

 

“Do you know. that in Alabama and Arkansas, they used drugs as a means of execution?”

 

Izaya’s eyes widened “You can’t be serious?”

 

“There’s a three drug lethal injection combination. Midazolam, vecuronium bromide and potassium chloride”

 

Izaya tried to rack his brain, tried to think if he’d read about that somewhere before. hadn’t that only been a couple of years ago? Something about a documentary, what was that called? Izaya paled. **Life and death row: The Mass Execution.**

 

“So you do know about it” Satoshi said after seeing the raven’s expression. “In 2017 an Alabama inmate tried to appeal with the court to postpone his execution, do you know why?” Izaya really didn’t want to know “Because one of the drugs in the three-drug lethal injection combination, could contribute to prolonged torture”

 

Izaya kicked out with his good leg “You’re a fucking coward! I’d rather be shot in the head!”

 

“You will be” Izaya stopped his frantic attempts to keep Satoshi away from him. “At least, to everyone else”

 

Izaya didn’t even want to know what that meant. _What the hell do they plan to do to me?_ Either way, it didn’t seem at all appealing. He was either going to be drugged to death or shot in the head. Izaya glanced at the clock above the television, he still had to stall Satoshi for another hour. _One more hour and Shizu-chan will be here_

 

Satoshi followed Izaya’s line of sight and sighed “You won’t be able to stall long enough” Izaya narrowed his eyes and before he could ask the question, Satoshi beat him to it. “How did I know Shizuo would be here soon?” Izaya closed his mouth before he really got himself killed. Satoshi stood up, walked over to the phone that was sat on the end table of the couch and pressed play.

 

Izaya’s heart clenched when he heard Shizuo’s voice come over the speaker. “Hey Izaya…erm, it’s me, Shizuo, obviously. I’m not sure if I should bring anything- or… you probably have whatever you need for dinner, I can’t wait to see you, I just want to hold you and forget everything that happened. I know we still need to talk, but, I just wanted to let you know that I’m never leaving your side again. See you at seven, I love you” a quick bleep ended the voicemail. Satoshi walked back over to Izaya, who had shifted at least a few metres toward the door by now.

 

“You can’t escape, and please don’t try”

 

Izaya shook his head, trying his best to keep his distance. “Do you really think that your family is going to be freed if you do this? What if he gets what he needs from you-which I’m to assume at this point that what he wants is me-and he just kills them anyway? He did it to Ruri. She went along with whatever Jinnai asked of her to keep her father alive, but the truth was that he’d already killed him”

 

“Shut _up_ ” Satoshi emphasised his last word by kicking the informant in the side. Izaya coughed, curling slightly in order to protect himself from future hits. “Please Izaya, just shut up. I don’t want to do this, but I have no choice. There is no other way now, it’s too late”

 

“If you’re going to kill me, can you at least make it quick? Isn’t that the least you could do for me?”

 

Satoshi bit his lip, he honestly wished that he had been ordered to kill him. “I’m not here to kill you Izaya. You said it yourself, that what Jinnai wants is you”

 

Izaya gasped in realization “I didn’t mean- I thought he just wanted me dead”

 

“I honestly wish that were true. At one point he did, but he’s changed his mind”

 

Izaya became frantic, he kicked out against Satoshi’s leg hard and tried to get to his feet. Pain burned its way up his leg as he felt another bullet rip into his skin, he barely had time to place his foot on the ground before collapsing. Izaya cried out in frustration, he couldn’t stop the fear pulsing through his body, couldn’t stop the angry prickle of tears at his eyelids as he watched Satoshi kneel beside him. “Are you seriously going to just hand me over to that fucking psycho!?”

 

“The three-drug injection comprises of midazolam, which sedates; vecuronium bromide, to paralyse the muscles; and finally, potassium chloride, to stop the heart”

 

Izaya clenched his fists, he almost felt sorry for those who were executed this way. If he remembered the documentary right, there was a botched failed execution in Oklahoma which reportedly took forty three minutes as the inmate thrashed on the gurney, writhing and groaning. But if what Satoshi said was true, that he wasn’t to be killed, then what the hell did they put in that syringe?

 

As if reading the next question on his mind, Satoshi spoke again “Each of the drugs were delivered at a dose that could theoretically kill the inmate; though they had drawbacks. But that was for executions; inmates on death row. Since you’re not going to be killed, these have been lessoned significantly”

 

Izaya gave a disdainful laugh “Lucky me”

 

“The doses were given separately. But Jinnai has been experimenting with a drug enhancer, or at least, he hired him. Perhaps you know him, since you started it”

 

Izaya’s eyes widened, it couldn’t be- _I knew that legal drug club was going to come back and bite me in the ass._ As had many things he’d done in the past. But up until now, he had forgotten all about it, it wasn’t as if he needed to keep that memory attached to him. It was a club that he and Nakura had started during college, there was another boy, Hiroto Shinto; who proved to be very proficient at mixing substances. Izaya had abandoned the club due to boredom. What exactly was Hiroto doing with someone like Jinnai anyway? And with such a harmful comprise of drugs.

 

“This new combined drug of the three has been tested on rats and mice. Jinnai wants you to be the first _human_ for it to be tested on. It works in the same way the three did separately, except for the fact that it’s not-fatal”

 

Izaya frowned “You’re going to stop my heart, how is that not fatal!?”

 

“Because it’s temporary”

 

Izaya opened his mouth, but there were no words to describe how fucking stupid that sounded. He was very aware of the struggle that was taking place within Satoshi, Izaya assumed that Satoshi was supposed to act as though he really wasn’t bothered by what he was doing, yet he’d slipped up many times now that even his act of enjoyment was pathetic. Izaya tried to move away but it was useless now, the wounds that were already inflicted on him had caused what he knew to be blood loss. He felt weak now even without the drug that Satoshi was holding. The informant clenched his eyes shut, if only to hide the fear in them.

 

“I am sorry” Satoshi said before yanking up the sleeve of Izaya’s jacket and shirt, he took the safety cover off the needle with his teeth and before the raven could try and defend against it again, Satoshi quickly stuck the needle into the vein that was situated in the crook of his arm.

 

“Fuck!” Izaya shouted, he glared angrily at Satoshi “I hope Shizuo crushes you…”

 

Satoshi frowned “He won’t even know it’s me. He’ll be too busy mourning you” he stood up when the sound of a voice on his radio interrupted them. Satoshi pulled it off his belt and clicked the side button. “This is Satoshi, go ahead officer”

 

#Satoshi. There’s been a call in, a resident reported a gunfire on the top floor of an apartment in Ikebukuro#

 

“Seriously? ok, I’ll check it out. Where abouts in the city?”

 

#Tread carefully Satoshi. I’ve sent another officer for back up since he’s around the area. I think this might be a personal matter for you#

 

“How so?”

 

#I think the apartment building is where that Orihara friend of yours lives#

 

Satoshi gasped for effect “Oh god…

 

#If it looks bad, don’t hesitate to call for more back up. It could be nothing though#

 

“O-ok, thanks….” After clicking off his radio, he then made a call in for an ambulance _they should get here around the same time as the other officer_ Satoshi looked at Izaya who was fighting the sedation with tremendous effort. “The longer you fight it, the worse it’ll be when the Bromide kicks in”

 

Izaya had already begun to feel the effects taking place, could no longer move the lower parts of his body, and his arms were going numb. “You don’t….have to do….this. please…” his eyelids felt heavy and his surroundings were beginning to blur.

 

“It’s too late” Satoshi watched the informant closely, there was a twitch of his fingers trying to keep himself from going completely paralysed, then his eyes closed, and his body stilled as he slowly stopped breathing. “Sorry….” Satoshi turned his attention toward the kitchen “Get in here”

 

A black haired woman with a red ribbon in her hair, wearing a long purple top and black jeans walked into the room. She looked down at Izaya with guilt and regret, rubbing her arm with nervousness. “What am I supposed to do?” she looked up at Satoshi, frowning, she could easily take him down, but the thought of even the slightest thing going wrong- it would mean serious danger befalling on Kasuka. All it would take was for Satoshi to quickly contact Jinnai and her old talent scouter would send someone after him in a heartbeat. She wished she had contacted Shizuo before this, because nobody laid a finger on his brother while he was around.

 

“Just do what you’ve been asked. Cover up his injuries and make damn sure there’s a very believable gunshot wound at the side of his head”

 

Ruri continued to frown as she knelt beside Izaya, she lay her hand over his shoulder “These should be treated, not covered up”

 

Satoshi sighed “If they’re treated it will look suspicious. Just do what you’re told”

 

She nodded slowly and set down her case beside her, she opened it up and began sorting out all the tools she usually used on a movie set. Guilt clung to her, she didn’t want to imagine what Shizuo was going to do once he found out, _if_ , if he found out. Ruri shuddered, she knew what Jinnai was capable of first-hand, and it pained her to know that she was helping them in their plan to capture Izaya. She glanced over to see Satoshi remove the camouflaged reel of carpet from the floor, hating their clever methods. Izaya probably didn’t even notice the difference, now there was no traces of blood on the floor from where he’d struggled.

 

After half an hour of making sure her work was complete, she sighed and sat back on her heels, tucking one side of her hair behind her ear. “I’m done”

 

Satoshi walked over to them, he stared for a few moments and then nodded his approval. “You really are good, even his lips are blue” there was a sound of sirens within earshot and Satoshi took his phone out. “It’s me. They’re almost here be sure to make the swap without any trouble, if someone sees you we’re all done for” placing his phone back in his pocket he looked at Ruri. “Better make yourself scarce. Unless you want Shizuo to see you here”

 

Ruri stood up with her now closed case, she gave a final look of regret toward Izaya and ran out of the apartment.

 

Satoshi relaxed a little and began to put on latex gloves, he pulled out a reel of caution tape from the pocket of his vest. “This is a crime scene after all” he said to himself. He glanced at the clock, there wasn’t much time left until Shizuo showed up. “This has to be timed perfectly. No room for errors, those idiots better make it quick” he glanced up then as a young male officer appeared within the doorway. Damn. He liked him too, he’d have made a good cop one day.

 

“Sir. I was sent from division as your back up- is it-” the man glanced down, cutting himself off before sighing “-True…”

 

Satoshi frowned and his expression changed into a deep sadness. “We were good friends. I didn’t want to believe he was the victim”

 

The young male bowed “I’m sorry sir”

 

Satoshi coughed a little, looking over at Izaya, true regret in his eyes now _me too_ “Ok. We must remain detached for now; we still have a job to do”

 

The man stood straight and nodded with a forced frown. “Right” he began to place his own latex gloves on. “No sign of the intruder?”

 

Satoshi shook his head “No. the lock was picked, no sign of forced entry”

 

“Damn”

 

Satoshi glanced at the reel of carpet he’d chucked off to the side, he looked over at the other officer. _Good, he hasn’t noticed it yet, I need to be careful_ “Listen. I got this for now, just take watch outside”

 

The man blinked “A-are you sure?”

 

“We can’t have unwanted visitors prying around”

 

“Ok”

 

Satoshi watched his trainee make his way outside, he sighed and then grabbed the carpet and removed it from sight. Satoshi glanced at his watch, Shizuo was going to be here any minute, he was beginning to get nervous; what if Izaya woke up sooner then expected? What if Shizuo noticed the false wound? Satoshi then heard another set of sirens below, this had to work, or else his family would pay the price.

 

An ambulance slowed to a quick stop outside the apartment building, and before the two paramedics could step out of the vehicle, two men in dark clothes stood on either side of the doors. One of them opened the door fully and laughed. “Change of plans gentlemen. This shout is ours” two silent shots were made from both men and the paramedics collapsed forward. “Hurry up. Before anyone starts to gather around here” the other man nodded, and they squeezed themselves into the van. The bodies were forced into the back and stripped of their uniforms. “I wanted to be a paramedic once” the first one joked

 

“Ha. Really?”

 

A shrug “Only for a little while. But having this kind of power is much more fun”

 

 

………………………

 

Satoshi heard the sound of a loud yell from outside the apartment. It made his skin crawl; he was going to find out if their plan would work or not. Satoshi took a deep breath and quickly made his way outside. “Shizuo…..I was going to call you from the-”

 

“Where is he!?” Shizuo grabbed Satoshi by the collar

 

“There was a call from one of the residents. Saying they heard a gunshot…..I took the call….and- it looked like there was a break in, I’m- I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

 

Shizuo’s eyes clouded over “You’re lying…”

 

“I wish I was…..It was a fatal blow Shizuo, he- he was shot in the head”

 

Shizuo’s breathing became ragged, he shoved Satoshi backwards “You’re lying!” and before Satoshi could stop him, Shizuo ran past him, the other officer stepped between the door. “Get the fuck out of my way!”

 

The policemen stared at him with fear, he glanced over at Satoshi and the man nodded. “Let him through….” Satoshi said as he stepped behind the blond and the other man stepped to the side with his head inclined in sadness.

 

Satoshi watched as Shizuo knelt beside Izaya, he was nervous and tried his best not to panic, but his expression showed regret and sorrow, and that was what he truly felt.

 

He would speak every now and then, trying to at least distract Shizuo enough to prevent him from taking notice. He never expected the heart-breaking display before him, more guilt filled his heart.

 

 

……….……………….

 

“Izaya….” Shizuo whispered “How am I supposed to tell Mai? How do I tell her that she won’t be able to see you again? That she won’t be able to tell you about her day at school, or that you won’t see her graduate, or walk her down the aisle when she gets married, or….or even meet her child if she were to have one….how do I tell her all that?”

 

After hearing that, Satoshi almost caved, almost told him, but the image of his family flashed in his mind and he stopped himself. His palms were beginning to sweat now, and he tried to keep the fear out of his voice, Shizuo had been here long enough and Satoshi was beginning to worry that Izaya would wake up before he could get the blond out of the apartment. There was no doubt that the plan had worked so far, Shizuo now believed Izaya was dead, he just needed to get him to release his hold on the informant and leave. “If you need my help in anyway, if breaking the news to his family is too much....I can-“

 

“No” Shizuo said without hesitation. “I need to be the one....I owe them that, it- it should come from me”

 

Satoshi nodded “I understand. Don’t hesitate to ask for my help, this is going to be a very difficult time for all of you” every lie that came from his mouth was making it that much harder, he didn’t know how long he could keep this up.

 

Satoshi flinched when Shizuo brushed back strands of Izaya’s hair, Ruri’s work was indeed impressive, absolutely none of her work was doubted, and Shizuo’s emotional distress helped too. “I love you....” Shizuo kissed him on the lips once more. “I’m sorry....I’m sorry for not being there for you....if I hadn’t had left, you’d still be-“ Shizuo swallowed the lump in his throat “What do I do without you? How am I supposed to live without you by my side?” Shizuo’s tears fell from his cheeks, dampening the jacket Izaya was wearing. “It’s all my fault.....if I just- if I hadn’t had been so consumed by anger, _god,_ why did I leave you alone!” and Satoshi’s breath hitched as Shizuo looked up at him, a desperate look in his eyes, and Satoshi wanted to throw up when the blond said his next words. “Please....please take care of him”

 

 _Damn it_ Satoshi could only nod and then a thought crossed his mind before he replied, “I’ll be with him every step-” and he truly meant that, he couldn’t back out of this, but he’d be damned if Izaya dealt with whatever Jinnai had planned alone. He’d be with him, even if he couldn’t do anything to help, he’d just be there. “-I’ll make sure his body is treated with the upmost respect. I promise” another lie, but he had no choice. “When the evidence has been gained. I’ll see to it myself that his personal belongings are returned to you. Once the autopsy has been completed, you’ll be the first to know”

 

And finally, Shizuo released his hold on Izaya and gently laid him on the floor. Once again, Satoshi almost caved when Shizuo said “I love you….” and after what seemed like a long time, Shizuo turned away and Satoshi watched him walk out of the apartment.

 

He sighed in relief once the blond was out of sight, only to turn his attention to Izaya just as his chest heaved slightly and eyes fluttered. Their plan had almost failed, if Shizuo stayed another minute longer- Satoshi glanced over at the door, he could hear Shizuo’s distant cry of anguish; looking back at Izaya, Satoshi wondered if he could hear it too.

 

Izaya’s eyesight was barely working, he could make out colours and a figure blurred slightly into focus, he still couldn’t move his body and he wasn’t even sure he was breathing. Izaya could hardly feel his heartbeat against his chest, however; what he _could_ hear was a faint shout in the distance, sounding almost like a cry. He tried to pinpoint the sound, tried to get his fuzzy mind to cooperate and figure out what was happening. The figure shadowed over him, kneeling down, close enough for recognition. Izaya’s eyes opened a little more; placing the figure as Satoshi, his hearing picked up the cry again and he just about managed to pinpoint the voice. _Shizu-chan…._ He had no idea if he could even speak, let alone call out for help, to get Shizuo back here, but he was damn well going to try. Izaya frowned and opened his mouth to yell, a hand grabbed his injured shoulder, and another quickly covered his mouth. Izaya’s sob of pain was muffled as he clenched his eyes shut, he had at least hoped that his body would remain numb for a lot longer.

 

Satoshi leaned forward, close enough that the officer outside wouldn’t hear him. “Don’t say a word” he whispered. “Or I really will put a bullet in your head”

 

Izaya’s eyes snapped open, he remembered something else then. _Jinnai has his family, if he kills me, then he won’t be able to try and get them back._ Izaya opened his mouth again when Satoshi removed his hand, he could feel his own begin to twitch, like the effects of the drug was slowly wearing off. It was hard, yet he had to try; with a deep breath-as much as he could muster- Izaya screamed. “Shizu-chan!! Help me!!”

 

Satoshi startled “Damn it!” the officer outside come running in and Satoshi cursed loudly, he pulled his gun-the silencer still attached- turned around and aimed. “Sorry” and Izaya watched with utter shock as the officer fell to the floor.

 

Izaya’s breathing picked up, he was in so much trouble, and it became clear that Shizuo hadn’t heard him at all. _Fuck_ Satoshi turned back to him, kneeling down and grabbing hold of Izaya’s shirt to yank him up. The raven hissed loudly, he still couldn’t move properly and that worried him the most.

 

“I don’t want this to be any harder on you. but if you call out like that again- Izaya, for the sake of my family, I will take Mai and give her to him”

 

Izaya’s eyes widened, he- he couldn’t, he wouldn’t….. taking a shallow breath, Izaya closed his mouth, narrowing his eyes.

 

Satoshi took his phone out from his pocket, frowning; he needed to complete this before the urge to back out became too strong. “Get up here and give me a hand. He’s still unconscious, so bring a board with you” after hanging up, Satoshi looked at Izaya “If I were you, I’d play the part. I’m sure you can handle that, and try not to breath”

 

…………………..

 

Satoshi and one of the fake paramedics carried Izaya’s sheet covered body out of the building and toward the ambulance. Placing the board down, Satoshi opened up the back door of the vehicle, and, ignoring the two dead paramedics he turned to the man opposite. “I’ll take him from here. go help the other one get rid of the body upstairs, be discreet and leave no evidence you were ever there”

 

The man snorted “We’re not amateurs” and he then made his way back into the building.

 

Once Satoshi was sure he was gone, he knelt down and pulled the sheet off. “Get in the front”

 

Izaya looked at him with a glare “I can’t move genius” Satoshi huffed, he’d almost forgotten about that, the effects were lasting longer then he thought. Izaya almost gave a loud hiss of pain before biting his lip as Satoshi yanked him up by the arm. He dragged him over and shoved him into the passenger seat of the ambulance. “I fucking hate you”

 

“I thought you loved all humans”

 

“Well, thanks to people like you, I don’t give a shit”

 

“I had to be quick, I can’t risk anyone seeing us” Satoshi was somewhat impressed that the two men had managed to keep the building clear of civilians.

 

Izaya focused on getting his body to start moving again, he did not want to be paralyzed when he was handed over to Jinnai. For the most part, he could move his head now, and flex his hands; he glanced over at Satoshi and before the man could start driving Izaya said “The least you can do is put my seatbelt on. Or have you abandoned your oath as a cop so much that you couldn’t care less about the rules of safety on the road”

 

Satoshi gripped the steering wheel “You don’t need a seatbelt”

 

“I’m paralyzed, that won’t stop me from crashing through the window” Satoshi frowned at him, but he didn’t blame Izaya for his attitude, still it grated on his nerves.

 

“Nothing is going to happen that would cause you to get thrown from the van”

 

Izaya glanced out of the window next to him “Fine” and just as Satoshi started the vehicle, the raven grinned a little. “I just thought that if I were to get spotted with no seatbelt by a cop at a stop sign or traffic light, they might pull you over” he turned his head to glance at Satoshi. “I assume you wouldn’t want that. what with the two bodies in the back there, stripped of their clothes. At which point, it really wouldn’t matter if I kept my mouth shut or not”

 

Satoshi slammed his hands on the wheel “All right!” he leaned over to reach for Izaya’s seatbelt and pulled it over him, clicking it into place. “Happy now?”

 

“At least now I’m safely buckled as I’m driven toward my place of suffering”

 

Satoshi sighed with regret as he began to drive from the building. “Izaya, I-”

 

“Don’t. don’t bother saying anything. I have no more sympathy for you traitor”

 

 

………………………

 

Satoshi stopped the vehicle outside an old looking building, they arrived with no trouble and by now Izaya had full control of his body. “Before we go in, give me everything you have on you”

 

Izaya glared at him “You make me sick”

 

Satoshi rolled his eyes “Not your clothes. Your personal items”

 

“I knew what you meant. You still make me sick”

 

“I’m going to return the items to your family. To Shizuo”

 

Izaya laughed dryly “That after you’ve washed my jacket?” he said as he undid his seatbelt and shifted forward; it was a struggle to remove the jacket due to his wounded shoulder. “Well, the drug you gave me seemed to have somehow stopped the bleeding”

 

“You’re welcome”

 

Izaya sneered “At what point did I express my gratitude?” the raven handed Satoshi his jacket, he glanced down, grasping the object around his neck through the fabric of his shirt. He reached up and unclasped the chain, pulling it out from underneath and placed it gently in his palm, he then handed it over.

 

“I have your knife. I’ll return that too”

 

Izaya clenched his fist, biting back his pride before asking “If you haven’t completely lost all of your morality,” he gestured to the chain “can you let him know that I was wearing that?”

 

Satoshi nodded “Of course”

 

Izaya looked at him, eyes softening slightly “Last chance to redeem yourself. Let me go. Let me go to Shizuo, we’ll help you save your family. Please”

 

Satoshi hesitated, and for a moment Izaya thought he’d gotten through to him, but then- “I’m sorry. I can’t take that risk”

 

Izaya narrowed his eyes “Then I hope you get what you deserve”

 

 

…………………….

 

Izaya sneered at Satoshi from the chair he was being tied to. “Don’t do anything stupid” the man told him. Izaya spat in his face. A laugh came from behind him, it belonged to the one that attacked him on the roof before. Kisuke Adabashi.

 

Satoshi stepped away from the informant, wiping saliva from his face. Kisuke laughed again and Izaya winced as his shoulder was gripped firmly. “You can hit him for that if you want copper!” Satoshi simply glared at him, making it clear he would not be part of this. “No? well, as token of appreciation for your work, I’ll do it for you”  Kisuke stepped around the chair and grinned down at Izaya, the raven locked eyes with him and scowled. “Didn’t anyone teach you it’s rude to spit?” Izaya barely showed any response when the creep then back handed him in the face within the form of a fist. Kisuke grinned widely and jumped in excitement. “You’re no stranger to pain are you, I can tell” his grin turned into a darker smirk. “Goody”

 

Satoshi clenched his fists, it was true that Izaya could withstand a hell of a lot, but he wondered for how long he himself could stand to watch.

 

“Patience Adabashi” came an old man’s voice from the end of the room they were in. The room was large, empty with barely white walls and a dirty tiled floor. All Izaya remembered was that he had to climb a lot of stairs to get here; after they got out of the ambulance, Satoshi blind folded him. “I’d like to speak to him before you beat him senseless” Kisuke stepped to the side with a pout and Izaya was finally able to see the one that had caused him so much trouble. “Izaya Orihara. So nice to finally meet you in person”

 

Izaya gritted his teeth, trying in vain to free his bound wrists, he could feel the burn of the rope on his skin. “Forgive me if I don’t share the sentiment” he said with a venomous tone.

 

Jinnai chuckled as he approached, standing directly in front of him. “How’s little Mai doing?”

 

Izaya narrowed his eyes “She’s got nothing to do with you, you sick fuck!” Jinnai produced a knife from his pocket and grabbed a fist full of Izaya’s hair, yanking his head back. The informant glowered.

 

“She’s got _everything_ to do with me” Izaya clenched his fist as the knife pierced the skin on his cheek. “We’re practically-related”

 

Izaya couldn’t contain his surprise once he realised what Jinnai meant. “W-what…?”

 

Jinnai released his hold and stepped back “And you wondered why I was so eager to get her back. My own flesh and blood”

 

Izaya wanted to hurl, he couldn’t believe it “Who the hell would ever sleep with you” he spat back

 

Jinnai merely laughed “Someone who wasn’t given a choice” Izaya cringed, not trying in the slightest to hide his disgust. “Oh that’s right. you can relate to her, can’t you?”

 

Izaya’s eyes widened a little _how the hell did he know about that? Shizu-chan was the only one I told_

 

“The only difference with her was that she wasn’t given a chance to defend herself. I’m not completely cruel as to let her be conscious during the time”

 

“Don’t fucking preach atonement to me. I know what a twisted freak you are”

 

Jinnai shrugged “Point taken I suppose. Do you want to know how I know about you?” Izaya glared at him “Simply put, Shiki was my associate. One who by all accounts was acting accordingly in my place, so I didn’t have to reveal myself”

 

Izaya gasped _He was part of that whole thing?_

 

“Don’t feel bad. You’re a good informant Izaya, a bit cocky, but still. Nobody really knew of my existence, and after you became acquainted with the family members of the Awakusu and sabotaged my little club, I let Shiki and his little posse take the fall and fled to Russia. The loss of the club wasn’t much of a concern, a small price to pay for my escape” Izaya was seething with anger, he tried to get his hands free, wanting nothing more than to rip out the old man’s throat. “You must be feeling pretty angry now. I’m finished telling you what I thought you should know. Kisuke will take your mind off that for you” Izaya’s eyes turned their attention to the other individual he held serious hatred for. Kisuke turned and laughed sickly, clenching his fists as he slowly made his way over. Jinnai grabbed his arm. “Two hours today. That’s it, understand?”

 

With an opened mouth grin Kisuke nodded and Jinnai released his arm. The old man pat him on the back before making his way to stand across the room, leaning against the wall.

 

Kisuke turned his full attention to Izaya “Let’s have some fun” Izaya clenched his fists, damn it, he still couldn’t free his wrists enough to slip through the rope. He gritted his teeth when he was hauled into the air by his shirt, still attached to the chair. “You’re going to scream for mercy info broker”

 

Izaya narrowed his eyes down at him “You wish”

 

“I’ve been meaning to get a new punching bag. What a great day this is” Izaya was pulled in and kneed hard in the stomach “Let’s see just how high your tolerance for pain really is” Kisuke threw Izaya to the floor with such force that the chair split apart. “Oh good. I was worried that the chair was going to be in the way” Izaya hissed as he tried desperately to at least get to his feet, the sharp splints of wood were already digging into his skin. He tried to kick out against his attacker when the man came near him, but Kisuke just laughed. “A punching bag is usually better when its hanging from the ceiling. But since it’s too high up, I guess this way will have to suffice”  he lifted Izaya up by his shirt, grinning as he pulled back his fist.

 

Satoshi flinched as Izaya was punched in the face. The cop clenched his fists, there wasn’t anything he could do but- _I made a promise to Shizuo, that I’d stay with him_ not in those exact words, but he keep it, nonetheless. Anger surged through him, trying his hardest not to intervene, his family were safe as long as he didn’t act.

 

Izaya coughed as he was thrown to the floor once more, blood spattering across the tiles. “I’m impressed so far informant. You’ve given me quite the warmup”

 

Izaya glared up at him through one eye, gritting his teeth “You wouldn’t be so arrogant….if my hands weren’t….tied”

 

Kisuke laughed “Perhaps not. Too bad we won’t know” Izaya bit back a scream as his side suffered a series of kicks, felt a rib crack under the pressure with every other blow.

 

Satoshi could barely watch anymore as the one whom he once called a friend was repeatedly punched, kicked and slammed into the floor. He found himself glancing at his watch and was unable to hold back an angry snarl as he yelled “Your two hours is up! Back off”

 

Izaya let out a groan of pain as he was held in the air, he felt as though his whole body was burning. He didn’t think anyone had that kind of stamina, to beat someone repeatedly for two solid hours. _I can….barely feel anything…_

 

Kisuke looked over at Jinnai who nodded in agreement, the man sighed with disappointment.  “I guess my fun is over for now. congratulations, I’ve never beaten someone that severely before without them screaming” there was a hiss of pain from Izaya as he was dropped to the floor. “Maybe I’ll get lucky and Jinnai will let me have another turn later on”

 

Jinnai smiled and walked toward them, he glanced at Kisuke and with a wave of his hand said “Get lost now” the man shrugged and left the large room, whistling as he did so. Satoshi glared at his retreating form. “I request that you take Izaya to one of the rooms downstairs. I’ll let him rest for a few days” hearing Jinnai’s voice snapped Satoshi’s attention away from the door.

 

“We should get a doctor here”

 

Jinnai laughed “Don’t be absurd. You’ll have to do, won’t you”

 

…………………..

 

“I don’t know what I’m doing Izaya, but you’re not helping” Satoshi told the informant as Izaya batted his hand away nearly every time he tried to help.

 

“What happened? Did your conscience….get the better…of you?”

 

Satoshi frowned as he pressed an icepack against Izaya’s severely bruised ribs causing the raven to hiss loudly. “Haven’t you been paying attention? You might hate me now, but I’m not leaving your side Izaya. So you’re just going to have to deal with that” Satoshi took note of a few cuts on his body, Kisuke had used a knife at one point during his attacks. “I’m sorry, they won’t give me bandages”

 

Izaya tried to take a few breaths, biting back the pain it caused. “If I’m lucky…..I’ll bleed to death”

 

“Not if I can help it”

 

Izaya looked at him, this wasn’t the first time he’d been beaten now, Jinnai seemed to make it clear not to go too far. The raven suspected though that he had other forms of torture in mind, and personally, Izaya would rather the beatings. “Get me out of here….”

 

Satoshi sighed as he wiped the blood away from Izaya’s chin. “I can’t, please stop asking me…”

 

“How is watching me…. get fucking tortured suppose to help me?” Izaya coughed, his breathing wheezing slightly.

 

“He plans to get Shizuo here soon”

 

Izaya’s eyes widened “W-what…?”

 

“I don’t know how yet. But just hang in there, ok?”

 

Izaya frowned at him

 

…………………….

 

Izaya opened his eyes as a bright light stung overhead and he was forced to close them again. _Where am I?_ his head hurt more then usual _did they knock me out?_ He slowly opened his eyes again and caught movement to the side of him, he narrowed his eyes as Jinnai came into view. Izaya lashed out, or tried to, Jinnai laughed then as Izaya soon discovered that his wrists and ankles were bound. Izaya could feel a cold metal table underneath him. There was a sting in his lip as he chewed on it, he started to panic.

 

“Calm down. You’ll only make it worse if you accelerate your heartbeat”

 

 _What the hell does that mean!?_ Izaya tried in vain to escape his restraints, he stilled when Jinnai held up a knife, he followed its movements until it sliced into his arm. He bit his lip, tensing his arm, Jinnai then walked around the table and did the same to the other.

 

“We must be precise, accuracy is key here” Izaya gritted his teeth, he could feel his arms drip with a heavy flow of blood. “Did you know that my dear Ruri participated in blood occults?” Izaya didn’t say anything, didn’t want to move while the knife was so close to him. He watched with disgust as Jinnai licked the knife, placed it down on a tray in favour of a different object. Izaya flinched when the object in Jinnai’s hand sparked. It was a long metal device, two pointed prongs at the end of it “But that was her, she was special. You, however, have been a thorn in my side for too long, and it’s about time I paid you back”

 

“You won’t get away with this….”

 

Jinnai smiled kindly at him, but Izaya wasn’t fooled “I wouldn’t hold back any kind of painful screams if I were you, you might break your teeth”

 

“You underestimate me old man”

 

Jinnai chuckled “We’ll see. Even the most disciplined Buddhist would scream eventually”

 

Izaya glared at him “I’m not a Buddhist. I’m not even religious. So your comparison is irrelevant”

 

“I suppose it is. Never mind” Jinnai lowered the device into Izaya’s open wound on his arm. A blaze of heat rushed through him and it felt like his whole body was on fire. Izaya screwed his eyes shut as he felt a jolt of electricity wrap itself around him, his body arched off the table when the wave intensified. Blood seeped between his teeth and his lip, trying his hardest to hold back his screams. Jinnai removed the device, allowing Izaya a moment to rest. “You really are something. I’ll just have to turn up the setting”

 

As the device was pressed into his wound, Izaya couldn’t stop the cry of agony that escaped his lips this time, and he only screamed louder as the pain became stronger.

 

………………………

 

Izaya panted in agonised breaths as he lay on the floor of the room he’d become familiar with. He couldn’t remember when Jinnai had stopped-was that the third time? In how many days? Izaya had no idea of the time frame, had no idea how long he had been in this building. He curled on his side, wrapping an arm around his body, it hurt so much to breath. Izaya coughed and he felt as though his lungs were going to collapse, he wanted to throw up, but it was too painful. Swallowing the bile that rose up into his throat, Izaya curled more tightly into a ball. He was cold, tired and in agony; why couldn’t they just end this? He wanted to die, so fucking badly, he couldn’t take it anymore, he’d never felt so helpless. There was no way out of this, they could continue their torment until-

 

Izaya gritted his teeth as he uncurled himself slightly, he looked at the pill in his hand.

 

 _Did you know that soldiers were given cyanide to use if they were ever captured by the enemy._ Jinnai had told him before placing said pill within his palm. Obviously he would never expect Izaya to use it, he was that confident.

 

Izaya wanted to crush it, to stop himself from the temptation, but he didn’t. _I don’t know if I’ll ever be found…...._ Izaya blinked back tears “I can’t…..I can’t take anymore….” One pill, and it would all be over. The death would be almost instant. Tears fell down his face as he brought the pill to his lips, placed it inside his mouth and bit it. A burst of substance broke free.

 

Satoshi entered the room minutes after, Izaya tried to smile at him, but a gasp escaped him. His heartbeat rapidly and he was sure it was going to collapse. “Izaya?”

 

“S’kay….it’s….over…now”

 

Satoshi frowned and rushed to his side “What do you mean!?”

 

Izaya grasped his wrist weakly “Where….were you….”

 

“Izaya! What did you do!?”

 

“Doesn’t matter…..now….no more…pain”

 

Satoshi lifted him up “What did you do!? Did you take something!?”

 

“Over…..now”

 

“Tell me what you took! Did they give you something!?” Satoshi shook him, trying to keep him awake

 

“Thought….I was…a coward….proved…them wrong”

 

“Izaya! What did you take!?”

 

“Pill…..cyanide….”

 

Satoshi’s eyes widen “You- you didn’t….Izaya! tell me you didn’t!”

 

Izaya bit his lip “Sorry….”

 

Satoshi frowned _if he took a cyanide pill, he’d been dead by now_ “Izaya, what colour was it?”

 

“Didn’t….have one….was clear”

 

Satoshi then remembered a certain clear pill that Jinnai spoke to him about, his latest drug that he could use on his enemies. “Izaya…” they’d tricked him into thinking that pill was going to be his way out, the pill was poisonous sure, but it wouldn’t be a quick death. “You idiot” Izaya was suddenly overcome with a tremendous amount of pain, he cried out and clung to Satoshi’s shirt. “Stay with me Izaya!” he couldn’t believe it; he hadn’t been gone long had he? Satoshi gritted his teeth and pulled out a syringe. “I’m going to give you as much of this as I can. It’s not a cure, but it’ll knock you out for a while, it’s…..it’s all I can do” Izaya thrashed against him, screams of agony passed his lips and Satoshi’s heart hurt for him. He quickly insert the syringe and then Izaya’s body soon went limp. “Damn it….I’m sorry” there was a distant set of footsteps, Satoshi quickly got up and hid himself in the dark corner of the room; he wasn’t meant to be in here this time.

 

Kisuke stepped into the room and laughed “I guess you passed out from the pain. Pretty little pill isn’t it? I can’t believe you took it; we wasn’t expecting that. too bad for you, as if we would give you such an easy exit” Satoshi watched with a clenched fist as Izaya was dragged over to a pole, his arms bound behind with handcuffs. “Show time” and Kisuke backed away into the darkness of the room, Satoshi pressed himself further back.

* * *

 

Shizuo pulled the raven close, it was almost too painful to hear….what Izaya had been through- he gritted his teeth, anger overcoming him, Jinnai was going to pay. _He’s dead, he’s so fucking dead_

 

“Shizuo- I- I’m sorry…”

 

“You watched it happen!!”

 

Satoshi flinched “My family….”

 

Shizuo growled angrily “He suffered because of you!!”

 

“I did everything I could without endangering my family!”

 

Shizuo narrowed his eyes, he felt a grip on his sweatshirt and looked down, his eyes became wide as Izaya was looking at him in confusion. “Shi-zu…chan…”

 

“Izaya?” A burst of emotions hit him at once, tears blurred his vision as he kissed the top of the raven’s forehead. “We’re getting out of here Izaya, just hold on ok?” Izaya curled himself in Shizuo’s arms, the pain was increasing, and he wasn’t sure how long it would be before his body gave out completely. But Shizuo was here, he was really here, and Izaya didn’t feel scared anymore. Shizuo frowned up at Satoshi “Getting Izaya out is my first priority. Then I’m coming back for Jinnai”

 

“He’s got the place crawling with people by now Shizuo, armed people. You can’t protect him by yourself, you’re already injured and the longer you spend fighting them off, the less likely it is Izaya will survive”

 

Shizuo growled and turned for the door “Then I suggest that if you want me to help save your family, you better help me get Izaya out of here”

 

Satoshi froze, was he- was he really going to help him? Even after what he’d done. “Shizuo…”

 

Shizuo turned back to him “You said that Jinnai sent you pictures of your family after you gave him information”

 

“Yes…, he sent me a recent one just after I left your place”

 

“Show me. I trusted you once and look how that turned out. Show me proof” Satoshi pulled out his phone and showed Shizuo the picture. The blond stared at it for some time; there was a brunette woman, and she looked to be hugging a little girl and a little boy, they couldn’t be any older than five. Shizuo growled in anger and then turned for the door. “Let’s go”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the chapter 'Reconciliation too late' Shizuo pushed past two officers outside; this was meant to say, paramedics. That has been rectified now, just encase there was confusion :)


	14. Fate's decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your wonderful comments and lovely Kudos!

Commotion sounded off at a distance, partial yelling and the occasional thud could be heard. Satoshi stepped in front of Shizuo, a light frown of confusion on his face as he tried to peer out of the door without being seen. Shizuo frowned as he pulled Izaya close to him, an odd feeling stirred in the pit of his stomach and he didn’t know how to proceed. It wasn’t as though he could just go raging outside and beat every last one of them to a pulp; he’d like to, and that was what he usually would do, no consequences, no hesitations. Shizuo looked down at the informant in his arms; he held the biggest consequence of all, he wasn’t about to risk causing Izaya anymore harm. Shizuo gritted his teeth as he watched Satoshi assess their options. He needed to get his lover out of here as soon as possible, but he knew that was impossible without a brawl. Shizuo wasn’t the least bit concerned about taking anyone out, he’d gladly go out there and take his anger out on them all, they wouldn’t stand a chance. Yet, he could not and would not leave Izaya alone again, even if it were for a few minutes.

 

Satoshi looked down the corridor again, it was so strange; all that commotion and no one had come down here. “I think we’re clear-” and just as he was about to step into the room, the sound of shouts, much closer than before, followed by four men come barrelling around the corner. “Oh crap” and they had spotted him before he could duck back into the room. Satoshi quickly ushered Shizuo back and slammed the door behind him. “Ok. new plan”

 

Shizuo growled “And that is?”

 

“No idea. But we need one”

 

Satoshi winced when a strong thud bounced off the door he was leaning on. “We can’t stay trapped here! how many are there?”

 

Another thud, and Satoshi was sure that the door was going to break soon. “Four. As far as I could tell. But there could be more by now” Satoshi pulled out his gun and pressed the button on the side of the handgrip. The magazine released into his palm and he checked the quantity of bullets before sliding it back into place. “I have four bullets left”

 

“Tst. Isn’t that a coincidence. We have a chance, providing you have a good aim” Satoshi looked at the blond with surprise, Shizuo narrowed his eyes, he knew what the man was thinking. “Do you really think I give a shit anymore about what happens? I’m past the point of caring, and given that you’ve already killed someone, you don’t have any right on judging me about feeling no remorse”

 

Satoshi looked away, knowing that Shizuo was right, and the blond had every right to want them dead. A determined frown crossed his features and he ushered Shizuo to stand back. Once Shizuo was at a safe distance, out of the line of fire so that neither he nor Izaya would be at risk; Satoshi quickly jumped away from the door, gun aimed, ready to shoot. The door burst open almost instantly and the four men didn’t hesitate in their attack. _Every shot has to be direct_ without delay, Satoshi pulled the trigger and fired each shot as quickly and accurately as he could. One, two, three….three collapsed with a bullet ripping through their skulls, the fourth managed to side-step just quick enough to avoid a fatal blow. The man yelled as blood gushed from the middle of his shoulder, just under his collarbone. Without wasting much time, Satoshi rushed forward and slammed the butt end of his gun into the man’s temple, there was a loud crack and the man collapsed without another sound.

 

Shizuo didn’t want to admit that he was impressed, but the humanity in him caused a guilty reaction. He pushed that aside, these men were accomplices of the bastard that caused Izaya to suffer, they were just as to blame as the man himself. Satoshi turned to Shizuo, holstering his weapon. “Out of bullets now; no doubt there are more men, but we should get out of here before they show up. Like you said, we don’t want to stay stuck here”

 

“I know. it’s just- isn’t there another way out then the entrance I came in from?”

 

“There’s a back way, but we’re still going to have to head in the same direction to get to it. I know you want to avoid confrontation, but I don’t think that’s completely unavoidable Shizuo, even if we went a different way. I’m a little concerned about the noise in the distance, it sounds like there’s a lot of them, I can’t give you an estimate on just how many Jinnai has hired. There’s also the fact that he himself is still somewhere in this building, and if he’s still where I think he is, he’ll be able to watch our every move. My main concern is that at any point, he can kill my family”

 

Shizuo growled angrily “That thought should have already crossed mind while you were helping him. Regardless of what he said, regardless of what you did, he could have killed your family anyway”

 

Satoshi’s eyes darted to the floor, he nodded, guilt clawed at his chest. “That’s what Izaya said”

 

“Look. It doesn’t even matter now; the bastard probably knows by now already that you’ve helped us. So, do whatever it is you have to do. If you know where Jinnai might be, then go after him; I’d much rather kill him myself for what he did, but I have to get Izaya out before it’s too late”

 

Satoshi gaped at him in surprise “But Shizuo- with Izaya, you won’t be able to fight them off”

 

“I’ll think of something” Shizuo gave a smirk “I can still literally kick their asses”

 

“Put me down….” The two blink at the quiet voice, Shizuo looked down at Izaya; he could practically hear the pain in his tone, hear the struggle he was going through just trying to breath.

 

“What?

  
“I- I can….walk”

 

Shizuo frowned, was Izaya joking right now? he was a wreck and Shizuo was hardly going to believe that the man could even stand up, let alone take one step on his own. “Not happening. Izaya, you’re in no condition to do anything right now”

 

Izaya hissed, clutching Shizuo’s shirt as pain throbbed across his chest. “I’m….gonna die anyway….too late….I don’t have….much time left” Izaya looked up at him, Shizuo was terrified by the look in his eyes, Izaya had given up. “At least…..let me go out….my way”

 

Shizuo gritted his teeth, tightening his hold “Forget it! and shut the hell up! You’re not going to die; do you hear me?” even as he said it, Shizuo was doubtful, his eyes clouded over.

 

Izaya gave him a weak smile “I tried….Shizu-chan….I tried as hard as I could….to hold on….it was too much….I just- I just wanted it to stop….” Izaya tensed in pain and a violent cough overtook him, blood trickled down the corner of his mouth and his hold tightened.

 

“Damn it. Izaya, you just hang on a little longer. I’m getting us out of here”

 

Another trickle of blood ran down his chin as Izaya chuckled a little “Ah….that’d be nice….Since I’d really rather not….die here” Shizuo tried his best to hold back the tears, Izaya lifted his hand to Shizuo’s face “Put me down….before I lose what bit of strength I have….”

 

He didn’t like this; he didn’t like this one bit. With a sigh of defeat, Shizuo released his hold on Izaya and carefully helped him stand. Izaya’s legs buckled and the blond caught him under his arms. “You can’t even stand Izaya! This isn’t going to work!”

 

Izaya gripped Shizuo’s arms, trying his hardest to breath through the pain he was in, didn’t realise how weak he really was. “Give….give me….a minute” without meaning to, Izaya leaned against his chest, it was so difficult to hold his own weight and it was taking all his effort just to keep awake.

 

Satoshi frowned and then peered out of the door; three others had broke free from whatever commotion was going on elsewhere. “We don’t have a minute”

 

Izaya pushed against Shizuo, stumbling back against the wall “Leave….now”

 

Shizuo couldn’t help but slam his fist against the door frame, he wasn’t willing to let Izaya walk, and now the idiot was telling him to just leave him here!? “I’m not doing that! do you have any idea how much I- fuck! Izaya….” Shizuo clenched his fist “Don’t ask me to do that….not again”

 

Izaya looked at him through half lidded eyes, there was so much anguish in Shizuo’s body language alone. “Shizu-chan…..” Shizuo lay his head against Izaya’s shoulder “There’s….no other way….”

 

Shizuo growled as he straightened, eyes narrowing as he turned around and walked over to the back of the room. Shizuo grasped the pole that Izaya had been tied to and ripped it from the floor. “I’ll make a way” he said as he left the room

 

“Shizu-chan….wait-” he barely took a step forward before collapsing to his knees, Satoshi knelt down beside him; Izaya clutched his chest as he struggled for breath. “God…”

 

Satoshi grasped his shoulder, watching him with deep concern “Stay with us…”

 

Shizuo slammed his fist against one of his attackers, he swung the pole and smashed it against another’s head. “You’re so fricking dead!!”

 

………………….

 

Anri swung her sword directly across a large man’s chest, ducking his punch in the process. Masaomi was fighting another beside her, while Mairu and Kururi fought off a few others by the entrance. Kadota, even though he was still injured from the car accident, was holding his own fairly well; he wasn’t about to let Shizuo go this alone, not in the state he must be in.

 

Everyone here, they had all been affected by Izaya’s death and there was only one thing on their minds, revenge. When they’d got the message from Celty to say that Shizuo needed help, and that Jinnai may or may not have Kasuka, neither one of them needed to be asked twice. It all sounded like a trap and given how many they had to face so far; it had been true. Celty threw two men hard into the wall with her shadows, she quickly turned around and kicked another in the stomach.

 

Anri’s eyes glowed red, she was seething with anger _they took Izaya away from us, I’ll be damned if they take Shizuo too!_ With her weapon poised, she pushed someone against the wall and the man yelled as he felt the sharp sword enter his shoulder. *Where is Shizuo!* her mind cried angrily, the man stilled, and eyes changed to match Anri’s.

 

It seemed to turn him catatonic and he sounded more like a robot, replying without hesitation “Shizuo is down the corridor on the right in the end room mother”

 

Anri turned to Celty, who had fended off another attack “Celty!” the Dullahan switched her attention when she heard her name being called. “Shizuo is nearby, down the right corridor!”

 

Celty nodded and swiped her fist across someone as they approached her. She ran past those still fighting and swiftly turned the corner. _you better be all right Shizuo_

Anri turned back to the man under her Saika “Now. tell me where Jinnai is”

 

……………………….

 

Shizuo yelled angrily as a man jumped on his back, the blond slammed him into the wall, he span around and grabbed the yelling male by the neck. “What do you think you’re trying to do huh!?” Shizuo threw him to the ground, he then looked up as a crowbar come flying at his face. Shizuo sidestepped and grabbed the metal bar, bending it in half before punching the attacker flying. Panting and trying to keep his anger under control, he felt a tap on his shoulder; growling, he span around ready to deliver another blow. His eyes widened and his fist stopped inches from her helmet. “Celty…”

 

Celty’s shoulders shook a little and she gave him a quick hug before pulling out her PDA. [I’m so glad you’re ok!] [Don’t worry, we’re all here for you]

 

Shizuo raised an eyebrow “What are you talking about?”

 

[Everyone is here. Anri, Masaomi, Kadota, Mairu and Kururi, we’re here to help]

 

Shizuo stared at her in surprise _so that was what the commotion was_ “You weren’t supposed to follow me. I don’t want anyone else in danger”

 

[We weren’t about to let you come here alone!] [You need our help, there’s a lot of them. Where’s Kasuka? Is he here?]

 

Shizuo blinked, he’d almost forgotten the reason he had come here in the first place “No. Kasuka isn’t here, I spoke to him on the phone. He’s fine. You were right, it was a trap…sort of”

 

Celty’s shoulders slumped as though she was annoyed, and Shizuo could practically here her thoughts saying she told him so. [That’s a relief I guess] Celty then stilled in the middle of typing her next message, her phone slipped from her hands and clattered to the floor. Shizuo realised her attention wasn’t on him anymore, she was shaking and didn’t even make a move to retrieve her phone. Shizuo flinched as he slowly turned around, sidestepping away from her view. Izaya clung to Satoshi as the two stepped out from the room, the raven looked up in surprise, he didn’t expect to see Celty there at all.

 

Izaya gave her a weak little wave, trying to smile despite how hard it was to breath. “H-hey….long time….no see…”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened _that’s what comes out of his mouth first?_ He looked back at Celty _she’s going to freak_ “Um…Celty? It’s- It’s kind of a complicated story, but we don’t have time right now. Izaya doesn’t for that matter, we need to get him to Shinra as fast as possible”

 

Celty was frozen, she couldn’t process what was happening, how was this possible? She bent down slowly to retrieve her phone and then tapped the keypad hard. [WHAT THE HELL???]

 

Shizuo flinched, almost hearing her yells vocally. “Please Celty! We have to hurry, I’ll explain everything later, but right now we don’t have time!” Celty twitched and it took a few moments before she nodded and ran up to Izaya, Shizuo following close behind. “If anyone can get him out of here, it’s you”

 

Izaya looked at him “Shizu-chan…?”

 

Shizuo smiled at him, fists clenched, it was taking all he had to keep his temper under control “I have a score to settle with someone”

 

Izaya shook his head “No! you don’t-” he coughed, and blood splattered from his mouth, Celty caught him, lifting him from the other side. “Please…..Shizu-chan…don’t….you don’t know what he’s….capable of…”

 

Shizuo narrowed his eyes “I know damn well what he’s capable of. He’s going to wish he had never messed with my family. I’ll break every bone in his god damn body before I snap his entire neck” Shizuo looked at Celty “I’m counting on you. get him help”

 

Celty nodded and then typed something on her phone [Are you sure?]

 

Shizuo turned to Satoshi with a frown “Take me to where he is”

 

Satoshi gave him a hesitant nod and Celty supported all of the informant’s weight as the officer left with Shizuo. Izaya stared after them, he’d never seen such a vengeful look in Shizuo’s eyes before, it was like he was a different person. A phone appeared in his vision and he had to concentrate on the words before reading. [I have a lot of questions. But…] [That can wait. It’s really good to see you, I missed you]

 

Izaya smiled weakly “You too….”

 

[Are you ok if I carry you on my back?]

 

Izaya nodded and Celty bent down and shifted so she could link her arms under the raven’s legs. Izaya wrapped his arms around her shoulders as tightly as he could. “Celty….I- I have a favour to ask….” Celty nodded, indicating for him to continue “I- don’t want to hurt….anyone….I need you to avoid the others…..they shouldn’t see me….” Izaya’s hold tightened, trying to make her understand since she couldn’t reply. “The…poison…in my body…I don’t think…I’m going to survive. I can’t do that to them again…..please”

 

Celty stiffened _he’s been poisoned? What kind of cruel fate is this!?_

“They can’t know I’m alive….it’s not fair to them….”

 

She quickly nodded, she understood his reasons, and as much as it hurt her seeing him again and knowing that he might not make it anyway, she would do as he asked.

 

………………….

 

Jinnai laughed hysterically as he watched all those he’d hired get beat down. The truth was, that ever since Izaya had started to keep tabs on him, his syndicate had begun to fail. It was as though the informant was sabotaging everything from a distance. There was no one left to rely on now, no one to use for his gain and soon enough, the Awakusu were going to come for him. “Let them come! Ha ha ha ha! I’ll blow this building to pieces and I’ll take them all out with me!” Just as Jinnai licked his lips, a finger hovering over the button on his laptop. “Go to hell!” before he could push the key, a slam of the door behind stopped him, he span around on his chair as the door swung open. Jinnai’s eyes widened as well as his grin. “Well! This is a surprise! Your name is Anri Sonohara if I’m not mistaken”

 

Anri stalked up to him, her sword held tightly by her side, eyes solid red “And I’ll make sure you remember that. but first, you’re going to tell me everything”

 

Jinnai laughed “Oh! You’re going to use your little Saika on me? I must say, I’m rather anxious to see that my dear”

 

Anri narrowed her eyes, taking the handle of her sword in both hands and raising it above her head. “You won’t feel no enjoyment and I’ll make sure you suffer”

 

Jinnai wiggled his finger over the key once more “Strike me now, and you see this button here? it’ll trigger an explosion great enough to destroy this entire building. and you can say goodbye to all your little friends” Jinnai pushed a different key and Anri glanced up as a woman and two children appeared on a screen over the wall. “As well as them”

 

Anri seethed as she lowered her sword, she had no idea what was going on or who those people were. “You’re nothing but a monster”

 

Jinnai gave a constant nod of his head “It’s been known. So, what will you do now?”

 

Anri looked at him _he could be bluffing just to keep me from attacking, but if I leave and he really is telling the truth…he’ll just blow up the building anyway._ Closing her eyes in thought, she made her decision and quickly raised her sword again and lunged, Jinnai’s eyes widened, holding out a hand as if to stop her.

 

………………………..

 

Anri pulled her sword out of Jinnai’s arm, it rattled slightly as her hands shook. She wasn’t at all shocked to learn about what he’d done to get to where he was now, Ruri and her stalker, all of the human trafficking that he’d been organising, even his involvement to Mai-which angered her greatly- what she couldn’t handle, was the information she stumbled across right before she took her sword out. Anri tightened her hold around the handle “You will pay for what you’ve done. It’s about time karma collected your debt”

 

Jinnai laughed, Anri frowned at him, he was absolutely insane. She gritted her teeth and just as she was about to swipe the sword across his neck- “Anri!” a loud voice interrupted her, and she spun around to find Shizuo and Satoshi standing just inside the doorway.

 

“S-Shizuo” she called in surprise, her eyes were wide and Shizuo could see the mist in them. He glanced over at Jinnai who was grinning manically and glared.

 

Shizuo walked toward them and placed a hand on Anri’s shoulder; he then turned to Jinnai, fists clenched and eyes narrowing dangerously as he stepped forward. “You’re dead!” Shizuo grabbed Jinnai by his shirt, pulled back his fist and slammed it hard into the old man’s gut. Anger sparked within him and he let his temper take control, he screamed loudly in rage and viciously began beating the man to a pulp. Anri stood there, watching the blond take his revenge, and rightly so, for all he had done, she wanted Shizuo to kill him.

 

“Anri?”

 

Anri turned to Satoshi who was by another door off to the side. “Help me get my family out of here” Anri took a glance over at Shizuo, it wasn’t as if he needed her help. She turned to the officer and nodded before running over to help him. Together they broke down the door and Satoshi ran inside, the woman and her children glanced up. “Thank god…” he breathed out and fell to his knees in front of them. They cried with joyful tears as he embraced them tightly. “I’m so glad you’re safe”

 

The woman cried into his chest, wrapping her arms around her family “I thought he was going to kill us…”

 

Satoshi rubbed her back “Shhh….it’s all right now, it’s over”

 

Anri smiled _everything will be all right now_ she then turned to see Shizuo lift Jinnai’s now battered body off the ground, if she let Shizuo kill him, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself, even if Jinnai deserved it. Shizuo wasn’t a killer.

 

Satoshi stood with his family by the doorway, holding them close as he watched the scene. _Shizuo should have killed me;  even after what I did, he still helped me, and I got my family back. He truly is a remarkable man._

 

Shizuo growled, his eyes wide with rage as his hand tightened around Jinnai’s neck. He felt a hand touch his arm and it snapped him back to control, he glanced over at Anri and she shook her head. “You’re not a killer Shizuo. Don’t give him what he wants, don’t sink to his level”

 

Shizuo frowned, feeling rage swirl within him “Do you have any idea what he’s done!?”

 

Anri frowned “I do. And that is why I’m going to let Saika take care of it” Shizuo reluctantly dropped the old man to the floor, Anri turned her attention to Jinnai who was still grinning, despite his bloodied and beaten body. “Any last words you vile monster”

 

Jinnai laughed “No words…..just the thought….of a last laugh” before either Shizuo or Anri could react, Jinnai pulled a gun from his jacket-

 

BANG

 

………………………

 

Shinra bit his lip, it pained him to see Izaya going through such agony. He had been treating the informant for two hours now, and he was no where near done. Celty had shown up with him and Shinra nearly had a heart attack, smashing his favourite coffee cup as it slipped from his hands. It took some time for him to get over the shock of seeing his best friend alive, he only wished that it wasn’t true, as cruel as that sounded. Once the initial shock wore off and he began to assess what kind of state Izaya was in, he almost wished it was a dream. Celty didn’t know what had happened to him during the time he’d been gone, but Shinra could tell by the diagnosis of his injuries. Celty informed him about a poison that might be in Izaya’s system, but before he could even try to come up with something to counter it, he needed to treat his physical injuries. Izaya had several broken bones that had healed incorrectly, they needed to be rebroken and set properly. The cuts on his arms had to be reopened, disinfected and restitched. Another doctor had been called, Doctor Gasaki. Shinra wasn’t about to operate on his friend without sufficient knowledge of the procedure, he called someone who had looked after Izaya when the raven’s appendix had ruptured.

 

Given the extensive bruising and the still healing broken ribs, Shinra and Gasaki confirmed that Izaya had a ruptured spleen and that was causing a lot of internal bleeding. Celty had left the room, she couldn’t handle the screaming anymore, it was awful to see someone you cared about go through all that, and she didn’t know how Shinra could cope with it.  Once they treated Izaya’s physical injuries as best as they could, they were able to move on to the life threatening poison running through his system. Shinra had severe doubts; Izaya was losing more blood then they could put in, and it took a great deal of effort to draw out the pure blood as much as they could. The worst part in all this, was that Izaya couldn’t be sedated, he had been awake through the entire thing so far. His arms and legs were bound to stop him from thrashing while they’d reset his bones and performed the operation. When Izaya first arrived, he had managed to tell Shinra how much Midazolam was in his system. The drug he’d first been given at the apartment had worn off, but Satoshi had gotten his hands on the Midazolam and used it to keep Izaya’s pain levels low as much as he could.

 

Shinra tried his best to sooth him, letting him know he was there, he suspected it wasn’t doing a lot of good. Izaya had vomited several times since they had started trying to counter whatever poison he had. Izaya wasn’t alert enough now to tell them anything about it so they only had blood tests to work on. “I’m sorry….I’m sorry I can’t do anything for you, please hold on ok?”

 

………………………

 

Shizuo and Anri flinched when the gunshot rang out, yet neither of them felt any pain. It wasn’t until a mournful cry was heard to the side of them, that they realised what had happened. Shizuo’s eyes widened at the sight of the woman crying over her husband’s body. The two little ones screaming beside her “Shit….it can’t be”

 

Anri covered her mouth with one hand, she was too late, too hesitant _I should have taken him out when I had the chance_ “Satoshi….”

 

Shizuo clenched his fists, anger swelled, and his breathing became heavy. He grabbed the desk and hauled it over his head, glaring down at Jinnai, who was grinning up at him through half lidded eyes. “You’re fucking dead!”

 

Anri turned around and got in between them, eyes narrowing “No Shizuo!”

 

“Out of my way! I’ll crush him in one blow!”

 

Anri glared, eyes returning to red “Saika will handle it”

 

Shizuo gritted his teeth _for what he did to Izaya, he deserves to die by my hand, no one else’s; least of all a damn fucking sword_ “Let me kill him”

 

Anri shook her head “Trust me Shizuo. This way is better”

 

Shizuo saw the determination in her expression and he decided to believe her. Lowering the desk, he threw it to one side and nodded at her.

 

Anri turned to Jinnai with a hateful glare, eyes glowing brightly. Jinnai’s eyes matched the glow in her own and he laughed manically as the hand he held the gun in rose without his consent, toward his temple. “Ironic. Isn’t it?” she said before Jinnai’s eyes widened a little and then BANG. Shizuo watched the arm fall to the ground, the gun clattering as it slid from Jinnai’s hand.

 

It was over.

 

Jinnai was dead.

 

Anri looked up at Shizuo, her eyes fading to normal “There’s somewhere you have to be now”

 

Shizuo frowned, looking over at the broken family. “I can’t leave them- he done a lot of stupid things, but- he didn’t deserve…”

 

“I will take care of them, make sure they’re safe. Izaya needs you”

 

Shizuo looked at her, his heart hammering in his chest “Y-you know?”

 

Anri nodded “Go to him. I won’t tell the others until I hear word from you that he’ll be ok”

 

Shizuo breathed out shakily “Thanks”

 

……………………

 

The fighting had stopped by the time Anri appeared with the woman and her children. Her friends smiled in relief to see that she was ok. Masaomi and Kadota ran up to her. “Where’s Celty?” Kadota asked “Did she find Shizuo and Kasuka?”

 

Anri nodded “Shizuo is fine. But Kasuka wasn’t here to begin with. Celty took him a different way out of the building, he had some injuries that needed treating. He told me to tell you all thanks for your help”

 

They sighed in relief at the news “Who are they?” Masaomi asked, gesturing to the one’s beside her.

 

Anri glanced sadly at the family and then turned back to him “Satoshi’s wife and kids. Jinnai had them, he forced Satoshi to work for him otherwise he’d kill them”

 

Mairu gasped in shock “You’re kidding!? That dirty rotten cop! I should-”

 

“Mairu” Anri called sternly, Mairu caught the hint to shut up “He didn’t make it. Jinnai shot him before I could do anything to help”

 

Mairu glanced away sadly “Oh….”

 

A sadness overcame them all and silence filled the corridor. Kadota cleared his throat “Let’s get out of here, we’ll notify the police”

 

The group nodded their agreement and made their way out of the building.

 

……………………….

 

Shizuo burst through the door of the room in which Shinra treated his patients, where he knew Izaya would be. Shinra startled, as well as the other doctor in the room. Shizuo stalked over to the bed only to be stopped by Shinra’s hand on his chest. “Shizuo...”

 

Shizuo gritted his teeth, he glanced around the room, nothing good came from there being another doctor here. Certainly not from all the bloodied gauze that was situated on the large metal tray, not to mention the red that coated both doctor’s jackets. Shizuo took a look at Izaya, he was barely recognisable with all the bandages and stitches, as well as the IV tubes lining his arms and the oxygen mask covering his mouth. “Tell me he’s ok....please”

 

Shinra sighed, he was so exhausted, and he knew they were nowhere near finished. “Shizuo; Izaya’s condition is dire, the poison is only part of the problem; there was tremendous blood loss and internal bleeding; when we cut his clothes to locate his injuries, we found several burns among his skin. He had a dislocated shoulder, several broken ribs, a broken leg and a cracked jaw. I have absolutely no idea how he’s managed to survive up until now, honestly, it’s mind boggling. We can’t even imagine what he went through when he received all those wounds, but as of right now, things will only get worse”

 

Shizuo clenched his fists, his heart ached to hold Izaya close. “How the hell can this get worse!?” He was angry, so angry; Izaya had suffered and they didn’t even know about it.

 

“He can’t be sedated, and we’re only starting to get the results back from the tests we took”

 

Shizuo blinked and looked at the still form of his lover, save for the slight rise and fall of his chest. “What do you mean he can’t be sedated? He’s asleep now isn’t he?”

 

Shinra shook his head solemnly “No. he passed out, and I really hope he stays like that for a little while. Because once he wakes up, the pain will start all over again. Whatever this poison is, it’s vicious, and that is definitely not going to help with his other injuries” Shinra looked over at his friend on the bed “I can’t help but wonder if it’ll be better if I-“

 

Shizuo’s eyes widen “Better if you what!?” He grabbed hold of Shinra’s coat “The hell are you saying Shinra!?”

 

Celty soon ran into the room to try and calm him down, Shinra frowned at him. “You didn’t have to hear the screaming and pleading when we had to rebreak his bones! Or perform an operation or stitch his body up while he was still fucking conscious! Damn it Shizuo, I know you want him to be ok and so do I, but you have no idea how much he’s suffering right now!”

 

Shizuo shook with anger and tears clouded his vision, he released his hold on Shinra, never had the doctor been so direct and blunt with him. He turned away, pulling at his hair in frustration. “Shinra....what‘s going to happen now?”

 

Shinra swallowed and sighed “I don’t know yet. It all depends on the tests and what they tell us. Whatever traces are in his system we’ll have to fight off with the necessary treatments. It all depends on how the poison was distributed. I don’t suppose you know?”

 

Shizuo turned to the doctor, aware of how the other in the corner was staring at him with slight fear, which really wasn’t helping. “Will that even help?”

 

Shinra pushed his glasses up “It’ll at least allow me to give an estimate of how quickly the poison would spread. It will help a lot to know how long too”

 

Shizuo wracked his brain through all the information Satoshi had told him, right up until he had found Izaya. “The poison was a clear pill that Izaya was manipulated into thinking it was cyanide. I would make a guess that it wasn’t anymore then a day that he took it; in fact, I think it was-“ Shizuo glanced up at the clock, how long had it been since he left his parent’s house and found Izaya? “When did I get the call on your roof? Cause it could have been around then. Satoshi discovered that he’d taken it after he got back from visiting me”

 

Shinra blinked in surprise “Wait what?”

 

Shizuo then realised that Shinra nor Celty for that matter hadn’t known about the officer and what he’d done. “Long story short. Satoshi is the reason Izaya ended up with Jinnai in the first place. He’s also one of the reasons why we made it out and how he knew about the poison”

 

Shinra frowned “Are you telling me that the one we trusted and considered family, is the cause for the state of my best friend?”

 

Shizuo nodded, he wasn’t exactly thrilled either; in fact, he was trying extremely hard to hold himself together. Even now, knowing that Jinnai was dead. That bastard really did get the last laugh.

 

Shinra swallowed his anger; remaining calm for Izaya was important, if they were going to try their best on keeping him alive, he needed to not be so unfocused by his emotions. “Sorry for my outburst. I think I’m still in shock over seeing him alive, despite his condition”

 

Shizuo nodded “You don’t have to tell me. Imagine being the one to find him, thinking that you were going to walk into a room to find your brother; when in actual fact, you walk in and find the most important person to you, whom you thought to have been dead for the last two weeks”

 

Shinra bit his lip, he had no reply, because he couldn’t imagine being the one to find him, how much of a shock that must have been. Yet, he’d take that over having to treat Izaya for what had happened in those weeks any day. Shinra wasn’t sure if he was ever going to get those screams of agony out of his mind, he’d never seen his friend in so much pain before-ever. And he would know, since he had treated Izaya for most of his previous injuries since they had met.

 

“Nobody but us here know about Izaya, he wants it to stay that way- at least, unless he’s able to make it. He didn’t want anyone to know because he didn’t want them hurting all over again if he couldn’t make it. Oh, Anri knows too”

 

Shinra nodded his understanding; he locked eyes with the blond and his expression was serious. “Shizuo. I know you’re not going to leave, so I’m just going to warn you now-we don’t know how well we can fight off this poison; we might be able to completely free his body of the infections, or we might only be able to stop it temporarily, that will depend on the results of the tests. Either way, Izaya’s condition is going to worsen while we fight this, and it’s not going to be pleasant”

 

Shizuo narrowed his eyes, he glanced over at Izaya, praying that he remained unconscious for as long as possible. He now understood the meaning behind Shinra’s implications earlier, would it be better off if they just- Shizuo wasn’t sure if what he was about to ask should be discussed or not. “Izaya has life insurance, that much I know; but- what’s that thing you have when you don’t want to be revived or kept alive by some machine?”

 

Shinra raised a finger “That’s called a DNR, it stands for do not resuscitate”

 

“Yeah that. Do you know if he has that, I mean, we’ve never really discussed things like wills....it always freaked him out”

 

Shinra looked at Izaya “I’m not too sure to be honest. But from the looks of it, we might have to make that decision for him. After all, we are the two who know him best”

 

Shizuo nodded, he pointed outside the room “I should make a call, see if Mai is ok and tell my parent’s I’ll be back in a few days at least”

 

……………………….

 

Shizuo had always believed he could handle anything, at least when it came to Izaya. But over the years of being with him, that all changed, his heart had been shattered so many times and for many different reasons. Izaya was his lifeline, his whole reason for living; the day that the informant was presumed dead, Shizuo didn’t think he could carry on. Nobody knew this, but there were several occasions when he had thought about ending his pain. It was selfish, Shizuo knew that, but he hurt so much and life without Izaya was not one he wanted to live. However, every time his thoughts took him to those dark places, there was Mai. Shizuo didn’t want to leave her that way, losing one parent was bad enough; losing both? The blond couldn’t do that to her.

 

Now, Shizuo’s heart was breaking for another different reason. He couldn’t stand seeing Izaya in so much pain; while Shinra and Gasaki were trying their best to treat him, it looked more like he was slowly dying. Hours had gone by, yet it felt more like days; it seemed as though things would get better, now that they had more of an understanding of the poison that was causing his lover’s suffering. Of course that wasn’t exactly the hard part; it would stand to reason that the experimental drug had chemicals that they might not be able to detect. Shinra wanted to make absolutely sure there were no other detections of harmful substances in Izaya’s system. So far; there had been traces of arsenic-which they had begun treating as soon as it was discovered. Thankfully, the traces found were minimal, and they were confident about its treatment being successful. Traces of Strychnine-a pesticide, yet it had been known for its use mixed with street drugs; and phosgene-an organic chemical gas.

 

Whoever had mixed this drug together might either be considered incredibly amateurish, or highly intelligent, depending which way you looked at it. Jinnai might have been desperate enough to have the drug made at random, mixing whatever poisons those within his ring could get their hands on. Izaya had been his test victim.

 

A build up of fluid in Izaya’s lungs was the main cause of his blood vomiting, most likely caused by the phosgene. Throughout his treatment, he’d convulsed and had extreme difficulty breathing; the pain he was in was caused by the constant spasms in his muscles. Shinra and the other doctor had to treat him for many different symptoms, and they were highly concerned about what those types of poisons would do to him long term if they were unable to fully remove the substances.

 

……………………..

 

Izaya was unconscious; he’d passed out quite a few times since the whole procedure of treatment started. Shizuo had sat with him, and had been the whole time, despite how painful it was to see and hear the cries of agony come from one whose tolerance was normally so high. Anyone who knew Izaya, would be able to tell, that pretty soon, he wasn’t going to be able to last much longer. There had been a couple of times when the pain had been almost tolerable enough that he’d been able to vocalise his _wishes._ In simple terms, he wanted it to end, he quite literally _begged_ Shinra to “Fucking end it”

 

It was only the discoveries of the poisons hours after, which had stopped Shinra from complying with his friend’s request. There was high hopes, and after a long night and well into the early hours of the morning, there were signs of perhaps-recovery. The pain had lessoned over the next three hours, and Izaya’s breathing was less shallow. His body’s temperature had begun to return to a less alarming degree, and there was a significant improvement-being the lack of vomiting and seizures.

 

A few days later………

 

Shizuo was slouched over in a chair, head in his hands, listening to the monitor beside the bed and the ventilation they had Izaya on to help keep his breathing steady. There were concerns that the trauma in which the raven went through, might cause long term effects. Breathing on his own was a main concern; a weak heart or lungs, possibly both; they were mostly concerned about his mental state, Izaya could have brain damage. At the very least, and this was quite literally a mild case scenario, he would suffer from PTSD. None of these were detectable until Izaya could remain awake long enough to test for them.

 

After another four days of constant care, Izaya showed more promising signs of recovery, at least until they could run some tests. Shinra seemed confident that the raven might wake up soon, he had been off the ventilator all day without difficulty. Since this had been the first in a long while that there was no immediate danger to Izaya’s life, Shinra and the doctors had taken time out to rest a little more than just a few hours. Shizuo had even left the apartment to go back home, if only for a few hours to finally see Mai and thank his parents for their support, even if they still had no idea where he’d been all this time. He felt extremely guilty for keeping such a massive thing a secret, especially from Mai, he knew how much she missed Izaya. Telling her now wouldn’t be the best idea; until they knew of Izaya’s health, they couldn’t risk anyone knowing he was even alive.

 

Back at the apartment now, on the chair next to Izaya’s bed, Shizuo raised his hand and gently stroked the raven’s forehead. It was such a relief to see him in a painless sleep for once, not even unconscious this time. Though he had yet to wake up, this was the first time that Shizuo felt relieved, like things would be ok. The blond wasn’t so naïve as to completely fall into ignorant bliss; he knew there were still areas in which they needed to rule out. “Izaya. I will not leave your side. No matter what happens, no matter how things go from here, whether you can’t walk or…or you might be- less capable” it was a lot better then saying brain damaged, he couldn’t picture Izaya like that, and until that was confirmed, he wasn’t going to. “Even if you kept me awake every night through constant nightmares, I won’t care. I’ll be with you, every step of the way, whatever it takes, I’ll do it” Shizuo let out a shaky breath. “Because I love you. and nothing will ever stop me from doing that, no matter what”

 

The heart monitor began to pick up slightly, not enough to cause concern, but enough that Shizuo lifted his head. Izaya’s eyes flickered a little, until slightly red crimson eyes opened halfway. His tongue darted out to lick his dry lips before softly speaking, though his voice was hoarse and his throat rather sore. “Ngh….that’s a….pretty big….commitment….Shizu-chan”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened and he stood up abruptly “Izaya!?”

 

Izaya turned his head slowly to the side. His whole body hurt like hell, but more a dull ache, and not the insufferable pain he’d been in the last week or so. He was utterly exhausted, and quite confused on his surroundings; the only thing that made sense right now, was Shizuo. Izaya knew that he’d been here, the whole time, even if there was no way of him really knowing; Izaya knew because he knew _him._ “H-hey…..” it was obvious that Izaya was extremely weakened from the previous events, Shizuo could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice.

 

“I- you….Izaya, are you-” Izaya gave him a small smile, there was still a little pain, but it was mild and tolerable. He only imagined it due to mainly exhaustion. “Shinra!” Izaya flinched at the sudden loud urgency in his lover’s voice, why was he panicking?

 

Soon enough, Shinra came rushing into the room, along with Celty whom was following close behind him. “What? What is it, what’s happe…..” and Shinra stopped dead in his tracks, Izaya slowly turned his attention to him, and Shinra had to hold onto the bed post in order to stop himself from fainting. “Izaya….You’re awake” shaking his head to pull himself together, Shinra rushed over and began asking questions, all the while checking Izaya’s pulse, his pupils and monitoring his speech patterns. The confusion was to be expected, but his pulse and pupils were normal. His weakened state could be placed down to how much he’d been through in order to stay alive and get to this recovery point.

 

…………………

 

“I’d like to do a scan, just to check that there are no abnormalities” Gasaki said-who had come to check Izaya over.

 

Izaya inclined his head slightly “You mean to check….whether or not….I might be just a normal human…after all?”

 

Shizuo rolled his eyes, if Izaya was making smartass comments and insulting other people, then he couldn’t possibly be less capable. Nevertheless, the doctor sighed with slight annoyance, a frown upon his face. “Please Mr Orihara, take this seriously; what you went through was an extremely difficult recovery. I really need to make sure there are no long term effects. We should also do a blood test, just to make sure there are no other dangerous chemicals in your system”

 

Izaya bit his lip, it was little by little that he was slowly gaining back his memories of what had happened to him. The pain was never forgotten, he had remembered that within the first few seconds of waking up; what he had been slow to recover from his memory, was the reasons behind it. He was lucky, it was a miracle he was even alive, how had he recovered from this? That poison had slowly begun to eat him alive; he was quite sure of it; and yet….

Izaya grasped a fistful of the bed cover, unable to fully hide his emotions from those in the room. “Thank you…..”

 

Shinra smiled through his tears. He couldn’t stop himself from shaking. All of the pain, all of the sorrow…..it really was a miracle that he was able to even see his friend talking. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and placed his own over it, knowing it was Celty. He whispered as he leaned close to her “We got him back Celty” she lay her helmet against his head; tremors of happiness ran through her body.

 

Gasaki nodded, slightly bowing before speaking again “I still think it necessary to rule everything out. But I’m confident, given your acute awareness so far. So I’ll leave you to rest for a couple of days. Good night”

 

As the doctor turned to leave, Shizuo stopped him, grasping his arm. “Thank you. thank you so much” he said.

 

The man smiled and lay a hand on Shizuo’s shoulder “I’m truly happy for you all” and then he left them alone.

 

Shinra walked over to the bed and grabbed the little tray that contained ice chips. “We should stick to these for a few hours, until you’ve had a chance to adjust” Izaya looked at him, Shinra was avoiding looking at him directly, and he could only imagine what the doctor was thinking.

 

“I’m sorry….”

 

Shinra blinked at him, finally able to look him in the eyes “W-what for…?”

 

Izaya wasn’t even sure what he was apologising for, it wasn’t as though it was his fault that everyone thought he was dead. “I- I don’t know…everything…I guess”

 

Shinra shook his head “I don’t care. I’m just so glad to see you, I really thought-”

 

Izaya shifted slightly and lay his hand over Shinra’s arm for a second “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen….I’m sorry”

 

Shizuo frowned “Izaya, what happened was not your fault. You are not taking any blame; I’m not going to let you”

 

Shinra glanced at Celty and she gestured for them to give the two some privacy.

 

Shizuo sat down next to Izaya once their friends had left. Izaya tried to sit up, but he was still so tired and wasn’t willing to make the effort. Instead, he turned his head to the side to give Shizuo as much of his attention as he could. “Forgive me…”

 

Shizuo sighed and reached over to hold Izaya’s hand tightly “There’s nothing to forgive”

 

Izaya frowned “Yes there is. I’m not talking about the forced pseudocide” he then glanced down to avoid eye contact. “About before….”

 

Shizuo tightened his hold on the raven’s hand “Izaya look at me” Izaya swallowed and his eyes found Shizuo’s, trying hard to contain his tears “I love you. I don’t want to think about what happened before. I want to forget about it, I want to be with you….start again”

 

Izaya’s eyes widened slightly, yes they had planned on discussing that before everything went wrong. Technically they had gotten back together before his death had been faked against his will. But to still hear those words….after so much had happened, he didn’t think he deserved that. “Shizu-chan, I….” there was hesitation, not quite sure how to say what he wanted to say. What he should have said a long time ago, what he should have done a year ago when Shizuo gave him the chance.

 

Shizuo smiled and stood up, he kissed the top of Izaya’s forehead and lay his own against it for a few moments. “You should rest. Take some time; whatever it is you decide we should do, we’ll do it together” and before Shizuo could leave, Izaya made a grab for his wrist, though weak as it was. Shizuo turned to him, it still shocked him that Izaya was there, that he could talk with him and stand so close.

 

“I- I don’t need time. I’m done” Shizuo’s heart clenched, expecting to hear that their relationship was too far gone to be salvaged. Shizuo was about to leave again, if that was what Izaya truly wanted, then he couldn’t be here. Izaya’s hold didn’t relent, and he gained strength from determination to keep the blond with him. “You misunderstood me….” Shizuo stilled, not quite sure what that meant. “Shizu-chan, look at me” his own words from earlier; Shizuo turned to him and there was a smile on his face. “I don’t want to live this kind of life anymore. Its too much. There are more important things in my life that I care about now. I’m ready to move on…..I’m ready to commit to you….a hundred percent” Izaya smiled at him “Let’s move away, Shizu-chan…”

 

 


	15. Moving on

Shizuo stared at Izaya in absolute disbelief, eyes unblinking as he tried to take in just what his lover had said to him. Surely he didn’t hear that right? Shizuo mentally shook his head, nah, he couldn’t have. Izaya’s light chuckle snapped him out of it, as well as a clicking sound made by the raven’s fingers in front of his face. Shizuo opened his mouth to say something but all that came out was a small squeak of surprise, and given his deep voice, it was more like a grunt.

 

Izaya raised an eyebrow, had his little confession surprised him that much? He supposed in a way that it probably might have, all those times that Shizuo tried to convince him that they should leave, only to be shut down. Now though, Izaya was the one to ask the question; why? Because he’d had enough, he was tired of it all, tired and fed up of fighting for his life. “Shizu-chan? Are you feeling ok?”

 

Shizuo backed up slightly in order to sit on the chair behind him, the expression on Izaya’s face was enough to convince him that he meant every word. “Izaya, are you sure?”

 

Izaya nodded; he felt the pull of all his stitches as he attempted to sit up against the pillows, couldn’t stop the hiss that escaped his mouth and Shizuo darted forward to help him. Izaya smiled weakly, grateful for the support as the blond pushed the pillows up and managed to help him get more comfortable. “Ah…Sorry, I’m still a little tired, and my injuries are bothering me” Shizuo frowned in concern, Izaya took his hand with a smile “Don’t worry….I’m all right, it’s just going to take a bit of time to heal….that’s all” Shizuo nodded, curling his whole hand around Izaya’s much smaller one. He looked down at them, rubbing his thumb over the top of the raven’s hand, biting his lower lip. “What’s wrong Shizu-chan?”

 

Shizuo blinked and soon realised that his eyes were becoming misty, he gave a laugh and wiped them with his sleeve. “Well that’s embarrassing”

 

Izaya tightened his grip on Shizuo’s hand and the blond looked into his eyes, Izaya smiled a little “I’ve missed you too”

 

Shizuo closed his eyes for a moment, leaning forward, his hair falling into his eyes. “Yeah. but the loss I felt, it’s still kind of lingering inside… I can’t, I feel like I’m going to wake up from this and you’re just going to be gone”

 

Izaya frowned, wincing as he leant up on his elbow, reaching over to touch Shizuo’s face with his other hand. “Hey. Look at me” Shizuo looked at him, unable to contain his tears any longer “I’m not going to disappear….this is real, it’s not a dream Shizu-chan…”

 

“How do I know that for sure? Izaya…how many times must you almost slip away from me, I already feel like I lost you again…”

 

Izaya bit back his own tears and leaned forward slightly; taking tremendous effort to ignore his injures, Izaya pressed his lips against Shizuo’s. the kiss was slow, tender and light, just barely brushing their lips together, but it was enough for now. When they pulled away, Shizuo’s eyes were slightly wide and Izaya found himself grinning. “I hope….that convinced you” he said, leaning back slowly against the pillows with a small grunt of pain. Damn, he really was weak, it took everything he had to just move.

 

“It’s a start” Shizuo said with a little grin of his own, causing Izaya to chuckle. Shizuo dropped the smile and sighed, fingertips stroking gently over the raven’s arm, mindful of his stitches. “Were you serious before, about moving away?”

 

Izaya opened his eyes, he’d almost nodded off there, he was so exhausted. “Hm?”

 

Shizuo looked at him and noticed how tired he looked “Get some sleep, you need to get your strength back”

 

“Sorry…, what was your question?”

 

Shizuo huffed and leaned over to kiss the top of Izaya’s forehead “Sleep. You’ve just fought against a deadly poison, not to mention some serious injuries. So just rest ok?”

 

Izaya tried to laugh but it came out a little forced, “I know….I’ll rest. Ask me the question first”

 

 _Stubborn flea, as always_ but Shizuo didn’t care, he was just so relieved to have him back, quite literally. “Were you serious about moving away?” he repeated

 

Izaya nodded and sighed as his eyes stared up at the ceiling “I’ve had about as much as I can take…..It’s always been said that I have nine lives….well, I think…I’ve reached my last one. I don’t want to waste it, I want to live it with you and-” Izaya’s eyes then widened, he looked at Shizuo “Shit…Mai, Shizu-chan! What are we supposed to tell her?”

 

Shizuo grasped Izaya’s shoulder, sensing that he was about to panic “Calm down. We’ll think of something, she’s a smart kid, she can handle this”

 

Izaya looked at him like he’d grown an extra head “She’s seven! She’s going to think I’m a walking corpse!”

 

Shizuo grimaced at the terminology used and grabbed Izaya’s hand “Calm down. It’ll be ok, though I really wouldn’t use the word corpse around her” Shizuo smiled a little “Izaya, she’ll be fine”

 

Izaya relaxed a little, but his body was aching, begging to rest. He looked at Shizuo through half lidded eyes “I meant what I said. Should have done so when you first suggested it….if I had, then none of this would ha-” Shizuo placed his lips against Izaya’s again, and the kiss was a little more passionate this time, but still gentle.

 

Shizuo smiled down at him “You’re here, that’s all that matters to me now. Whether we stay here, or move somewhere, I don’t care, as long as you’re there with me”

 

Izaya’s fingers wrapped around a Shizuo’s wrist “It’s better to start again if we’re not here. The more we stay here, the less likely it is that we’ll be safe”

 

Shizuo nodded “It’s up to you”

 

“I think I need sleep now….but there’s a few questions I still need to ask…”

 

Shizuo brushed the black strands from Izaya’s face “Later. I know what you probably want to know, but that can wait, just get some rest ok?”

 

Izaya hummed and then sighed as sleep finally took him over.

 

…………………………

 

Within a week of recovery, Izaya had been informed about what had happened to Jinnai, and he’d never been so relieved to hear of someone’s death. It meant that it was truly over, meant that when they did decide to move away, they weren’t going to be plagued by fear of being followed. A deep regret filled his heart when the news of Satoshi’s death was explained, while he held contempt for the man after what he’d done, he had hoped for a better ending for him. Satoshi had been his ally and friend for a long time, considered a friend of the family, and Izaya couldn’t help but feel the pain of loss. If only he had come to him for help in the first place, if only he had explained what was going on, Izaya would have done anything to help him. Even so, he was glad that Satoshi’s family were safe, and he knew they’d be all right eventually.

 

Izaya moved to sit up; he was recovering slowly, but he was no longer exhausted all the time. The tests that Gasaki and Shinra wanted to perform came back with promising results, relieved to know that he wasn’t brain damaged-which had been obvious to anyone that knew him well enough- and he’d likely make a full recovery, in the sense that his lungs and his heart hadn’t suffered any permanent damage. Izaya didn’t mind either way, if his lungs had been weakened, he wouldn’t have been too bothered, since it was highly unlikely that he’d ever be running for his life or forced to engage in parkour and physical defence, at least he didn’t plan to. While he had woken up a couple of times due to a nightmare, PTSD had been somewhat ruled out, because whatever Izaya had been through in his life, he’d have developed that a long time ago. Shinra had assured him that the nightmares would pass once the decision to move away was put into action.

 

Izaya felt guilty, while Shinra had supported the decision to move away, Izaya and Shizuo had yet to tell him where. However, there were still some obstacles to overcome before they could make the move. Their friends and family were still unaware that Izaya was alive, because they needed to make sure that the raven was really going to be all right before informing them. Izaya looked over at the door and smiled as Shizuo walked in, wearing a black and white suit. Izaya had moved so that he could sit on the edge of the bed, trying to get used to supporting himself again. “Hey” he greeted as Shizuo walked over to him “How was the funeral?” he felt bad that he couldn’t attend; two important reasons gave him a good excuse, one being that he was still recovering and couldn’t hardly walk by himself yet; and the other major one, was that he didn’t think it was a good idea to show up at a funeral when he was actually supposed to be dead himself.

 

“Weird. I mean, I felt sad I guess. But not a sense of loss, just- sad that it turned out the way it did”

 

“I know. it’s understandable Shizu-chan, so don’t feel guilty”

 

Shizuo then moved to sit down next to him “Listen, are you sure you’re up for this yet?”

 

Izaya looked at him and nodded, laying his head on Shizuo’s shoulder. “One step at a time. It should be soon. They’re going to think it a little odd that Satoshi’s funeral came before mine, not to mention that you’ve been avoiding the plans with them for the past week”

 

Shizuo frowned, Izaya felt him tense “Can we- can we not talk about that?”

 

Izaya leaned off his shoulder and placed his hand in Shizuo’s “Sorry…I didn’t mean to upset you”

 

Shizuo shook his head “Not your fault. I just don’t want to think about it”

 

Izaya smiled, tightening his hold “Here’s a thought….we could just- not tell them”

 

Shizuo turned to him with a gape “You can’t be fucking serious?”

 

Izaya raised an eyebrow “Well….I’m alive, but- it’s more like, ‘hey, I’m not really dead, nice to see you, by the way we’re moving away’”

 

Shizuo sighed, he could see Izaya’s point but- “We have to tell them Izaya”

 

Izaya chuckled at little “You’re probably right….just a passing thought”

 

Shizuo then realised something, and it was something he should have guessed at before. “Izaya, you don’t know how much everyone really missed you, do you?”

 

Izaya buried his face in the crook of Shizuo’s neck “Saw through that…huh”

 

Shizuo sighed and wrapped his arm around Izaya “Stupid flea. You really have no idea how much it affected everyone. They fell apart you know…..everyone, the mourning was- it was hard”

 

Izaya was honestly surprised, had his death affected them that much? He wasn’t all that surprised about Shizuo obviously- but the others, their friends…. “I- I didn’t realise that I- that I meant that much to them….”

 

Shizuo nodded and tightened his hold “More then you will ever know” Izaya let out a shaky breath “You ok?”

 

“Hm…. Yeah, I think. Mai should be the first person to know”

 

Shizuo nodded, that made sense. He scratched the back of his head. “Yeah. well, she’s kind of- here”

 

Izaya’s eyes widened “What?”

 

“She doesn’t know yet. But she wanted to come with me when I told her I was coming back here. Of course, I was actually coming here to see you”

 

Izaya looked down at his feet, his hands started to shake “Shizu-chan…what do I say?”

 

“Just relax. It’ll be ok. I promise. I think it might help if I try to explain first, before she sees you”

 

Izaya nodded, biting his lower lip “It’s my fault….it’s all my fault”

 

Shizuo frowned and lifted Izaya’s head up by his chin. “No Izaya. It’s not, none of this is your fault, do you hear me?” Izaya turned and wrapped his arms around Shizuo’s neck, burying his face in his chest, and Shizuo could hear the faint sounds of sobs. Shizuo wondered when this was going to happen, Izaya had been too strong, trying to hold it together, he was eventually going to break. “It’s all right now”

 

“I’m sorry….Shizu-chan”

 

Shizuo shifted and wrapped his arms around him, rubbing his back “You don’t have to apologise. But, yeah….I’m sorry too, for everything, I should never have left you”

 

Izaya’s grip on the back of his jacket tightened “You came back….”

 

Shizuo smiled, tears running down his face “Always…”

 

“I love you, Shizu-chan….”

 

“I love you too. So much”

 

Izaya pulled back and Shizuo looked at him, raising his hand to wipe Izaya’s tears from his face. “I’m ready”

 

Shizuo kissed his forehead “Are you sure?”

 

Izaya nodded “Let me see my little girl”

 

Shizuo smiled and stood up from the bed and left the room. Izaya was left alone for a moment, he was trying hard to keep himself calm, while listening to Shizuo’s vague explanation of what had happened. Mai was smart for her age, but this was big, and Izaya didn’t want her to be scared. He wanted so badly to hold her close and reassure her that he was ok; Shizuo had told him how much Mai had broken down when she was told about his ‘death’ the guilt that clung to him was overwhelming, it was suffocating. There was suddenly a strange silence and Izaya prepared himself. He looked up to see Shizuo peering in the doorway, there was a slight smile on his face, that was good right? “Someone wants to see you” Shizuo said, and with that, his little girl come running into the room, bursting into tears.

 

“Iz-nii!!” Izaya gasped when Mai jumped on the bed, eyes clenched shut and threw herself at him. She clung to him so tightly, but Izaya didn’t have the heart to remind her of his injuries. “I missed you so much!!” her cries were loud and painful, Izaya wrapped his arms around her, tears clouding his eyes.

 

“Shhh. I know Mai, I know. it’s ok, I’m here sweetheart”

 

“I thought I’d never see you again…”

 

Izaya rested his chin on her head, kissing the top of it as he continued to hold her. “I know. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Mai…but I’m here now…I won’t leave you again”

 

Mai’s hold tightened and she cried into his long blue gown.

 

                    ………………….

 

Izaya looked up as Shizuo came and sat beside them, he stroked the top of Mai’s hair. “I think she’s fallen asleep” he said. Izaya nodded and Shizuo moved to pick her up

 

“No, let her sleep here. she’s fine” so the two of them moved her to a more comfortable position, laying her across the bed. Izaya shifted to lay back with her, stroking her head and wiping her tears. “How did I get so lucky?”

 

Shizuo smiled and covered Izaya’s other hand with his “I was going to ask the same thing” Izaya returned the smile.

 

“Are we really going to debate over who is luckier? Because I’m pretty sure I’d win”

 

Shizuo laughed, he didn’t really care. “Maybe”

 

“It’s true. I gained everything when I gained you”

 

Shizuo wasn’t going to argue with him, Izaya was too stubborn, he leaned forward and kissed the raven deeply. “Marry me Izaya”

 

Izaya gasped a little and then tilted his head in confusion “Did we break our civil partnership?”

 

Shizuo huffed a laugh “No. I didn’t mean that. I meant for real this time, properly. So, will you?”

 

Izaya smiled “You really had to ask?”

 

Shizuo nodded “Sure. It’s tradition right?”

 

Izaya laughed “Well, tradition states that you’re supposed to be down on one knee when you ask that”

 

Shizuo stood up “All right” he then got down on one knee, and then pulled out a velvet box, opening it to reveal a silver band. “Will you marry me, Izaya?”

 

Izaya had no idea when Shizuo had found the time to buy the ring, but he didn’t care, he nodded and smiled. “Yes. I will” Shizuo grinned and slipped the ring on his left hand finger before standing up to kiss him again. “Good thing we’re moving somewhere that has it legalised then”

 

Shizuo laughed “Yeah, but I kind of got the feeling that was the whole reason you chose New York in the first place”

 

Izaya hunched his shoulders “Busted”

 

“Why New York anyway? There are plenty of other places besides America that legalise same sex marriage right?”

 

Izaya nodded “That’s true. But an old Acquaintance of mine from there owes me a favour” Shizuo frowned a little, Izaya rolled his eyes “Don’t give me that look. It’s a female, for a start. And it’s nothing like that, she’s a real estate broker and she wants to help us get a nice house”

 

Shizuo blinked “A house?”

 

Izaya smiled “I don’t know about you. but I’m pretty much done with apartments” Shizuo was surprised, he had a feeling that one day they might end up in a house, but that was before everything screwed up. “She sent me this earlier” Izaya took his phone from the nightstand that had been brought by Shizuo in the week he was recovering. He pulled up the email and showed Shizuo the house, scrolling through the images. “It’s got three bedrooms, two full sized bathrooms, a large private back yard, the dining and living room areas are big too. It’s very open compared to others, and definitely a lot more than our apartment. It’s close to schools and restaurants, she’s even got me a job lined up, and with my-people skills, I could earn a large sum within just a few months”

 

Shizuo whistled at the sight of the house, it was extremely luxurious, though not too in your face with its appearance. “Is this the kind of life you really want? It’s not that I’m complaining or anything, it’s obvious you’ve put great thought into it; it’s just that, it’s so _normal_ ”

 

Izaya smiled and lay his head against the pillows. “Like I said. I’m done with this life now. it’s taken me too many close calls to realise that, if I really do have one life left, then this is what I want” he then grinned “Besides. It’s not as though everything has changed. I’d still be a broker”

 

Shizuo huffed a laugh, rolling his eyes. “Great. So instead of manipulating people for information, you’re going to manipulate them into buying a house”

 

Izaya pouted “I wouldn’t put it quite like that” and then another grin crossed his face “But basically, yes”

 

Shizuo shook his head, not even going to comment on that. “Don’t suppose she has a job for me?”

 

Izaya smirked and sat up a little “Ah. My other surprise. Turns out, there’s a very elegant little get together place where a lot of high end businesspeople like to go. Friendly apparently”

 

“What does that require?”

 

Izaya couldn’t contain the small giggle that came out as he grinned “Well~let’s just say you won’t have to buy any uniforms”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened “A bartender job?”

 

Izaya smiled “If you want it, it’s yours. You’ve got good experience, and they’re looking for that”

 

Shizuo couldn’t believe it. “That’s- I mean….”

 

Izaya reached for his hand “It’s the least I could do”

 

Shizuo squeezed his hand “Don’t start”

 

Izaya chuckled “Sorry. So what do you think? Our lives are pretty much set for us, all we have to do is say yes”

 

Shizuo smiled “How exactly can I say no to that? still, the house is kind of- a lot”

 

“Well, our jobs are good. Besides, we have a lot of savings at the moment. And if I take the job she’s offering, she can knock a hundred off the price”

 

Shizuo raised an eyebrow “Are we positive that your head is ok? because a hundred dollars is really really pathetic”

 

Izaya rolled his eyes “And _I’m_ the one supposedly to have brain damage? Shizu-chan, not just a hundred dollars. A hundred _thousand_ ”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened again, and a gasp escaped from his lips. “Oh”

 

Izaya chuckled “And my head is perfectly fine, thank you”

 

Shizuo blushed in embarrassment “Heh. Sorry about that. A hundred thousand huh. She must be really desperate to get you on her side”

 

Izaya smirked “I do have a certain _quality_ about me. Only natural that she’d want my skills as a broker. Informant or not, I’m still good”

 

Shizuo rolled his eyes a little “As long as that’s all she wants”

 

Izaya laughed loudly “Oh please. Like she’d even have a chance. Relax, she knows I only swing one way, and very much toward you”

 

There was comfortable silence for a moment until Shizuo spoke again “I guess the last step is telling our friends and family about you”

 

“First step Shizu-chan. The last step will be telling them we’re moving to a new city, and not within this country”

 

“Well, if we want to give them a double heart attack, seems like the right way to do it”

 

Izaya chuckled and then looked down at Mai, who was still asleep, curled up to him. “If this little one can handle it, then we’ve got nothing to worry about”

……………………

 

 

Everyone was in the living room of Shinra and Celty’s apartment, the two owners were stood beside Shizuo, there to support him in what he had to say. Anri was stood beside Mikado, Shizuo had told her that she didn’t have to tell anyone that she knew what this was about, he didn’t want her to receive any backlash.  Masaomi was stood beside the armchair that was occupied by Saki and their baby, whom was almost two months old now. Kadota and his group were sat around the living room floor, Mairu and Kururi had taken two of the seats on the couch, along with Tom, who was sat at the end. Namie was stood with a somewhat bored expression on her face by the entrance door of the apartment, having no idea why she of all people had to be here.

 

Shizuo was standing near the back door of the guest room, with his two best friends beside him, ready to explain why he’d called everyone here. He was so nervous, how were they all going to react? He himself had a hard time with the shock of seeing Izaya again; this was going to freak them out. _Where do I start?_ He thought. _Maybe telling everyone at once might not have been a good idea after all._ He couldn’t imagine how Izaya must be feeling, he was the most nervous, having no idea how overwhelming it was going to be.

 

“So what’s going on Shizuo?” Came the question from Kadota; Shizuo always did feel better when he was there too, he knew how to keep things together.

 

Shizuo let out a deep breath, scratching the back of his head. “I don’t quite know how to explain all this, so just bear with me because it’s going to sound insane”

 

All attention was on him now and he suddenly felt like he’d shrunk, why was this so hard? He was happy-ecstatic even! And yet, he didn’t know how to explain so that he could share this feeling with them. “Are you ok?” Came Mairu’s voice. He was worried about their reactions the most, he only wished that his parents were here too, but Izaya wanted to tell them separately.

 

“Ok....here goes” Shizuo breathed out with a slight frown. Before he could try and get his words out, Mai came into the room, running up to his side, they all watched her tug on his black pant leg. Shizuo bent down to her level and she then whispered something in his ear. Shizuo looked at her in surprise, he gave a nervous glance to their friends and stood up. “Eh. Give me a second...” Shizuo then left the room.

 

The twins shared a confused expression while everyone else in the room blinked and mumbled amongst themselves. “He’s acting weird” Kururi said

 

“Give him a break,” Kadota replied “He’s going through a lot right now”

 

A snort came from Namie, causing their attention to turn toward her. “While he certainly has the right to be acting weird, since he suffered the greater loss. But that doesn’t mean we’re not all feeling the same. I’m not above admitting that Izaya’s death has hit us all hard”

 

A solemn atmosphere surrounded the group as their faces downcast and an overall expression of sadness came over them.

 

“Now you’re the least person I expected to hear that from Namie. I had no idea my missing presence would affect you that much” suddenly, everyone snapped their head over to the doorway where Shizuo had been standing, only to find said man there again, but.... a slight smile and half grin appeared on the face of the one whom Shizuo was standing next to; Mai on his lap as he occupied a wheelchair, she was curled into his chest as she faced everyone.

 

They stared speechless, neither one of them moved a muscle, and Namie had to grasp the handle of the door to stop herself from falling over.

 

“Holy crap” Tom muttered

 

Izaya glanced around the room, their reaction was expected, an eerie tension sliced through the room as those within it remained silent, gaping at him in absolute shock. Izaya’s fingers shook slightly over the wheels of his chair, feeling slightly worried now. He’d come in here with such confidence; rather than trying to impact any more sadness on them-since Shizuo was having an extremely hard time explaining the situation-Izaya decided that a spontaneous appearance might be better, and Namie gave him the perfect opening. Now that he was in front of them though, his confidence begun to waver; a strong hand on his shoulder though, gave him support, Shizuo was there beside him and Mai was curled up on his lap-there was nothing to be afraid of if they were here. “There’s a perfectly good explanation.....” he said, trying to keep his voice from breaking.

 

Izaya soon began to explain to everyone what really happened to him, immediately ruling out that he had no part in faking his death and that Shizuo didn’t know he was alive until he’d been found at the old prison. He explained what happened when he entered his apartment; it helped that they already knew Satoshi was working for Jinnai to protect his family. What they were all unaware of however, was the large part he played in faking Izaya’s death.

 

Without going into great detail, Izaya explained about his kidnapping and how he’d escaped with the help of Celty and Shizuo. He told them that it was his own decision to keep them all in the dark, due to what had happened to him and that he had been very unsure if he was going to survive.

 

Shinra made his input then, informing them about Izaya’s injuries and the poison he’d been infected with; again, not going into much detail, for Mai’s sake mostly.

 

“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you all sooner....it’s just-“ Izaya’s grip tightened on the wheel as he chewed his lower lip “I really didn’t think I was going to make it. There would have been no point in telling you, if it just meant goodbye again...”

 

Mairu’s eyes watered, she and Kururi stood up and were the first to make their way toward him. Izaya gestured for Mai to get off his lap so that they could reach him properly. Mai shifted and scooted off to stand by Shizuo, grasping his hand. Speaking slowly and almost ready to burst into tears, Mairu spoke “You’re- really alive right?” Izaya smiled and reached his hand out for them to hold. Together, the twins held out a hand to Izaya’s, gasping as he curled his hand over theirs. Unable to hold in their emotions any longer, Mairu and Kururi wrapped their arms around him, kneeling down slightly. Izaya sighed with guilt and embraced his sisters as tightly as he could.

 

The others in the room simply stared at the scene, still in shock. None of them knew what they were feeling the most of, but the strong happiness that stirred within them was enough to tell them how relieved they were, whatever else was going through their minds didn’t matter.

 

“I’m sorry for keeping this from you” Izaya told the twins once they had pulled away.

 

Mairu shook her head “It wasn’t your fault ok? You can’t blame yourself”

 

Shizuo snorted “That’s what I keep telling him”

 

Kadota walked up to him next, Mairu and Kururi stepped to the side. Izaya looked up at him with a grin “Dota-chin”

 

Kadota huffed a laugh, not even caring about the nickname. He ruffled Izaya’s hair in a teasing manner “It’s good to have you back Izaya, we all missed you a lot”

 

Izaya smiled a little “So I heard. Who knew I was that important to you”

 

Masaomi placed his hands behind his head “Don’t flatter yourself, we were sad,  if only the fact that we would miss you annoying us”

 

Izaya tilted his head “I see”

 

Saki rolled her eyes “He’s totally lying. He cried”

 

The blond young man gasped and turned to her “Saki!” Izaya raised an eyebrow at him as Masaomi turned back to face him. The blond huffed and folded his arms “Whatever” and Izaya chuckled.

 

There was a sudden squeal and Kadota was almost knocked off his feet, Izaya’s eyes widened as he suddenly became enveloped in a tight hug by Erika. “As much as their enemies tried to pull them apart, their love was too strong, and nothing could break their bond!”

 

Shizuo covered his face with one hand, Erika would never change.

 

Izaya winced and tried to awkwardly hug her back before saying “I appreciate the enthusiastic greeting and the blunt description of what I assume is about Shizu-chan and I. However, I might be alive-but....Erika, I’m still kind of- healing”

 

Erika gasped and let him go, a somewhat guilty expression on her face, even though she was still grinning. “Sorry!”

 

Izaya glanced to the side and Erika gave some room as Namie practically glared down at him. She was clearly mad, and Izaya would be willing to bet that it was only because he made her miss him. With how she was displaying herself in a defensive stance, he thought she might slap him. He was surprised to find a smile crossing her features and a gasp escaped him as she gave him a short hug before saying “Welcome back, idiot”

 

Izaya laughed “Thanks, and I apologise for making you miss me”

 

Namie sneered at him and walked away “Shut up”

 

Celty typed a message and then showed it to Shinra [Let’s have a party]

 

Shinra grinned “That’s a great idea!”

 

.............................

 

It took some time, but a comfortable atmosphere soon made its way through their group of friends. Food was prepared by Celty and drinks were prepared by none other than Shizuo, wanting to get some practice in. It wasn’t long before they were talking and laughing amongst each other. Izaya was situated in the living room, surrounded by the trio he’d known for a long time- Mikado, Anri and Masaomi. It was strange, even now, to be talking to them in such a normal way. Weird to think they were now the age he was when he first met them, all grown up and starting their lives over-in a sense.

 

Saki soon came over to join them, the baby comfortable in her arms. Izaya smiled at her as she stopped in front of him. “Someone wants to meet you” she told him before leaning forward, attempting to hand the baby over to him. Izaya wasn’t quite sure how to feel, he was supposed to have been there to visit at the hospital once the baby was born.

 

“She looks too comfortable in your arms. I don’t want to disturb her”

 

Saki rolled her eyes, knowing he was giving a lame attempt at a subtle guilty act. “Come on. She needs to meet her godfather” Izaya raised an eyebrow and she smiled at him “Who else would we pick?”

 

“Perhaps someone who’s a better influence?”

 

Masaomi snorted “Oh yeah. like Mikado here?”

 

Mikado stomped his foot “Hey!”

 

“You know it’s true man”

 

Saki giggled and gave Izaya no more chances to avoid the situation and handed the bundle to him. Izaya felt a familiar paternal instinct within him stir, remembering how he’d held Mai like this when she was a baby. “She’s beautiful. Though I feel kind of bad that you named her Kanra”

 

Saki smiled and stood beside Masaomi, placing her hand in his. “It was Masaomi’s idea”

 

Izaya looked up at him with questionable expression. The blond huffed, his feelings about Izaya’s disappearance once again revealed. “Well....it made sense at the time....” he said

 

Izaya smiled, understanding the implications there. He looked back down at the baby in his arms, she then opened her eyes and he smiled. He felt a gaze on him and looked up to see Shizuo watching him, a warm expression on his face. Izaya returned the sentiment, they were clearly on the same thinking wavelength.

 

Once the excitement and surprises had died down, and a sense of calm filled the room, Izaya and Shizuo decided that it was the perfect time to announce their news. The blond stood beside Izaya, with Mai back sitting on the raven’s lap, she had barely left his side. “There’s something we want to tell you all” Shizuo began, loud enough to catch everyone’s attention. Silence filled the room as they looked to the couple, waiting for them to share whatever it was that was on their minds. “There’s been a lot that’s happened in the past several years, a lot of it bad.... Izaya and I have agreed that we don’t want to raise Mai in this kind of life anymore. We were selfish and we fell on hard times....neither of us expected the outcomes that were presented to us, and it’s made us realise that we want a better life than this. We’ve both discussed it and it wasn’t an easy decision, but one that we don’t want to pass up. We’re moving away”

 

A unison of gasps sounded around the room, Shinra and Celty had already been informed, so it didn’t come as much of a shock, yet they sensed there was something they hadn’t been told.

 

“How far away are we talking? Which city?” Mairu asked first, she was dreading her answer

 

“Just a few hours away right?” Shinra said

 

Izaya took a deep breath, preparing himself for their reactions. “We can’t risk staying in the district, it doesn’t matter what city of Japan we’re in, there are still dangerous adversaries that will jump at the chance to go after us. We need a fresh start, a complete beginning”

 

Kadota gave a thoughtful frown “So, what are you saying?”

 

Izaya reached out and Shizuo didn’t hesitate to link his hand together with Izaya’s. “We’re moving to New York”

 

A loud gasp filled the silence “You’re moving countries!?” Shinra exclaimed

 

Izaya nodded, a sad smile on his face “We feel it’s the right move to make. We’ve already got jobs lined up and a house if we want it”

 

Tom was in despair, he walked up to Shizuo and the blond looked at him with guilt “Shizuo. You’ve been my best friend since middle school. It’s not going to be the same without you. I know you quit your job when- but I thought that since Izaya was back with you, that you might work with me again”

 

Shizuo lay his hand on Tom’s shoulder “I’m sorry Tom. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But Izaya and I know that if we carry on the same way as before....one day, one of us is really going to-“ Shizuo stopped himself from saying it, but Tom understood what he meant. “Nothing will change for us until we make the first step”

 

“I understand. Gonna miss ya though”

 

“Yeah. You too”

 

“And what the hell am I supposed to do?” Namie shouted, not about to stay quiet

 

Izaya glanced over at her “I spoke with Shinra’s father after he’d finished having a minor heart attack of course. He said that he needs a trusted associate to accompany him on a job for Nebula corporation. If you’re interested” Namie blinked in surprise and then before she opened her mouth, Izaya spoke again “The pay will exceed what I gave you”

 

Namie grinned and then folded her arms “In that case, Bon voyage. You will be-somewhat missed” she then smiled “Good luck”

 

Izaya chuckled and returned the smile “You too”

 

Mairu and Kururi didn’t know what to say, they made their way toward Izaya. “You’re the only family we have left” Mairu said and then glanced up at Shizuo. “You too”

 

Shizuo smiled and placed his hand on her head and said “Don’t worry. We’ll always be family”

 

Izaya felt guilty for leaving them, but they were grown adults, it wasn’t as though they really needed him anymore. “I’m sorry to spring this on you. But I’d rather leave before anyone else hears about my survival. Our parents don’t need to know, since our mother used to say I was dead to her anyway, so it can stay that way, quite literally”

 

Mairu tilted her head “I understand about them. But, you’re not going to tell Akane and the Awakusu? Or Mikage and Kine?”

 

Izaya shook his head “The less people that know, the better it will be for us” Izaya smiled “The only ones that matter, are already here”

 

Kururi chewed her lip “Won’t be the same without you” she said

 

Izaya wrapped his arms around them when they leaned in to hug him. “Maybe you can visit” he said with misty eyes.

 

Mairu grinned  “Damn right we will”

 

Shizuo then spoke up “We’ve still got a few things to settle. And we’ve got a lot of paperwork to fill out to be able to claim residency” he looked at Izaya for confirmation “I explained that correctly, right?” Izaya laughed and nodded “Anyway. It’s going to be at least a few weeks. We wanna make sure Izaya is healed enough, and we still haven’t told my parents about him yet”

 

“You know, _he_ is sitting right here” Izaya said with a little pout

 

Shizuo looked down at him, and instead of replying with a teasing comment, he smiled and lay his hand on Izaya’s shoulder. “I know. And you have no idea what that means to me” Izaya gave an embarrassed laugh but was cut off when Shizuo leaned down to kiss him.

 

Erika jumped with an excited squeal “Oh yeah! That’s how it should be!”

 

Shizuo chuckled and both males were now slightly blushing. Mai giggled, not caring in the slightest, she was just so happy, not only did she have her Iz-nii back, but her family too.

 

..............................

 

Shizuo pushed a heavy box into the open truck that was parked outside their apartment building. He glanced over to see Izaya bringing another box, and Shizuo could see the slight struggle he was having. “Oi. I told you not to lift anything heavy. You shouldn’t be exerting yourself just yet. You’re not completely healed” Shizuo immediately took the box off his partner and placed it in the truck.

 

Izaya huffed and leaned against one of the doors. “I can’t just do nothing. I’m perfectly fine”

 

Shizuo rolled his eyes “Try telling me that again without almost falling over” Izaya pouted at him “You know I’m right. Quit pulling that face” Izaya didn’t relent and Shizuo chuckled as he pressed his lips to Izaya’s. The raven melted in an instant, arms coming to wrap around Shizuo’s neck to deepen the kiss. His tongue darted out and grazed along teeth, Shizuo moaned and opened his mouth to allow access. He pushed Izaya gently against the door, hand coming down to slide over his side.

 

Izaya pulled away, glancing into the truck, as if assessing the space. He then grinned and stepped up onto the ramp, pulling Shizuo with him. “While I may not be allowed to lift heavy objects. What we’re about to do requires none of that” Shizuo gasped as he stepped onto the ramp with the raven.

 

“Are you crazy? We’re in public! And- you’re not fully healed” Shizuo stuttered, but his body was reacting differently to what he was saying.

 

Izaya gave him a lustful look, pressing himself against Shizuo, hands roaming over his shirt. “Are you telling me that you don’t want me right now? That you don’t want to take me right here in the truck.....” Izaya nipped at the blond’s neck “To be deep inside me....” he kissed down to Shizuo’s chest while opening up his shirt and licking at pert nipples, causing the blond to gasp in pleasure “To take me slow and then fuck me into orgasm” Shizuo groaned as his cock throbbed at Izaya’s words, the raven grinned, aching to fulfil his promise as he cupped Shizuo’s erection through the fabric of his pants. “Now. What’s your answer?”

 

Shizuo growled with lust, and, ignoring the fact that Izaya had clearly just seduced him, he grabbed both doors and slammed them shut, making sure to secure its lock before pinning Izaya down across several boxes. “I say we’ve been waiting for this a long time”

 

Izaya grinned and his hands reached up and unbuckled Shizuo’s pants and pulled them down, Shizuo mimicked his movements and did the same to Izaya’s. The two rid themselves of that particular piece of clothing, along with their boxers. Izaya gasped when Shizuo leaned over him, grinding against his hard cock. “Mmm.... Shizu-chan” he then took the blond’s hand and began to slowly suck on three of his fingers. Shizuo watched him with growing need, Izaya’s tongue swirled around his long digits, causing a shudder to run through him. Izaya pulled his mouth away and grinned up at him. “Whenever you’re ready” he was well aware of the mesmerising look he was receiving.

 

Shizuo snapped out of it and Izaya moaned a little as he moved down slightly. Shizuo pushed against Izaya’s thigh and lowered his hand down over his ass. Izaya arched when he felt a finger penetrate him, sliding deep inside. Shizuo found himself grinning, happy that he could still cause this reaction in Izaya, just from a simple act. He was alert though, listening out for any change in the raven’s body that would suggest he was hurting. Nothing but pleasure sounds escaped his lips however as Shizuo slid his finger inside, along with a second.

 

“Yes....” Izaya hissed as he grasped Shizuo’s shoulder “More....” he arched again as the fingers inside him curled and pushed in and out, a third added and opened him wider, scissoring as they repeatedly thrust in. “Fuck....You- you should.... stop-“ Izaya panted, and Shizuo didn’t stop, in fact his hand picked up speed “Stop- before- I....aahhh!” And Izaya came, a burst of white across their chests. Breathing heavily, he flopped back against the boxes. “Shit....”

 

Shizuo leaned over and kissed Izaya deeply and then moved across him, licking a trail all the way down to his navel. He noticed, with slight amusement, that even though his lover had orgasmed, his cock still twitched. “Izaya...” Shizuo said quietly as he leaned down and took the head in his mouth. Izaya clenched a fist, suppressing a moan as Shizuo began to suck him.

 

“Ooooh....Fuck....I’m - ah- still- ngh- hard...Shizu-chan...” Shizuo pulled away with a lick against the leaking hole causing Izaya to shudder and reach up to grab his shoulders. “Fuck me Shizu-chan. No more waiting....do it, fuck me now!”

 

Shizuo chuckled and felt his need throb painfully. He lifted Izaya’s legs over his shoulder, still mindful of his state of health.  He positioned himself at Izaya’s entrance.

 

The raven wasn’t happy with Shizuo’s hesitation, but he knew the reasons behind it. Panting slightly from being made to wait, he opened his eyes, half lidded and said “Take me. Fuck me hard until we’ve _both_ come”

 

Shizuo gritted his teeth, damn it, Izaya sure knew how to get to him. “I’ll make you scream my name”

 

Izaya grinned “Good. So do it”

 

Shizuo didn’t hesitate any longer, he pushed his cock against Izaya’s entrance, the raven clawed at his shoulder as Shizuo pushed deep inside him, filling him completely. Shizuo waited a moment, always had done before, now was no different. Izaya gripped his shoulder tighter, dragging his nails across them, causing Shizuo to moan.

 

“Move” Izaya demanded, and Shizuo did. The blond pulled back slightly and began thrusting into Izaya with consistency, even though he didn’t want to go too far, he could tell by Izaya’s frantic demands that the raven wanted it. Needed it. Craved it. Shizuo lifted him slightly and thrust even deeper inside, causing Izaya to moan loudly. “More! Yes! Ah- ah- oh god....harder!” Shizuo panted as he placed his hands flat on the boxes and thrust harder, using his weight to keep Izaya in place. “Yes! Ah-don’t stop! Fuck me! Faster! Harder!”

 

Shizuo grunted and pulled back almost all the way and plunged his cock inside, in and out with faster movements. He switched angles and lifted one of Izaya’s legs up and pounded into him with more force, Izaya cried out in pleasure. “Izaya...I’m - I’m close...shit”

 

“Ah! Yes-yes! Do it - harder! Fuck me! Bring me to my limit! Shizu-chan....ah! Ah!”

 

Shizuo thrust into him relentlessly, could feel himself reach his limit, he pushed deeper and pounded against Izaya’s prostate. The raven’s eyes rolled back, and he screamed Shizuo’s name over and over the more he felt the blond take him. Shizuo panted heavily, he reached up and wrapped his hand around Izaya’s cock and pumped him vigorously in time with his repeated thrusts. “Come for me....Izaya”

 

Izaya arched off the boxes and tensed with a cry of pleasure as he came hard. Shizuo gritted his teeth and thrust inside hard one more time before reaching his limit, coming fast.

 

Continuing to ride out his orgasm, he twitched and pushed himself slowly inside as Izaya collapsed after he fully released himself. Both panting heavily, neither one having enough strength to speak, Shizuo and Izaya both grunted as the blond pulled out, collapsing to the side.

 

“Damn....” Shizuo finally said as he leaned up on his elbow “Are you....all right, Izaya?”

 

Still with a heavy pant, Izaya turned his head with a half grin on his face. “I’m all right....are you?”

 

Shizuo chuckled “You have to ask?”

 

Izaya laughed and leaned up to kiss him “I love you”

 

“I love you too”

 

............................

 

Mai came running up to them as they were putting the last of their boxes into what space was left on the truck. She had been with Shizuo’s parents while they had been loading up the moving truck. Shizuo reached down and picked her. “Ready to go?”

 

Mai nodded “Yep!”

 

Shizuo and Izaya shared an amused glance as Namiko and Kichirou tried their best not to cry. Shizuo put Mai down and Namiko hugged him tight. “Call us as soon as you get there” she told him, while Kichirou shook hands with Izaya.

 

“Take care of yourself now” the man said and Izaya nodded, grasping his arm firmly.

 

“I promise”

 

The parents switched and Namiko wrapped her arms around the raven with a light sob. “I’m so glad you’re safe” she whispered before pulling away. “We love you both so much”

 

Izaya squeezed her hand lightly “You too”

 

Namiko looked down and lifted Mai up “And you little lady, be good ok?”

 

Mai nodded, little tears were in her eyes now and she hugged Namiko tightly, Kichirou’s arms coming to wrap around both of them.

 

“Hey!” A call from nearby interrupted them. They turn to see not just Shinra and Celty, but a whole group of their friends, along with Mairu and Kururi, who had also decided to bring someone else along: Akane. “You didn’t think we were going to let you leave without saying goodbye did you?” Shinra spoke again, he and Celty were at the forefront of the group. The others behind held up a large banner that read: we’ll miss you.

 

Izaya chuckled and Shizuo smiled. “Guess not” The blond said.

 

Shinra walked forward and grasped Izaya’s hand. “You put me through a lot you know that?”

 

“Sorry about that” Izaya smiled

 

“You deserve this Izaya. I’m so proud of you”

 

“I know, I know that now. And thank you, for everything Shinra”

 

Shinra pulled the raven in for a hug “I’ll miss you, you pain in the ass”

 

“You too”

 

Shinra and Celty switched, Izaya half grinned at the Dullahan and said, “You going to hug me too?” And then Izaya smiled and Celty wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry for everything” Izaya pulled away and looked at everyone, all the friends he’d gained over the time he’d been with Shizuo, he wouldn’t trade them for anything. “All of you. I apologise for all the things I did in my time living here. I hope I’ve done enough to redeem myself in your eyes. Because I’m truly grateful for your friendship”

 

He was met with smiles and a loud applause was also gained before Mairu and Kururi ran up to him and embraced him tightly.

 

Shizuo and Tom fist bumped “Take care of yourself man” Tom said

 

Shizuo chuckled “Think we can do better than that after all this time” and the two hugged with a pat on the back “Thanks. For everything”

 

“You don’t need to thank me. Just happy to have known you”

 

Shizuo was then hugged by Celty, he then smiled at her “You always looked out for me. I never did thank you for that. So thanks”

 

[Take care of yourself!] [I’m truly happy for you] and she showed the same message to Izaya.

 

Izaya pushed his sisters away gently, feeling that if they didn’t leave now, everyone was going to start crying, including himself. “All right. We’ll send an email once we get settled in” he said and lifted Mai up, not giving a slightest damn that it strained his body a little. Which was now aching due to his and Shizuo’s-act of insane passion earlier.

 

Shizuo waved at them all as the group waved goodbye with tears in their eyes. A car drew up beside the truck, Kasuka and Ruri smiled at them. Shizuo turned to Izaya “My brother wants to drive us to the airport, is that ok? He’s going to come back and make sure our stuff is taken to the right loading bays afterwards”

 

Izaya nodded with a smile “I don’t mind” and the three of them got into the back seats of Kasuka’s new car. “Let’s go” Izaya smiled over at Shizuo “Ready?”

 

Shizuo nodded and took his hand “Yeah. I’m ready”

 

And the car drove away, with their friends and family cheering and shouting their goodbyes as they left behind what had been their home for as long as they could remember: Ikebukuro. Though the memories they had made, good and bad, stayed with them. Izaya and Shizuo leaned in and kissed, the raven smiled “Time to make new memories”

 

……………………..

 

Kasuka parked the car and stepped out. Izaya, Shizuo and Mai followed after. Izaya gave Shizuo a little space to say goodbye.

 

Shizuo shuffled his feet, it had only just hit him that he was leaving everything behind. “I owe everything to you Kasuka. You were the first person to accept me as I am”

 

Kasuka shook his head “There is nothing owed. Brother. You truly are a great man. A terrific brother , a loving father-“ Kasuka let a small grin cross his face as he poked Shizuo’s neck “and I’m guessing a wonderful partner too”

 

Shizuo glared behind him at Izaya as he covered his neck with his hand. Izaya smirked at him and shrugged. Shizuo sighed and turned back to his brother. “I’ll miss you”

 

“You too. Take care of each other, and I wish you all good luck” then the two brothers hugged. Kasuka got into the car and Ruri turned to wave at them from her seat. Shizuo nodded and waved back. Kasuka turned in his seat, leaning out of the window. “By the way. You’re going to be an uncle” and with that, Kasuka drove away, leaving a gaping Shizuo behind.

 

Izaya stepped beside him with Mai holding his hand. “Uncle Shizu-chan hm? Who knew”

 

Shizuo smiled “Yeah. Who knew”

 

“Are you ready to go?”

 

Shizuo took a deep breath and took Mai’s other hand “Let’s go make memories”

 

Izaya smiled and they made their way to the gates that would take them to their new home, to their new lives.

 

..............................

 

Three years later

 

“I now pronounce you, Husband and Husband. Congratulations” a minister said with a smile as Izaya and Shizuo stood under the white arch outside a small church.

 

Izaya grinned and said “Finally” as he leaned forward and captured Shizuo’s lips. A roar of cheers erupted as their friends and family had flown over to witness the moment when the couple could finally marry legally. Shizuo chuckled as he lifted their ten-year-old daughter up, she laughed when he placed her on his shoulders. Now they could also legally adopt her themselves.

 

A woman walked over to them, carrying a small bundle in her arms, Izaya turned and held his hands out as she handed the baby over to him. “Hey,” Izaya said softly “How’s our little man doing?” Shizuo smiled and placed his finger inside the blanket for the little boy to grab.

 

The woman who had previously been holding the baby, was Izaya’s boss, though they preferred work partners. She was the main reason that they could live over here, able to get him a good job and a nice house to live in. He and Shizuo were most grateful to her, she became a good friend of theirs, the first one they gained within their new city. Around ten months ago, they had approached her with a very delicate request, and she didn’t hesitate to agree to be their surrogate, so they could have another child: Torakichi Heiwajima. (Tora for short) named after Izaya’s grandfather. He had been born four months ago, before the wedding.

 

Izaya and Shizuo gained a whole lot more when they gained each other, they gained a new reason for living, amazing friends; and found out what it meant to be a family, to love each other unconditionally. One day, they were going to thank Shinra for introducing them to each other, on that one fateful day, twenty years ago to the day, their first day of high school.

 

No matter what happened in their lives, whatever the future held for them years from now....

 

They would always have each other, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe it’s nearly over! what a wild ride that was! I’m so sad to be almost finished with this trilogy, it’s been so much fun writing it. Thank you to everyone who has been following the series up until this point, thank you for all your support over time and all your lovely wonderful comments. 
> 
> I would not have gotten this far without your encouragement!!
> 
> There will be one last chapter to end the story with, but I feel now is the right time to say all my thanks! I love you all!


	16. Until we meet again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The last chapter of my trilogy. I’m so sad and yet so happy.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy

Izaya opened his slowly, there was light coming in from the gap in the curtains of his bedroom. He turned to the window and then followed the other occupant in the room with his eyes as they walked around to stand beside the bed. Izaya gave a tired smile, not quite having the energy to sit up to give a proper greeting. But that was normal now, his strength was wavering almost everyday; and he found that every time he awoke in the morning, it seemed more of a struggle.

 

Today was proof of that, he was well aware of how weak he felt, maybe this was going to be the last time he saw those curtains open, the other occupant that stood beside him.... Izaya still didn’t understand why she was here, why she had been here for the last three or four weeks? It wasn’t her duty to care for him. However, he was grateful regardless, because if it wasn’t for her he might have- Izaya didn’t want to think about withering away like a dying flower alone, because he wasn’t alone, at least not now. “You don’t have to stay with me....” he managed to say as she sat on the edge of the bed. He realised, after her first week she had stayed, that she was going to remain here until the end. Why? He didn’t know. The one she loved was gone, all of their friends had passed on overtime in the last fifteen or so years....

  
A deep pain filled his heart before he suppressed his emotions, he’d learned to live with it.

 

[I made a promise] came the reply from the phone that the Dullahan was holding.

 

Izaya gave a light chuckle “I don’t think he expected you to quite literally take it seriously....when he asked you to take care of me”

 

Celty hunched her shoulders and then tapped on her screen; how she still had the same phone that Shinra gave her after all this time he’d never know. [Im staying!] [You’re the only family I have left]

 

She had a point, didn’t she? But just like it hadn’t been fair on him, it wasn’t fair on her either, to watch those around you pass on while you remained living. It was worse for her he supposed, since she would never die of old age or...Izaya bit his lip, grabbing a fistful of the bed sheet.

 

[Whats wrong?]

 

Izaya relaxed and smiled “You know. It’s good in a way....that Shizu-chan left before me”

 

She tilted her helmet [We don’t have to talk about that]

 

Izaya shook his head “It’s ok. I think, it was better that way. You know, I should have been dead years ago....so many times. If I had gone first, he might not have believed it” he chuckled, a light joke to make the pain of loss more tolerable.

 

[I know what you mean. You did have a habit of surviving a great deal back then] [even now. I don’t know how you do it] [Its not really natural, is it? To outlive your child]

 

Izaya choked back tears and shook his head “No. it’s not. but I made a promise too. I promised Shizu-chan that I wouldn’t give up, no matter what”

 

Tora had passed away 10 years ago on a boating accident, he was 50.  Izaya and Shizuo were informed by their son’s wife; he had gone fishing and his boat tipped over in a storm, he was recovered by a coastguard. That was the last time they heard from her.

 

A year later, Shizuo was diagnosed with lung cancer, even though he’d quit smoking a long time ago, and he passed away six months after the diagnosis. Between the loss of their youngest and the news of the illness, along with his age; Shizuo refused treatment and died peacefully at home with Izaya.

 

Their daughter Mai, aged 70, now lived in Florida with her husband. Neither of the children had kids.

 

“Would you do me a favour?” Izaya asked

 

[Anything]

 

“In the closest, at the very back, there’s a wooden box. Would you get it for me”

 

Celty nodded and opened up the closest, she bent down and retrieved the antique looking box from underneath the clothing and made her way back to the bed. With a little effort, Izaya pushed himself to a sitting position. Celty helped pull his pillows up so that he’d have more comfort. Izaya opened the box and little by little, he revealed what was inside.

 

Shizuo’s rings

 

Their marriage certificate, along with their partnership document

 

There were a few tickets that had been kept from times they had seen shows at the theatre.

 

Izaya’s eyes became misty when he pulled out their photo album, the one his sisters had gotten him for Christmas one year. Celty scooted up on the bed so that she could look through it with him. There was a sense of dread that filled her, and she had this feeling that Izaya knew it was his time. When a picture came of them all with Celty and Shinra on New Years, she portrayed a sad aura and her hand came over to graze the photo with her fingertips. Izaya’s hand then covered hers. “Will you leave, when I’ve gone?”

 

Celty looked at him, the thought had crossed her mind. [I don’t know]

 

Izaya then closed the album and took out another smaller album. It was hard to imagine himself as being that youthful now, staring at the picture of him and Shizuo under the archway of their wedding day. “You know. I can’t complain. I’m ninety four years old. I’ve had a very long and fulfilling life in all honesty. I raised a family and spent most of my life with the one I fell in love with. I did and saw things no one could dream of. My best friends were some of the most interesting people. How many people can say they were friends with a Dullahan, or that their husband was considered the strongest in the entire city, this one and Ikebukuro. I’m leaving this world with all my faculties, and thanks to those around me, I die with no regrets because I atoned”

 

Celty was overwhelmed by his words, leave it to Izaya to cause this kind of emotional goodbye. [You are a remarkable man Izaya. I’m very happy I knew you]

 

Izaya looked at her and squeezed her hand “Me too” he then pulled out an envelope and tore the edging off and revealed a letter. “Before Shizu-chan died, he left me this letter. Told me not to open it until after he’d gone. But....I wanted to wait longer, I wanted this to be the last thing I read....”

 

Celty lightly clenched her fists. She’d said goodbye to so many people in her life. But.... a determination fell upon her and she knew; Izaya was going to be the last one. She lay a hand on his shoulder and urged him to read it. If the letter was the last thing he wanted to read, then she wasn’t going to speak through her phone.

 

Izaya read the letter, and with each sentence he told, emotion overcame him, and if Celty noticed him slowing down she didn’t let on.

 

Celty startled when the paper in Izaya’s hands fell on his lap, she turned slowly to look at him, his eyes were closed, and his body was lax. Her hand reached over to stroke his face, and she noticed the smile that graced his expression. _Izaya, I’ll miss you_

 

She stood up and raised her hands, his body became engulfed in shadow, and then she cradled him in her arms.

 

..............................

 

Celty stood in front of a black headstone, the writing on the left side with Shizuo Heiwajima engraved. The stone now had adjoined inscription on the right side, where his husband lay to rest with him. Izaya Heiwajima.

 

Mai stood beside her with tears in her eyes, sporting an umbrella as the light rain came down over them “Love you Iz-nii” she said “I know Dad is waiting for you” Silence fell over them for a few moments until Mai let out a deep sad sigh. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

 

Celty stiffened and inclined her helmet up toward the sky, she then produced her phone and typed. [It’s time]

 

Mai smiled and nodded “I understand”

 

[I made a promise nine years ago to take care of Izaya after your Dad died. Now that they’re both gone….I feel like it’s the right time to leave]

 

“Thank you Celty. You’ve been such a wonderful friend. You were always there for both of them, especially when I couldn’t be”

 

[They were proud of you. they knew you loved them] They wanted you to live your life, never wanted you to constantly worry about them]

 

Mai nodded “I know. I miss them so much. But they’re together now” She smiled “You know. Iz-nii always believed they would meet again someday”

 

[Do you believe that?]

 

“I do. They’re destined to be together, no matter what”

 

Celty turned and lay a hand on Mai’s shoulder and then gave her a tight hug. [I’ll miss you. I’ll never forget my life here]

 

Mai wiped her eyes “I’ll never forget you either” The Dullahan’s whole attire changed into the outfit she had long since forgotten about. The shadow seeped from her armour and the black horse came galloping up to her side. A young girl’s head now lay tucked within her arm. Black shadow burst forth into the sky, and Mai watched as Celty and shooter disappeared from her life. Mai smiled and then turned her attention back to the head stone. “I love you both. I hope you’ll find each other again soon”

 

………………………………

 

A young male, wearing a light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up, black khaki’s and white sneakers; stepped onto the campus. The grass neatly cut, and a long pathway lead up to the large building. He sighed, both hands in his pockets as the wind blew his light brown hair. He pulled out his wallet and slid out his key card, which had his ID number, room number and his picture. “This is it” he muttered to himself, placing his wallet back in his pocket. As he lifted his head up to the campus building, he caught sight of someone staring at him from the corner of his eye. A girl around his age, dressed in black tight jeans, a red crop top that showed off her flat stomach, and a long black coat. She was stood against the large water fountain that was situated in the middle of the grounds. “Weird” he suddenly couldn’t shake the feeling that he knew her, but he was very sure he’d never seen her before.

 

Walking toward the fountain with his luggage in tow, he passed by her, having no intention to make conversation. He promised his parents, that his time at this university, was going to be well spent, and that meant his studies came first. Eyes were still on him, following him, and he ignored the feeling.

 

The girl tucked black strands behind her ear, she smiled and checked her key card.

 

“Checking out the guys already Aoi?” another girl said as she stepped beside her.

 

Aoi turned with a dry laugh and said “Only one Himari. Since when do I scout for guys anyway?”

 

“Relax. It was a joke. I know you’re all hell bent on that soul mate stuff”

 

Aoi rolled her eyes “I don’t expect you to understand”

 

Himari turned to the building where the male in question had disappeared into. “So~ is he ‘the one’”

 

Aoi shoved her “Shut the hell up. How should I know? I’ve never seen him before”

 

Himari giggled “But according to you, that doesn’t matter”

 

Aoi then stared at the building, a smile crossed her face. “You know, I did feel like I knew him”

 

Himari’s eyes widened “Really?”

 

Aoi nodded

 

…………………

 

The brunet wrote his name on a form and produced his ID card, showing it to the woman behind a marble looking desk. “Welcome to the university of Tokyo. Please use the map on the wall to help you locate your dorm” she told him. He raised an eyebrow and sidestepped to allow someone else to approach the desk. He stared up at the map, it looked like a maze. There were four corners, each section contained several dorms with set numbers.

 

He glanced down at his ID and then looked back up at the map. “Screw it. I’ll find it without the stupid map. Can’t be that hard” a laugh sounded beside him, he turned to find another male, short blond hair wearing a black hoodie and white khaki’s.

 

“What’s your room number?”

 

“It says 12AB. I can’t even find that on the map”

 

The other male smiled and pointed to the second corner section. “This is the A section, and just below it, this line right here. is AB, kind of like a side section”

 

“Oh. Thanks”

 

“Looks like you and me are sharing a dorm. I’m 12AB too” the blond male held his hand out “I’m Levi Masaru”

 

The brunet gave a small smile and shook Levi’s hand “Sora Yumata”

 

“Nice to meet you. I gotta go check in with my coach. You wanna come with?”

 

Sora shook his head. “Nah. I can find the dorm myself now, thanks. meet you there”

 

Levi shrugged “All right. catch you later”

 

Levi left Sora alone to make his way back outside, a hand grabbed his arm, he turned to find a girl. “Can I help you?”

 

Aoi gave a smirk “I have a proposition for you”

 

…………………….

 

Sora brought his ID card out and looked at the numbering that was engraved on the door in front of him. 12AB. “I suppose this is it” he muttered, he placed the card on top of the scanner that was attached to the door frame. It bleeped green and he pushed open the door, dragging his suitcase with him. A short grunt of surprise slipped from his mouth, his eyes grew wide as the girl from the fountain turned to him, clearly in the middle of unpacking her case into the assigned draws. “Excuse me, what are you doing in here?”

 

Aoi tilted her head and then sat herself on the bed farthest to the right. “This is my dorm”

 

Sora frowned a little, he checked his card once again before saying “No. this is _my_ dorm”

 

“Well I would assume so. Since your key card worked and all”

 

Sora snorted “That’s not what I meant”

 

“Then what did you mean?”

 

“I- well, I was under the impression that a male was my roommate”

 

Aoi stood up and stretched “This university has mixed gender dorms. It is the twenty second century after all”

 

Sora sighed in annoyance “That’s not what I meant either!”

 

“Whatever. I’m your roommate, must have been a mix up”

 

Sora shook his head and decided to drop the matter, there was nothing he could do about it now. he dragged his suitcase toward the other bed and flopped down on it, placing his key card on the night stand. Aoi skipped over and sat on the edge of the bed; Sora glanced over at her. “What?”

 

Aoi smirked “Nothing” she then picked up his ID “So. What are you studying here, Sora-chan”

 

Sora sat up on his elbows and then snatched the card back “If you must know-”

 

“I must”

 

Sora huffed “If you _must_ know, Physiology”

 

Aoi’s eyes roamed over him and he suddenly became embarrassed “You don’t look the sports type. But looks can be deceiving I suppose”

 

Sora tried hard not to blush, he sat up and leaned against the head board. “So what about you?”

 

Aoi stood up with a smirk “Psychology”

 

Sora gave a smirk of his own “I can see that. matches your confidence”

 

Aoi raised an eyebrow “Got me figured out already?”

 

Sora stood up and leaned forward “Confident. Holds herself in quite high regard. Arrogant”

 

Aoi frowned and then raised her hand to slap him, he grasped her wrist lightly. Aoi then smirked “I think you left out beautiful”

 

Sora rolled his eyes “Is that so”

 

“Quite” Sora let go of her wrist with a sudden start. His eyes darted to the side and then back to hers, a strange feeling came over him. “Did my beauty overwhelm you that much?”

 

Sora shook his head, but he couldn’t shake the feeling. He knew this girl from somewhere, he was sure of it. “I’m going to get some fresh air”

 

Aoi shrugged and watched him as he made his way to the door “Do you believe in reincarnation, Sora-chan?” Sora froze and turned to her, his hand on the door handle, he blinked and then quickly left the room. She placed her hand over her chest, there was no doubt in her mind now. _It’s him, it has to be_

By the time Sora got back from his walk around the campus, Aoi wasn’t in the room. His thoughts had become muddled, and he was now more confused then when he left. He sighed and flopped across his bed, his head turned to the other side, to the unoccupied bed. Sora frowned in thought, he knew her from somewhere, but he had no idea where.

 

.......................

 

_A raven haired male turned to him with a smirk, leaning in and planting a delicate kiss on his lips. Long fingers wrapped around his wrist to pull him forward. “Shizu-chan”_

Sora woke with a start. It wasn’t uncommon, for him to have such weird dreams, ones where he knew neither of the people in them. Yet.....he got this feeling that he did. There was a distinction between them, a pull toward the raven and a sense of familiarisation with the other, as though he were him. He believed in reincarnation, ever since he was a boy, and that belief only got stronger when he had his first dream at fifteen. He solely believed that he was experiencing someone else’s memories. It sounded crazy when he thought about it, but at the same time it didn’t.

 

He’d been here a week and his dreams had gotten stronger since he arrived. The more he interacted with Aoi-his somewhat irritating roommate- the more his beliefs were likely becoming true. He couldn’t describe it, but when she asked him that question on his first day here, there was no way that was a coincidence. He fucking knew her, and he wasn’t above admitting that there was a certain quality in her that he was attracted to.

 

Sora glanced over at the other bed, she was asleep, at least he figured she was, since it was still very dark in the room. A passing thought crossed his mind; in his dreams, he could never place the name that belonged to the black haired male. Yet- he’d always hear the other, the one to whom might be a figment of his past self. _Shizu-chan_

 

Sora frowned, Aoi had been calling him Sora-chan since they met, at first it annoyed him, it sounded too cute a word he really didn’t like being associated with himself. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t mind it now, but again, that couldn’t just be a coincidence, right?

 

Sora closed his eyes, he was still tired, and he figured he could get a few more hours sleep. He didn’t like where his thoughts were heading. Aoi could not be linked to the raven male in his dreams, that just wasn’t possible! Well, it was, if you believed in that, but.....to be presented with the sudden possibility....that was a scary thought, and an exciting one at the same time.

 

_Their fingers linked together, swaying against one another, grinding their bodies as they shared a passionate kiss. “I love you. Izaya”_

Sora startled awake again, this time, the room was lighter, at least it was an indication that the sun was rising. He sat up with a gasp, head spinning as he gathered his thoughts. “Can’t be” all his life he felt different, like he was supposed to be part of someone else, dreaming of their memories..... now, here he was, sharing a dorm with another individual who may or may not be the other half of those memories.

 

Sora licked his lips and a shudder ran down his spine. The name sounded strange and yet, so familiar, but he’d never heard it before until now. He glanced over at the bed to find it empty. His phone lit up suddenly and he reached over to grab it off his nightstand. :Meet me on the roof. Aoi xx:

 

Ok, so he was pretty sure he hadn’t yet given her his number. But he didn’t care about that right now; he jumped out of bed and pulled on his grey hoodie from yesterday, slid on his sneakers, grabbed his key card and quickly left the room.

 

Sora stepped through the door to the roof of the campus building. There she was, dressed in her usual black jeans and red crop top. The sun was slowly beginning to rise, creating a ray of different colours across the sky. She turned to him and his heart skipped, everything about her was familiar, her personality, her looks, her _smirk_ and Sora remembered how the raven- _Izaya_ , had adorned that same smirk.

 

Aoi leaned against the metal fence, thumbs hooked inside her pockets. “You never answered my question you know”

 

Sora blinked at the realisation she had spoken “What?”

 

“My question. The first day we met. I asked you if you believed in reincarnation”

 

How could he forget? “Do you?”

 

“Yes” Aoi then started to approach him “I’m living proof” Sora had no idea what that meant, but he was starting to think his theories were right. Aoi stopped in front of him and Sora gulped. “It’s you. Tell me that it’s you”

 

Sora opened his mouth to speak but he couldn’t, Aoi tiptoed and leaned forward, his eyes watched her as she pressed her lips to his own. A warmth spread throughout his entire body, he felt his mind go blank for a moment and then images flashed through it, he became overwhelmed and sought out Aoi’s support. He held onto her as he deepened the kiss, causing her to gasp; was she experiencing the same thing?

 

By the time they pulled away, everything became clearer, and for the first time since they met, he _knew_ her. Knew _him_. “Iz-“ a finger pressed against his lips.

 

Aoi smirked at him “We shouldn’t jinx it. I don’t really know how it works, but we should treat our past names as taboo, Sora-chan”

 

Sora’s gripped tightened ever so slightly on his- on her arms. “I can’t believe it- it’s really you....”

 

Aoi wrapped her arms around his neck. “I knew it was you the first moment I saw you. I just had to wait to be certain. You weren’t quite there yet”

 

“This is- this is unreal...I mean, it’s you”

 

Aoi giggled “Didn’t I tell you?” Aoi kissed him again “We’ll always come back to each other”

 

Sora huffed a laugh “I will admit. I kind of had a little doubt”

 

“That might be why it took you longer to realise”

 

“I’m sorry for that”

 

Aoi shook her head “It doesn’t matter. You got there”

 

Sora then reached up and threaded his fingers through her black strands. “This is new” his eyes roamed down and Aoi poked him in the chest.

 

“Oi. Eyes up”

 

Sora chuckled “What’s a female version of the flea like hm?”

 

Aoi clicked her tongue “Shut up. It’s not like I had any kind of decision in my reincarnation”

 

“I vaguely remember being attracted only to males” Sora pulled her closer “However, I’m very attracted to _you_ , gender doesn’t matter”

 

Aoi huffed a laugh and jumped into his arms, hooking her legs around his waist. “Good” she leaned down and kissed him deeply.

 

“I’ll always come back to you”

 

“Because you’ll always be mine”

 

“No matter what life we find ourselves in”

 

“Forever and always”

 

“I love you”

 

“I love you too, Sora-chan”

 

 

 

 

_To Izaya,_

_If you’re reading this, I guess that means I’m gone. Or I’m in the next room because you’re too impatient and can’t follow a simple request._

_I can’t possibly describe how much you mean to me, and how grateful I am to you for putting up with me all this time, heh._

_My life with you has been amazing and I can’t tell you enough just how much you made me happy. We went through so much together and regardless of how bad it got, I loved every waking minute of it._

_It’s selfish, but please don’t be sad when I leave you, carry on, and don’t ever give up._

_I love you so much, there’s nothing in my life that I regret, you brought so much more to my existence then you will ever know. I would not have come this far without you, you understood me in a way no one else did._

_Thank you for everything, for our children, for our life together, for being you and for loving me._

_I know that we’ll be together again soon, because you’re hardly ever wrong._

_I love you Izaya._

_Until we meet again_

_Love_

_Shizu-chan_

_xxxx_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope that this chapter gives the story the ending it deserved
> 
> Once again, thank you everyone for your kind words and amazing feedback. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it!
> 
> What a rollercoaster that was!
> 
> Thank you loads, love you all!


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